Shadow Story: Caitlin is seventeen and having some problems coping with her past. My first fanfic so be nice.

Caitlin Lowe stood next to her friends, half listening, shifting from one foot to another, Pulling her hair away from her neck in heavy bunches and twirling them around her fingers. It was really hot her elastic band had broken and though she had another one in her bag, she didn't feel like tipping half the things out of her bag to get it.

Caitlin's mind was wandering. It was Eric's birthday tonight and she could hear him asking everyone to come. If he doesn't invite you just act normal it's no big deal Caitlin said to herself. Actually it was a big deal. to her any way. Am I saying I actually like Eric? No? Yes? She questioned herself Caitlin dismissed all thought's of Eric and the party and trying to focus her attention on the teacher's. It was almost the end of Catlin's high school years. No more homework or kids. She looked around and was surprised to see the emotion on her classmate's faces. A small stab of uncertainty Hit her. Suppose she wasn't good enough to be a photographer. Didn't get in university? Failed her exams? Misjudged everything. She brushed the thought aside No. She was one of the top photographers. She had things planned out.

'So many strong friendships have been formed over these years at school. Make the effort to keep in contact. The world out there can be a very tough and lonely place. Very tough indeed. So congratulations again.'

The students clapped warmly, then crowded around the teacher's for a few quick words of goodbye. There was a general exuberant feeling, even though some were half crying as they slapped each other's backs and clasped hands.

Someone tapped Caitlin on the shoulder. It was Will 'hey school's out for good huh' He said giving her a forced smile. Caitlin and Will had been together for a while but Time had drifted them apart and their relationship had slowly fizzled. 'Yeah pretty good huh' Caitlin responded. 'Hey Will you on for the party' Eric hollered. 'Of course' he yelled back. 'Okay see you around they wanna talk to you so yeah bye' Caitlin stammered. She had barely turned around when Will gripped her arm pulling her to face him. He leaned closer to her. Caitlin felt rush of heat spread though her. 'Yeah later' Will whispered softly he kissed her cheek quickly then moved over to where Eric and Brett were standing. Wow does he still like me? Caitlin wondered. Her feelings for Will were gone now but she was sure he wasn't over her yet. Eric approached he warily. 'Um Caitlin see its my birthday and was having a party and I though it would be pretty mean of me not to invite you and all so you wanna come' Caitlin thought about it for a minuet. 'Well I don't know I might Ill think about it okay' 'okay sure thing' Eric said quickly. 'Okay maybe I just might come Caitlin said thoughtfully.'

* * * * * * * * * Caitlin lay on her bed listening to rain drops on the roof. Dori then came up into her room and knocked softy. 'Hi' she says 'how are you?' her voice is shrill not At All like her normal voice. Caitlin gave her a funny look. 'I m fine why do you ask' Dori's face Suddenly turned serious. 'You were sick before weren't you' Caitlin felt her pulse racing 'um I wasn't feeling real well its nothing.' 'Caitlin' Dori said a pained look on her face. 'if there s something you want to tell me you can you know that's what where here for.' Caitlin felt the anger rising how dare she. Great you know Dori she l flip out. 'Look' Caitlin snapped 'nothings wrong with me so can you leave me alone please' She purposely let the tiredness creep into her voice when she emprises please. She held her breath as Dori left and only after she heard her footsteps become more distant she let out her breath. Dori was getting a little too close. Yes, Caitlin had purposely thrown up. But it somehow got rid of that feeling of worthlessness that was creeping up inside her. She d only had been doing it for the last three weeks. But why did I have to do it. She questioned herself. Because it's the only way that I m going to get though to people. a voice reminded her. A voice that was haunting her and it frightened her.

* * * * * * * When Caitlin arrived at Eric's party the place was already crowded with people She nodded at Griffin 'catch you later huh' She made her way though the crowd Taylor stepped in her way 'well look who it is' she said leering her friends snicked 'And what's with the outfit huh trying to impress the guys' Caitlin bristled 'yeah nice skirt did you get it at tarts r us.' She pushed past Taylor before she could think of another retort. Oh god why is every one staring at me is it because I m fat and ugly No! Caitlin tried to correct herself yes it is none of these people want you around You should have stayed where you belong if you ever belonged anywhere at all Caitlin's mind was in a daze 'Eric caught her arm 'hey Caitlin are you okay you don't look so good.' He was looking at her worriedly. 'yeah ill be fine thanks' Caitlin said Wrenching her arm free of his grip. A feeling of dread spread over her She strode Into the kitchen where it was empty. Her eyes swept over the knives that lay near the sink what else can I do there's no other way. She yanked the knife out. Her breathing quickened as she held the knife to her wrist and pressed down harder and harder until she really felt the pain. It was funny focusing on that pain it made everything seam not real. Caitlin opened her eyes and saw a narrow slit along her wrist blood covering it. She took the knife away and carefully washed it under the sink. Then snatching up a tea towel and wrapping it around her wrist. Now she was feeling even worse it was like she was someone else. something not real. why the hell did I do that am I crazy. Caitlin wondered her mind in a panic and suddenly she felt more alone than she ever had in her entire life.