Tony Stark groaned as JARVIS informed him Loki was back with another stray. He was getting sick of this.
After the battle, it was discovered that Loki was innocent, but he didn't want to go back to Asgard, and no amount of puppy dog faces from Thor would convince him otherwise. Therefore, Fury decided he would be living with Tony and the other Avengers in Avengers Tower.
Tony wasn't happy with this, and he was even LESS happy when he discovered Loki had a habit of bringing home stray animals. Over the past few weeks, Tony had made him take six kittens and four puppies to animal shelters. The only reason it hadn't been seven kittens was because Steve wanted a kitten too, so they had to keep one. Tony drew the line there, and had JARVIS keep an eye on Loki, who kept sneaking kittens into the tower.
Preparing to deal with Loki's puppy dog face- which, by the way, was more effective than Thor's and Steve's put together- Tony went to find Loki.
As it turned out, Loki found him, and before Tony could say anything, Loki said, "I found a stray that you will never be able to get rid of this time!"
"What kind of animal is it this time?" Tony sighed. "And please tell me it's not loose."
Loki looked down, and a human girl who looked to be about two looked up at them and smiled cutely. "Loki! You stole someone's kid?" Tony asked incredulously.
"Not at all," Loki said, offended. "I saw someone leaving a bundle on the steps of a building, and went to investigate. That is how I found her." He picked the little girl up and added, "Her name is Lila."
"And I suppose you want to keep her?" Tony asked dryly.
"She needs a family," Loki said reasonably.
Tony sighed. "Fine, but if we see Lost Child posters around, you have to give her back," he said.
"Fine," Loki said. He looked down at Lila, and looked slightly startled. "She has magic," he said.
"I thought she was human," Tony commented.
"There is a secret society of magic users worldwide who generally avoid normal humans," Loki said. "They are very secretive, and I would avoid the ones in the UK; they are all snobs, looking down on anyone who has no magic or does not have magical parents."
"So Lila is one of them?" Tony asked.
"Apparently," Loki replied. "The scar on her forehead concerns me though."
Tony looked, and saw a lightning-bolt-shaped scar on Lila's forehead. "That's not normal," he commented.
"It's a curse scar, and there's something inside of it," Loki said. "Something evil. I'll be back." He left, carrying Lila, and Tony sighed.
Steve came down about fifteen minutes later, and asked Tony, "Loki brought in another stray?"
"This one's a baby girl, so apparently we're keeping her," Tony said. "And apparently she's got magic."
"We're going to have a kid?" Steve asked.
"Apparently," Tony said. "Her name's Lila, according to Loki."
"That's a pretty name," Steve commented. "Do you know how old she is?"
"I'd say about two, given how small she is," Tony said.
Loki came down ten minutes later, looking angry. "What happened?" Steve asked.
"Someone attempted to make that little girl into a phylactery," Loki snarled.
"You mean those things in fantasy games that people create to keep part of their soul in?" Tony asked. "I thought it had to be an object."
"Apparently not," Loki said. "Though I am somewhat surprised you have heard of them."
Tony just shrugged. "So you got the soul piece out of Lila's scar?" he asked.
"Yes," Loki said. "And completely obliterated it, as well as quite a few spells meant to hinder her learning. She seems quite smart already; I think teaching her will be easy. The only problem is that people from her old home may come looking for her."
"Her old home?" Steve asked.
"The only magical community foolish enough to make phylacteries in this day and age is Magical Britain," Loki said. "I need to make a short trip; will you look after Lila while I'm gone?"
"Sure," Steve said. "Is she on your floor?"
"Yes, she is sleeping off the ritual I used to remove the phylactery and spells," Loki said. "I shouldn't be gone long."
"We'll take care of her," Steve said. Loki nodded and teleported.
Loki knew quite a bit about the magical communities, even though Britain's prejudice disgusted him to the point that he almost never went there. He landed in Diagon Alley, and headed straight for Gringotts.
