Authors Note: This is my first time writing fanfiction, so I'm still getting used to how everything works. Please feel free to leave reviews to tell me how I'm doing!

"Are you ok?" Craig asked, looking down at the cringing blonde boy. He was always cringing so it was hard to tell.

Tweek opened his large green eyes, "I-I'm ok. I said we could do this so-" He winced again. Craig looked down at him worriedly. His thick lashes covering his narrow eyes.

"I just feel like this would be easier on you if you weren't shaking so much." Really Tweek vibrating around Craig's dick was rather lovely for Craig, but it seemed to not be helping Tweek in the slightest.

"Do you know who you're fucking?!" Tweek asked, perplexed."I offered to have you top", Craig sighed. This was the first time they had ever tried anything, in the eight years since they had "come out" as gay to appease the town. They had tried to shake the stigma, and most of the students understood by this point that they weren't really an item, still none of the girls would date them. And if any of them did, they were made pariahs of the town. Craig and Tweeks "love" set the example for the rest of the town. If Craig and Tweek weren't happy in love, then no one else was. They took this responsibility seriously, but it was still hard to deal with all of the pent up sexual frustration. So they finally decided to do something about it.

"No-ngh-I-I told you, I'm saving myself for someone special."

"I think this still counts as losing your virginity."

Tweek gasped.

"Oh come on, you knew this was sex, I'm wearing a freaking condom for fuck's sake."

"N-n-n-n-n-no, I-I think you found it."

"Really?" Craig readjusted himself, to get an easier access to that spot. He hit it again. Tweek grabbed his neck.

"And-ngh-it-doesn't count, so long as I'm not the one doing the fucking. Gah!" Craig began to pant, his face burning a bright red.

"Are you ok?!" Craig stopped.

"Yes! It's just starting to feel really good so hurry up already." Tweek thrust his hips upward, trying to get Craig to hit the sweet spot manually. Craig gave out a short breath of a chuckle.

"Okay." Craig picked up the pace, in and out, in and out. Each thrust a little faster than the last.

Craig could tell that he was going to cum soon. Shit. He didn't want to cum before Tweek that seemed, unprofessional…or something, definitely uncool. He dipped his head down onto Tweek's chest and started to lick and graze against his nipple.

Tweek gasped. Twitching away from the tongue, but Craig wrapped his mouth around the nipple, so that it would be grazed sharply by teeth if Tweek tried to move.

Tweek clung to the headboard to fight the inclination. "Ugh-Stop it Craig-it" He gasped, it was starting to get difficult to breath, "It feels….weird" He let out a big sigh, his eyes closed tightly. Saliva was dribbling out of his mouth. He was getting really close to climaxing.

Craig rammed into Tweek one final momentous time, and Tweek screamed out in ecstasy. Finally. Craig came as he slowly pulled out, getting cum in both Tweek's asshole, on his thigh, and on Craig's 'Red Rocket' sheets.

"Shit." Craig sighed, looking at the damage.

"Oh no! What if your mom finds out when she's washing the sheets-what if she tells my parents? What if they try and give me the talk again! I can't go through that again, man! Too much pressure!" Tweek's dad had even gone so far as to demonstrate how to put on a condom in front of him. Tweek had never wanted to see his dad's dick, and now the image was burned forever into his mind.

"Relax." Craig said, pulling off of Tweek. "I'll wash it myself." He sighed, "But you should go take a shower, before it hardens."

"Hardens? Like a freaking countdown? That's too much pressure Craig!"

"Then go."

Tweek jumped out of the bed, and ran into the bathroom. Craig could hear the door slam.

Craig dipped a finger into a small pile of semen on the bed. It was bitter, and had the hint of coffee. That liar, he hasn't quit coffee, at all. No wonder he was so freaking twitchy, that little spaz.

Craig sprayed some Tyde instant on the sheets then rolled them up and threw them into the hamper. He would have to wash them while his parents were gone, so his mom wouldn't see, that or find a local laundromat. His mom would think he was mature enough to handle his own laundry if she heard him using the machine, and that added chore would be a real pain. He already had two Guinea pigs to take care of, what more could they ask of him?

The Guinea pigs in question had had their cage covered in light of this experiment. Which, Craig had to admit had gone rather well. He didn't think he would be able to get it up for Tweek, but the dude had gotten to him. Maybe he saw what all the other swooning girls at school saw. The boyish face, easy smile (well it was never all that easy, but when he was smiling it looked easy) the solid frame, the thinner six-pack.

That isn't to say that Craig wasn't a catch. But he looked far more rugged. His muscles where bigger and more developed, his always stoic expression gave him a mysterious air, and his smile, rarely shown, could melt. And perhaps his most beautiful feature on his handsomely chiseled face that looked like a marble sculpture, where his eyes. Those small narrow slits had the most beautiful color of grey, you could ever see. It didn't make sense to call them grey, it seemed too boring and unattractive a word for these eyes, but there was no other word for it.

The door opened and Tweek walked in, wrapped in a towel like a girl, hair straight and slid back with the moisture.

Annnnnd Craig was hard again.

Craig quickly grabbed some underwear from his dresser and pulled them and his sweats on before Tweek could notice his erection. The sweats were efficiently roomy.

"Can you toss me my pants?"Tweek asked, blushing.

"You don't have to go home you know, my parents won't be home till tomorrow afternoon." Craig tossed him the pants.

"Yeah, but what if they come home and find us here. They'll find out, dude! I can't have that, way too much pressure!" Tweek hurriedly pulled them up, never minding that they were inside out.

Craig tossed him his shirt. Tweek put it on, leaving the buttons to hang open over his naked chest. He was never able to button them up all the way, so if he could get away with it, he left them open.

"So um…"Craig placed his hand behind his head, feeling awkward all of a sudden. "Was it, good?"

Tweek's blush deepened, and he looked away swiftly. "Yeah man, I mean, I came didn't I?"

Craig nodded, his expression in his go to neutral state. Tweek was usually the only person who got to see any real emotion. And that was because they were always stuck together, in field trips, as lab partners, you name it, if there needed to be more than one person to do something, Tweek and Craig were paired up to do it. Much to their annoyance.

"So, would you want to do this again?" Craig kept his neutral expression, not wanting his hope to throw Tweek in any given direction.

Tweek studied him out of the corner of his eye, he always hated it when Craig went all zombie on him. He understood that Craig didn't like anyone being able to tell what he was thinking. Gave him an edge or whatever. But throwing this kind of decision on Tweek was totally unfair. It was way too much pressure.

Sighing, Tweek turned back around to face him. "I mean yeah…if you want to-or whatever. It's not like we can get any from anyone else anyway. Tweek twitched, then walked out of room.

"I'll text you!" Craig called after him.

"I know" Craig heard Tweek call back.

Craig's dad had only been home for twenty minutes before he turned the tv on. This was usual of most people in South Park, brainless watchers of television. Really, Craig was surprised there weren't more salespeople around, the town was filled with gullible suckers who would buy anything that was put in front of them.

Tweek sat on the couch across from him. On the tv was a documentary about gay people, and their parents coming to accept that they weren't straight.

"It got to the point where we were in such deep denial that we started letting them go into her room alone. With the door closed! Even though she had told us countless times that she was gay! Looking back on it, it was really irresponsible of us, I mean I wouldn't have allowed that kind of behavior had it been a boy. We finally realized that they were really dating, and had to accept it, I think we are all a lot happier now that we can be open about Tanya's sexuality." The mother on the tv said.

Craig could feel his dad's eyes on him. He turned to see what was up.

"I am so sorry Craig." His dad said, eyes watering. You really have been straight all along haven't you? Why couldn't I see it before?"

Craig was too shocked to roll his eyes. Television had done it again. Brainwashed parents into believing its message. This documentary was on basic cable, which meant all the ignorant masses of south park would soon be convinced.

Finally, the time had come when people were going to listen to Craig when he told them that he and Tweek weren't dating. There was no longer any pressure for them to pretend to be together. It should have felt like a huge weight had been lifted from Craig's shoulders, but instead he was just too shocked to move.

And when he finally came to his senses, it wasn't relief or joy that he felt, it was hollowness. If that documentary had never come on, I'd be so happy….Wait what?!

Of course it would be now. Of course the universe would choose now to remind Craig… that no matter how hard he wished for it not to be, most things were out of his control. Now, when there was no need to keep up the charade, no need to continue pretending to be together, and all the reason for them to finally seek some hetero poo tang, Craig realized that he had feelings for Tweek.

Fucking great.

He flashed the universe the bird.