Bl:oodswap: Guess Who's Getting a Spinoff?

Chapter 1: The Name that Was Everywhere

Beginning AN:

NEW VERSION UPDATE: Hey. So, I like Homestuck again. I mean I've always still liked most of it, I just wasn't fond of the Retcon stuff. But the Epilogues made up for that and kinda un-deus ex machina'd the ending so I feel that it's actually interesting again and there's now actual stakes. And Homestuck 2... well... okay I wrote everything in this paragraph before this sentence a few updates ago and... yeah. I liked the Epilogues at least.

Anyway, around the time the Extended Zodiac dropped, I thought about the old Bl:oodswap, which I "replaced" with this. The old Bl:oodswap sucked. I might rewrite this over entirely yet again, this version as it stands and if I do give it a major rewrite is mostly just so that I could get the old version out of the way. Again, the old version sucked. This isn't so much me trying to get the new one in as it is getting the old one out. (I had already done some tweaks, although that was mostly clarifying stuff.)

"Fan you're bloodswapping wrong. The characters should have different last names and stuff." I don't think there's any hard-set rules on how it works. Hell years ago some people thought that any bloodswapped Sollux had to have Vision 2-fold and any goldbloods must not have that because it's a Sollux Thing for his duality motif and not a general goldblood thing, and then later it was confirmed that Vision 2-fold and the like was exclusive to goldbloods so all those Sollux swaps where he kept his powers are suddenly innacurate to canon. Plus this is not your ordinary bloodswap. Far from it. I admitedly had not seen that much in the way of bloodswapping (I've probably read more parodies of it than genuine attempts, to be honest), but I can still tell you that this will be... very different. Not even talking about the basic premise.

EVEN MORE RECENT BUT MUCH SMALLER CHANGE (5/11/2021 - don't expect dated updates like with Teaser by the way, if I get to more chapters (see the closing notes for if this will update) I'll stop with this): Alright, I've done a tweak... but saying what the biggest "tweak" of that would be is a bit of a spoiler.


It was typical of one particular troll, at that point, to wake up to having several of those trolls parading outside of her hive. Her eyes opened - one with one pupil, one with seven - and she groaned.

Conqueror. 'Blueblood.' Her name was Nepeta Leijon.

"Join us! Please!" She recognized that voice as that of a troll named Bororo. She was awful. And, to casually spoil a later development, she will die soon. The reason why Nepeta was able to hear Bororo despite being a few floors up was because of the typical, clown-spotted megaphone she carried.

Nepeta stuck her head out of her cocoon and let out a groan. She did not mind having people take a slight interest in her, it's just that these...

"The time will come for the Ones to unite and venture to a land of joyousness and bliss that extends through all of spacetime!"

Yeah. Were nuts.

Specifically, a cult.

Washing the slime off and getting dressed in the usual black sign-bearing troll shirt, simple cerulean jeans, and a small but spike-filled black jacket, Nepeta went out the front door to find her usual regulars, all gathered in-mass in front of her hive.

Six trolls! Six! Her gathering was getting out of hand. There was that aformentioned juggalo, Bororo, as well as a few more random trolls, and... that guy. That guy who hid his blood color. The other main 'regular.' Who did not look like he wanted to be a part of the group. He looked as though he was trying to fight his way past the massive crowd of five trolls in front of him.

"Um, could you leave me alone please?" Nepeta asked. "The sun just set, I need to get ready to-"

"IT'S TIME! SCORPIO HAS AWOKEN FOR THIS NIGHT AS WELL!" Bororo screamed in to her megaphone, in spite of Nepeta being right in front of her. "SURELY, THE CONQUEROR WILL BE WITH US TO UNITE THE OTHER ONES! THE ENGINEER, TOO!"

Nepeta raised a brow. "...'Engineer?'"

She looked around her neighborhood-

Oh. That hive wasn't there before. Oh no...

Across the cliff from her, awkwardly pushing close to another hive, was a castle slightly bigger than Nepeta's own. Rested on a quartet of long, gray, 'furry' legs, and with an indigo tail sprouting from it.

"It's the beginning of the Destined Gathering of Twelve!" Bororo, at least, stopped yelling in to her megaphone. She was still more than loud enough to hear clearly from below. "She's here! The Engineer! Conqueror, this is your chance!"

"I, uh..." she gave a few awkward glances at the one that seemed to be the leader of her titantic cult, "I didn't plan this. Let me just... talk to her over there!"

"An in-person conversation between Ones! How exciting! It's another sign of the times!"

Nepeta looked at her. Even if she did want to Purrsuade her, she... argh, blood was so confusing! Purple, was she able to Purrsuade her or not? That was one of the definite 'no's, right?

Nepeta closed the door.

...

Okay, no protests, Bororo seemingly allowed it-

"WAIT!" Shouted the anonblood. Or, unless gray was a blood color? No, no it obviously wasn't. There were only eleven colors. Despite Bororo and the cult insisting otherwise. "I'M NOT WITH THESE... FREAK..."

He looked like he had trouble coming up with an insult. Okay, well, Nepeta thought she could just give him some time with that. If it wasn't for the whole cult thing.

Anyhow, she needed to give her neighbor a stern talking to.

- alignmentGouge [AG] began trolling creativeTibia [TC] -
AG: ::::8 hi!
AG: ::::8 remem8er our agreement?
AG: ::::8 our hives shouldnt 8e next to each other
AG: ::::8 and theyre
AG: ::::8 next to eachother
AG: ::::8 hello?
CT: :% busy
AG: XXXX8 NO!
AG: ::::8 stop 8eing 8usy!
CT: :% but i cant! im so close to finishing something!
AG: XXXX8 WHAT?
CT: :% ITS
CT: :0 C001!
CT: :0 a machine that lets you punch. out. ANYTHING!
AG: ::::8 you 8etter not 8e roleplaying right now!
CT: :% heehee, do you see asterisks? no this is real!
AG: ::::8 why would you of all people need that?
CT: :% its not for me!
AG: ::::8 oh
CT: :% so whats wrong with my hive? try to make it quick if you can
AG: ::::8 its next to mine
AG: ::::8 my cult circus is talking
AG: ::::8 more like OUR cult circus
AG: ::::8 youre in this too you know
CT: :% i know!
CT: :% i was trying to escape some weirdos
CT: :% i guess i just ended up by your hive by mistake! sorry!
CT: :% theres so many of us its hard to keep track of where i shouldnt go!
AG: ::::/ i know...
AG: ::::8 its hard
AG: ::::8 going anywhere NEAR the sea is just begging for trouble
AG: ::::8 forests and caves are TEEMING with cultists
AG: ::::8 and the mountains...
AG: ::::8 *shudders*
CT: :0 what happened to no r01eplay?
AG: ::::8 oh right
CT: :% well this thing can help you punch stuff better!
CT: :% its mostly for the mes that cant get food as easily since they dont have that highb100d money like we do
CT: :% not to brag! i dont want to brag!
AG: ::::8 can i try it out?
CT: :% why?
AG: ::::8 on the cultists
CT: X% no dont!
CT: :% i know theres a few troll b100d colors and if we kill them well be in trouble!
AG: ::::8 relax! i just want to give them a little scare!
AG: ::::8 the clown cultist is devoted. she seems like the worst
AG: ::::8 but the boy with the gray sign is also really annoying
AG: ::::8 *eye roll*
CT: :% youre r01eplaying again
AG: XXXX8 ARGH!
AG: ::::8 well just move your hive! please!
AG: ::::8 i dont want MORE cultists to show up!
CT: :% okay fine
- alignmentGouge [AG] ceased trolling creativeTibia [CT] -

Okay.

