A/N: Hello, people!
I don't own Harry Potter or Naruto.
I have no beta.
CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR. HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON. I FOLLOW BACK.
-THIS IS A PROMPT BY TSUME YUKI. FOR ANYONE WHO MAY WONDER WHY THIS SOUNDS SIMILAR, I KNOW OF TWO OTHERS WHO TOOK UP THE PROMPT AND THEIR STORIES ARE 'AIN'T NEVER HAD A FRIEND LIKE ME' AND 'THE GENIE'. I'M GOING TO TRY TO PUT MY OWN SPIN ON THIS IDEA.
-PROMPT: FEM-HARRY IS THE MoD, SHE AGES(THOUGH I MADE IT SLOWLY AT THIS POINT) BUT CAN DIE FROM GRAVE INJURY. SHE GETS SEALED INTO A LAMP(OR BOTTLE IN MY CASE) AND TOSSED INTO THE VEIL OF DEATH WHERE SHE MEETS NARUTO AND HELPS HIM OUT.
-I HOPE I'M TAKING THIS IN ANOTHER DIRECTION THAN THE OTHER TWO FICS. HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL! THIS IS A FEM-HARRY/KAKASHI BUT ROMANCE ISN'T THE CENTERPIECE.
The original prompt is in Italics below. When you come across it in the fic later, I changed some words and added a few to make it lean toward my purposes.
PROMPT: Ain't Never Had a Friend Like Me, by Tsume Yuki.
"So, So you're like a genie?
Staring back at the figure before him, Uzumaki Naruto took a moment to look back on the last ten minutes.
He'd been in the streets of Konoha, not the main street because that's where all the glares came from. Well, not all of them, just most. And then, and then someone had thrown a lamp at him! An old, scratched up tin thing that Naruto honestly hadn't thought existed outside of the story books.
He scampered home, not really logging the fact that he was clutching at the tin decoration until he was sat up to his kitchen table and staring at the dirty surface. The idea had teased him, half remembered from a story long ago, but the more he stared at his newest, useless item, the more the thought had refused to leave.
While the vast majority of his mind insisted that this was a stupid thing to do, a small, hesitantly hopeful part sent his heart throbbing for reasons unknown.
So it was a great surprise when a form of mystic smoke began to gather from the top of the lamp when he'd actually given it a little rub. Staring up at the figure with all of the wonderment a twelve year old orphan could possibly possess, Naruto didn't even bother to fight the grin that split across his lips. A young woman stared back at him, a bemused little smile on her face.
THERE WILL BE HETEROSEXUAL AND HOMOSEXUAL PAIRINGS IN THIS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Hari glared at the people before her. If it wasn't one thing it was another. She was always the one people needed to be their sacrifice and the moment things went wrong, suddenly she was found wanting in the eyes of the British Ministry and made into the most undesirable being on the planet.
Since the end of the war, Hari had been targeted three times and this time - if she ever managed to make it out of this situation unscathed - she was not going to forgive. There was a saying about forgiving and never forgetting and she never forgot. This time, she wasn't going to forgive either.
The prior times this occurred, she'd been exonerated rather quickly and everyone kissed her arse, trying to make up for thinking so badly of her, but the sheeple never learned their lessons! The Ministry came up with some sort of reason as to why she was an evil or bad person, everyone lapped it up like the sheep they were, and then when she was proved to have not been guilty for whatever treason they accused her of, she was their number one hero once again! Honestly, she was going to get whiplash from all this back and forth business.
"I could take care of them at any moment you wish me to."
She rolled her eyes, resolutely not looking in the direction of the omniscient being standing ten paces to her right. They inhabited a dark corner of the atrium, just waiting for her to get fed up with everything and simply order them to murder everyone before her.
Hari was not the sort to stoop to another's level unless given just provocation in her own eyes. Death did not always have to be the answer to everything and no matter how much she really wanted the Minister - dodgy codger that he was - to drop dead at any moment, she knew his sudden death would not mean anything pleasant for her. Also, she was trying to wait it out, to see how long she could go before she finally ordered Death to murder someone outright.
So far it had been forty-three years since she became the Mistress of Death. She had yet to make use of their abilities in regards to killing people and was on a roll. She was sure that nothing could convince her to use Death's powers for her own personal gain. But then again, never say never and all that tripe.
"I could easily make them suffer," Death continues, a smirk lacing their tone.
These nitwits knew not who was standing before them. They didn't fully understand that meaning of Hari being the Mistress of Death. The most they knew was that Voldemort had made himself immortal with the darkest of magics and since Hari hadn't aged much since she turned twenty-one, it was a little suspicious.
Not to say that wizards didn't age at a much slower rate than muggles did, because a normal, healthy witch could make it to one hundred and fifty without a problem and old age began showing around ninety to magical humans. Ninety was like the midlife crisis stage. Hell, one hundred year olds who were in good health could still birth or sire children!
