I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters or anything else. Well I was looking over my earlier fics and I got this crazy idea!
The Return of Brotherhood Radio
"Welcome back to WBAV…Bayville's top radio station! Now its time for…OH NO! NOT YOU GUYS AGAIN! HELP! GET OFF OF ME! HEEEEELLLP!"
"Hello everybody," Pietro said. "Welcome back to Brotherhood Radio! The mutant radio show is back by popular demand!"
"More like despite popular demand," Lance grumbled.
"Quiet lackey!" Pietro snapped. "Now the last time we did this we bashed in a certain red-headed X-Man. That was so wrong."
"Yeah there are plenty of other X-Geeks to bash!" Todd spoke up. "Why should we focus on just one?"
"Good point!" Lance said. "Now a lot of you listeners out there hate the X-Men because they are mutants. We're here to correct that. You should not hate the X-Geeks because they are mutants!"
"Yeah we're here to focus on the more important reasons why people should hate them," Todd spoke up. "First place, they're losers, second place they're hypocrites…did I mention that they were losers?"
"Uh Toad maybe we should be a little more specific," Lance said.
"Maybe you ought to butt out and let me work here!" Todd snapped.
"Shut up!" Lance shoved him.
"You shut up!" Todd shoved him back.
"No you shut up!"
"No you shut up!"
"WILL BOTH OF YOU JERKS SHUT UP!" Wanda snapped as she whacked both of them on the head. "Pietro this is so stupid. Father is gonna have your head for this!"
"He is not! Hey I'm spreading the mutant word here! How's he gonna object to that?" Pietro asked.
"Hey for all you listeners out there in Radiosville we got ourselves a new member," Todd called out. "Introducing our newest and cutest member, the Brotherhood Babe that beats all Brotherhood Babes: The Scarlet Witch! Let's give a nice round of applause for her shall we?" He turned on the applause sound effects.
"Thanks Toad I…" Wanda started to speak but Todd turned up the applause. "Toad I appreciate what you're doing but…TOAD KNOCK IT OFF!" She sent out a hexbolt at the machine."
"As you can see the Scarlet Witch is the best thing that ever happened to the Brotherhood…well ever," Todd shrugged.
"Yeah she's more sociable than Rogue ever was and slightly less psychotic than Boom Boom," Lance said.
"Slightly less psychotic?" Wanda's voice turned dangerous. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Uh I think it's time we all got back on track here," Pietro said nervously. "We of the Brotherhood of Mutants believe that its time that we started to spread our message of how great mutants are! With the exception of course of the X-Geek Brigade."
"Yeah today is Mutant Pride Day!" Fred called out. "Hey they got more doughnuts! Anybody…?"
"Help yourself Blob!" The others all said at the same time.
"Now where were we?" Pietro asked. "Oh yes. We were about to bash in some of the X-Geeks! And let's start off with…"
"Oh man Pietro you're not gonna spend the next hour ranting about how superior you are to Daniels are you?" Fred groaned.
"Of course not," Pietro waved. "In fact, since he left the Geek Brigade to go underground he is no longer worthy enough to be my competition any more! So I just have to pick a new target!"
"So who are you picking?" Todd asked. "Just remember I have dibs on the fuzz ball!"
"Don't worry Toad I'm not taking your rival," Pietro said. "I'll take Cyclops! Mr. Personality himself!"
"Hey! Wait a minute!" Lance snapped. "Summers is my rival! Get your own!"
"Hey he stopped being your rival when I took over as leader!" Pietro snapped.
"Only because your daddy put you in charge!" Lance snapped.
"Well you weren't exactly doing such a bang up job of leading us if I recall!" Pietro said hotly.
"I'm not the one who turned traitor on us in the battlefield!" Lance shouted. "And ran off when the going got tough leaving the rest of us behind to get clobbered!"
"When was this?" Wanda asked.
"Uh…before you joined…" Lance gulped.
"Snowball war!" Todd said quickly.
"Oh yeah big snowball fight with the X-Geeks," Lance said quickly. "Before you got here."