That was Scorpio Nepeta Leijon.

And she was just trolling Sagittarius Nepeta Leijon.

All of these trolls somehow bearing the same name made things exponentially more complex, no? That was how Scorpio saw it, anyway.

She looked out her window to see her newfound, but not for long, neighbor getting ready to move that massive beauty. And Scorpio Nepeta did not mean that sarcastically: that was a pretty cool hive! A gigantic castle was one thing, but one with its own legs and, more importantly, tail that twitched so lovingly... looking like it was ready to pounce at any moment...

Scorpio Nepeta smiled at that.


And thus, to get her hive moving yet again, levers were pulled and buttons were pushed.

Her name was Sagittarius Nepeta Leijon (again), and she was on the run.

Sagittarius Nepeta, unsurprisingly, looked a lot like Scorpio Nepeta. Just with the different sign. And in an outfit more suited to working out. And her hair was messier of course, and her eyebags were bright indigo.

When you are one of... how many was it? Too many. One of too many that shares the same name and general looks, of course people would get suspicious about that. Set up a cult, uniting the strangers that they have designated as 'Ones' together for some purpose.

Well, it was annoying. But hey, she at least had definite, non-cultish company in the form of robots!

...Wait, not really. First, don't robots by default kind of have cultish feelings towards their maker? Second, Sagittarius Nepeta was horrible with robotics. She mainly just went in to them because... what was it, again? It was a hobby that kind of felt like trollkind was forcing on her, to be honest. She had absurd strength, and felt like she should try putting that to something. Working on the farm in some way seemed like a pretty good way to start, burning off all that energy on animals. Filling her already-stuffed source of food. Getting her already overflowing source of paint.

She guessed robots were kind of thrown on her? It was a recent thing. They made everything better, she could just afford them... the works.

Really, metal just found her, if anything. Like somebody dumped it right in front of her when she was a wriggler.

And she just rolled with it.


The forests of Alternia were always a lovely setting. A place she could feel at home in.

Her name was Libra Nepeta Leijon, with hair looking like it was styled for a job she wasn't sure she knew anything about, jeans ripped from various tree-related things, and a simple usual Alternian sign shirt; and the treetops greeted her the same way as every night.

Well, that being the last regular 'night' for her. On Alternia. But also the last regular night for her in general.

She called her hive a 'nest' some times. It wasn't even remotely that, but it wasn't fully a hive either. She just had it constructed as part of the large tree in the forest she was in, put it was pieced together... oddly. It lacked a roof, for one thing. And its walls were... it wasn't quite a circle. Her hive's external side was round for the most part, but had sharp angles in others.

Basically it looked like she lived in a messed up treehive. And she often got stuck up it. Mostly because she was always telling herself that she wouldn't be part of that stupid stereotype of meowbeasts getting stuck up trees and never coming down, and that that time she could get down and... oh and that aside, there were plenty of law books. She guessed. Because she was told about having to go in to law and the like soon based on her blood color? She didn't get that, but she bought a lot of law books. To read. Which she was going to. Eventually. She read the first few pages and skimmed around. But she was going to get to the whole books.

She wasn't going to get to the whole books.

As usual for any other day, she was going about peacefully. Leaping from the tops like some kind of flying beast. Hop. Leap. Find some animal to kill-

Trolls below her. Staring at her. Giving her that look they usually do.

"It's the Watcher!"

Oh no.

She was being harassed by the cultists again too.

Libra nearly felt like running off. Not because she didn't think she could handle them - she was already positive that they wouldn't even hurt her in the first place. Heck, they might even let her kill them if she wanted to. But that's the thing - she really didn't. But she didn't want to deal with and listen to their cultist crap either. So, ignoring them seemed like the best option.

"Watcher! Excavator has been spotted in the nearby mountains! That's two of you! And there's rumors of Engineer living around Conqueror! We just need to be in contact with our friends to verify, since few of us have Internet... But anyway, this could be the day of the Downfall!"

Spoiler alert, it actually was, but that's getting slightly ahead of things. And those trolls only guessed it by accident. Heck, to them, every day was the day of the Downfall. Something something, broken clock right twice a day after all.

"Um... that's great I guess?" Libra replied. "Have you ever thought about... finding other people to preach about the apaw-calypse to? And, leave me alone?"

"What if we just don't?" Asked a random one of the trolls.

"Well I'm going to climb in to my hive, if you don't mind."

She did but kept a firm eye on them the entire time.

Anyway, her hive.

Having hypersensitive... senses meant that she had to keep things a bit low-key, unless she was to be overwhelmed by the rotting stench of her hunts. And she had a lot of hunts, too.

Sadly, keeping clean was not Libra's strongest suit. Just keeping it bad scent-less.

Why did odor have to rise again?! If it sank, being in a tree-hive could solve everything!

Well, anyway, no need to worry about the cultists or the smell. An apocalypse was brewing.

One that was closer than she thought. A meteor crashed near by her home.

...It landed on the cultists, it landed on the cultists, it landed on the cultists...

NO!

Not that Libra was an active advocate of murder outside of the usual acceptable Alternian standards (basically if they bled red they might as well already be dead, something Libra used to remember a vague place she was at in the caste... where it would be okay or something?), but well, accidents happen. She could still hope for an accident? Or, no, hoping wasn't really her thing. Thinking about an accident? That sounded better.

Oh her computer was going off too. Well, time to ignore the cultists and just see what was up:

