Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2, if I did this wouldn't be a fanfiction. But I don't, so it is, you follow?


The cast of Ranma 1/2 were all seated on logs and rocks around a camp fire, it'd been Akane's idea to have a big family camp out, but several people like decided to tag along. Ranma came because Mr. Tendo invited him and his father, but Ukyo and Shampoo followed Ranma. Mousse followed Shampoo, Kuno followed the Tree Born Kettle Girl (Female Ranma) and Ryoga just sort of stumbled upon the camp sight and was invited to stay by the ever kind Kasumi and Akane.

Part One
The Ghost in Me

Her smile was so nice, so warm. Too warm . . . Ryoga felt like he was on fire!
'Wow!' He thought to himself. 'Akane sure is pretty tonight, not that she isn't pretty every night. Man I'm burning up! It really does feel like I'm on fire! The warmth is moving from my hand to my arm and-'
"Hey Ryoga!" Ranma called. "You know your arm is on fire right?"
Ryoga wanted to ignore Ranma, but his subconscious wouldn't let him. "Of course my arm is on fire. It's burning with love for-AAAHHH! It IS on fire!" He cried and started dancing around the campfire like an Indian doing a rain dance.
Kasumi was about to douse him with water, but Ranma quickly put out the flames with a blanket. "Don't splash him with water!" Ranma protested. "He'll go into shock!"
Ryoga sat down a little further from the fire, thankful to Ranma but not willing to admit it.
"Be more careful, no roasting marshmallows for you Ryoga." Kasumi said.
"Aww . . ." Ryoga sighed.
"It's okay," Nabiki said, "You can have one of mine . . . for about five hundred-" Kasumi gave her a very stern glance. "Er, I mean you can just have it." She chose one of the ten sticks she had put into the ground, and without looking at it, passed it to Ryoga.
Ryoga's eyes swelled up, as he accepted Nabiki's generous gift. Never had he been shown such kindness. He didn't even mind that the thing was still on fire when he ate it . . . well, he did mind he just swallowed before he figured it out.
"Oh Ryoga!" Kasumi said. "I told you to be more careful!"
"That was cool, let's see him do it again!" Nabiki said, handing him another marshmallow after making sure it caught fire.
"Nabiki!" Akane cried.
Ryoga downed the marshmallow.
"Holy crap!" Ranma cried. "Ryoga, what the heck is wrong with you?"
"Rhyme rot her." Ryoga said, his tongue was numb.
"What?" Akane asked.
"He said he's not sure." Soun Tendo translated. "No matter, I'm sure he'll be okay in no time-Nabiki don't give him another one!"
"Spoil sport." Nabiki huffed.
"Well how about some ghost stories?" Ukyo asked.
"Yes! A great Idea!" Mousse said. "Let me go first?"
"No Mousse first!" Shampoo declared. "Ranma go first."
"Yeah, let Ranma-honey go first!" Ukyo said.
"Lets see just how scary Ranma is." Akane said sarcastically.
"Look at his face and you'll see how scary he is!" Ryoga muttered a bit to loudly.
"I know how to settle this." Nabiki sighed. "Mousse wants to go first, but everyone wants Ranma to go first. So instead, why don't I go first?"
"Fine." Mousse said.
"I didn't have a story anyway." Ranma shrugged.
Shampoo and Ukyo gave Nabiki evil stares, but Nabiki paid them no mind. She took a deep breath, and began . . .

"And *that* is why you must never play a Star Wars video game!" Nabiki finished.
Everyone shuddered at the end of her scary story. Could every Star Wars video game ever developed really be that bad? The horror!
"Me next!" Kuno cried.
"Shampoo say Ranma next!" Shampoo said, hugging Ranma's arm.
"Stop trying to make me go next!" Ranma protested.
"Shampoo so scared, Ranma protect Shampoo from evil Star Wars yes?" Shampoo asked.
"Stop hugging my arm!" Ranma cried.
"I'll protect you Shampoo!" Mousse cried.
"Look Mousse, its Darth Vader!" Ryoga cried, pointing to a big tree behind Mousse.
"What! Ahh! Where? Ahh!" Mousse cried as he dove for cover.
Nabiki smiled wryly, then sighed. "I think we should grab straws."
"Great idea!" Akane said. "Anyone have any straws?"
Everyone said "no"
So it was decided to pull hairs out of Panda-Genma's back and see which was the longest.