Going inside, he set off a bunch of alarms, and got pulled aside by the goblins and dragged to Ragnok, the head of the bank- which was what he had intended, and why he was wearing a glamour. He had known it would set off the alarms. He dropped the glamour as soon as the door closed, and asked conversationally, "Does the name Lila Potter ring any bells?"
Ragnok eyed him carefully. "You know her location? She is considered the savior of Magical Britain because she somehow took out the resident Dark Lord," he said.
"I found her, yes," Loki said. "I intend to insure these snobbish, inbred bastards never get their hands on her. I found her abandoned by someone on the steps of a church in New York City; whoever her current guardians are clearly do not care for her welfare in the least."
Ragnok thought quickly. The goblins were well aware of the Norse pantheon, and angering Loki would not end well for them. Getting on his good side, however, might prove to be beneficial in the future. "You have come for information, I take it?" Ragnok asked.
"Yes," Loki said. "The fact that she had a phylactery in her curse scar worries me, and I do not want these inbred British morons to get their hands on her."
"She had a what in her scar?" Ragnok asked.
"I believe you call them Horcruxes," Loki said.
Ragnok filed that away for later and asked, "What do you wish to know, Prince Loki?"
"I need to know everything pertaining to the situation, and whether or not it is possible for me to adopt Lila," Loki said.
Ragnok nodded, and said, "Albus Dumbledore, the so-called 'Leader of the Light', put Lila with her mother's sister against the wishes of her late parents, and registered himself as her magical guardian after her godfather Sirius Black was thrown in Azkaban. You should know that Sirius Black was innocent of everything he was accused of, but since no one listens to us and he wasn't given a trial, he's stuck there."
"Is it possible to get him out legally, or do I have to sneak him out?" Loki asked.
"With the current Minister in charge, it will be next to impossible to get him a trial," Ragnok said. "We are currently unsure of what Dumbledore is planning to do with Miss Potter, but he clearly wants her under his control. I can set things up so you are her magical guardian and so you can adopt her, but I would need a drop of her blood."
Loki handed him a vial, and said, "I came prepared."
Ragnok got the necessary paperwork, and Loki filled it out, giving some of his blood as well. Ragnok filed the paperwork, and said, "We should check with Bartek, he's the Potter accounts manager. Judging by the fact Dumbledore registered himself as Miss Potter's magical guardian, he may have taken money out that he was not entitled to."
"Very well," Loki said. "It sounds to me as if this Dumbledore needs a lesson."
"Finding out the Girl-Who-Lived is no longer under his control should be shock enough," Ragnok commented. "What you are planning should help ruin his reputation."
They reached Bartek's office, and Ragnok knocked, then motioned for Loki to go in alone. Bartek looked up and asked, "To what do we owe this pleasure, Prince Loki?"
"I am now Lila Potter's magical guardian, and I wish to know if Albus Dumbledore made any withdrawals under the guise of being her magical guardian," Loki replied. "I found Lila abandoned on the steps of a church in New York City; it is clear that he did not take any interest in her welfare."
Bartek went through his files, and growled. "Seems that Dumbledore has been embezzling money from the Potter accounts since the death of James and Lily Potter," he growled. "What would you like me to do?"
"Reclaim all the money with interest, and give it to the Gringotts goblins for their help in this matter," Loki said. "All I ask in return is your silence on Lila's whereabouts and who adopted her."
Bartek looked pleased, and said, "Very well. Was there anything else?"
"No, I will not waste any more of your precious time," Loki said. "May your gold flow endlessly, and your enemies fall before you, noble goblin."
"May your gold flow endlessly, and your enemies fall before you, Prince Loki," Bartek said. "I will do as you ask."
"Thank you," Loki said, and left. He had one more thing to do before heading back to Avengers Tower.
Landing on Azkaban Island, Loki cloaked his presence and went looking for Sirius Black. The man had been one of his most faithful worshippers, and he had always found it amusing that Sirius would sacrifice rubber chickens in his honor.