- applaudedTorture began trolling gorgeousCat-acombs [GC] -
AT: :1 NEPETA
AT: :1 wa1t a m1nute. what am 1 say1ng?
AT: :1 thats my name too! hah!
GC: :7 hi 7aurus
GC: :7 i don7 have 7ha7 much 7ime 7o 7alk
GC: :7 7he cul7is7s are af7er me again
AT: :1 already?
GC: :7 yes and 7heyre being really persis7en7
AT: :1 1 know! theyre EFURRYWHERE!
AT: :1 why do they even bother us?
AT: :1 just p1ck1ng some random k1ds to call gods?
GC: :7 7o be fair...
GC: :7 we aren7 7ha7 "random"
GC: :7 i mean, we all have 7he same name
GC: :7 and we all look 7he same, except our horns and our blood
GC: :7 i ha7e 7o say 7ha7 7heyre on 7o some7hing
GC: :7 bu7 i 7hink 7heyre on 7o some7hing
GC: :7 :(
AT: :1 yeah sadly
AT: :1 well 1 almost got s1detracked what you had to say was more 1nteres1ng than why 1 trolled you
AT: :1 all 1 have to say 1s that p1sces and gem1n1 are talk1ng about a v1deo game
GC: :7 oooooooh! wha7 kind of game?
AT: :1 a game that can move hives around or someth1ng!
GC: :7 oh! 7ha7 sounds fun!
GC: :7 so wheres 7he file?
AT: :1 .
AT: :1 thats the th1ng
AT: :1 1 dont have 1t
AT: :1 1 mean from what 1 undeerstand the game doesnt ex1st yet
GC: :7 um "undeers7and" is no7 a ca7 pun
AT: :1 oh you dont know? somet1mes 1 make other an1mal puns
AT: :1 but that 1 was just a typo
GC: :7 if 7he game doesn7 exis7 how do i play i7 and why did you message me abou7 i7?
GC: :7 oh wai7! is 7his one of your "projec7s" 7ha7 you say youll do bu7 you never do? i love 7hose!
AT: :1 no you can ask gem1n1
AT: :1 just not p1sces
GC: :7 i ha7e her "friend rules!"
GC: :7 she says she won7 7alk 7o people who aren7 her friends, but how do you become her friend in 7he firs7 place 7hen?
AT: :1 1 know shes.
AT: :1 mean
AT: :1 but thats why 1 sa1d you could ask gem1n1!
GC: :7 ...
GC: :7 i mean i have no7hing be77er 7o do
GC: :7 also a me7eor jus7 fell near my hive
AT: :0 WHAT.
GC: :7 ah i7s no7hing
GC: :7 bye!
AT: :1 well wa1t wa1t wa1t wa1t wa1t!
AT: :1 someth1ng about the game!
AT: :1 1ts um.
AT: :1 you need to f1nd someone to play w1th!
GC: :7 will keep 7ha7 in mind!
- gorgeousCat-acombs [GC] ceased trolling applaudedTorture -

Of course she wasn't just going to walk over there. That would take ages, Gemini lived far out in the city. Anyway. She was going to speak to her 'proxy' to get that message over to Gemini.


But wait. We're getting ahead of ourselves with Gemini.

There. Taurus. The Nepeta that the previous Nepeta was just conversing with. The first of the 'lowbloods.'

Yes, her 'name' was Taurus Nepeta Leijon- actually wait. The quote marks were because the preceeding title was not technically part of her name. Why would the signs be? They completely violate the 6/6 rule. Well, 'Taurus' is six letters, but still. Troll names go 6/6. Not 6/6/6.

Anyway. Sorry for the excessive correction.

She was standing in a farm. Dressed in bronze overalls and the usual black sign shirt - you know what they all have black sign shirts unless otherwise noted. For the sake of avoiding redundancy. She was also wearing a watch. That right there was a sentence that is almost never untrue. Despite not being a Time player, it's a thing of hers. Okay?

It was a tiny farm, but still one nonetheless. Not counting her hive, it was mostly just a wooden fence with three small animals in it.

Taurus had a firm sort of spare/kill/raise system in mind, putting it simply.

We don't really have the time to put it not-simply. Especially not when she looked to the skies and saw something looming above.

Sadly, she was unable to afford a telescope to see just what that was. It was definitely approaching Alternia, just not her exact hive. It was aimed at... something in the distance.

Another meteor? Like what Libra just told her about? That would be bad. But honestly, all Taurus could do was hope that that thing wasn't going to fall on any friends. And that they were okay... it seemed too far away to actually-

Ah. Lasers fired off in the distance, blowing it up. Whatever it was. (Spoiler it was indeed another meteor. And spoiler, our main goldblood of the story was the one who blew it up. More on her later.)

Taurus Nepeta began petting one of her more scared, cowardly moobeasts. She still had to keep herself full to survive, but she considered herself unique among the... what did those weird people call them? 'Ones?' In that she was slightly more hesitant than the others to outright consume. Basically, she won't eat things with a name. Which was difficult when she was the one giving them names before the kill.

Although if she were to just... ask some animals. Politely. To kill other animals. And then share the result. Yeah. That on the other hand is just nature. The kind of nature that shouldn't really - no, can't really - be stopped. It wasn't mind control, it was just light persuasion - no, Purrsuasion. Unless that was already taken? There should be some bluebloods with her whole 'One' shtick, there was a chance that she might have that name too. But whatever, it's not like you can copyright a pun, thankfully.

Still though, that meteor-explosion (not that she knew the specifics of that, even if you do) piqued her curiosity. Thankfully, with her commune - Purrsuasion - abilities, she had a number of choices for a mount to get there quickly.

Hrm...

Ah! The smallest in the pen! Yes!

Taurus wasn't being stupid, by the way. She actually had raced them before and found that the tiny little tiger-looking mount was the best.

Just, it was easy, get on that and go. Speed off towards...

Oh, the city.


So anyway, on her way to the city, Libra felt like checking on the other Nepetas...

Oh, like one in particular! The one that helped her out understanding some things about how this 'One' nonsense worked! And a few other things...

Libra had to sneak out to get around her 'fans' and crawl through the tree tops, but she made it to where Aries was gathered. Yep, a rust-blooded Nepeta clad in a... well in an unusually heavy outfit that looked like it was built for the snow. An overcoat, large and poofy, that went over most of her upper half and even down towards her legs, mostly covering her thick snow pants, and dropping down to her boots. Boots that had spikes on the bottoms, not that Libra coud see that at the moment. But she knew about the spikes. Libra watched her from afar.

Most notably, while Aries was hatless, she had a thick scarf matching her blood color wrapped around her face. There is a reason why that was given its own paragraph, that will be evident really soon.

"Hi!" Libra Nepeta said. "I'm going to the city, with Gemini! And um, we're going to play a game that sounds impurrtant in some way? But I need someone to play it? Want to be my other player?"

Aries Nepeta's eyes popped. She looked as if she had just received the most shocking news imaginable. Or had just gone in to some trance where she found out about the end of the world.

"Mrph mmh mpph ffmp mmrph!" The rustblood replied.

"Wait, I can't understand a word you're saying!

"I'm too far away! Let me get closer!"

She lept through the trees and landed right next to the other Nepeta.

"Yeah, okay, come again?"

"Ffrrmarm mmphr mmrp hrmph!" Said Aries.

To that, Libra replied with a nod. "Okay, got it."

She looked as though she was about to climb up a tree again and get back to her hive, BUT...

"Wait, how do you know all of this?"

"Mprmph mmph hmmph mm-hmp mmph rrmph mph rrmph! Mmr pphr phrm mm-hmph hm."

"Wow... that explained everything! So how do I wake up on this 'Derse?'"

Aries thought that over for a moment. And then she shrugged.

"Well shoot, Derse sounds like fun! You said there were a lot of fish out in the empty void? And that you could 'feel time' up there?"

Another shrug. "Mmmh dn nnw!"

"Oh! But what was that thing in the game? A Spirit?"

"Phfft."

"Sprite, yeah! Can the Sprite tell me how to wake up when we start playing?"

"Mmphs."

"Oh, Sprites? So, there's more than one Sprite?"

That time, Aries just nodded.

"Okay, so you know a lot about the game even though it doesn't exist..." Libra asked. "I think you should also go with me to see Gemini!"

"Ffmm hmm mph hmph..." Aries nodded, eyes closed. "Mm fphth! Mmph mm ffthmm hrmph!"

"Ah! You could be the client!"

She just shook her head.

