Act Two: Mary Sues, Trolls, and Balrogs. Oh my!

They raced through the tunnels away from the flaming monster. The creature's evil aura could be felt even from the ends of the great hall. Holding their weapons close, they ran down the steps towards the bridge of Khazad-dum. The stairs collapsed under their weight as they fought to stay on them. Before they reached the bridge, a mighty blast of light hit the Balrog, and sent it flying in to the pits below.

Turning to look at this stranger that had saved their lives, their grateful expressions turned to that of abject fear. Frodo was the first to recover. "Run for your lives, it's a Mary Sue!" Screams from the Hobbits echoed as they ran across the bridge.

The Dwarf and Boromir were next, followed by Aragorn. As Legolas crossed he made sure Gandalf was following. When the Wizard stopped mid way, he did too. "Why have you stopped, Gandalf?"

"I can not let this evil loose upon the world." He turned and faced the Mary Sue as she raced towards the bridge, arms waving.

"You who, Legolas! It's me, your one true love! Come back to me, my love!" Her high pitched voice was sickeningly sweet.

Legolas shuttered at her presence and backed away slowly, not wanting to alarm the beast. He reached out for Gandalf, but his hand was shaken off. "Come, Gandalf, we must go before it is too late."

"It is already too late, the beast has seen us. You must go, go now while you still can!" He shoved the Elf towards the other side of the bridge as Mary Sue started towards them. Half way across, his staff lit up and a ball of energy formed around him. "I am a servant of the Secret Fire, Wielder of the Flame of Anor!"

"I don't care who you are! Get out of my way, old man!" She tried to get passed him, but bounced off his aura. "What the Fuck? That does it, you are really asking for it, grandpa! Get the hell out of my way!"

"Back you evil!"

"I will have my Legolas!"

He brought up his staff. "You shall not have his ass!"

Then he brought it down and struck the bridge causing the rock to shake and brake apart.

"What the fu...." Her words were lost as the bridge collapsed under her feet. As Gandalf turned to join the others, her hair lashed out and wrapped around his ankle, dragging him down over the edge with her.

Falling, he grasped the edge of the bridge and stopped just before his head reached ground level.

"Fly, you fools!" and then he was gone.

End of Act Two.

End of Scene Five.

The End???

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