It was like she was drowning.
Every time the magic took over, she easily related it to drowning. She was sinking deeper and deeper into the depths of some sick insanity, and no matter how much she tried to swim up, it dragged her deeper.
The fact that Porlyusica was there to witness such a thing made her truly upset. She didn't want anyone to have to face her when she was like that.
She could feel everything. Everything. She could hear and see, and she knew and remembered what she had thought- what she'd done. And she truly turned into a dark mage in those moments. It wasn't some kind of 'take over' as she proclaimed to Porlyusica and Makarov, she was infected and she was afraid. She would snap out of it within an hour, though somehow that didn't make her feel better about anything.
How could she let this disgusting magic take over her like this? Was she so weak and helpless that she couldn't protect herself from such filth? From Zeref's own magic?
The answer to that question was precisely the reason she hated it so much.
What would her friends think? What would Natsu think of her?
At the thought of him, her mind was finally captured in a cloud of black that she had been trying to fight for the moment. She felt her heart suddenly constrict in her chest and it hurt, but somehow it made her happy in a sadistic sort of way that she just could not get enough of. She was staring down at an entry in some stupid book that was supposed to kill her, and she couldn't help but giggle.
"Sounds like fun."
Her body moved on its own, darkness sweetly caressing her thoughts and mind as she moved and spoke with her voice. She always loved to listen to herself… there was such a nice tone of madness that coated every syllable and it was just fantastically engaging.
"Death is always fun." She whispered to the healing mage, as if wanting to convey the importance of the message. "It's the thrill of the chase, you know? Will I live on, continue in this world of misery and regret? Or will death claim me? Will I be put into the ground, buried by the ones I claim to love?" She grinned at the pink haired woman, relishing in the way her crimson eyes sparkled with something so close to fear- but not quite. "What do you think?"
"I think you need to sit down and snap out of this." She responded sharply, the blonde pausing for a long moment as she just stared at the woman in silence. Her mind was whirling and irrational anger started to swell up within her, tilting her head as her smile slipped off her face.
"You didn't answer my question." She murmured to the woman, her eye twitching. "Answer it." Her hand twitched as well as she reached out to her, her fingers itching to bury themselves into her skin. She wanted her to hurt, to bleed. There wasn't enough blood… not enough to quench her thirst for it.
The woman flicked her hand away from her neck and Lucy felt a stab of sudden betrayal mixed with anger. She let out a few shaky breaths, as if trying to calm herself before she swung at the woman, her fist connecting with her cheek. She let out an excited puff of air as she laughed, her eyes going wide as she watched the mage struggle to get off the floor.
"All you fairies are so pathetic." She purred to her, kneeling down as she felt Zeref's dark magic swirling under her skin- begging her to release it. "You think you can take me on? You think you're strong enough to defeat me? To defeat Zeref!?" Her voice had risen to a yell and she stood back up as the old woman sat up, glaring up at her with a look that had her laughing. There was that attitude she knew and loved!
The one that would get her killed.
"You have no idea what you're up against." She said lowly, threateningly. A sense of euphoria started to build in her system as she reached down and picked the woman up by the front of her clothes, holding her up in the air. A grin twitched at her lips as she watched her squirm for a moment before locking gazes with her.
"You know, I never get to do this." She told her with the manic grin, watching her irises swim with confusion- it gained another short laugh. "I always lock myself up in a little room with nothing to destroy, do you know how hard that is? Just wanting to see the blood of that weak guild's people splattering the walls… that's all that I want."
Reaching forwards, she brushed her fingertips along her bruising skin, enjoying the way she flinched back at her touch. She gave her a toothy smile, a giggle falling past her clenched teeth. The woman swallowed thickly and Lucy's eye twitched with mirth as she raised her a little higher.
"Your blood can be the first."
The blonde threw the woman across the hut, listening with intoxicated glee as she cried out in pain. She laughed as the healer struggled to get up as she advanced towards her, watching as she exposed a nice place for her to kick.