"...Why can't you be my client?"

Libra could hear Aries sigh through the fabric.

"Mmph hmm hmm mhr mmrph mmf hmmph mmph mmph hrm rrrmm mmph mph mrhm ffrm-"

"That makes sense. I thought we could play together though..."

She paused for a moment, then unwrapped the scarf around her face. And continued, loud and clearly:

"お願いします。 私たちは皆これが必要です。"

Libra nodded. "I understand. Loud and clear."


Honk.

Honk honk.

Honk honk meow.

Meanwhile, Capricorn Nepeta Leijon would have no idea what was about to happen. Wearing a waterproof outfit (with cheeky polka dot spots and big poofy water shorts) and a giant pair of sunglasses.

The first floor of her hive was partly flooded.

As usual. A waist-high film of water went through the structure, and she lied on her back to slowly navigate through it. That only backfired by having her drift out to the middle of the ocean nine times. Not ten though, just nine.

And then she got a Trollian notification.

- acetoneAlley [AA] began trolling tabbyCute [TC] -
AA: :0 hell0!
TC: B4 hi str4nger!
TC: B4 oh w4it
TC: B4 i w4snt supposed to talk to str4ngers
TC: B4 sorry
- tabbyCute [TC] forcefully ended the conversation with acetoneAlley [AA] -
- creativeTibia [CT] re-opened a conversation between tabbyCute [TC] and acetoneAlley [AA] -
CT: :% uh hi!
CT: :% i may not be the best coder around here but i think i got something here! a window you cant close!
CT: :% capricorn i think this is impurrtant so fleas listen to what my red self has to say
TC: B( no shes 4 str4nger!
AA: :0 capric0rn!
TC: B( how do you know my n4me?
TC: B( no i dont like wh4ts going on here! m4ke it STOP!
AA: :0 uh calm d0wn
AA: :0 0h wait
AA: :0 y0ure THAT nepeta right?
TC: B( 4nd you know my N$ME too?!
TC: B( *N4ME
TC: B( w4it if NEPET$ is my n4me then c4pricorn is my sign...
TC: B( you know my n4me 4nd my SIGN i me4nt to s4y i dont w4nt to do this 4nymore...
AA: :0 i kn0w y0u d0nt and i kn0w ab0ut what happens if you get
AA: :0 uh
AA: :0 if y0u "freak 0ut."
AA: :0 s0 stay calm
TC: B4 ok4y. c4lm
AA: :0 ...what is y0ur em0te even supp0sed t0 be?
TC: B4 oh
TC: B4 well the "B" is my lusus' sungl4sses 3nd mine too?
TC: B4 *4nd
TC: B4 the 4-sh4ped mouth uh...
TC: B4 ...
TC: B( i forgot
TC: B4 its NOT mine
TC: B4 its my lususeses
TC: B4 my lusus looks weird but i h4vent seen her in sweeps so i forgot HOW weird
TC: B(
AA: :0 n0 i understand t00
AA: :0 my lusus is dead s0 i d0nt see her that much either
TC: B( awwww
TC: B( *i me4n 4wwww
AA: :0 0h d0nt pity me!
AA: :0 theres n0 need t0 stay in the past!
AA: :0 lets l00k f0rward t0 the future!
AA: :0 ...0h wait
AA: :0 we d0nt really HAVE a future
AA: :0 00ps!
AA: :0 i mean, WE d0, but the tr0ll empire d0es n0t
AA: :0 we will if y0u play this game
TC: B4 sure! i DO love g4mes!
TC: BD s4ving the g4l4xy sounds like 4 fun bonus!
AA: :0 0h n0 its n0t saving the galaxy. just us
TC: B4 4h
TC: BD oh well fun g4me so wh4tever
AA: :0 w0w! y0u sure are taking this "all 0f the 0ther tr0lls are g0ing t0 die" thing pretty well!
TC: B4 well i me4n we 4ll 4re 4rent we?
TC: B4 even the empress?
AA: :0 fair
AA: :0 als0 the empress is DEFINITELY g0ing t0 die
TC: B4 how do you know this stuff?
AA: :0 i can talk t0 the dead!
TC: B4 ok4y
AA: :0 thats all y0u have t0 say ab0ut that?
TC: B4 ye4h
TC: B4 so uh c4n i drop this now? your 'CT' friend roped me in to this 4nd i dont like it
AA: :0 ...
AA: :0 sure?
AA: :0 i d0nt kn0w h0w uncl0sable wind0ws are even a thing
TC: B4 oh ye4h i think you h4ve to close it
AA: :0 lemme try
- acetoneAlley [AA] ceased trolling tabbyCute [TC] -

Okay.

So Capricorn went back to lying down on the surface of the water.

Aaaaand speaking of the water, one of those sea-dwellers prodded her in the side. One of the ones ('Ones,' right) that looked like her.

Aquarius Nepeta Leijon.

Who sighed at her.

Aquarius was even more prepared for the sea. Sort of. It was kind of an embarrassing thing, but she had several spare packs of floating rings and life vests and the like in her sylladex, they were hard to find so she had to make them herself. She could do very well for herself on land, but at sea... yeah, no. Oh yeah and she had floating rings around her arms. But tried her hardest to not get anybody to pay attention to them. She had on what was basically a wetsuit with her sign, with gray pants and a small violet life jacket on over them.

"I'm sorry about this, Capricorn, but-" She began.

Capricorn had a mild freakout.

Mild by her standards.

"Whoo-za WHAAAAT?!"

"Uh, hi. It's me. Aquarius."

"Oh... is Pieces here now?"

A sigh from her. "Of course not. But that's a good thing. Look, listen. You know how there are more of us?"

"Yes! The Ones! Have they finally gathered? Has the Unity of all Castes begun?"

"...Yes and no? We are playing a little something, but we won't all meet up together until after we're off Alternia."

"So we're going to space?"

Aquarius thought that over. "That's another 'yes and no.' It's not outer space, like in star systems, it's... this other dimension?"

Those last two words absolutely blew Capricorn Nepeta Leijon away.

"I knew it!" She cheered.

"W-wait! Just so that we're on the same wavelength!"

"That's not a cat pun or a real water pun."

Eh, Capricorn made a point, but...

Nah. Fuck her.

"Yes it is." Aquarius bluntly replied. "Anyway, get ready. You should have the code sent to you soon. If you don't have it right meow!"

"Okay, that is a cat pun-"

"And you'll have to talk to strangers!"

Oh no.

Aquarius replied as though Capricorn already protested. Woah, no way man, was she a mind-reader? "Yes you do!" Yeah, that sounded like a way a mind-reader would reply.

By the way, no, this doesn't mean Aquarius is a Hero of Mind. Yes, I'm familiar with the Extended Zodiac, she's still a Hero of Hope. Those were just Capricorn's thoughts, and Capcricorn Nepeta was not omniscient. Far from it.

"But... what..."

"You're probably the strongest of us. I think?" Aquarius said. "I mean, you're stronger than me. Pieces is a lot scarrier, but you're more powerful. And everybody else can be kept enslaved by your... 'cuckdoodle' power?"

