Summary: If there was one thing a Schnee prided themselves on, it was control.
The Concept of Control
Mirror mirror, on the wall
Tell me who's the loneliest of all?
If one were to ask her how it happened, she wouldn't know where to begin.
One minute they were talking and laughing like old friends, and then suddenly she had crashed her lips onto his.
She didn't know how she got to this point. She didn't know why she got to this point. All she knew was that once it happened, she craved more.
More, more, I need more.
It was only seconds and yet it felt like minutes. Her heart was engulfed in heat and it spread through to every limb. Burning. Scorching. Incinerating. It felt like she was on fire.
Please, please, don't let this end.
She didn't know how it started. All she knew was that it did. Something so chaste evolving into something so hungry.
In these minutes that were seconds, she saw a little girl in a room, curled up and crying and alone as the yells of her father rang from his study. So lonely. That girl was so lonely. She was so lonely.
Passion. Desire. Loneliness. Ah, loneliness. So much loneliness.
Oh god I'm begging you, don't let this end.
It was hypnotic. It was terrifying. The very idea of releasing oneself from their inhibitions and freefalling in space, waiting and trusting for someone to catch them.
Her heart was still burning. They may have only been seconds that felt like minutes, and it may have hurt, but it felt so right like the universe had aligned itself to gift her just one perfect mome-
He stepped back. His eyes stared at her with a mix of confusion and regret. Minutes turned into seconds as she became aware of what had happened.
"I… I can't," he said. "You know I can't."
Flashes of red and green flew through her mind. The laughter. The cheeriness. Blinding. It blinded her.
"You're right," she said. "Sorry, I didn't mean…"
Her heart burned again, but for all the wrong reasons.
Hurts. It hurts.
"I should go," he said.
"Yeah," she replied. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. We'll just try to forget that this happened, yeah?"
It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts-
"Yeah." She averted her gaze as the heat reached her eyes and tears threatened to fall.
The presence of his hand hovered over her shoulder before he thought better of it and made his exit. Good. Heaven knows she would have broken right there and then in that room in front of him.
Deep breaths, deep breaths.
She stumbled into the bathroom and took several deep breaths. Cool. Calm. Composure.
I am fine. I am alright. I am okay.
The fire still burned. It hurt. Oh how it singed her entire body.
I am fine. I am alright. I am… I am…
Her eyes were still barely holding back unshed tears when she looked up in the mirror.
The little girl looked back.
Mirror mirror, on the wall
I guess I'm… the loneliest of all.
The Concept of Control Fin