"Yeah nothing you'd know about," Pietro gulped. "Uh…you know I really don't want Summers maybe we should bash someone else?"
"Good idea," Lance nodded. "How about Rogue?"
"Why her?" She used to be one of you right?" Wanda asked.
"Used to be one of us," Fred said. "Past tense."
"But didn't you like her?" Wanda asked.
"We didn't exactly bond all right?" Lance sighed. "For the whole three months she was there she spent 90 percent of her time in her room and the other 10 percent trying to beat us up!"
"Yeah I don't know why people think we were close friends or something just because we lived together," Fred grumbled. "She didn't exactly make a great first impression on me if you recall!"
"Yeah it's not like we didn't try to be nice or nothin'," Todd said. "But no matter what we tried to do she hated. In fact a lot of it backfired on us big time! Can you believe it?"
"Actually yes I can," Wanda sighed. "But still we shouldn't bash her so much."
"You're right!" Pietro shouted. "Let's bash someone else! Someone who really deserves to be bashed! I got it! How about Principal Kelly of Bayville High! Or as we all call him…Principal Smelly!"
"Yeah that jerk invites us back to school so we can mess with the X-Geeks and when we do he expels us!" Todd snapped.
"Well look at the bright side Toad at least we don't have to listen to his boring speeches any more!" Fred said.
"Or smell his bad breath," Lance snickered.
"Or look at his bad comb-over," Pietro smiled. "But you know why don't we give our old principal a call shall we?" He reached for the phone.
"What are you up to?" Lance asked.
"Shh!" Pietro waved at him to be quiet. "Toad put it on speaker so the listeners can hear this!"
"Oh this is gonna be good," Fred chuckled.
"Hello? Bayville High School, this is Dorothy speaking. How may I help you?" The voice came on the intercom.
"Yes this is Superintendent Connery speaking," Pietro did an imitation of the latest school official. "I'd like to speak with Principal Kelly if I may."
"Um he's indisposed at the moment…"
"Oh for crying out loud he and you aren't at it again are you?" Pietro said using his best voice of indignation.
"Don't play dumb with me! Everybody knows that you two have been making out like teenagers for months! It's disgraceful! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Like that time at the Christmas party."
"Okay in my defense that door has had problems with that lock for months!" Dorothy shouted. "How did you know about that?"
"I didn't. It was a lucky guess," Pietro shushed the laughing Brotherhood in the back. "Just put him on! Now! And for the record I want the two of you to be more discreet if you want to go on a date. Necking in a car at Lookout Point! Disgraceful!"
"We've never been at Lookout Point! When was this?" There was sharpness in her voice.
"Uh…that wasn't you?" Pietro improvised. "Never mind. That's not important right now."
"Wait a minute…" Dorothy asked. "Was this around two weeks ago when we had that argument! I knew it! I knew he was seeing that new substitute teacher behind my back! When I get my hands on him…."
"Just put him on!" Pietro ordered. "You can sort out your personal life later!"
"That lousy two-timing…" Dorothy growled as she transferred the call.
"Something tells me that there is going to be a very interesting conversation pretty soon," Wanda snickered.
"Principal Kelly here."
"Kelly! This is Superintendent Connery!" Pietro grinned.
"Superintendent! What a surprise! What are you calling for sir?" There was nervousness in his voice.
"What do you think I'm calling about?" Pietro snapped. "My office has been swamped with complaints!"
"If it's about the water pipes bursting sir I swear it's those mutants who are responsible!" Kelly told him.
"This has nothing to do with that!" Pietro snapped. "Or the mutants!"
"It doesn't?" Kelly gulped.
"No! It's about you Kelly!"
"Sir I swear I don't know where the money went! I have no idea how a few thousand dollars disappeared from the books! I just found out about it myself! Maybe it's the accounting department!"
"Its not that you moron!" Pietro snapped. "Although thank you for reminding me. It's about you…yelling."
"Yeah we have you on tape acting like a nut! Screaming like a banshee in public! It's disgraceful!" Pietro snapped.
"What tape?" Kelly asked. "I'd like to see this!"
"Oh so you deny it?" Pietro
"Of course I deny it!"