So it wasn't shocking that Hari still looked relatively young at the age of sixty. It was just… no wrinkles, no growing or shrinking in height or body mass, her health with exception of terrible upbringing, was good, and every check up she had showed her to be twenty-one years old. Almost as if she was frozen in time like a vampire, but she was still obviously human and still aged, just two times slower than a magical human did.
Doctor/patient confidentiality wasn't such an important thing in the magical world, it seemed. Or at least, not important in Britain.
Word got out and the first assumption was that she sold her soul to a demon for eternal youth. Since she still has her soul, that idea was shot to bits rather quickly. Another was that she had become a Dark Witch, but she could still do a Patronus - though that shouldn't matter since Snape had been a Dark Wizard and could produce a perfectly corporeal one without issue - so obviously that couldn't be it either. Someone suggested that since she had once had a piece of Voldemort's soul inside her - how the bloody hell did that bit get out into public knowledge? - maybe it altered her mind and soul. That was the first time she was incarcerated without a trial.
Of course a routine check of her tiny flat showed that she barely had any possessions for them to go through and since she wasn't parting with information on ancestral homes, they could not conduct a raid of her manors.
Death held onto the Deathly Hallows while she sat in a cell. They whispered to her through the bars, from above her, even sat on the cot beside her, telling her she didn't need to put up with the injustice. She however had a multitude of patience back then and refused their words.
When nothing was forthcoming and several scans showed that she was still a Light Witch and there was no taint of Darkness within her, she was released. She then proceeded to sue every single person that didn't give her a trial and by law, they ended up owing her a lot of money if they didn't want to go to prison. Frustrations were high those few weeks.
Hari was quick to end her connection with the Goblins after her Goblin lawyer was gravely insulted by the current Minister of the time. She removed everything from the bank because she knew that anger was kindled and refused to have anything of hers within Gringotts when the Goblins decided on another war.
Her riches and possessions went into several trunks, which then went into a large trunk, which was then given to Death to hold into. Great Britain deserved the oncoming war if they continued to treat hard working beings like that and she would not help them.
Of course during the first attack of the Goblin Nation, in which several people died, including Ron and Percy Weasley and Neville Longbottom, people looked to her to save them and while Hari felt deeply for the loss of her friends, she wasn't going to fight in another war. She was sick and tired of wars and battles and having to fight people. She just wanted to sit back and relax. Maybe finally start a relationship that would last. Finally get a family after all the years of waiting. She had no time for wars!
That was the second time she was accused of being Dark. Because she wouldn't fight the Goblins, she must have sided with them. They tried to imprison her unjustly again but she simply disappeared, leaving them with the words, 'Maybe if you treated them as they should be treated, this wouldn't have happened. Stop expecting me to fight your battles, you're all adults, save yourselves.'
Magical Britain survived the attack of the Goblins but much was lost. The doors of Gringotts were sealed, leaving thousands upon thousands without any money and nearly no way of supporting themselves. Public outcry was assured and people began placing blame. Who else to blame, but the one who refused to fight for them again.
Hari was so sick of their whining that she finally returned to the 'real world', facing all of them right in the center of the Ministry atrium and tearing them down for being so lazy.
"You have magic!" she had screamed. "You don't even need money to live, but you're so codependent on gold and status that you can't see that!"
She raised the Elder Wand and called out, "Aguamenti!" drenching the conglomeration of people with the string of water that burst from her wand. "You have fresh water should you need it! There are people among us who know how to magically clean and cook and sew! Who can create houses magically or even Transfigure and Charm objects. You are only as hopeless as you let yourselves be!"
Hari was quick to take her leave then, because while she had said her peace, she knew that only a few of them would take her up on it. The magical world was in for it because it was Magical Britain that forced the Goblins into a war state and now that every other magical community could not access their wealth, magic was all they had left. People from all over the world were sending Howlers to the British Ministry, complaining over what they did.
But it was magic! Magic that could do all sorts of things! Why did they choose to limit themselves when they could do so much! Hari had planted and tended to her own garden, leaving her with enough vegetables to last her awhile. With preservation charms, food lasted much longer.
So the lazy bastards might actually have to learn to do some things on their own, like planting gardens for example. So what? It was either living in poverty or living comfortably. Already, several muggleborns and halfbloods raised muggleborn had retreated to the muggle world because obviously the magical one was in shambles. What sane person still wanted to be a part of that?
People broke the rule against underage sorcery all the time now because they needed all the help they could get. The moment the law was repealed, things changed even more.
Hari finally decided to venture into the public eye, so many things had changed. Of all the people to win the newest election, it was a Parkinson and he was not pleasant.
He immediately put a hit out for her head and just like the sheeple they were, Magical Britain fell for it again.