"It's not 'cuckdoodle,' it's chu- um... choo- ...hrm. Maybe it is cuckdoodle... but no, I haven't used it. I don't want to use it. I was schoolfed that I could give people nightmares, but I just find myself having nightmares instead..."

"Do you use the sopor slime?"

"Do you?"

"Uh... no, you answer first!"

"Okay, fine! I don't! It's... I've heard bad things about the slime, though..."

"Like what?"

"That it's made out of dead trolls or something? Uh- I- ...we can probably talk this later on a day not as spiritual as us all leaving this dimension, ya dig?"

"Forget it. I'm going back to the sea."

"I thought you don't go in the water... weren't you, um, more... hesitant to do that?"

"I meant the beach, whatever. Away from you."

Not to try to side with Aquarius' abrupt leave like that, but we're also going away from her for a moment.

Anyway, Aquarius and Capricorn were practically neighbors, even though neither of them wanted to be. The former's hive was just a slight bit out from the latter's beach... yeah, up on a cliff. High on a cliff.

It was incredibly windy there. Which was good - Capricorn was always afraid of getting blown off, despite possibly being one of the heavier Nepetas. (It wasn't necessarily a diet thing - Purplebloods are just... members of other castes would swear that they had some kind of natural metal in them or something.) So, Aquarius did not have to worry about being followed by her walking-distance-neighbor.


Peace and quiet.

Cool.

But...

Aquarius looked at her own, personal shipping wall- oh yeah all Nepetas have shipping walls, should have mentioned that earlier.

Or, what it would have been. There were just a small handful of trolls that that particular Nepeta kinda knew.

The problem with everybody basically being the same person, same name and all, is that shipping is a very bizarre psychological nightmare. Like, what even is shipping oneself with oneself? Isn't that just having a huge ego?

Well, anyway, there was one clear and definitive exception to all of that: that anonblood boy. The super-adorable one that apparently likes romantic comedies?

Then again that anonboy was an asshole. Aquarius couldn't think of anybody to ship him with. So, there he was, in a big, blank section of the wall. Nobody around him...

And yeah, nobody around Aquarius herself in her diagrams...

Shoot. She looked around. Which was not an act of paranoia, having been caught by her mildly capricious neighbor more than once. Once the coast was clear... yes... get some gray and violet paint and just start to draw her near the-

BING!

Aqaurius Nepeta actually shrieked out loud. The hemospectrum wasn't ingrained in her think pan, but she did know one thing: the trolls that could breathe underwater were the highest, second only to those other, much rarer, trolls that could also breathe underwater. Whoever hid their blood color like that, well... was probably not that high up. He definitely did not have fins, at least. Well, Aquarius never really got to study his face up close. But either way, an anonblood and a seadweller? That's probably bad.

Forbidden, even.

Which makes it that much sweeter.

But again he was an asshole!

Oh, right. Her computer. The actual source of that noise. She was getting sidetracked. Again.

- gardensApple [GA] began trolling catlypsosAllure [CA] -
GA: :6= hello!
CA: :9 uh. right. hi!
GA: :6= heeeeeey have you heard about the, "game?"
CA: :9 yeah
CA: :9 i told capricorn about it!
GA: :6= good!
GA: :6= so it sounds like my "jo6" is done-
GA: :6= wait hang on a, minute
GA: :6= whats with your face?
CA: :9 aroo?
GA: :6= your lusus face
GA: :6= i mean youre a nepeta right?
CA: :9 purrity sure i am!
GA: :6= you type like one! one of those "Ones" they say?
GA: :6= well, i think, youre one of us, so you put your lusus' face at the 6eginning of your messages?
CA: :9 uh yeah
CA: :9 man i kind of HATE meeting other Ones at first its so creepy how much they know about me!
CA: :9 theres nothing really "natural" about it and the 9uestions i get asked are just "hey i do this thing, do you do that too?"
CA: :9 and i have to answer "yes" and
CA: :9 ACK! A9? i know "aq" isn't a thing people type, but "q" is such a rare letter and i wanna use my 9uirk with more words than just "9uestion" and "9uirk" yuck
CA: :9 ("yu9?" no thats stupid)
CA: :9 but yes. i have a lusus with a funny face
CA: :9 just get it out of your system now UwU
GA: :6= no i dont, really want to do that
GA: :6= it comes off as sounding too "mean"
CA: :9 so i guess your lusus has fangs or somefin?
GA: :6= good guess!
GA: :6= oh and speaking of "g," make your quirk involve that too its a more common, letter
CA: :9 9reat idea!
CA: :9 i just started now!
GA: :6= i. see
CA: :9 should i still switch "q?"
GA: :6= why not?
CA: :9 beclaws - shoot thats not a water pun - its a double-substitute thats not really...
CA: :9 "thematically appropriate?"
GA: :6= huh?
CA: :9 i mean why do us "Ones" switch letters with numbers like this?
GA: :6= its, "lusii faces"
CA: :9 but dont all of us have different digits?
GA: :6= yeah its, weird
GA: :6= like theres some kind of destiny involved
GA: :6= ...
GA: :6= do you 6elieve in destiny?
CA: :9 haha YEAH where do i even be99in?
GA: :6= um "6egin" is spelled with one "g"
CA: :9 that was a "be99ing" pun sorry it wasnt clear

This conversation went on for a while.

The jist of it was this: GA (who we already know is Virgo Nepeta but let's pretend we don't) and Aquarius both knew about the game. They spoke a bit about it, and long story short, they both had 'insider information' so nothing new was actually discussed over. They just talked quirks, mainly. But yeah they were getting it downloaded pretty soon. Together. Sort of. And they, too, were going to head over to Gemini for it.


So that seemed like a good-enough reason to transition to Gemini - don't worry. Virgo will come soon. Not too soon, though, we've got someone pretty bad first.

Anyway, at the moment, her name was Gemini Nepeta Leijon, and her hive system was empty at the moment - with just her - but that would change in about a few hours.

She had a red eye and a blue eye. Not that unusual among the Gold Caste. Well- no. I'm getting ahead of myself. She also had a series of colorful (specifically, red and blue) bands around her fingers. She also had goggles. They didn't serve any actual purpose, they just looked cute and cool. Also, a rough and heavy shirts. No jacket though - she knew that the other Nepetas were fond of the coats, and did not want to be a little... repetitive.

Anyway, Gemini's stuff was rather uneventful. She heard the voices of the dead and doomed, and since the 'doomed' were included that went in to overdrive what with some kind of incoming meteor apocalypse. But, whatever. She could handle that!

So, since shipping walls were brought up last time, they will again here too. Gemini was unique among the main Nepetas. She exclusively used red and... well, blue or indigo paint, she couldn't really decide which one matched her other eye more and had slathers of both colors. To represent one color. But anyway:

There wasn't really that much pattern to what was red or blue except that she wanted equal amounts of each color, so whichever color there was no much of, she painted with that on that given day. There was one exception: she'd use the blood of purple-blooded fauna (or, more often, just mixing red and blue) to make serious diagrams, relating to visions mostly. She called that 'purple serious.' And she was fixated on the one in particular showing- yeah to be blunt it was just showing a bunch of meteors hitting Alternia.

Gemini put a hand on her chin as she stared at that one. Soon.

