She has never taught about a day which would be "his trial". Harvey Specter's trial for defrauding the government by paying off the witnessses. She isn't ready for this, because she knew deep down that they'll lose this trial and for the first time in his career he will be losing a trial and that'll end up him going to jail for at least 7 years. The thought of him going to prison, makes her want to drop to her knees. She, the great Donna Paulsen, is not ready to see the man whom she shared her life's 12 years with, suffer in the court. Because as he always said: "Don't go to trial, if you're not going to win." and in this case everyone is sure that they'll definitely lose. Eric Woodall drove them into a corner and what they did is not technically legal and they knew it. Jessica, as his attorney, will just try her best to reduce the penalties because in their situation there's nothing more she can do to save him from this shithole. Just like Stephanie said, Eric Woodall was willing to bend the law to charge Harvey with defrauding and he did it just like that. Mike, of course, didn't roll over on Harvey but when Harvey realized it would end up Mike going to jail, he decided to make a sacrifice. It was his choice after all and he'll endure the consequences. She wore a black dress, she thought black would be a suitable color for this day. She took the black tote that he'd bought for her when they were celebrating a win. She tried to convince herself that everything is going to be alright, but she couldn't fool herself. Not like that, not with him. Because when it came to terms with him, she knows everything. She is Donna. Even being the mighty Donna, she thought about staying at home and crying until she had no tear to cry out,but she realized that it could be the last chance to see him and he would be devastated if she hadn't showed up. She arrived at the court just five minutes earlier which is very un-Donna, because mostly she arrives everywhere 30 minutes earlier. But today is not one of those days. She entered the court and to be honest she looked miserable and actually felt miserable too. A person who looks at her can easily think that she is the one who's in trouble. She went directly to the seatings to avoid curious eyes staring at her. She sat down on the 3rd line just to make sure that she can hear and see everything but at the same time there would be a distance between them so she won't be able to go and hug him. Being on the 1st line could be dangerous at this point. She won't let him taken by the officers. She would hug him tightly and never let him go. They "normally" don't touch, but at that very moment she can even kiss him to make sure that he'll stay where he is. How ironic it is, she was always saying to him that he'll never be able to function without her but now she doesn't even know what she'll do if he goes to jail. Harvey is like a big brother of hers, oh c'mon who is she kidding, she has a feeling for him deep down inside and she is too afraid to admit it is love. So she must be strong for him, she can't just sit there and cry like a toddler. That'll make everything a lot more worse, that'll break his heart. He can't stand seeing her cry. He did beat the shit out of Stephen when he saw her cry because of him. And today if she cries, she is sure that Harvey won't be able to wear his cold, emotionless mask on. She was trying really hard to be strong when the officers bring him into the court with handcuffs, she felt her eyes watered. The scene in front of her was far from what she was prepared to see, it was heart-breaking, it was like rubbing salt on a wound until you have no strenght to scream and cry out. She wasn't expecting THIS. He wasn't a real criminal at all. He didn't murder someone for God's sake. The picture in front of Donna was disastrous; Harvey being led by two officers in his arms, and he looks defeated for the first time in his entire life. There were grey circles around his eyes, he lost weight in a week. His hands were clenched together at the front and he looked like he has no power to stand straight. If the officers didn't help him up, he would have drop to his knees, she thought with a pained expression on her face. This view made her sick. She can't stand seeing him like this: so vulnerable and defeated. Their eyes met for a few seconds and she thought the World stopped spinning. His eyes lit up when he first saw her. She was reading him like a book she'd read so many times, she realized the sadness and gloom in his eyes which were blood-shot. She was pretty sure that he didn't get a one good night's sleep in a week. The reason of the grey lines she thought. He wasn't the only one who couldn't get sleep anyway, she couldn't too. She was too busy thinking about him for the nights: How they first met with each other, the time he told her he loved her, the other time, the night he's attented her opening night… They shared the most important times of their lifes together for 12 years and now he'll be long gone. Anyway she needs to think of the other things now otherwise she'll start crying in a moment. She returned her gaze to him officers were placing him to his seat near to Jessica as she eyed him with concern. Jessica bent down to him and said something to his ear. He just nodded in agreement. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and realized Mike and Rachel's presence. First Rachel saw Harvey and she put a hand to her mouth in a shock. After Mike saw him, he couldn't take his eyes off Harvey. He didn't except them to bring him with handcuffs too. Even though Woodall's sending Harvey to prison, it isn't enough for him. He really wants Harvey to suffer and he's the reason of those humiliating handcuffs as Harvey would have called felt Rachel's eyes burning her skin, she saw the sad and pitiful look on her face. Mike shook his head in disapproval. He was trying to convince himself that he wasn't the one who's responsible of this situation, Harvey had made him clear to that, but seeing his mentor/best friend like this drove him crazy and it was a torture for all to watch all this happen, because they knew exactly how this is going to end.