His mother Pansy had filled his head with a load of rubbish from the former wizarding war and he wanted to avenge her for 'what Hari did to their great and noble family'. He spun some good tales, she'd give him that. But as a Slytherin, she really wasn't surprised. Cunning and Manipulation were some of the key traits of Slytherin House so the fact that he could utilize both wasn't a shock. Of course his ability when used on great Britain really wasn't a shock either. The sheeple were too easy to manipulate.
Hari had been 'on the run' for the past nine years and only recently let herself be caught because she was curious as to what would happen this time. Death stood by, offering to kill every single person before her and she denied their request because it wasn't a good enough excuse yet.
Parkinson read off the list of 'charges' as well as calling several people to witness against her. Her Parseltongue ability was mentioned, her connection to Voldemort was thrown in there, her use of a dark curse throughout the war, how she nearly killed a fellow student with Dark Magic, the list went on and on.
"Just one word and all of them will be dead," cooed Death, most likely hoping she'd acquiesce to their plans.
"Miss Potter, how do you plead?"
"I'm sorry, I can't hear you," she said calmly, hoping to rile Parkinson up.
"How do you plead?" Parkinson repeated, already looking ready to blow. She'd seen similar looks on Vernon when his blood pressure rose too much.
"Sorry, my brain isn't wired to translate Stupid, you'll have to use a language I understand."
There was a snorted laugh from somewhere in the back of the room. No one else found her cheek funny though. Parkinson looked ready to explode though.
The man growled and without even a word, he raised his wanted and shouted, "Avada Kedavra!"
Screams erupted and Hari blinked in the light of the curse that hit her squarely in the chest but had no effect. She looked up, waiting for the next round of whatever Parkinson was going to throw her way.
The sheeple were looking at Parkinson in horror and Hari couldn't help but capitalize on their fear.
"This is your leader!" she announced. "He condemned me for using an Unforgivable during war time - which is actually legal when protecting others, mind you - but he used it right now even though I hadn't been found guilty yet. Congratulations, you've chosen well! Who will he try to kill next?!"
The Aurors were already approaching and Parkinson cast a wild look around, before his beady eyes landed on Hari. He glared, pulling something from one of his many pockets and hissing, "Servitudo, Hari Jamiel Potter!"
The object, a large, magenta colored bottle, opened with a pop and a smattering of pink and purple smoke erupted from within, quickly spreading and thickening, covering Hari's frame from toe to head.
Death's enraged shout told Hari that whatever this was, it wasn't good. Still, she could feel her body tingling, as if this unknown magic was changing her. When she opened her eyes, she was stuck in a small, circular room, decorated with lavish, purple pillows that formed a circle. In the empty center was a clear tube that lead up to where the opening must be. There was no ladder though so she didn't know how to get up there when she couldn't actually see and opening.
Parkinson ran for all he was worth, dodging all the curses and hexes the Aurors were trying to down him with. He'd promised that he'd get rid of Potter once and for all. His mother had made him Vow to do it! He just needed to get to the Veil. Once the bottle was inside, Potter would be lost to them forever and his Vow would be complete!
The Death Chamber was cold and eerie and voices called from the Veil, beckoning him closer, trying to trick him into entering as well.
One of the curses managed to hit him in the shoulder and he cursed, feeling all the bones shatter at the same time. They honestly weren't holding back. And to think they were just wishing for Potter's destruction for using the same type of magic! And they would dare call him a hypocrite!
Rearing back, Parkinson flung the bottle forward with his good hand and smirked in triumph as it passed through the Veil. The wispy, smoke like insides turned a bright shade of red and a chorus of unearthly howls rang through the chamber.
Though he was currently surrounded by Aurors and would no doubt face Azkaban, he and the people of Britain's magical law enforcement watched in trepidation as the Veil began to shake and the wisps of fog within in, swirled more fiercely. The light withdrew inward and the stone of the arch itself turned crimson.
The ground shook and the gathered wizards and witches were blown off their feet when the arch imploded, leaving nothing behind but dust and grains. The backlash spread through the room, leaving the gathered party breathless.
Parkinson grinned maniacally, knowing that his Vow had been completed. Hari Potter was no more. Popping off the stopper on the small vial in his good hand, he raised the vial to his lips.
Parkinson drew his last breath with pride, because he'd done what not even the Dark Lord could do!
"Where am I?" Harry demanded, fixing Death with a glare.
The being stood there, taking up the small amount of space she was able to make by levitating the heavy pillows on top of each other.
"You are in a bottle, Mistress. You have been confined here until someone rubs it."
Her jaw dropped, "Like a genie?!" Were those even real? She'd never read anything about them.
Death nodded, "I was able to interfere enough to stop you from being enslaved, but I cannot remove you from the bottle. Someone else must do that. This is magic that was created by a goddess after all."