Oh. Then she got trolled:

- catfishCutter [CC] began trolling twofuroldAilment [TA] -
CC: :I Im goIng to be late
CC: :I dont lock me out
TA: :22 um what2 that?
TA: :22 hold on i dont think i know who you are
CC: :I meh fuck you
CC: :I agaIn Im comIng over
CC: :I be prepared
CC: :I or else
- catfishCullet [CC] began trolling twofuroldAilment [TA] -

Oh that did not seem pleasant.


And no, that aformentioned Nepeta was not pleasant, putting it nicely.

She-

Sigh.

Alright. I've been purposefully putting off her introduction for a while, but I guess now's finally a good time to get her out of the way.

Her name was Pisces Nepeta Leijon. She was in her hive at the bottom of the ocean, a place few dared to swim by - mostly because of her. And for several good reasons.

She bore the cape of the Heiress. Well, it was sort of a thing introduced recently. From the last generation. That cape was really fucking long, putting it bluntly - it went down and around and everywhere and out her hive door. Pisces wasn't sure where it ended. She just kind of found it in a sunken treasure chest and... well, took the whole chest to her hive and whatnot. The cape itself was golden with a bright, iron-red underside. As for what was under the cape, Pisces had a fairly controversial and poorly-equipped one-piece swimsuit, bearing her namesake sign on it.

She had exactly one scar on her cheek close to her fin. What happened to the cause of that scar was the reason why, as of the start of this story, nobody else has dared to even try giving her another injury again.

Anyway. Her arms, legs, and head were adorned with gold and fuchsia jewelery. That glimmered and shone a lot. To almost blinding levels. That earned her the nickname of 'the Flash of the Depths:' you see that flash, you die.

Also her royal hive was loaded with corpses.

I don't want to spend too much time on this asshole, but thankfully, I do not really have to! This took place right after the conversation above, and as she advertized, she was on her way. So, she swam out of her window, and make a break towards the surface.


Let's go from the sea to the sand.

Deserts in Alternia were awful.

Granted, every biome in that planet was, but deserts in particular were tough on the skin. The already-scorching sun was out in the open with no coverage. The sands gave rise to all kinds of horrors adapted to live in what had been, in the early troll years, rather deathly worlds to inhabit. And trolls unfortunately had not had as much in the way of evolution.

Also the seadwellers fucking hated those places, for obvious reasons, and they're... kind of the ones in charge (well okay, in some ways it's the Purplebloods that kept things "lead," but they were all semi-aquatic and everything), so the trolls there had absolutely zero support for them. Just - this obviously had nothing to do with the Alternian Sun, but there was a good reason as to why desert planets were relatively treated lightly by the troll invasion.

Relatively.

Anyway, her name was Virgo Nepeta Leijon, and the desert was a pleasant home for her. The sun actually felt quite good on her, and she had a nice, helpful 'guide' to get through all the trickier parts.

Yep! In addition to a super-cool desert fortress with built-in traps for getting game surrounded by an adorable garden, Virgo had a Guide to the desert! He was-

"RAAARRGH!"

Pisces suddenly burst in to her hive, completely unscathed from the traps set up, with her glimmering, golden claws that could slice vacuums in to air.

Ah, right, time to describe what Virgo actually looked like. For some reason she had kinda been part of some weird stereotyping of liking fashion... but, no? She wasn't sure why everyone assumed she was more colorful than the average Nepeta. In fact, if anything, she was less chromatic, with her desert-adventuring pants being a dull gray and her short-sleaved shirt of course being black, the only color on her was her jade sign. Oh, and her sandals were gray too. As was most of her hive. Not even in the usual 'cool militant alien' style as the rest of the trolls, just... a lot more dull and drab.

Also her hive had a lot of torture devices. Why? She actually had no idea. Pisces would try to, and in some cases successfully, steal those. She on the other hand knew why, but Virgo did not want to ask.

Anyway, Virgo got in the defensive. Her skin paled, her eyes turned yellow, and blinding light came from her. She took out her significantly less-sharp claws.

"PINK NEPETA!" Shouted Virgo.

"Come on, you know the rules, be more specific!"

"Fine, Pisces! How did you get here without burning?!"

The two Nepetas both faced each other in the same stance. "I had a shield protecting me against the sun! And anyway, I missed my catnap! So I'm pissed! But I did it fur a good reason! We're playing a game!"

"And you broke in to my hive to tell me this?!"

"Well, yes! Because I NEED you to play the game! I- look! This game will create a new universe!"

"Really?"

"Yes, no time to explain! Your Sprite will do all of that! Anyway, I want a new universe! And I want to RULE that universe over!"

Pisces turned around - at least she was no longer facing Virgo, but still she held her golden claws up and proudly, laughing. "I have been told I deserve to be on the top! And I don't see how that's not true! So I should!"

"...Everyone is gathered by the Gemini Nepeta's hive." Said Virgo. "Maybe we should go there?"

"Hah, yeah-"

"By 'we' I mean seperately. Too. I think. We shouldn't travel together. It's not very. Safe. Me being around someone scary like you."


"People, people, PLEASE!" Gemini Nepeta shouted at the crowd.

By that point, everyone except Scorpio, Sagittarius, and the Nepetas that were not introduced was there. And they were causing a huge amount of noise. Well, it was mostly Pisces starting it, the rest of the noise came from everybody else trying to get her to settle down. So Gemini was really just adding on to it.

"Everyone! I!" She continued. "If you could just! Well... I..."

Oh, screw it.

She opened her window and fired a pair of massive lasers from her eyes, making everybody tense and freeze up.

She then turned back to them, sighing, exhausted.

"Please. Keep it down. I don't want to do that again..."

"Was that really necessary?!" Asked Pisces.

"Yes! Yes it is! Please! Okay, look:

"The game is soemthing called 'Sgrub,' it-"

You should already know about this. Standard Homestuck fare, and I am strongly against a fanwork going over something that's a basic part of the canon. Anyway.

Sagittarius' castle-home crashed in to the city apartment, throwing all the Nepetas in there backwards. Tilting the entire building.

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!" Screamed Pisces. "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW! THIS HIVE HAS THE HEIRESS IN IT! IT'S NOT JUST SOME LOWBLOOD GATHERING, HEATHEN!"

She marched out to that same window that the... 'host of the party' had just shot some lasers out of. Oh, and she noticed that there were burn marks on the building from those same lasers. Sagittarius was on the platform, then she lept off and in through that same window yet again. Raising eyebrows all across the hemospectrum, she was holding that one weird anonblood who swore he was not part of the cult in both her hands. Said anonblood looked very uncomfortable. Almost to the point where he looked like he'd blush, and give away whatever blood color he had.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Pisces asked. "Are you really going to bring one of the cultists to the new universe with us?!"

"I AM NOT A FUCKING CULTIST!" The anonblood shouted in a strange, mixed voice, instantly wrestling himself from the arms of his indigo future-coplayer. "I'LL TELL YOU ONCE WE'RE OFF THIS GODFORSAKEN PLANET! SO! My name is Karkat." His eyes scanned the room, slowly, right to left. "And let me guess, your name is Nepeta, your name is also Nepeta, and your name is also Nepeta."