It was a while before Mousse got his chance to be winner of the straw drawing, but eventually he got to tell his story. And indeed it was a very scary story.
"The boy came out of his tent! He could hear the sound of waves breaking on the rocks, but he knew the nearest beach wasn't for a hundred miles! Still he heard it! K-chhssss, K-chhssss! And that's when he saw it! His father, sitting by the camp fire . . . with the whole case of beer!"
Everyone fell over.
"Drinking them all! The sounds of waves were the opening of the beer cans! K-chhssss! K-chhssss!"
"That's it!" Ranma cried. "I should have just gone next!"
"Let me go next." Mr. Tendo said. "I have one that actually IS scary, and doesn't involve video games, beer cans, Ranma raping the Pigtailed Girl (he glanced at Kuno) or (he glanced at Kasumi) a lack of cooking lard!"
"Okay, fine then!" Ranma said indignantly.
Ahem. They say that there was once a happy couple living in this forest. Yes. A happy couple indeed."
"Were not in a forest, this is a national park's designated camping ground" Akane protested.
"It used to be a forest." Her father scolded.
"It used to be a lake, then they filled it in to make it look like a forest." Kuno said matter-o-factly.
"For the love of god just let me tell the story!" Mr. Tendo cried. "Anyway, they were man and wife for many years, but as with all good things, their happiness was coming to an end. For you see the man had an illness that could only be cured by the petals of a certain flower that no longer grew in the area. His dutiful wife searched everywhere for the flower, but never found it."
"That's so sad!" Ranma cried.
"Did he die?" Ryoga asked.
"No. For soon he discovered that it was just food poisoning, and he recovered. His wife was still gone though. He was greatly pained, and feared for her safety. But then, at last his heart was eased when he married his wife's sister. They got married the day after his wife set off to find the flowers"
"The cad!" Kuno scoffed.
"That jerk!" Ukyo agreed.
"His wife returned on their honeymoon night with the flowers her husband so desperately needed,"
"And we all know what couples do on their honeymoon night." Nabiki laughed with wicked anticipation.
"Quite right Nabiki. Outraged the man's dutiful wife flew upon her husband and sister and ran them through with a spear!"
"Where did she get the spear?" Akane asked.
"From a spear shop." Mr. Tendo said, looking like he was starting to get annoyed. "Anyway she stabbed them both, but then as she looked upon them she saw that she had killed two of the most important people in her life, and she couldn't stand the pain. So she took the spear and stabbed herself as well."
"Wait, wouldn't her husband and sister have noticed if she came in with a spear?" Ranma asked.
"For the love of god just shut up!" Mr. Tendo said. "I'm not finished yet. Anyway, it is said that her ghost still haunts this place, filled with sorrow and anger for her loss. It is said that some times her soul inhabits the body of a young woman and she decapitates young lovers!"
"Why does she decapitate them?" Mr. Saotome asked. "I thought she ran her husband and sister through with a spear, what does decapitation have to do with anything?"
"To hell with it!" Tendo cried. "I give up! You people are nonstop! I'm going to sleep!" He stomped off to his tent.
"We'd best follow his example. Okay, boys to the boys tent and girls to the girls tent." Saotome said.
"But I didn't get to tell my story!" Ryoga protested.
"We'll listen to it tomorrow." Akane said sweetly.
"It won't be as scary tomorrow." Ryoga sighed.
"Well, I'm not quite done with these marshmallows, why don't you hang out with me, tell me your story and have a few?" Nabiki asked with a false sweetness that Ryoga didn't quite catch.
Saotome looked as if he were about to scold Nabiki, but just shrugged and walked off snickering when Ryoga ate another burning marshmallow.
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Akane laid back in her sleeping bag, thinking about the story that her father told her, and wondering if she'd stab Ranma with a spear if she caught him with Kasumi or Nabiki. She wondered if she'd need to catch him with anyone before she decided to run him through.

Kasumi wondered if the gang would need breakfast cooked tomorrow. She also wondered how she'd feel if she caught her feature husband (Jet Li) in bed with one of her sisters. She decided she would bash his brains in with a frying pan, then kiss his booboo and then everyone would be happy.

Ranma wondered if Akane would run him through with a spear if he made a move on sweet ass Kasumi or Nabiki. He reasoned and used his logic to come to the conclusion that Akane would be willing to share him with her sisters.

The only thing Nabiki wondered about was how many burning marshmallows Ryoga could eat at once. She bet him five hundred yen that he couldn't eat ten, but unfortunately she lost. She didn't mind the loss of money because she was quite entertained by the rain dance Ryoga did afterwards.

Ryoga was wondering why Nabiki was being so nice to keep giving him marshmallows? Did she have a crush on him? What about Akane? Poor Akane, he'd simply have to give one of them up. Well Nabiki was feeding him, and Akane wasn't so . . . No! No he cared too much about Aka-ooh another marshmallow? Okay!
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Ryoga told his story to Nabiki who paid little to no attention. Her main focus was getting the marshmallows just right so that they caught fire, but didn't melt off the stick, or spread to her hand as she passed them to a very full Ryoga.
As the ghost of Saizo Hidetatsu watched the pair she had a strange urge to decapitate them.

To Be Continued . . .

A/N: This fic will eventually become a full-blown Ryoga + Nabiki + Akane love triangle thing (Akane + Ranma in healthy enough doses for authenticity), for now it's just goofiness. I know that Ryoga + Nabiki isn't a popular coupling, (I've searched FanFic.Net for about a day now and haven't found ONE) so that's why I'm writing this. I'm also hoping it's not SO unpopular that you won't read the fic and see that it's still funny anyway.