Things I Cannot Do in Amity Park

#21) The GIW are not toys and I am forbidden from stepping within a mile of them.


Class started off fairly normal. Danny paid attention–almost sending everyone into a fit of worry–and did his work while secretly plotting today's fun.

School was almost over, and Danny was starting to run out of ways to implement his ideas. He wanted Amity Park to get a clue already, but halfway through his plans, he started just having fun messing with everyone.

"Why didn't I do this years ago?" he laughed quietly, unaware of the wide looks his classmates sent him at the sound. Lancer's class would end in a few minutes and everyone would head to their next period. Danny placed a hand on his chin and ran several ideas through his head.

"I don't like that look," Dash voiced, facing Danny who sat behind him.

Danny hummed. "Well, I was thinking about bringing a negative camera and showing everyone what they'd look like once they succumbed to the inevitable end of their own existence–"

Someone near them whimpered.

"–But, I'm not that mean," Danny finished, sighing. "Plus, I don't think I need to send more than two Freshmen a week to the nurse's office."

"You sent four last Friday."

Danny closed his eyes and leaned backwards into his crossed hands with a smile. "That was a good week."

Lancer approached them, reaching for the finished quizzes on their desks. "Hello, Daniel," he voiced as he walked past. "Made anyone cry today?"

"Sadly, no, but it's only 10:30."

"Please, do stay away from the Freshmen. I'm still paying for their therapy."

Danny threw his hands in the air. "At least none of them have moved away."


The bell rang and Danny walked with Dash to the direction of their lockers. The hallways were relatively clear as several students did their best to avoid being in the halls as the same time as Danny Fenton. They learned the hard way that any and all students were susceptible to his whims at any given point in time during the school day.

"So, if you're not doing the whole 'this is what you'd look like as a ghost' thing, what are you planning?" Dash asked, warily. He pretended to be searching through his locker as he watched Danny from the corner of his eye.

"Well, I haven't made a bomb in a while," Danny thought out loud, ignoring Dash as he took several steps away from him. Anyone within hearing range froze.

"But I don't really have the energy to appreciate blowing something up right now," Danny sighed, looking disappointed. Around him, the students relaxed and carried on with their day.

Dash remained a safe distance of 12 feet.

"DANNY!" Paulina screamed, rushing out from the corner of the hallway. She was holding some sort of newspaper in her hand and waving it frantically as she pushed everyone aside. She passed Dash in the middle of the hall, giving him an odd look at his distance.

When she reached the teenager, she shoved the newspaper into his hands. Danny blinked down at it. "Um?"

"Read it!" she insisted, settling against Dash's still open locker. Said jock was slowly making his way back towards them.

Danny stared at the headline of the trashy article where the GIW did what they always did best: claimed that Danny Phantom was a nuisance to society. "This is literally an everyday occurrence. Honestly, Paulina, you don't have to defend Phantom's honor every time"–

Paulina's eyes were as hard as steal. "The bottom half."

He continued reading and let out a soft, "Oh, well that's a dick move."

The beautiful Latina girl tore the paper from his hands when he was done and screamed out her frustration. "Exactly! I cannot believe they'd use children."

Dash looked over her shoulder and read the bottom half of the article with a disturbed look on his face. "They want permission to look at the dead bodies of kids for 'research purposes on ghosts and the afterlife' okay, wow, yeah that's way too far, even for them."

Paulina turned to Danny again, eyes flashing under the florescent lights of the school hallway. "Do something."

"Me?" Danny asked carefully, feeling anticipation and hope fill his chest. "What could I, powerless Danny Fenton, possibly do to stop this?"

"You've practically dismantled the entire social and academic structure of Casper High in a week," she explained, eyes narrowed. "Even the principal won't go against you anymore."

"Well, I'll give you that," Danny said, sighing and hunching over with dropped shoulders. "And you were so close, too."

Paulina frowned. "What?"

"Nothing." Danny's frown started to turn into a grin. He ran over the possibilities in his head, thinking of all the ways to get back at the GIW for years of Phantom hating propaganda. "But if we're doing this, we'll need help."

"We?" Dash squeaked, jumping when Danny suddenly grabbed his and Paulina's hands before racing down the hallway. He almost tripped as he was pulled against his will. "We?"

They passed Lancer's class in a hurry, brushing by the teacher who poked his head out to call after them, "Where are you three going?"

"TO SEEK REVENGE UPON OUR ENEMIES!" Danny cackled, ignoring Dash's terrified yell and Paulina's cheering.

Lancer nodded. "Okay, be back before lunch."


"This plan will require Danny's greatest strength," Sam whispered to the group that stood huddled in the forest outside of the GIW laboratory after skipping school. The distance wasn't that far, so once they located Sam, Tucker, and Valerie they walked only a mile to find it.

Danny grinned. "What, my eyes? My dashing good looks? My ability to pass intangibly and invisibly through walls–"

Dash startled, remembering the locker incident. "Wait."

"–or my wonderfully devious mind?"

"Your obnoxious personality," Sam supplied.

Danny blinked at the group. "That'll work."

Valerie hummed, rubbing her chin and giving Danny an appraising look. "He is very annoying, but annoying enough to hold the GIW's attention while looking black-haired and blue-eyed? I don't know."

"You underestimate my ability to make enemies," Danny exclaimed, placing a hand over his heart. "All I had to do was own a dog for you to hate me." The glare he received from Valerie did very little to ruin his fake offended look.

Dash didn't want to know. He really didn't want to know.

He asked anyways.

"A dog?" he voiced, eyeing the four of them.

Danny turned, smiling. "Ah, yeah, I may have lost control of this ghost dog that could turn into a really big ghost dog, and it kind of got loose and ruined Valerie's entire life. I'm very good at that."