"That's Heiress to you, mister." Said Pisces. "And future God-Empress of the Universe. And yes, I know you were trying to be a smartass. I just don't care."

Karkat appeared to have been doing a mental tally, ignoring her. "You're missing one."

"Oh yeah," said Sagittarius, "Scorpio! She said she didn't want to join."

Karkat sighed. "Well, fine! This is meant to be played in seperate hives, anyway!"

"Then why did you bring us all together like this?" Aquarius Nepeta asked.

"I did NOT! YOU all had the bright idea! L-look! Most of you know this already so I'm not going to repeat myself! But the nine of you, and Scorpio Nepeta, and me, and a friend of mine are going to play this game together, and..."

Pisces stepped forward, gold claws out and ready. "You're bringing ANOTHER non-Nepeta with us?!"

"NO!" And I will say right now that that was not a lie. The following however was: "It's someone I know personally! I trust her!"

"Your voice sounds weird. Why does it sound weird?"

"Forget it. Just follow the instructions, and you won't become part of the ass-end of some cosmic rocks of 'This world's expired! Time to pack your bags and go straight to hell!'"


It took a while, but things got sorted out and everyone returned to their original hives. The hardest part was the player order. Which, for some reason, was important.

Anyway. Libra was assigned to Karkat's mysterious 'friend.' That she couldn't see.

But speaking of him, something about that 'Karkat' seemed familiar to Libra. Very off.

She tried to pay that no attention as everything was set up and she was guiding... some random cave?

Libra could barely see inside of it, even with Sgrub's tools. Wasn't the camera supposed to be based on what the server could see, not the client? No, that could be backwards... but still, either way, Libra felt it was only right that she should be able to see what she was doing.

Well whatever. Stuff was set up. A mysterious gray, flashing orb popped out of one of the machines. Libra honestly wasn't paying too much attention to the screen or much of anything; the whole game happened in a blur. Soon, she ended up having things dropped in her hive, clear out of nowhere. And she was being messaged by her... 'player?' Something? Someone, she didn't know who. The message was just this, typed in gray:

- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling gorgeousCat-acombs [GC] -
AC: :33 okay thanks!
GC: :7 who is 7his?
AC: :33 just call me a furrend!
GC: :7 are you ano7her nepe7a?
AC: :33 well
AC: :33 yes

Anyway. Something needed to be thrown in to that machine or something? Wait- wait. It didn't matter. It looked like somebody was in the cave, and was going around tossing random stuff. Including something that landed in the flashing sphere.

A... doll? A tiny doll. It looked creepy, having the token button-eyes and mouth that looked like it was sewn shut.

Libra saw that over the camera and shuddered. "AC" ceased speaking, no matter what else she trolled her with. So... the other strange person... the less-strange one.

GC: :7 who is 7his fur again...?
CG: A "FRIEND."
CG: SOMEONE WHO TOLD ME ABOUT THE END OF THE TROLL RACE.
GC: :7 how does 7his save 7he 7roll race bu7 no7 going to space?
CG: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
CG: A BLOATED ELDRITCH BEHEMOTH IS GOING TO WIPE OUT EVERY TROLL IN THE GALAXY.
GC: :7 can we call i7 a "beb" for shor7?
CG: OH SURE. WHY NOT.
CG: ATTENTION ALL TROLLS, A BEB IS GOING TO GLUB LOUD ENOUGH TO KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU.
CG: UNLESS YOU HAVE FINS AND LIVE IN THE DEEP ON THE LINE TO THE ROYAL THRONE, YOU DIE.
CG: AND THEN WHAT?
CG: WHO DO YOU RULE WHEN YOU SURVIVE?
GC: :7 yourself?
CG: HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK.
GC: :7 well jus7 do wha7 you do by yourself 7he en7ire 7ime?
CG: WE'RE TRYING TO GET YOUR ASSES OUT IN DEEP GAMESPACE SO THAT YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT.
GC: :7 sounds fair 7o me!

Lots of flashing followed on her screen and the 'opening' part of the cave system was sent somewhere else? Basically the game teleports people to some alien planet, that was what she got out of that.

Alright, Libra Nepeta was next to enter this confusing 'Medium...' thing!

Okay, so prototype something. That should be easy. She had all of these books on law, and apparently the flashing ball turns in to a ghost guide that helps one out, so... throwing in a lawbook might make something that could really help give them information about the game.

For some bizarre reason, as Libra would find out later, all of the known Nepeta entry items were the exact same thing. They looked like colored orbs made out of what looked like crystal. Entering was cut-and-dry; just break the item by hitting it hard against something.

Anyway, the other Nepetas followed in suit. Before any of them were even in remote danger of being struck by meteors.

They were, unsurprisingly to anybody familiar with the source material, transported to different miniature planets.

Libra's was called the Land of Suds and Flow. A pleasant-looking location, one that embodied relaxation and health. Pools of bubbling, hot spring water, surrounded by cliffs made out of bar soap. The air... well, higher up it was okay, but it reeked of cleaning chemicals down below. Seemed that a gas mask might as well be required for it. Fuck.

Capricorn Nepeta landed in the Land of Paint and Mirth. A world of wonderful, wonderful color and miracles. Giant paintbrushes stuck out from the ground.

Sagittarius's place was annoyingly soaked. Land of Sea and Silence. Flooded beyond belief. It was pretty much nothing but water, aside from gigantic geysers spewing out everywhere. Was this made for one of the... uh, seadwellers they were called, or something?

Aries was next. The Land of Hell and Heaven, a place of both burning lakes of lava and giant spikes of glimmering ice, somehow co-existing.

That mysterious anonblood 'Karkat' meanwhile was deep in some kind of surreal hell. The Land of Evergreens and Milk. The smell of 'pine' (as that would be the type of tree mostly populating the place, sort of) was so overwhelming it could make noses bleed. Which was the last thing that Karkat wanted. There was also another, far worse aspect of it that would be seen by the gang later on. Annoyingly oversexualized statues and the like, plenty dealing with fertility. That was usually a Space Player thing, but whatever.

Then was Taurus Nepeta's Land. Land of Iron and Sand. A nice, pleasant-looking field with canyons criss-crossing. Wind blowed in across the surface of the massive scars in the land, and all around the various metal decorations popped up.

Scorpio's was nice on the ears. The Land of Hymns and Praise. Tons of musical instruments, sticking up and around. Faint tunes heard everywhere - conveniently not by her hive, so she could get some quiet without going in to LOSAS.

Hrm, Virgo Nepeta's in question was a bit weird. Land of Clouds and Frogs. Despite not being a Breath player, she found her Land being assaulted with giant tornados. 'Clouds' was a huge understatement. Oh yeah, and there were frogs. Just riding along the breeze.

Alright, Aquarius'! It sucked too. Land of Plague and Wrath. Toxic clouds and liquid everywhere, looking like they were oozing out from various 'church'-like settings. And yet despite having a church-esque look, there were thankfully no angels. Aquarius Nepeta wasn't sure why that was worth mentioning. But it was. Just... emptyness. And sickness, too. Loads of sick consorts.

Pisces on the other hand got an awesome planet! The Land of Flesh and Glass! A grotesque mixture of meat and... pretty looking glass. Lots of horrible monsters she can practice her ruling skills on! Her skills ruling the new universe as a god!