She drove her boot into her side without any thought of mercy, watching the woman topple over with another deranged laugh.
"After you maybe I'll go after that pretty little girl." She told her, delighting in the way her crimson eyes widened in shock and slight anger. "I don't want anyone helping the fairies by healing their wounds. How pathetic of them, honestly. They just don't know when to stop fighting and let us good guys win." She said with exasperation, leaning down and smirking hugely at her. "Red is a nice color- the best, actually. It'll go well with your eyes once I finish painting this-" She was cut off by the door of the hut suddenly opening. Lucy's smirk turned into a frown as she watched a familiar pink haired man walk in, followed by his friends.
"Luce?" He called out for her in that disgusting voice and she found herself just wanting to tear his throat out. Crazed jealousy washed over her after a moment as she realized something.
Zeref wants him and not her.
"Makarov!" Porlyusica coughed out, the wizard saint entering the room the same time Lucy advanced forward towards him, murder in her eyes.
"You." She hissed venomously, watching as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and worry before she suddenly leapt at him.
They tumbled to the floor and she wrapped her fingers around his throat, gritting her teeth as she turned even angrier. She pressed against his throat as he grabbed her wrists futilely, her hunger to see him choke too much to ignore.
"He wants you. You and not me." She growled at him, squeezing tightly as she lifted his neck off the floor before slamming him back down into the floorboards, hearing them crack under the force she used. Jealousy flared in her chest as he struggled to breathe, making a rather pathetic sounding choking noise, and she wondered how on Earthland this idiot could be the lord's brother. He was weak and wasn't even fighting back like a fucking coward and-
Suddenly she was being ripped off of him and thrown across the room and out the door. The sun hit her as she tumbled down the stairs leading up to the old hag's door, and she rolled a few feet before settling.
With a groan, she pushed herself off the ground before she felt her hands start to shake.
If she was angry before, she was livid now.
Feeling something painfully empowering stirring under her skin, she stood up with heavy breaths. Her eyes met the Titania's and she was too fucking angry to care.
"You got in my way." She said lowly, a threat in her voice. "I suggest you step aside and let me finish with that weakling!" She yelled. "My lord doesn't know what he's talking about! I will kill him! Me!" Before she could even stop herself she started to laugh, the sound deranged and maddening and crazy and she loved it. It fueled the fire in her heart, but the second she returned her gaze to the red haired mage's, she froze.
Something foreign clawed its way up through her and she took an involuntary step back.
She swallowed as sweat beaded on her forehead, watching as the Titania glared at her, somehow promising her death in just one look.
And… it scared her.
"Stop." Lucy said, her voice now a croak as the requip mage kept her gaze steadfast, their eyes locked. "I said stop." She repeated, louder and somehow more desperate. She swallowed thickly when she didn't and she took a few steps back, placing a hand on her forehead as the fear flushed through her.
It was like she was frozen. Her body wouldn't respond and she could only think one thing, and it repeated like a mantra in her mind.
She's going to kill me.
She fell to her knees and she dropped forward, feeling a fear she had never felt before- and from one look from this… this bimbo. She realized faintly that her breathing had sped up and she was beginning to shut down. She wanted her to stop. She wanted her to disappear, to leave her alone to just fucking die.
A moment passed before something hard impacted her head and everything went black.
I'm just going to go ahead and stop apologizing for the wait. You all know how awful I feel for making you wait after that last chapter... but hopefully this makes up for it?
All your comments and follows and favs really do a lot to boost my inspiration, so thank you!
Probably from what you read at the top, there will be a few more parts to Lucy's POV. It's indefinite right now as to how many there will be, but there probably will only be two... so maybe not really all that indefinite but whatever!
I've been so excited to write this particular chapter, I'm just a procrastinator is all. For some reason, writing crazy people makes my heart feel so complete *sighs dreamily*
Anywho, thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed!