OK, Lee put out this challenge before Christmas, but I didn't get inspired until today.

As always, I don't own the Buffy folks, nor do I own the Bat folks. Don't sue me, employ me.

The Nature of Christmas

**

                                                            JOHN STEWART

…And so, contrary to Young Justice's field report from last Christmas Eve, he's still alive.

                                                            PLASTIC MAN

                                                            (Twisting around the group, staring at the monitor)

Well, good for him. I mean, I did think it was awfully cruel of the kids to go blowing him up. I mean, what idiot was in charge of that—

                                                            (Sees BATMAN glaring at him)

Oh. Nevermind. It was your idio—

                                                            (Stops.)

Don't freeze me again! I'll be good!

                                                            JOHN STEWART

THE PROBLEM, Plastic Man, is not the fact that he survived the run-in with the team. It's THIS.

                                                            (He unpauses the monitor, and it jumps to footage of a man dressed in red, pointy canine teeth glimmering in the dull light.)

                                                            PLASTIC MAN

That CANT be good. Does this mean we have to take the Big Guy out?

                                                            JOHN STEWART

I don't see what choice we have.

                                                            BATMAN

I can't believe you've wasted my time like this.

                                                            JOHN STEWART

Wasted your time? I hardly think—

                                                            BATMAN

No action will be necessary at this time. And should the need for… intervention arise, there is another organization more apt to the task.

                                                            PLASTIC MAN

                                                            (Elongates his face, resembling the figure in the "The Scream" painting.)

You're kidding, RIGHT Bats? I mean, I know you don't kid around, but we're not going to just… just let Santa be Undead, are we? I mean, that's… not right. I mean, it's SANTA. He's whats good and right and warm and fuzzy in the –never mind. I know who I'm talking to.

                                                            BATMAN

There have been preparations made in advance for any sort of "situation" arising from this.

                                                            PLASTIC MAN

You have a protocol for SANTA CLAUS?

                                                            BATMAN

Eel, have you ever bothered to wonder how "Santa Claus" could survive for over a thousand years?

                                                            PLASTIC MAN

Um… Peace and good will? I mean—Santa's good, vampires aren't good. He's going to eat little kids--

                                                            BATMAN

The Watcher Councel has had an agreement with Santa Claus in place since the fourth century. If he steps out of line, their agreement will terminate, at which time the Councel's slayer will terminate Santa Claus.

                                                            PLASTIC MAN

Woh.   

                                                            JOHN STEWART

That's brutal.

                                                            BATMAN

As I said… there are contingency plans in place.

                                                            END SCENE