He felt like a dead man walking. He has never thought about a day which would be his own trial. He knew this will end badly, but there is nothing they can do at this point. "Is it how it's going to end?" he thought to himself as he looked at his hands which were clenched together. His wrists were bruised because of the metal impact and his right one is actually bleeding. That Goddamn Woodall, how he beat him. Now there he is standing in a courtroom with handcuffs around his wrists, completely beaten and defeated. There were two grumpy officers who led him walk towards the bench. He was looking at his feet and when he lifted his head to see around he saw the only person who he wanted to see at that moment or in every moment of his life. There were lots of people, lots of faces in the courtroom but his eyes detected her in a brief seconds. The whole courtroom was blurry for him. He felt the grip on his arms tightened for a seconds. There she was wearing a black dress and sitting there with the black tote that he bought for her. When he first saw her, he forgot where or why he was. He smiled for the fisrt time in two weeks but a few seconds later the realization sunk to him like a sharp knife: This is probably the last time he would be able to see her. There's no way in earth he would allow her to visit him in jail. He'd rather kill himself. He looked deep into the two brown eyes, just staring him to read them. He saw the concern in her eyes. She was looking at him with such a worry and he could easily tell that she hadn't slept for a few days too, she looked exausted. He was fine until that moment when her eyes watered. He quickly returned his gaze to Jessica to avoid seeing her cry because he couldn't stand seeing her cry and for the first time in 12 years, he admitted to himself that he's in love with her. He can't stand seeing her sad, he wants her to be okay,smile and laugh, but seeing her cry because of him is like a torture: a slow and a very painful one indeed. Admitting himself his true love at that moment and in a courtroom was another pain for him. He returned to reality when he saw the shocked expression on Jessica's face. Was it pitty ? With the help of the officers he placed himself near to Jessica and waited hopelessly for the judge to drop the gavel.
She promised herself that she won't cry but after seeing him so defeated and vulnerable, she burst into tears. Rachel put an arm around her and tried to comfort her by saying "Everything'll be alright, Donna. He'll be over this too. Don't forget he's Harvey Goddamn Specter!" She has a sad smile on her face. Donna shook her head after a few minutes later: "I don't know if I can live without him, Rach. It's for certain that they'll charge him." Rachel couldn't say a word so she continued: "How ironic it is. I was always teasing him that he can't even function properly without me and now he'll be gone for at least 7 years and I don't even know if I want to live anymore. Do you know why I agreed to come with him from the DA.'s office? I had lots of offers from theathers but I refused every single of them, because I didn't know how I survive without seeing him for 10 hours a day. I couldn't admit it for the last 12 years and now it's too late for that shit, you know." Rachel was shocked to hear all of these in seconds. Donna admitted for the fisrt time that she's in love with Harvey and she was confessing that she would be nothing without him. She didn't know what to say or to do so she just caressed Donna's shoulder. The trial lasted for 2 hours and Jessica achieved to reduce his penalties. The final resul was 5 years of jail time and Harvey gets disbarred, won't be able to practice law anymore. She suddenly felt teribble: Harvey she knows won't be able to survive without his job. It would kill him doing nothing and she can't imagine Harvey doing any other job than being an attorney. Harvey doesn't even get vacations. And the goddamned Woodall was there watching the show he prepared running smoothly, grinning at Harvey with pleasure in his eyes. As he approached to Harvey, officers came to a halt. He leaned on Harvey's ear and whispered: "Still enjoying the dirty games you play?" Harvey made a quick move towards him to grab him but officers catched him from his arms, one of them lands a quick punch on his torso. She was taken aback by this knew that this result is what exactly is going to happen but she started crying again like a 5 years old kid who lost her mother. She was definitely lost without him. Harvey is the other half of her, the half that completes her, makes her better. She looked around quickly, scanned the courtroom to find his two brown eyes. Officers were taking Harvey out of the courtroom to the police car. She started running through the hallways. She heard Mike calling after her "Donna! No, stop!" She cried to the officers "Please, stop!" The officers came to a halt. They didn't release him completely. They were holding his arms tightly, as if he had a chance to escape. He was looking directly at her with two big brown placed her hands on his jaw. Harvey lifted his hands up to touch hers. He caressed her face with difficulty. Handcuffs were making this a lot more harder than it was. She felt the cold metal brushing her skin and at that moment she saw the bruises and blood on his wrists. A tear slipped to her cheek. He was looking at her with puppy eyes and she was about to cry again. In that moment he slowly bent down, his reaction made officers nervous, kissed her lips with passion. She was shocked at first but replied quickly. How good was it, to do the thing they both have been wanting to do for the last 12 years. It felt great. He tried to lift his hands again to caress her face, he realized the handcuffs then, sighed heavily with defeat. For 12 years they both waited for this time to come, but they sadly managed to do this in the hallways of court with Harvey's hands were handcuffed. She was scared that he'll escape from her and that did happen. Officers drag him by the arms to the exit where the car waited for them. Donna stared at him with tears on her eyes, sobbing. She waved him one last goodbye.