"So I'm basically stuck in this tiny room until someone rubs the bottle?" she asked, already feeling the horror.
"Do you think I can use the Elder Wand to blast my way out of this?" she asked, rapping her knuckles against the curved wall, testing its strength.
Death produced the Death Stick easily, handing it over and allowing her to unleash every blasting curse she knew.
Holding the wand aloft, the witch took a deep breath and began channeling an enormous amount of magic, the white light building at the tip of the wood.
The blast was enough to send her reeling, smashing into the other side of the room and landing on the gathered pillows with a loud, 'umf!'.
Death simply stood by, allowing her to curse to her heart's content.
"So I can only get out if someone conveniently rubs the damn thing?"
"Yes," they clarified. "You won't be bound to them though. You could leave the moment you are free."
Hari sighed, rolling over on the surprisingly comfortable pillows. "So genies are real?"
"Yes. Real ones are rather terrible though, because they play innocent and trick you into wishing for their freedom. If you wish them free, you take their place."
Her jaw dropped at the thought of eternal servitude to someone and shuddered. At least Death had managed to stop that from happening to her. Wait…
"Why did you stop me from being enslaved?"
"You are my Mistress," shrugged the being. "If you are enslaved to someone then I too am at their mercy and unlike you, I highly doubt there are many people as selfless."
So it was a self serving kind of reason. She could live with that.
"So… where are we?"
Death's cloak ruffled just a little and a skeletal hand rose, mimicking people who checked their watches for the time. "Another universe."
"As in… with it's own planets and stuff or like another dimension of the same planets and stuff?"
"First, there are more than one dimension and more than one universe. Foolish mortals are the only ones to assume they are the only forms of intelligent life in their respective universes. This Earth we are on, resides in a different universe altogether and consists of nations of people who possess affinity with the elements. Some are born as mixes of two and use chakra to create new elemental affinities or abilities. This planet Earth parallels another planet Earth in another dimension of this universe, where there are only four large nations and each represents either fire, water, earth, or air, and with beings able to bend their own element to their advantage."
Hari whistled in amazement, because this was suddenly sounding much more interesting than the drama she had been forced to leave behind.
"So you're just Death, right? There are no other Deaths out there?"
"Correct," Death nodded. "I have servants who collect souls for me, but essentially, I am the only Death in existence."
"Good," she nodded. "Just making sure there is no competition when I get the hell out of here."
She really didn't want to be trapped for years in a tiny bottle with barely any entertainment. It was pretty and all, with jeweled walls and silk pillows and a really comfortable carpet, but it was just too small and too plain for her tastes. Not even a book to be seen!
Hey, wait a minute!
"You have my trunks still?"
Death raised a hand and from their cloak sleeve, dropped a large, black trunk with the initials HJP on the lid, in green script.
She had stuff in there! Of course that didn't mean she wanted to be in the damn bottle forever, but it would pass the time.
"Can you possibly manipulate someone into letting me out of here?" she asked the being who was silently regarding everything she did.
"I'll see what I can do."
They were gone seconds later.
"I found someone," Death announced, popping into the bottle while Hari was sprawled out on a pillow, reading.
She glanced up with interest.
"You need to aim a water spell up the chute and the water will come out of the top. The boy will want to wipe it off I'm sure."
"Boy?" Hari asked, already putting the book away. It took Death barely any time at all to find someone. She'd only gotten to chapter ten after all.
"An orphan," the being explained. "He was walking through town and was assaulted with the bottle. He decided to keep it because he liked the colors."
"What's he like?" she asked, hoping this wasn't another case of Tom Riddle.
"In this universe, this dimension in particular, there are creatures that possess near godlike ability and in order to control them so they don't rampage and destroy the world, they are sealed into people. This boy was sacrificed on the day of his birth to protect his village from the greatest of these beasts, which had attacked a wrought much destruction upon the land. The current leader forbade anyone from discussing it and the boy doesn't know that there is the equivalent of a demon sealed within him.
Just because the mortals can't talk about it, doesn't mean they can't hate or mistreat him. The boy has no friends, he is hated by nearly everyone for no reason that he can see, his parents died to protect him, the children were told to ignore him or bully him. He has no one and he lives alone. Yet he is nothing like Tom Riddle."
To go through all of that and not be like Tom? Really?
"I think you'll find… him to be rather interesting company," Death said, vanishing from her view and leaving her to her thoughts.
'Nothing like Tom' meant that he couldn't be so bad, right? Hari could acknowledge that Tom did not get the way he did all on his own. Other people and their lack of help in his young life helped shape such a terrible person. So if the boy went through worse than Tom ever had and yet managed to come out as nothing like him, he had to okay, right?
