When Rey's fingers curled over the ancient lightsaber, she immediately felt an overwhelming sense of familiarity. Even after the violent vision that showed her great and terrible glimpses into her own past and that of Kylo Ren was over, it was not that which made her recoil in horror.
It was the blade itself, that sense of -belonging- that made her drop it. The metal hilt was colder than the void of space, and she could feel the violent past that hung over it like a miasma. The firey blade was never quenched even after it had been dipped in the blood of thousands. It was a tool of a murderer, and then it was used by the son of a murderer on his quest for vengence.
And yet, the fact that she felt comforted by the lightsaber terrified her.
When Rey was trapped by Kylo Ren in those restraints, it was Rey who was able to trap Kylo Ren inside of his mind.
When he reached out to touch her mind, she recoiled in instinct and fright. His gloved hand hovered in front of her eyes, yet she saw nothing other than flashes of light and color. She was cold, tired, hungry and above all was growing frustrated and angry with his interrogations.
She instinctively took a hold of those sensations and pushed against the heavy weight on her thoughts. She threw her willpower against that of Kylo Ren's, a battle of the force in the purest sense. But, where Rey drew upon her anger and growing hate, Ren was divided by his own fear and insecurities. She got glipses of his thoughts, his feelings and she turned the tables on him, peering into his mind.
In a display of cruelty that she didn't know she was capable of, she gave a smirk even as she breathed heavily from the effort. "You...you're afraid of me, aren't you?" There was an alarmingly large part of her that was pleased with this knowledge.
And when Ren made his way out of the room, having blustered his way through the rest of their 'conversation', Rey knew that she was in control of the situation the entire time.
When Rey felt the heat of Ren's lightsaber threatening to kiss her skin, she wondered at how strong Ren really was. Even injured, he was more than a match for her, pushing her back to the edge of the abyss. She could feel the Dark Side rolling off of him in waves, his face an expression of anger and rage as he did his best to kill her.
She could feel the strength in her limbs fading, the cold and her own exhaustion eroding her will to live. And then, Ren spoke to her. "You need a teacher." He all but spat "I can show you the ways of the force! Join me!"
And there it was. "The Force." Rey breathed, closing her eyes in realization. She could feel that power all around her, inside of her very being. Just there for the taking, waiting for someone to command it. And she took it, feeling the rush of power as she embraced her feelings, the sensations around her being the perfect fuel. Her senses came into a hyper sharp focus, her body was filled with a renewed strength.
She almost effortlessly ended the saber lock, pushing Ren away from her as she readied her blade in front of her. She felt fully in command of herself for the first time in a long time, and the sensation was glorious.
Rey threw herself into an offensive, picking apart the figure that had made her life a living hell over the past several days. She took pleasure in humiliating him, inflicting several wounds upon his body, before looking down at his defeated form. The sight of his broken body made her pause, and within seconds the euphoric control over the force snapped, even as the earth crumbled around her, leaving her no chance to finish off Ren.
And when she returned to the Falcon, she found herself struggling with not with if she had it within herself to kill Kylo Ren, but how easily she found it was to picture herself ending his life.
When Rey found herself confronting Luke Skywalker, that legendary Jedi who had once wielded the blade in her hands, she was not worried about weather or not she was strong enough to learn from Luke, but if he was willing to train someone who's entire being was opposed to the Jedi way of thinking.
She was not peaceful. She was not humble. She was not passive. Rey was someone who could not stop, ever, not when there were things that needed to be done, not when there were still threats out there to her and her new friends. She knew that the First Order would not stop even after the destruction of Starkiller Base, not unless she -made them stop-.
The flash of rage that tore through her mind made her tear up with shame and bitter disappointment. Luke left the known galaxy because he had trained a pupil who was seduced by a dark sider, with said pupil even now being conflicted with his decision.
Why would he train her, someone who's very being was forged by struggle and conflict, who took to using the force to manipulate and kill like a fish did to water?
When he accepted the Saber from her hands after a long moment of silence, that unresolved 'why' hung over her head like an executioner's axe.
But...a very small part of her vowed that it would be her holding the axe over the heads of others, someday.
And there was absolutely no part of her that wouldn't be fine with that outcome.
Author's Note: Just a little bit of musing on Rey's darker nature that very few have seemed to touch on, when it was so readily obvious to me in the movie that it made me want to jump for joy. She makes for a far greater and scarier Sith than Kylo Ren could ever hope to be.
Please, enjoy the story, and leave a review. It might inspire me to write something else.