And finally, Gemini. The Land of Volt and Skulls. Giant skulls sticking from 'electric pools' of either electrified water or... some kind of 'liquid electricity?' Nah, that's stupid. It was just some stuff that broke up all the bones and whatnot. Gemini got used to that Land pretty quickly.

Karkat flexed his arms and gave his endless forest dotted with tasteless statues a look.

And then he got messaged:

- corruptedGene [CG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG2] -
CG: :5 LEO!
CG2: :33 shhh! its still not safe!
CG: :5 alternia i5 gone! it 5hould be!
CG: :5 go ahead and tell them!
CG2: :33 but the cultists!
CG: :5 dead
CG2: :33 um are you sure?
CG: :5 purretty 5ure... hope they are...
CG: :5 the glub caught everyone but the conde5ce.
CG: :5 and 5he i5nt a cultist
CG: :5 i think
CG: :5 even if 5he wa5 it5 not like 5he can ju5t crawl in to the new univer5e or anything
CG2: :33 why are you so optimistic?
CG2: :33 its a little cr33py
CG: :5 beclaw5
CG: :5 im finally furree
CG2: :33 ?
CG: :5 oh come on
CG: :5 alternia i5nt all moonlight and warm rain you know
CG: :5 i could get culled for my blood color! it5... bad 5omehow? for a dumb rea5on!
CG: :5 but now i wont here!
CG: :5 i wont! i can finally be me!
CG2: :33 but you told me you probably would get culled anyway
CG2: :33 "The Empress S33s All" after all
CG: :5 5hould it be "the empress 5ea5 all?"
CG: :5 5orry i mean "seas"
CG2: :33 we can talk about puns later right now we have to go on before...
CG2: :33 or befur...
CG: :5 the reckoning, leo
CG2: :33 why did you troll my karkat handle?
CG: :5 ...
CG: :5 i dont know
CG: :5 to pretend im talking to another lime-cla55 nepeta that doe5nt actually have, you know, lime blood
CG: :5 i feel a bit lonely and ill still feel lonely even after getting the other can- nepeta5 in here
CG2: :33 oh yeah
CG: :S
- corruptedGene [CG] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG2] -

'Karkat' sighed-

Yeah that wasn't Karkat, might as well just get the obvious out of the way at this point.

The wig came off. The coat was thrown on over the cancer shirt. The shirt that was a flat-out lie.

Her name was Leo Nepeta Leijon.

What she looked like needs no explanation. It's as plain as day in the original comic.

And she had a feeling she was about to experience levels of 'self-hating' rivaling that of the boy in the Dreambubbles she saw.


Aries Translations: (There's just one this chapter)

"Please. We all need this."


Closing AN:

I feel really like "Not a true fan who really gets this story" after writing "Karkat," the intent was supposed to come off that Nepeta-as-Karkat was written as like a fan trying to poorly immitate him while only understanding some basic things about his character. I hope I didn't turn anybody off who thought that was supposed to be how I'd actually write Karkat.

I'm still not entirely "finished" with this "remake," mostly I want to describe what the Nepetas actually look like (aside from the, like, two I did) and maybe fix a few things up. Oh, I only described one prototyping. That's gotta change.

Anyway I really hated the old version, it was weird and badly written (and on top of that it became outdated with the reveal of the Extended Zodiac), so... I "rushed" this or went "As long as this chapter's complete enough, I'll publish it" just to kind of "push" the old version out of the way. This is still far from perfect but at least I got it out. Again, the old version will be posted offsite somewhere once I figure out where and how.

This is going on hiatus until we get information on exactly what the lime caste is capable of doing. (Tweaks to this chapter do not count, I've even done one already but I might put this on hold.) I've said this before on other stories (including the old version of this one I think?) only to update them anyway, but this time I mean it for real. If that's casually dropped in a Tweet tomorrow, then this leaves hiatus. If it takes until Hauntswitch Act 4, then oh well, whenever that comes out or if it even does come out, it will take that long before the hiatus ends. If... hoo boy, the What Pumpkin drama gets bad enough that the whole Homestuck franchise pretty much gets canned and we never get a concrete reveal on the lime powers (or if it was something that Hussie just never intended to reveal in the first place), then I guess this story will die right on this chapter. In the event of the latter, I consider this to be part of a "trilogy" that includes Run: .GIFocalypse and the upcoming Zenith Nymph's Adventures, well it wouldn't be considered part of the "trilogy" with those two any more if it's doomed to not be continued, instead I'll make something else up. (To be honest a long time ago a weird Binding of Isaac one was planned but I couldn't come up with anything for the story - that's a general problem with my writing, I have a base premise that I like but I can't find any way the story to go, and I hate redoing canon's plotlines.)

But all three of these stories (four counting the scenario that this gets "replaced") have the main thing in common in that they involve a lot of color-variation OCs of what was once a minor character, with a varrying degree of an "elemental theme" to them. (I'm not sure which one between .GIFocalypse and ZNA the elemental theme is the "strongest," but I will tell you right now that this is definitely the weakest, like it's 90% just in the Lands and everything.) Although the context of these rainbows is different: the .GIFfany Army are seperate copies, the Nepetas... I'm keeping that a secret, and the Nymphs, well, they're not clones or anything, they're just different groups of the same overall species, but there's a bunch of newly-made ones categorized by color, so I still consider that in the same spirit. I'd also like to say that this, .GIFocalypse, and ZNA all have a "Fictionpress counterpart" to some extent, but... well, I'd be giving away spoilers if I directly said "This has a lot in common with that story." Especially the counterpart to this one. I'll tell you right now that of the "trilogy" it's easily the heaviest of the three and has the most serious plot, despite looking like it's the biggest shitpost out of them at a glance. I mean, that's kind of what I was trying to get at with the ending, I believe it will be the biggest plot twist of the first chapters of the three.

Anyway, with this finally out of the way, I'll either go back to Fixing a Pipe... or I'll start on A n' Z. I'm... not sure which one I want to do. I think I might have promissed A n' Z and I'd have to get the first chapter of that out of the way before I return to Fixing a Pipe... but... meh. EDIT: Fixing a Pipe for sure. I tried a little of both, starting with A n' Z, and... yeah, no. Sorry if I made any promisses otherwise. But in addition to FaP (god I swear it having that acronym was unintentional, and it took me months until I realized what I made) I'd seriously rather finish stories I started on on average than start up new things, even if those new things are, for once, meant to be short.

Homestuck is created by Andrew Hussie, property of What Pumpkin and VIZ Media I think. Troubled Cosmos is Hussie's public domain characters and may be used by anyone, anywhere. It's glorious.

CHANGES DONE: Made quick descriptions for the Nepetas that didn't have them. If memory serves, this was everybody except Aries and Pisces. Capricorn had a small description in the older update, but I expanded on it. And yes, the description of Leo was also added in that edit too. Also, I fixed some mistakes, namely Cancer's quirk breaking a lot. (I'm trying to use the same rule Hussie used where typoes on Pesterlogs are unchanged, but... that was a lot of quirk breaks, and it's kinda important to establish a character's quirk in her first conversation.)