Title: Blue Christmas

Author: iwomans_sister

Disclaimer: I don't own "Third Watch" or anything related to "Third Watch". John Wells and NBC have that claim.

Spoilers: WAY too many to name. Sorry.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Angst/General

Authors Note: This one's on the dark side, guys. I decided to go into Bosco's past. BTW, I really shouldn't have listened to Elvis's "Blue Christmas", but hey, since I did, if you're reading this you got stuck with the result. ;)

*A special and warm hearted thank you to a friend I hold dear and love. Merry Christmas, liz_Z!*

Summary: Bosco spends Christmas alone and reminisces on the past.


It's Christmas... I can't believe the year went by so fast. So much has happened in the past year. Faith's spending Christmas with her family, of course she is... Isn't that what a family is for? Ma tried to get me to come over, but I couldn't. I needed to be alone, but at the same time I don't want to be alone. I want to be with Faith.

I can't believe I just said that... But it's true. She's probably sitting in her living room right now opening Christmas gifts. Charlie and Em must have huge smiles on their faces. Being with family, heck, being a family is what Christmas is all about, right? But how would I know? Pop was never really around, and the holidays, I hate them. I didn't always though.

When I was a kid I couldn't wait for Christmas to come around, for Pop to come home. Only, like always, when he came home he was drunk... angry. I don't know when I really started to notice that he was hitting Ma. Sure, I knew that they fought a lot. But didn't all parents? No, not like mine did. Most dads played ball with their kids and taught them how to ride a bike. Mikey and I weren't that lucky. Instead we got a dad who sent our Ma to the emergency room saying she fell down the stairs or walked into a door.

Good ol' Pop for ya. I once told Carlos that the only decent thing my pop thought me was to hit a woman where no one could see, that way no one would know... I was wrong, he thought me other things too, but like everything he thought me, I ignored it. Or I thought I had. What's the difference between him and me? Sure, I've never hit a woman... But my anger, it gets the better of me. Like when I beat the crap out of that guy Ma was dating? What was his name, Steve? Well, it doesn't really matter.

Thank God he's gone! But Faith, I saw the look in her eyes as she pulled me off of him. I broke his nose and two ribs... At that moment I was no better then my own father... Someone I hate. What if I turn into him? I won't, I can't... I don't want to ever be like him, and thinking about it scares me. I remember the haunted look in Faith's eyes. I think I lost some respect from her that day. But she doesn't understand, he was hitting Ma. Just like Pop did.

Just like all Ma's boyfriends after Pop left her. Why does she keep going back to men that hurt her? No, I couldn't spend Christmas with Ma, and I definitely couldn't have spent it with Mikey. Not after arresting him... My own brother. But I had to, it was the only way to help him. Yeah, a lot of good that did me. Oh, and there's no way I could have spent Christmas with Faith and her family. That's the key word of Christmas; family.

I'm not sure if I really even have a family. There's been times before when Faith's tried to tell me that even though we're not blood, we're family... But then Fred walks into the picture and well, honestly, I don't think he likes me at all. He's like the jealous husband from all those romance movies, but worse. Worse because nothing is going on between Faith and I and nothing ever will, but he doesn't believe that.

Damn, Fred's paranoid. It's like the whole world is out to get him... But he has everything... Two loving kids, a nice apartment to call home and that truck that should have been mine. But the most important thing, Faith. A wife that loves him and tries her best. She gives him more love than he deserves and what does she get out of it? She doesn't have enough seniority to work days, she leaves for work before her kids get back from school, and she doesn't get home until they are already in bed...

But she doesn't complain, she's happy and I guess that's all that matters. Well Faith, here's to your white Christmas. Mine's blue.

The End