He finally found the right cell, and unlocked the door, then went in. He found a thin black dog with blue eyes looking at him warily, and said, "I'm here to get you out; you might want to transform back."
Sirius transformed back into his human form, and Loki grabbed his arm, then teleported back to Avengers Tower- but not before transforming the bed into a lifeless replica of Sirius. With how stupid the wizards were, they'd assume he had died.
They landed on his floor, and found Pepper chastising Steve and Tony while holding Lila. She looked up and said, "Loki, next time you need to leave a child home, call ME, not these two jokers."
"My apologies," Loki said.
"Who's your friend?" Tony asked.
"This is Sirius Black, he was one of my most faithful worshippers before some idiot threw him in jail for a crime he didn't commit," Loki said. "I always found the sacrifices he made amusing."
"People who worship you SACRIFICE stuff?" Steve asked, appalled.
"It was just a few rubber chickens!" Sirius said indignantly. "It's not like I sacrificed anything ALIVE!"
"People who worship me tend to play pranks," Loki said. "Very few tend to sacrifice anything at all, and never anything alive. I mainly noticed Sirius because he was sacrificing rubber chickens in my honor. His friends were quite amusing too- except for the rat."
Tony was howling with laughter, and Steve asked, "So why did you have to go to England again?"
"I wanted information on my new daughter," Loki said. "Once I found out Sirius here was wrongfully incarcerated, I decided to make a side trip. Besides, Lila is his goddaughter, and he won't be happy in England. Not to mention they'll be finding that dead replica of him I left behind any day now."
"Dumbledore left Lila with you?" Sirius asked, confused.
"No, he left her with her aunt, who abandoned her two blocks from here," Loki said. "I just happened to be passing by, and decided to take her in, since this is one stray Tony CAN'T get rid of."
"Strays?" Sirius asked.
"Loki has this awful habit of bringing in stray cats and dogs, and they all have fleas and lice and are dirty, so I have to take them to shelters," Tony said grouchily. "I take it you're staying as well?"
"Is that okay?" Sirius asked.
"Yeah, it's fine," Tony said. "You might want to get cleaned up, though."
"Do you have any spare clothes he could wear?" Loki asked.
"Yeah, sure," Tony said. He left, and Sirius asked Loki, "What's been going on since I got thrown in Azkaban?"
"According to the goblins, Albus Dumbledore wants control of Lila," Loki said. "They don't know what he's planning on doing, but I assume it has something to do with that Dark wizard they mentioned; I found a phylactery in Lila's curse scar, so I assume Dumbledore knows he's still somewhat alive and is going to try to make Lila kill the man. I do not plan on letting her anywhere near England, since Dumbledore will undoubtedly try to take her away from me, and they regard her as some storybook heroine."
"So I take it she won't be going to Hogwarts?" Sirius asked dryly.
"I'll homeschool her, and you can help," Loki said. "You people rely far too much on wands, and Hogwarts is a worldwide laughingstock, from what I've heard. I rarely go to England; the prejudice there disgusts me, as does the lack of common sense magicals there have."
"Aren't you worried about magic overloading all the technology around here?" Sirius asked.
"I already took care of that," Tony said, coming back. "Reindeer Games there helped me make my tech magic-proof after a few mishaps. Oh, and here's some clothes I found." He handed Sirius a pile of clothing.
"Thanks," Sirius said.
"You can use my bathroom to get cleaned up," Loki said. "I'll show you." He led Sirius to the bathroom, showed him how to work everything, and left.
Tony and Pepper were waiting for him, Pepper still holding Lila, who was sleeping. "What's next?" Tony asked.
"We raise Lila," Loki said.
This is my latest idea, as Continuing With Therapy is currently on hold until I get over writer's block. I have five chapters written already, and will write more soon. Enjoy and please review, fave, and follow!