This was an idea I had while reading some old Chuck Norris facts. What if I changed the Chuck facts into RWBY facts? And then this happened.
I do not own RWBY. It is the official property of Rooster Teeth.
1. Mercury Black can do a round house kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you'll be dead before the light bulb even turns on.
2. Fear of small spaces is called Claustrophobia. Fear of spiders is called Arachnophobia. Fear of Yang is called Logic.
3. There is no control key on Cinder's keyboard. Cuz she's always in control.
4. That's not Coco doing pushups. That's her pushing Remnant out of the path of a deadly asteroid.
5. Yang once fired a flare that killed 100 Beowolves. The flare round exploded, killing 50 more.
6. A cop once pulled Yang over. The cop left with a warning:
This vehicle is protected by Yang Xiao Long. Touch it, or her hair, and you will receive punch after punch. The noise you might hear is not a siren. It is the sound of Yang's Gauntlets, 'Law and Order' entering Complete Annihilation Mode.
7. Ruby Rose will never have a heart attack. Her heart won't attack somebody as innocent (and friggin deadly) as her.
8. Nora once got into a knife fight. The knife lost.
9. Yang recently purchased a bear carpet. The bear ain't dead. It's too afraid to move.
10. Michael Jackson did the Moonwalk on Earth. Jaune did the Remnantwalk on the Moon.
11. When Professor Port does a push up, he isn't pushing himself up, he's pushing Remnant down.
12. Ozpin doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
13. Outer space exists because it is too afraid to be on the same planet with people like Yang and Coco on it.
14. Every time Glynda has a staring contest with the Sun, a solar eclipse happens.
15. Jaune once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat, while standing under a ladder on Friday the Thirteenth. The next day, he won a round in the Vytal Festival.
16. Weiss can make onions cry.