Knowing that she wanted to get the hell out of the bottle, she drew the Elder Wand and shrank her belongings, deciding to take the monstrous pillows with her. They were nice enough and it wasn't like anyone else would be using the damn bottle once she left. It was going to be destroyed.
But… the boy was an orphan. Orphans clung to what little they owned. She would know from experience. Maybe she could duplicate it or something. Then he wouldn't lose his new possession.
Nodding to herself and liking where her planning was leading her, she pointed the wand up the clear chute and said calmly, "Aguamenti."
The water did go up and thankfully it did not heed gravity because it was actually escaping through something above her head. She popped herself into the chute, trying to see where the opening was.
"AHHHH!" came a loud, muffled yell.
Hari was moving them, her entire body exploding in a rush of purple smoke and shooting upward. She could feel herself being squeezed through a tiny hole and decided that this had to be the most atrocious form of magical travel ever. She was never doing it again! Never. Again.
Hari found herself laying unceremoniously on a cold, wooden floor that was incredibly dusty.
"You-You came out of the fancy bottle, -ttebayo!" a voice yelled, a little rough almost as if from overuse.
She shook herself and stood, only stumbling twice which was saying something considering how she had been all over the place after her first Floo Travel and her first Portkey. And then of course was the time she first Apparated. Bad times. Very, very bad times.
"A pretty lady came out of my pretty bottle!" the voice cheered.
Hari looked up, meeting bright, ocean blue eyes. And the rest of her senses were assaulted by the hideous amount of orange the blond before her was garbed in.
"What the bloody hell are you wearing?" she couldn't help but ask as she stood.
Uzumaki Naruto didn't really know what was going on but he wasn't about to ignore this new awesomeness! There was a pretty lady in his kitchen! And she had yet to run away too!
"What the bloody hell are you wearing?"
That was the first thing she said.
Naruto looked down at his jumpsuit. He could hear the faint disgust in her tone and he wondered what was so wrong with it. He thought it was great!
"It's the best jumpsuit ever, pretty lady!" he answered. "And it's orange!"
"My name is Hari," she said, still staring like his awesome jumpsuit was the ugliest thing she had ever seen.
Why could no one appreciate the amazingness that came with the color orange? Not only was it the best but Jiji had been the one to get it for him so obviously it was cooler than anything else the stores of Konoha had to offer!
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I'm gonna be the Hokage! -ttebayo! Nice to meet you, Hari-nee-chan!"
They were not speaking English. What the bloody hell were they speaking if they were not speaking English?
"I forgot to mention, everyone in this world only speaks Japanese and now you do as well," came Death's voice from a corner behind Naruto. Death materialized out of the small shadow there, hands spread out as if in apology or a gesture meaning that no insult was offered.
What kind of world only had one language?!
"This world actually has dozens of forms of sign language," the deathly being asserted, backing away slightly when she glared.
"I was just saying," they mumbled. "I made it so you comprehend and speak the language, Mistress. You are welcome."
And with those snarky words, Death was gone and the small chill in the air disappeared.
Okay, so only Japanese. That was great and all, but what the hell was a 'Hokage'? Fire Shadow? What kind of fire had a shadow?
Back onto other matters, this was the orphan boy whom Death claimed was nothing like Tom despite living a worse life. He looked too happy and cheerful to have the kind of life she heard of.
She looked around, noting how bare the room was beside the table and the fridge. Both looked worse for wear too. There were no dishes, but there were a lot of plastic cups lying about the floor and on the table was a pair of chopsticks. The glass cover for the lightbulb overhead was broken and the bulb itself was only half lit, the other half dark from burning out no doubt.
There was a lot of dust and she could honestly believe that he lived alone. What child liked cleaning anyway? Of course he would let his house get messy since he wouldn't want to clean it! Cleaning was really boring!
"You came from my bottle, and… only genies come from bottles so, so you're like a genie?"
"So, so you're like a genie?"
Staring back at the figure before him, Uzumaki Naruto took a moment to look back on the last ten minutes.
He'd been in the streets of Konoha, not the main street because that's where all the glares came from. Well, not all of them, just most of them. And then... and then someone had thrown a bottle at him! Nothing new there, but it was the bottle itself that caught his eye. An old, scratched up thing that Naruto honestly hadn't thought existed outside of the story books. Genies rarely lived in bottles, right? Mostly lamps.
He scampered home, not really logging the fact that he was clutching at the magenta decoration until he was sat up to his kitchen table and staring at the bejeweled surface. The idea had teased him, half remembered from a story long ago, but the more he stared at his newest, not so useless item, the more the thought had refused to leave.
While the vast majority of his mind insisted that this was a stupid thing to do, a small, hesitantly hopeful part sent his heart throbbing for reasons unknown. And if it didn't work, he could always pawn it.
