Title: Don't Fall Away
Spoilers: Community Policing
Summary: He let his head fall onto the cool plate glass window and let out a soft sigh. Then he remembered their horrible fight after her grand jury testimony. He'd played dirty, and he knew it.
A/N: Written for mcgarrygirl78 as part of the SVU Secret Santa exchange on tumblr. I did my best to incorporate one of your prompts into this. I struggled. And I'm sure it shows. I hope you like it anyway. I know this is also right down to the wire, and I do apologize but sometimes that is just how it goes. Right?
Rafael Barba stood up from his desk at One Hogan Place and headed straight to look out over Manhattan. The first snowflakes started to fall quietly onto the unsuspecting people below, and his mind couldn't have been further from the snowfall.
Instead, he had an overwhelming desire to return to the beach off the Jersey shore. The same beach in which he'd kissed her and made his intentions known. He remembered the way her mouth had fit to his, the way her body had pressed in against him as his arms had wound around her.
He let his head fall onto the cool plate glass window and let out a soft sigh. Then he remembered their horrible fight after her grand jury testimony. He'd played dirty, and he knew it. His eyes clenched tight as the knot in his stomach grumbled in frustration; too much coffee, not enough food.
His lips parted slowly, "Liv..."
He had to see her. That was as simple as it was. And it didn't matter if she'd refuse to let him in. He'd stay as long as it took. He grabbed his jacket from the coat rack and discarded tie off his desk and left everything else where it lay. He'd come back for it later. Or it would be there in the morning. Whichever came first.
Noah played quietly on the floor with his toys as Olivia sat with her barefoot tucked under her on the couch. Lost in thought, she couldn't get the words they'd shouted at one another out of her head. She closed her eyes, letting her head fall back onto the couch and let out a soft hiss, "Damn it, Barba."
It was always Barba when he'd made her mad. If she let him be Rafael then, she'd never make it. She pushed herself up quickly and strode to the large window that looked out of her living room. The snow was falling faster now, and all she wanted was to go back before SVU caught this case and change things somehow. Then they'd be okay.
She leaned her head on the cool glass and remembered the way his lips had felt on hers that first time. He tasted of sea salt, and she'd loved it. So much. Her eyes began to tear up, taking her totally by surprise. She turned slowly, catching sight of Noah as he stood and toddled toward her. After scooping him up, she hugged him close. He laid his head on her shoulder and remained quiet.
He had always been a quiet baby. Something that unnerved her in the beginning, but that she understood now. He was a content little being, and nothing hardly ever upset him, but when it did, she could hardly console him. She patted his back gently and kissed his forehead. "Everything's going to be okay, my precious boy. I promise you..."
The knock at her door interrupted her. She frowned, knowing who would be on the other side of that door. She was far from ready for it, for him, for any of it. But she placed Noah back onto the floor with his blocks. "Be a good boy, Noah, and play with your blocks for Mommy." She kissed his head and ran her fingers through his baby fine hair before moving to the door.
Looking out the peephole to be sure, she had her intuition confirmed. As she pulled open the door, her hand came up to stop whatever it was that started to tumble from his mouth. "I'm not sure if we should be doing this now."
He hadn't intended on taking no for an answer, and he pushed passed her as he took her hand. Still melting snow clung to his winter jacket and he didn't care that it was getting all over the floor at her door. He pushed the door shut and leaned back against it. "I'm not leaving her until we do..." he insisted.
She frowned, shaking her head. "This is my home," she pointed out.
"I know, but you're my home. Noah is my home." He looked around her, peeking at the boy that had yet to spot him. He gripped her hand tighter, pulling her closer. "Liv, you know I didn't want it to come to this. It was the right thing to do."
All of her resolve had crumbled at the mention of the two of them being his home. Everything faded away, turned into nothing more than a bad memory. One she knew that she wouldn't forget, but one that she knew she would fight like hell to deal with and overcome.
Losing him wasn't an option.
Her mouth crushed to his in a chaste kiss that lasted only a moment. She pulled away only to bury her face into his neck and breathe, "You played dirty today,Barba."
He nodded, wrapping his arms around her back, keeping her pressed into him. He whispered, "I know, and I am sorry. It may not seem like it. Liv, but I am. I truly am." He pushed her back slightly, keeping a grip on hips as to not push her to far. His eyes met hers, searching them like his entire life depended on it.
"As I watched the snow fall, I couldn't help but remember when we went to the beach..." It had been snowing then as well. In fact, they'd almost turned around, but Olivia had insisted he keep going because they both needed a break from the squad, from their jobs. And he'd only have regretted had he ignored her and returned to the city.
"And you kissed me as the snow began to fall harder. I remember," she breathed. Her hand came up to press against his cheek. "It's really coming down too." She leaned forward, pressing her head to his and breathing him in. She didn't know how, but he smelled of sea salt then too. Her lips pressed to his once more, needing to taste him. Her tongue moved along his lower lip, seeking what only he could give her.
He parted his lips, allowing her entrance. The kiss deepened and before he knew it, his hand tangled in her hair. A soft moan escaped between them, and he had to pull away as Noah's tiny arms wound around his leg. He smiled against her mouth. "Someone's wanting my attention." He bent slowly, scooping the child up in his arms delicately as he hugged him to him with one arm and his mother with the other.
"Will you always come home?" she asked him quietly, almost so softly that he hadn't quite heard her. "Because I don't think I can do this without you. In fact, I know I don't want to."
He knew she could because he knew she could do anything, but he liked that she wanted him. Because he knew he'd be lost without her. Without Noah, too. His hand slipped from her waist and pressed against her cheek. He let his thumb ghost over it before he leaned in and kissed her mouth tenderly. "Always, Liv. Always to Noah and to you. Just forgive me. Please?"
"Always," she breathed as she pressed closer to them both. Noah struggled to get out of his arms them, and he toddled off as he was released to return to his toys. She hugged him tightly then, breathing him in. She never thought she'd ever be able to get enough.
He lead her toward the window with his arm slung loosely around her waist. They looked out as the snow fell down in heavier drifts, blanketing the sidewalks outside. He whispered, "I don't ever want to lose you."
"And you won't, Rafael."