They Never Knew
Chapter 1: When They Found Her)
Authors note: This had the potential to be a very triggering story. I plan to go into full detail of what happens in this. WARNING SUICIDE ATTEMPT AND PAST OF SELF HARM. I hope you enjoy and are intrigued. For those out there who get easily triggered I suggest you leave now. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: I only own Amelia (Emma's sister) and the storyline. I unfortunately do not own Once Upon A Time or any of the characters and I do not claim to.
Emma couldn't help but notice all the little things that had changed in Storybrooke since she arrived nearly four years ago. Some things were for the better…and some things weren't. She watched as Sneezy passed her giving her a dark glare, she noticed how different town's people wouldn't look at her as though they couldn't be bothered. Maybe she did bother people. Emma may come off as a non-caring person but on the inside she always had. She had always wanted approval, to be loved.
She thought she could have that with Mary Margret and David along with Henry and if she were lucky maybe even Hook. Yes Emma was in love! She had fallen in love with that pirate. It couldn't be helped. While Emma felt maybe this was a good thing she also was terrified. Love had never gone quite right for her. Luck was not something that followed her often.
This thought stayed with her as she made her way up to her apartment that she had shared with her parents since she arrived at Storybrooke. As she walked in she immediately noticed she was alone. This is when things got bad for Emma. This is when the voices would take over and make her feel in ways she never had to with other people around.
She went to the kitchen and started making hot chocolate. 'Maybe this would be alright. Emma you've stayed alone before and been fine. Besides you could always invite someone.' She tried to reason with herself. 'Just ask Henry if he wants to hang out. It's a Friday so it's not like he has school.' She smiled gently at the idea of spending time with her son. She pulled out her phone and was ready to call when the thoughts came…'what makes you think he wants to spend time with you? He doesn't even consider you his real mom! He only brought you here to break the curse, so why have you stayed so long? Are you really that lonely? That pathetic?'
Emma shook her head vigorously trying to get them out! "This isn't me! I know Henry loves me! Along with other people! They would be crushed if I died!" While she said it forcefully she knew as soon as her voice cracked that she was only trying to convince herself. She felt the tear streak down her check as the thoughts slowly but surely started to win the internal battle. The same battle she had dealt with for years.
She took a shaky breath quickly trying to find something to distract herself with. 'Just call Hook. He'll gladly come over and talk to you.' She nodded her head pulling her phone out once again and calling only to get his voicemail…'See told you no one wanted to spend time with you.'
'He's probably just busy. He does have a life, he'll call me when he gets the time.'
'No he won't…'
Emma stormed up to her room determined to get a shower and wash all this negativity off of her. She hopped in quickly stripping before jumping into the scalding hot water. She let out a sigh of relief as she allowed the water to slide down her giving her the most comfort she had had all day.
'Doesn't it feel good to hurt yourself? You know it does, that's where all those scars came from. Why not just a few more to take away the pain?'
Emma rolled her eyes as she washed her hair effectively getting rid of the voices. She got out and got dressed as the phone rang. She walked eagerly towards the phone hoping for someone to talk to! "Hello?" She asked as she picked up the phone
"Emma?" It was Mary Margret.
"What are you doing?"
"Just got out of the shower, why?"
"Oh I was just calling to let you know we won't be home till late. David has a lot of work to catch up on at the station. Don't wait up on us."
"I could come down and help."
"No it's fine we've got it, night!"
She didn't know why she felt so terrible. She knew that it was just a situation. A completely reasonable situation…it was when she thought about the fact that Henry had plans, Hook was busy, and now her parents were stuck doing work and didn't want her help that bothered her.
'They just didn't want your help. She basically begged you to be in bed when they got home. So they wouldn't have to deal with the likes of you after a hard day.'
"No your wrong! This is just you trying to get the better of me! I have put up with you every day and I am sick of it! I am NOT going to stand for it any longer! I am DONE with you!" To anyone else she would look crazy talking to the walls, but to Emma this was a battle that she had just won.
'…then end it…'
'If your done with me then end it.'
Emma usually would shrug that off. Let it go as nonsense or just being tired but…tonight, with everyone gone…it didn't seem like such a bad offer. No more pain, and no more being a pain to anyone else. Before she knew what she was doing she was walking towards the kitchen grabbing a knife and making her way to her room. She walked to the medicine cabinet grabbing a bottle of Tylenol before slowly sinking into her bed. She sat there with the one accessory in each hand. This was something she had to do. Because the voices were right. She was done.