My *writers block* series. No beta, no deep feelings, and a sensationally lack of angst.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the other characters. They belong to J. K. R. only. 

What the **** is going on here?

By Aradia Violet

Chapter One: Ron


"Ginny! Are you coming?" It was the 10th time or so I was calling for her. I stood on the staircase, pummelling the banisters. She'd occupied the bathroom for a whole hour, and if she didn't get down here soon, we were going to miss the school train. Mum, dad and my elder brothers were still in Egypt; they'd sent Ginny and me back to the Burrow the day before yesterday, since we were the only ones that still went to Hogwarts.

" Just a minute" I heard a muffled voice say. I shifted my feet. How long can it take to put on some clothes and make-up? I thought irately. When had she even become aware that make-up even existed? To be honest, my only sister had changed a lot since she came back from her fifth year at Hogwarts, and my sixth. And those two months we'd spent at home had actually just made her weirder.

Harry had been here the whole summer, except when my family and I'd been in Egypt. He'd seemed a little weird he to, if I came to think about it. He and Ginny had stayed at Ginny's room all the time, but perhaps that wasn't so peculiar; they were together, after all. They only came down to eat or to say hello, and then they disappeared. Mum was slightly unenthusiastically to let then share the same room, but at the same time she was absolutely sure that Harry was a well-mannered young man.

Even if I felt guilty about it, I found myself several of times eavesdropping, trying to figure out what the hell they were doing in there all night and day. But there were no sound. Not anything testifying that they were inside the room at all. Not even Hermione, who also stayed with us during the holiday, had a clue about what was going on.

One day when they came down for breakfast, both looking exhausted, I asked them what they did all the time. They just waived me away, telling me not to worry. And it wasn't hard to do; in spite of the tired expression and the ash-like spots on their faces, they seemed happier than ever. It had to be love, I thought smilingly. And I've known Harry way too long to try forcing out something he doesn't want to tell. Then they left, again.

But even the fact that my little sister was dolling herself up for her boyfriend wasn't a good enough reason to come too late to school.

"The taximeter's going" I reminded her. "I don't think dad's gonna be happy when he gets the bill."

"All right, all right, I'm coming!" I heard her feet pounding the stairs as she climbed down. Finally! I raised my face to see her coming down, and my jaw dropped instantly. It wasn't my sister I saw standing there! My sister didn't have long black hair. She wore light jeans and t-skirts those days we went to the muggle-world, not black mini leather-skirt. And my sister definitely hadn't got a piercing in her belly, clearly seen below a tiny black one-shoulder top. Besides, the Ginny I knew didn't bother putting on sparkling jewellery, like those the girl in front of me was wearing.

And I couldn't even in my wildest dreams imagine my sister was capable of looking so hot!  

I was astonished. She just smiled her most charming smile, swept past where I stood frozen to the floor, and headed to the door. There she stopped for a moment, eyeing me smugly.

"Well, I thought we were in a hurry," she said sugary, and vanished out the door. I was snapped back to reality, and ran after her.

"What the hell have you done to yourselves?" I almost spluttered.

"Isn't that quite obvious? I've lengthened my hair, coloured it and got some new clothes. Gee Ron, you're not blind." And with that she entered the car's front-seat, shot the door with a bang and opened her handbag. As I seated myself I saw her taking out a tiny mirror, and noticed her long black-polished nails. She smoothened her skirt and crossed her fish-netted legs. I also noticed the glances she got from the driver.

"Hey!" I snapped. "Keep your eyes on the road!" Ginny just smiled and looked at me through long, blackened eyelashes. I don't know where she'd learned that tricks, only that if I hadn't been her big brother, that gesture would've made my knees fail in a moment.

We drove in silent all the way till King Cross. When we were finally there, Ginny leaped out of the car and started searching for Harry. I followed her example, excited to see my best friend.

Suddenly she let out a scream with joy, flinging her arms about a black-haired stranger, making her huge golden earrings dance in the sunlight. He was dressed in tight light-blue denim jeans, a shimmery emerald shirt and black boots. He responded by seizing her steadily around her waist, lifting her from the ground.

"Ginny! Who the fuck are--" I started, but the boy turned around before I could finish my sentence. I gawked.

"Hallo Ron" Harry beamed, clutching my hand as he used the heel of his boot to crush his cigarette, which I hadn't seen before now, in the tar.   

"Hello Harry" I stammered. "Um" I looked quizzically at him. "What exactly did I miss? It seems like everyone's had a make-over save me."

"Oh," Harry laughed, "actually I haven't changed anything." Then he took Ginny's hand, and they both climbed up into the train, leaving me on the platform. I hurried after them and nearly collided in Draco Malfoy.

"Watch your feet, Malfoy," I snarled as I lowered my head so I could see his face; Malfoy's a head shorter than me, but nevertheless he's got it in the sky. He wore a really, really odd expression. I waited for him to come up with a rude answer, but that never came. Instead he seemed to try imitating a goldfish; he kept gaping, and looked extraordinary funny.

"Whatever" I said resignedly, throwing my arms into the air. Something was wrong. Seriously wrong. Not even Malfoy acted like normal!

I found the compartment Harry and Ginny had installed themselves in. They almost looked like one person against the dazzling rays of light, which the sun shot straight through the window, Ginny's robe wrapped over them. Only the fact that they were snogging crazily did reduce the impression.         

What the hell is going on here? I thought as I sat down, looking forward to meet Hermione.