Title: I've Got a Strange Disease

Author: Katie Mariie

Notes: The wonderful poem that inspired is by Michaela and is called Hawkeyes Poem.

The title comes from a Simon & Milo song.

Most People say it's a disease to be gay,

I wonder how they come to this conclusion.

When we cuddle together in this special way,

It feels so right, there's no more confusion.

I'm ready for every price I have to pay

I love you, John, and that's no illusion.

-Michaela ___________________________________________________

Yesterday, I heard about some kid whose parents shipped him off to some de- homosexualization camp a.k.a queer rehab. That's sick. The parents not the kid.

Imagine treating sexuality as a disease. It's particularly funny for me because I'm the guy who has to see disease and illness everyday. On the two letters after my name I swear that homosexuality is not a disease. Polio, disease. Hepatitis, disease. Influenza, kind of a disease. Homosexuality, notta disease.

If anything homosexuality is a medicine. When I come back from 48 straight hours of standing in piles of dying children my only saving grace (besides the still) is Trapper John McIntyre via homosexuality. That's what keeps us sane. Look at Frank; he walks around with Hot Lips all day and he's crazier than all of us. Then again walking with Hot Lips will do that to anybody.

Did I tell ya that those.things tried to get some kid dishonorably discharged because he ate at the other end of the diner? Imagine what they'd do if they walked in on me and Trapper. I wouldn't mind going home but it would be on my permanent record and I wouldn't be able to treat patients. Fuck that. But Trapper's got kids and homosexuality means no custody, no visitation, no nothing. Frank and Hot Lips are the diseased ones.

But, maybe I'm biased on the homosexuality thing. Root, root, root for the home team, right.

Maybe homosexuality is a disease. The church actually says that homosexuals *get* diseases. Like fleas and lice. Me and Trap are doctors and we have found not one flea, louse, or stigmata on either of us. And believe me, we searched very well. Strictly medical, though.

Oh, crud. Choppers. Hopefully, a few of them will only be suffering from homosexuality.