A/N: Ten chapters of texting fic (in which Kuroo cannot text for shit and Tsukki is a little grumpy butt) and one chapter of... not a texting fic :) you'll just have to see when you get there.

Honestly very self indulgent and just a bit of fun :)

They may be a little OOC (because they're grown up and texting I think allows a certain tsundere megane to be a little less reserved).


Monday

[03:36] Me
Sending image file…
File sent.

[08:47] Unknown Number
OHOHOHO what do we have here
what a lovely sight to wake up to (・ω)

[09:03] Me
Shit. I am so sorry!
My arsehole not-friends stole my phone while I was passed out.
I would appreciate if you would erase that picture.
I apologise profusely.

[09:04] Unknown Number
why were you passed out
secret underground fight club or drunk

[09:06] Me
Uhh… Does it matter?

[09:06] Unknown Number
its tru both those make u sound cool
one DOES makes u COOLER tho B)
guess which

[09:06] Me
Fight club. Obviously.
Do I know you…?

[09:07] Unknown Number
u sent me a pic of ur arse and u dont know me…?
ohoho arent we a cocky sonbitch

[09:10] Me
Considering how your texting is descending into indiscernible babble I assume you're not the type of person I'd usually associate with.

[09:10] Unknown Number
ur right u sound like a law student with a stick up his arse
which isn't, however, grounds for dismissing this fun convo
also ironic bcoz im a law student

[09:23] Me
So… Why are you still texting me, random stranger who's seen my arse?

[09:23] Unknown Number
honestly im bored af
plus ur actually pre fun to talk to
and u have a nice arse
always good incentive

[09:25] Me
Okay, this is ridiculous. Who are you?

[09:25] Unknown Number
iunno musta had my numbr somehow
mayb one of ur not-friends knows me

[09:26] Me
As long as you erase the picture it doesn't matter.

[09:30] Me
Have you erased the picture…?

[09:37] Me
Hello?

[09:44] Unknown Number
if i say its hot can i keep it

[09:44] Me
Abso-fucking-lutely not.
In fact that makes it more imperative you delete it.

[09:45] Unknown Number
buuuuut its so cute (.◜ω◝.)
tell me why the dino print underwear

[09:45] Me
Oh my GOD, this is not happening!

[09:47] Unknown Number
r u like a palaeontologist or something
the dino print is adorable

[09:48] Me
No. DELETE THE DAMN PICTURE!

[09:48] Unknown Number
woah bro no need to yell
im serious here u have a really nice arse
this thing needs to b worshipped
plz tell me u have someone to worship this ona daily basis

[09:49] Me
I don't.
Please, for fuck sakes, delete the damn picture.

[09:50] Unknown Number
i volunteer as arse worshippin tribute
i bow down to those buns ( ◜◒◝ )

[09:54] Me
Okay, you're fucking weird.
Are you a guy…?

[09:54] Weirdo
ohohoho! i do believe that is the first bit of curiosity from unknown hottie
what u r in my phone btw
i am indeed a dude
i can tell ur gay too (・ω)

[09:57] Me
There is no possible way for you to know that from ONE picture.
Even if it is of my arse.

[09:57] Weirdo
mayb i know u O.O
also no denial so obvs u r gay

[09:59] Me
If you know me then what is my name?

[10:02] Weirdo
ok so mayb i lie
but damn dude id like to know u

[10:07] Me
Because of my worship worthy arse in a picture that SHOULD HAVE ALREADY BEEN DELETED.
Makes perfect sense. You don't want to know me, I'm an arsehole.

[10:08] Weirdo
i like arseholes
in every sense of the word (^_-)

[10:15] Me
Lovely.

[10:15] Weirdo
lol ok ok im sorry
ill delete it
if u give me a week

[10:23] Me
A week for what?

[10:24] Weirdo
to get to know u

[10:26] Me
Delete it now and you have a 50% chance of receiving responses for the next week.
Take it or leave it.
Either way YOU NEED TO EREASE THE FUCKING PHOTO.

[10:26] Weirdo
lol i like ur agro its cute
someone with dino underwear, texts like a lawyer and is an arsehole
defs worth gettin to know

[10:29] Me
If you say so.

[10:40] Weirdo
tell me the names of ur not-friends and ill tell u if i know them
just their given names if ur concerned
i swear im not a weirdo
if u have my number our friendship groups have to be close right

[10:41] Me
I'm not concerned about them, they're my not-friends remember?
Also the more you say you're not a weirdo the more you sound like one.
Tobio, Yuu and Ryuu are the likely suspects.

[10:41] Weirdo
dunno em
what about actual friends

[10:42] Me
Uh, Tadashi and (begrudgingly) Shouyou.

[10:43] Weirdo
hinata shouyou
the energetic shrimp with a smile as blinding as his hair

[10:44] Me
That's the one.
How do you know him?

[10:44] Weirdo
mystery solved! good work scoob (/^▽^)/
hes friends with my bff kenma

[10:45] Me
You did not just say "bff", what are you 12?

[10:48] Weirdo
interesting why is it 12s the go to for immaturity
wouldnt a younger age b more suitable

[10:48] Me
What are you a philosopher?

[10:49] Weirdo
law student pay attention cute arse
although theyre kinda similar
need to b able to talk out ur arse for both

[10:50] Me
Apologies if I do not remember every fragment of information my phone slash arse stalker is giving me about himself.

[10:50] Weirdo
apology accepted
also ur sass is almost as cute as ur arse
aka extremely effing cute

[10:53] Me
Remind me to represent myself when I need a lawyer.
If lawyers are like you it seems like the safer option.

[10:54] Weirdo
implyin ill b around to remind you ;)
and implyin ur gunna do something naughty
i like it

[10:56] Me
Die.

[10:56] Weirdo
oh cute arse how you wound me (。•́︿•̀。)
do u have hobbies
aside from dinos obv

[10:58] Me
I really don't like dinosaurs that much.

[10:58] Weirdo
sounds like a straight up lie to me
ive seen ur underwear remember i kno the truth
nobody buys dino underwear without purpose

[10:59] Me
Someone bought them for me. No purpose.

[11:01] Weirdo
HA! guilty!
ppl wouldnt buy u dino underwear UNLESS they knew u liked dinos
lawyered

[11:03] Me
Okay fine. Dinosaurs are cool. Are you happy?
They're still not a hobby.
What is your hobby?

[11:03] Weirdo
u love dinos soooo cute
moooore curiosity :D
u kno what they say about curiosity
my hobby is swimming thank u for askin kind stranger

[11:07] Me
Swimming? Your hobby is swimming? That is a sport.

[11:08] Weirdo
swimming cant be a hobby?
outside of school work (lawyerin) and chillin with my bros i don't have much time for other stuff
netflix and chill or gaming with my bff

[11:10] Me
I have class, weirdo-who-won't-leave-me-alone.

[11:10] Weirdo
ok ^_^ ill talk to you later cute arse