"It figures you would deny it!" Pietro snickered. "You are in such trouble Kelly! I suppose you deny running around town in a dress too huh?"
"What do you mean? What are you talking about? What is that noise in the background? Is that laughing!" By this time all the Brotherhood were laughing wildly. "WHO IS THIS!"
"Just a couple of friends paying you a little social call!" Pietro laughed.
"I know that voice…" Kelly blinked. "That's….MAXIMOFF!!!"
"Bingo!" Pietro whooped.
"YOU BROTHERHOOD MANAICS!" Kelly shouted. "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU DELINQUENTS I'LL…"
"You'll what?" Pietro sneered. "Give us detention? Face it Kelly, you no longer have any power over us!"
"By Principal Smelly!" Todd blew a raspberry as they hung up on him. "Oh man that was priceless yo! Let's do someone else! The X-Geeks!"
"Good idea!" Pietro punched in the number. "This is gonna be good!"
"Don't answer it!" Xavier shouted as the phone rang back at the Institute.
"Why?" Scott asked as he picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Uh yeah this is a call from Flushing, New York," Lance grabbed the phone and turned on the sound of a toilet flushing.
"Alvers!" Scott snapped. "Oh very mature! What are you doing?"
"I thought I'd have to explain it to you. I'm making a prank phone call," Lance quipped. "You see what you do is…"
"I KNOW WHAT THAT IS YOU JERK! GET OFF THE PHONE!" Scott slammed it down. The phone rang again. Scott picked it up. "What?"
At this Lance blew a raspberry very loudly. "Oh yeah?" Scott snapped. "Well listen to this Rock Head!" He blew a raspberry back. Soon both of them were engaged in a rude noise debate.
"I told him not to answer it…" Xavier moaned.
After a few minutes Pietro hung up the phone. "As much as I'd love to hear the conclusion of this fascinating debate, let's move on to something else now shall we? By the way Lance I have changed my mind. You can have Summers as your rival. I don't want him."
"Hey we could take calls from the folks out there!" Todd said. "The phone's all lit up like a Christmas tree!"
"Good idea Toad," Pietro turned on the speakerphone. "Brotherhood Radio! You're on the air!"
"Hello…" A dazed voice called out. "Hello? Hello?"
"Goodbye!" Pietro shut it off. "Brotherhood Radio you're on the air!"
"Yeah mutants stink!" A male voice shouted.
"Not as much as you pal!" Pietro shut off the caller. "Look people if you're going to insult us try to think of something original huh? Next!"
"Uh…hey there," A girl's voice twittered. "Umm…not everybody hates mutants you know. In fact, some of us think you're kind of cute! Bye!" The caller hung up.
"Ah my adoring public!" Pietro grinned.
"Oh brother," Lance grumbled. "Just what we need, Quicksilver's ego to be even more inflated!"
"Quiet! Hello caller you're on the air," Pietro quipped. "The charming Quicksilver at your service! Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?"
"It's not going to be a pleasure when I get my hands on you Quicksilver," The familiar voice growled over the radio.
"Hey that guy sounds like Magneto," Fred said.
"IT IS MAGNETO YOU FOOL! QUICKSILVER WHAT THE DEVIL ARE YOU DOING?" Magneto shouted.
"Uh…Hi there," Pietro gulped. "Wait a minute! This isn't Magneto is it?"
"Nice try X-Geek," Pietro grinned. "I admit you had me going for a second there. But there is no way Magneto would call in to our show. He probably doesn't even listen to the radio!"
"Oh really?" The voice rumbled. Immediately all the metal objects in the room started to shake.
"You're calling from a cell phone ain't ya?" Todd gulped.
"YOU MORONS HAVE ABOUT TEN SECONDS TO GET OFF THE AIR BEFORE I…" Magneto shouted.
"Okay that's all the time we have today," Pietro cut him off. "Uh…we gotta be going now! This is Brotherhood Radio signing off!"
"I told you this was a bad idea!" Wanda said.
"Somebody's gonna get it…"Lance snickered.
"Oh shut up!" Pietro snapped.