Uzumaki Naruto, you've never been a guy big on rules, but you know there's stuff you can't ignore. Mostly the stuff that no one tells you, the stuff you just know--those are the important rules.

Take, for example, the rules of teamwork. You're part of a team, you work with that team. You sacrifice for that team, and you are that team. You stick together, you help each other--You weren't told that one so much as showed it. And even if you privately admit it scared the hell out of you at the time, it was still pretty damn cool. Kakashi-sensei's good at making sure you remember lessons like that.

And take, for another example, the rules of rivalry. You have a rival. You want to show him up, and you really, really wouldn't mind kicking his ass in the process. Often times there's a girl involved. Often times you hate this guy. That's the way things work. No one taught you that, but you understand it just fine. Bring it on, bastard.


So when your teammate asks you to spar, you say yes, because of course it's good for both of you, because you both need the exercise, and because it's a generally nice thing to do. Of course, when your *rival* asks you to spar, you say yes because he's not really asking, he's challenging you, and like hell you're going turn down a challenge.

And of course, when the guy asking is both rival and teammate, it's understandable that things get a little confused.

But still, there's stuff you just. Don't. Do.

Like... When you're facing him, even if you can't remember what you were arguing about, even if it was just sparring, even if he doubles as a teammate and even if you've had your arms locked for at least two hours without any ground gained either way, no matter how sweaty or how tired, or how frustrated and desperate you're getting, generally...

Generally kissing him is not considered a valid way to get him off balance.

Generally that's liable to piss him off.

Ok, yeah, getting grabbed is what you're supposed to get for pulling something weird like that, and a good 'What the hell was that?' would be in order. And it's perfectly all right to grin and mock him about it, and then never speak of it again because eeegh, as if once wasn't enough? That's what's supposed to happen.

He's not supposed to grab you and not say anything. He's not supposed to *look* at you like that. He's supposed to smirk, because he's about to try and give you the beating of your life and he's supposed to maybe yank you but...

But he's not supposed to kiss *you*.

And, well shit, doing it with tongue probably isn't supposed to happen either, is it?

Even if he smirks and tells you you're even now. Even if he just looks so smug. You're supposed to be bugged by that. You're *not* supposed to let him outdo you-and maybe tackling him is the right idea. But, Uzumaki Naruto, there's supposed to be a difference between getting the last laugh and the last snog. And that's the difference between waking up like a normal lunatic and waking up like a normal lunatic in someone else's room with little idea of how you got there and a nice host of bite marks from your neck to your--ok, ok, waking up naked *anywhere* definitely is not allowed. Period. Not happening. Really not happening. Really, really not happening--

And no panicking. You might just wake the other guy up.

Wake. The. Other. *Guy*. Yeah that's a new one, too. And it should probably be on your mind more than 'Damnit, he'd better be as sore as I am.'

Maybe you can be a little satisfied at the thought that he probably is.

But generally (even if generally isn't the right word anymore) when you wake up in a strange bed in the aftermath of what could either have been a really unorthodox fight or really, really good sex with a guy you've had a damn fine rivalry going on with, you can only assume that it's an accident. Certainly that's not his hand half curled on your stomach, over the mark he might've asked about and you might've not wanted to talk about if you could only remember what happened between the then and the now. You might've told him to fuck off. He wasn't supposed to take it literally, but you're probably not wrong in suspecting that he did.

You can only assume it's a really weird accident, and shift your leg, because--*hello*, that's a little too close for comfort, now.

New rule. The guy sharing the bed with you isn't allowed to move anymore.

He's also not allowed to be awake. Or smirking when you realize this. And he should say *something* damnit. This is his fault, and you tell him so while you, finally, remember the proper course of action and sit up. Your clothes can't have gotten too far, and it's not too hard to sacrifice the feeling of bare skin against skin for the cold wood of the floor. It's a sensation not too hard for you to give up, because it doesn't belong outside of a fight and you're not planning on feeling it again because you're *gone* as soon as you can get your other foot untangled from the sheets and as soon as he stops smiling (because that's just creepy) as you start swearing at the sheets and then the world and then at him and--

--And that shouldn't be so normal, shouldn't feel so normal, because hey, in case you've forgotten...You've broken all of the rules.

But when were you really so keen on rules, anyway?

There are rules of teamwork, and rules of rivalry, but there's also such a beast called a guy who's just woken up and really doesn't want to give a damn about these things so early in the morning. And so, it's proper for that guy to chalk it up to a typical day's oddities, save the clothes searching for later, and let that bastard bedmate of his pull him back down and mock him for being such a woman about it. And then, it's only right to hit said bastard bedmate with a pillow.

And bite him. Yeah, you're definitely allowed to bite him.

Because, Uzumaki Naruto, are you going to let him make you a chewtoy without paying him back for it? Tired or not, that's just not *right*.

Hey, you'll get some sleep.