So it was a great surprise when water began spouting from the top and a form of mystic smoke began to gather from the tip when he'd hastily began wiping it off. Staring up at the figure with all of the wonderment a twelve year old orphan could possibly possess, Naruto didn't even bother to fight the grin that split across his lips. A young woman stared back at him, a bemused little smile on her face.
And she was suddenly on the receiving end of the most fiendish pair of puppy dog eyes that totally put Fred and George's eyes to shame! This boy was one of the ones to look out for, that was for certain.
"So if you're a genie, do I get wishes?!"
He was bouncing up and down now, obviously excited at getting wishes.
Hari winced, biting her lip and wondering why she didn't just haul her arse out of there.
Because he's just as alone as you are, a voice in her mind whispered. The similarities between you are endless. He needs someone and you have no one. Why not help him out a little? the voice suggested, sounding oh so sugary and sultry.
Feeling a little guilty for thinking of just abandoning a child who quite obviously needed all the help he could get, she gave a slow nod, trying to think of that one Disney movie she'd seen. Aladdin. What were Genie's stipulations?
"There are some… rules that I can't get around though," she told the boy, who was suddenly all serious. It didn't look right on such a bright and happy face. She resolved to not have him be sad, fearing that perhaps the sun would go out otherwise.
"I can't kill anybody… so don't ask."
He looked horrified at the suggestion. Good. A good head on his shoulders.
"I can't make anyone fall in love with anyone else," she kept on, thinking of Tom Riddle Sr. and Merope Gaunt. She refused to be the reason someone was raped. That kind of thing was terrible and now that she was older and had more time to understand, she could look at their situation objectively and realize that both were in the wrong and Merope was a creep.
Forcing someone to love you and marry you and have sex and a child with you… no. That was terrible. She would have no part in something like that.
Finally, she finished with, "I can't bring people back from the dead."
"Yes you can!" Death interjected, earning themself a glare. "What? I'm just saying that you actually can."
They were gone the next second.
"That's it?!" Naruto asked, looking excited once more.
"Yes," she nodded. "Those are the laws I cannot break," she lied. "Other than those, some things would be a bit difficult to do since I can't just create something from nothing, but we'll get to that later."
"So… where am I?"
The bubbly blond proceeded to proudly inform her that she was in Hi no Kuni in the great village of Konohagakure. Why anyone would want to hide a village in some leaves, she'd never know, but that was where she was and at least knowing about her surroundings would benefit her some.
A 'Hokage' was the village leader and in this case, Naruto dearly wanted to be the village leader so people would look up to him and respect him. From what Death told her and what little she gleaned from the boy, next to no one liked him, so he figured that if he was the leader, then everyone would have to like him.
It was sad.
Hari had hoped for something similar when she lived with the Dursleys. She thought that if she did everything they wanted to the exact mark that they demanded, they would eventually love her. Eventually, she realized that nothing she did would ever be good in their eyes and she resolved to give up ever trying to please them. They weren't worth it anymore.
Naruto had the same goal and she really didn't want to be the one to burst his bubble, but people didn't just suddenly like you simply because you come into a position of power. She would know. Her people had come to resent her existence and she wouldn't wish the drama she survived, on anyone. Especially someone as sweet and innocent as Naruto.
"So what do you learn in school, Naruto?" she asked, wanting to get a good picture of his life. If his house was in shambles, he ate instant noodles all the times, and wore really old, ratty clothing, then his life was probably really low. Did he even go to school?
"How to be a ninja! -ttebayo!"
Ninja? As in, those people that dressed in all black and sneaked around at night with their shuriken and masks and stuff? The ones who assassinated people?
"What does being a ninja entail?"
"En-what?" he asked, head tilting to the side, eyes closing to a near squint.
"What are the demands for being a ninja?" she re-worded the sentence, hoping that it helped.
"OH! We learn Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, and Genjutsu. Taijutsu is hand to hand, Ninjutsu is where we use our chakra to do cool stuff, and Genjutsu is like illusions… I think. I'm not smart so I might mess up."
She frowned, "You are pretty smart to me. I don't know any of this stuff but you've been able to tell me so much."
She had been told she wasn't smart all because she was a more hands on learner. She didn't want him to think so negatively about himself. He was too young and impressionable for that. All that negativity now could be detrimental to his health later on in life.
The boy flushed and rubbed the back of his head, "Thanks, nee-chan, but I'm really not smart. I don't like reading 'cause it's boring and I can't pay attention for too long 'cause it gets boring. I have the worst grades in the class and half the time I miss lessons for always having detention and punishments. I'm not that great."
"Wait, you have detention during class?"
She shook her head insistently, "You're not supposed to have detention during class, it's supposed to happen after school. They shouldn't make you miss class at all. Don't you get make up work?"
"Um… no?" he said, looking unsure.