"Letting ghosts loose?"

"Ruining lives."

Dash and Paulina were very concerned when Sam, Tucker, Valerie, and Danny himself nodded.

Dash suddenly wasn't sure setting Danny on the GIW was such a good idea. Maybe they should just destroy their lab and the entirety of their lives' work in research. It'd be far more merciful.


When they finished debating, the plan was simple. Get in, destroy shit (enough to make the GIW decide to never follow down the path of using the corpses of dead children again), and get out.

Everyone should have known by now that when Danny Fenton was involved, things were never simple.

They debated having Danny be the distraction, but apparently the security was light today. It started easy with everyone sneaking in wearing a disguise of some sort: hat, glasses, facial hair etc. They split into groups: Paulina and Sam, Tucker and Valerie, Dash and Danny; and easily found the areas where the GIW kept their research. There were only eight guards total on duty–according to Tucker who somehow hacked into their security system (and no, Paulina and Dash were NOT going to ask because just nope).

They found the files on the research, along with several torture-y looking devices that Danny sent an extremely frosty glare at before allowing Dash to ram them with a hammer. They tried their best to ignore the body bag they found that may or may not contain what they wished it didn't contain.

As they were leaving, however, Danny and Dash just so happened to run into a dead end. "This was totally the right way," Danny voiced, staring up at the wall.

Dash grabbed a fistful of his own hair. "Oh god, we made a wrong turn. What are we going to do?"

"I could just go through the wall"–

"Not the time, Fenton!"

Danny huffed. "Well, then, we need to turn around. Use the Fenton phones Sam gave you to tell everyone…" he slowly trailed off when they heard the sound of footsteps coming down the hall.

A guard turned the corner and both he and the teenagers froze with wide-eyed looks as they stared down the hallway at each other. There was a tense silence.

Then, Danny's mustache fell off. "My identity is revealed," he gasped, pressing both hands over his cheeks.

The guard sprang into action, yelling into the radio attached to his shirt and warning the other guards there were two intruders in their facility. He was jerked out of his state of anger and panic by Danny pushing his hands on his shoulders and launching himself over the guard.

"Time to go!" he cheered, leaving his fake mustache on the ground. Dash ran after him, screaming.

They turned several corners they didn't recognize until they finally ran into Sam, Tucker, Valerie, and Paulina near the surveillance room. An alarm was blaring overhead.

"Goddamn it, Danny," all four of them cursed in various levels of intensity.

Danny pretended to be offended. "It could have been Dash's fault." Sam gave a pointed look to the terrified jock who appeared to be a second away from a mental breakdown. "Okay, yeah it was my fault–but for once, not on purpose," Danny exclaimed, cheerfully grinning with his hands on his hips.

Valerie grabbed him by the shirt. "Remember that really dumb thing you did?"

Danny blinked up at her. "Listen, you're going to have to be a bit more specific there."

"Go cold, Fenton," Valerie ordered, staring deep into his eyes when they widened. "Distract them while we escape."

Danny laughed, sounding far more eager to do whatever Valerie suggested he should do than Paulina or Dash were comfortable with.


The GIW agents were frantic. They'd already contacted their supervisor about the breech, but they had yet to locate the people who broke in. The first guard had sent over very little information other than something about "kids" before he was cut off by laughter, and the remaining GIW men were starting to panic.

Three of them turned the corner and were hit with a blast of cold air.

"Damn air-conditioning's broke again," Agent K growled, rubbing his arms and continuing forward.

"Is it getting colder?" a rookie agent voiced the longer they walked.

The agents refused to be intimidated by cold air, but their instincts were screaming at them by the time they made it to the end. There was a feeling of apprehension growing as the shadows on the walls appeared to move.

Suddenly, a small voice came from around the corner that had the agents pausing to listen. "Is that humming?" Agent L asked, bewildered.

The sound was familiar, more than likely a song they had heard before, but the eerie way it was sung sent shivers down their spines that had nothing to do with the cold. The atmosphere felt heavy.

They readied their weapons when a pale looking child turned the corner, humming softly as he ran a hand over the wall. He had black hair that almost look blue, with bright, glowing blue eyes and tiny specks of frost covering his cheeks. There were dark circles under his eyes and his skin was a dull grey color, lacking warmth.

Despite the oddity, the agent's weapons still didn't recognize the being as a ghost. "STATE YOUR NAME AND BUSINESS," Agent L shouted, aiming his gun. The two other agents followed suit.

The child continued to hum, watching as frost bloomed wherever his hands touched, as if fascinated by it. He finally turned those unnatural blue eyes towards the agents. The grin on his face stretched wider than humanly possible as he titled his head, having not yet blinked once since appearing.

"Are you the ones who took my body?"


Sitting outside the facility with the rest of the group, Dash shivered at the terrified screams that came from inside.

Next to him on the grass, Sam sighed into her hands. "Looks like all the Fentons will have restraining orders from the GIW now."

Valerie raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?" she asked, thinking of Jazz's kindness, Jack's happiness, and Maddie's intelligence.

"Oh, yeah," Tucker laughed, looking up from his PDA that showed the footage of Danny terrorizing the GIW agents. "If you think this is bad, you should have seen Mr. Fenton when he broke in."

"Granted, he did it because he's a huge fan of the GIW, but did he really have to hospitalize half of them?" Sam wondered out loud, shrugging.

Another scream came from inside. "What is wrong with this family?" Dash whimpered.


Rule #21 was originally "I will not give Danny Fenton sugar," but I'm using some of the ideas I had for something else so I scrapped it. Because I haven't updated this in like a month, here's a long chapter (2k words!)

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