Her teeth ground together in annoyance. Of course the people hated him so much that they even went so far as to sabotage him! It was like Vernon lying to the chairman of her primary school about her being a delinquent. Trying to ruin her before she could truly begin.
She'll have to see what could be done about that.
"When do you graduate?"
Naruto confused expression drooped into complete devastation. "I've failed the Genin graduation exam twice already."
"How old are you?"
"I turned twelve in October! -ttebayo! And I really want to graduate this time because I'll be the same age as everyone in my class this year!"
Twelve! Twelve year olds graduating?
"So then, if you had chances to graduate before, that must mean you're better than your classmates, right? Did you start early or late or something?"
Naruto's head tilted again, "Ehh… I started the same time as everyone else. I got lots of chakra so got most of the Ninjutsu down and my Taijutsu is okay. So long as I get the passing grade on the written test, I can try for the graduation exam. The only problem I've had is the Bunshin. I can't make clones for some reason! It's why I fail every time."
The boy looked dejected as if resigned to his fate and Hari felt for him.
"Do you know why you can't do it? Is there a method that you have to use, or words or something?"
"No, I know my hand signs really good and I know the steps it's just… watch this!"
He stood and backed up a few feet before putting his hands together and closing his eyes. A deep look of concentration passed over his features making her believe that he was really trying to get it right.
"Bunshin no Jutsu!"
There was a poof of smoke beside him and for a second and near perfect replica of Naruto stood to his right. But then… it was like a balloon that lost its air, deflating until is was almost cloth like, just laying on the floor. More 2D than anything else. Like a colored sketch.
"I finally got the coloring right, but they keep doing that. They blow away in the wind too."
"Are you putting enough power into it?" Hari asked, knowing that sometimes certain high level spells didn't work for younger wizards and witches because their magical cores weren't large enough to hold the necessary amount of power required for certain spells.
"Uhh… I was given detention that day so I don't know. Iruka-sensei never said my form was wrong so I'm sure it's not that. He's always making sure my hand signs are good and he yells when I do pranks and buys me ramen when I do something right."
So he didn't even know how much power was supposed to go into the technique because conveniently he missed that class due to being in trouble. She was really beginning to wonder what was going on if even the administrators allowed such a thing to go down. Weren't teachers supposed to be trustworthy? Mind… Hari had never had any worth her trust so she really couldn't complain, but come on! It was the principle of the thing.
How was he ever going to get anywhere in life if he could only trust one or two people?
"Well, we can go to the library and see if they have books on it."
The blond groaned and sank into his chair. "I hate reading!"
She cast him a curious glance, feeling something familiar ringing in her ear. "Is that because it doesn't have pictures, because it's boring, or because you can't actually read?"
A dark flush crawled up his cheek and he looked away, muttering about how everything was in 'Kanji' and he wasn't that great at reading 'Hiragana' because some of the 'characters' were too similar.
So he couldn't even read! She wanted so badly to bash her head off something. Something metallic. All she had was a wooden table with unsturdy legs. It would have to do.
"Nee-chan, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, Naruto."
He'd need to improve. In order to gain and retain knowledge, he'd need some help.
She was not a Potions Master, but she was pretty good and if she could get her hands on the ingredients necessary, she could brew him a Wit Sharpening Potion. Being able to think more clearly would allow him to pay attention, especially if he was having trouble concentrating in class and during schoolwork.
It was a fourth year potion so she shouldn't have any trouble with it. Never say never though.
"First order of business is to get to the library and get the books we'll need. If you're going to be a ninja, you need to be well rounded, right?"
"You know, lots of different skills, right?"
"What kind of skills, nee-chan?!" he asked, bouncing in his seat.
"Cooking, hunting, foraging, sneaking-"
"I'm a great sneak!"
"-manipulating, I guess fighting, whatever that clone thing was, and probably other stuff too. I don't know much about ninjas."
"Nee-chan, I don't go to the library 'cause the mean lady at the front won't let me in," he said, pouting to the max.
Hari sniffed, "Well I'll make her let you in."
He threw his hands up and gave a loud cheer! "Banzai! -ttebayo!"
He was out the door in a second and Hari grabbed the genie bottle, doubling it and then shrinking it and slipping it into her pocket quickly, before following him out and casting a small locking spell on the door and an Impenetrable Charm over it and the visible windows. It wasn't enough to keep out a witch or wizard, and probably a ninja too, but civilians and muggles weren't able to break through and she considered that good enough protection until she could think up something better.
Following the blond to the main street was an experience and a half. For a second, she had a flashback of walking in Diagon Alley for the first time. All of the buildings were weirdly shaped and seemed to defy the laws of gravity at every turn. Some leaned over much like Gringotts had and she wondered over how they were structurally sound.
One was uneven, reminding her of The Burrow. It was so… very strange.
"Are you coming nee-chan?"
She blinked, returning to the present and sending Naruto a kind smile, "Yes. Lead the way, squirt."
The woman at the front desk was probably the most annoying person Hari had ever had the displeasure of meeting. The insidious glare she sent Naruto's way was enough to make the poor child cower behind Hari who actually wasn't that much taller than him. She had even opened her mouth, no doubt to say something terribly vitriol, when Hari raised her hand and said, "Confundo."
The woman's entire body shuddered as she proceeded to blink away the immediate effects.
"You were about to let us pass," Hari said in a stern tone.
"I… I… right," the woman blinked slowly. "Right, go on ahead."
Hari pulled Naruto along before the woman's head cleared and rolled her eyes at the reverently whispered, 'awesome, -ttebayo' coming from the blond she was tugging along.
"Wait here," she ordered, slipping off deeper into what was labeled as the 'Genin Section' and covering herself in a Notice Me Not Charm so no one would see her taking anything. She grabbed all the books that caught her eye. She slipped off her left earring and transfigured it into a small bag the size of a coin purse. Adding an Undetectable Extension Charm, she made it capable of fitting the chosen books and proceeded to dump her wares inside. They'd be returned when they were no longer needed.
Once she was sure she had everything, she slipped the bag in her pouch and went to get Naruto, canceling the Notice Me Not along the way..
The boy brightened upon seeing her round the corner, but it turned to confusion when he noticed that she had no books with her.
"Did they not have anything?" he asked.
"I got what we need," she assured him, flashing a dazzling smile to calm him down.
The two took their leave quickly, Hari not wishing to draw unnecessary attention to themselves.
"Is there a trading station or a pawn shop around here?" she asked, certain that he actually wouldn't know the answer but it would be foolish not to ask anyway.
"Uh… there's a pawn shop in the center of the village. I was going to take your bottle there to get some money," the boy admitted, another flush covering the bridge of his nose.
She knew the struggle for food and money. No child should go through that.
"Well, lead the way then."
He did so gladly, jabbering away as he told her all about the shops they passed and what exactly each of them sold or at least, what he thought they sold. As they walked, she could see the looks of hatred and disdain the villagers sent the boy's way and she sent more than a dozen stinging hexes in different directions, hoping that some people would learn their bloody lessons!
In the pawn shop, Hari removed her other earring and proceeded to haggle its worth with the man behind the desk, who tried to claim it wasn't worth much.
"This is a real ruby you fool. I'm certain you'd like to have it, wouldn't you? Confundo!"
The man shivered and blinked, nodding along with her suggestion. "Yes. Yes, I would."
Hair cut Naruto a quick look and asked, "How much do you think it's worth, squirt?"
"Five thousand Ryo!" he stuttered suddenly and Hari grinned, repeating the number to the man, who nodded vacantly and opened his register, doling out the strange currency of the land.
Hari handed over the ruby and silver earring and bade the man farewell, thanking him for his business. They departed hastily, for the same reason they left the library the same way.
"What are you gonna do with it, nee-chan?" Naruto asked once a safe distance away.
Hari knew all about struggling for money and worrying about when she'd next eat. With a deep breath, she answered lowly, "I'm going to make more money with it."
Naruto led them back to his flat, where she spread the notes out on the table, layering all the ones of a certain number together.
Casting Naruto a look she said, "I'm about to double our money. Gemino!"
The notes glowed for a second, before returning to normal. Hari pointed to the smallest note and ordered, "Poke it."
The boy did so slowly, gaping when the note glowed and seemed to pop, making a second appear right beside it. Looking over, he began poking all the other notes, giggling with glee as they too popped and exploded into more and more notes. By the time he finished, the table and a good part of the floor was covered in the strange currency of this Earth and Hari canceled the curse.
She felt no guilt whatsoever in duplicating the money because they boy needed it and if she was going to be staying with him, she intended to fix his home up. Besides, they were perfect replicas and no one would be able to tell the difference.
Counterfeiting was illegal but as no one would ever find a difference between the originals and the newer ones at least in this universe, she felt no guilt.
"Naruto, I would like to inform you that any other way of doing this is illegal and therefore you should never replicate and print money illegally, okay?"
He nodded seriously, "Okay, nee-chan."
"And you can't tell anyone about this or they might try to take me from you and demand I do it for them," she added for extra incentive.
"Never!" he swore, little chest puffing out importantly. He was so cute!
"Good, now let's gather this all up and we can look at those books."
An annoyed groan was like music to her ears.
"So you plan to stay here?" came Death's crackling voice from behind her.
Flipping her dark hair over her shoulder, she sent them a stern look.
"I'll take that as an affirmative."
A/N: The first is done!
How was it? Let me know!
Check out my other fics.
See ya! :D
CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR. HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON. I FOLLOW BACK.