Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever

Created: 1/24/16

Summary: The friendly (and not so friendly) rivalry never ends between Mario and Bowser. How far will they go?

Disclaimer: I don't own Mario, but if I did, life would be good !

It was a day at the races. A Mario Kart race took place on the ever dangerous Rainbow Road. Twelve racers used their driving skills along with any other trick up their sleeve to win the gold reserved for only the best of the best.

Among these racers were none other than the great hero, Mario Mario whose primary rivalry was with the evil lord Bowser Koopa. While the other ten racers were giving it their all, Mario and Bowser lead the pack, fighting for first place. It was the final lap so it all came down to their performance now.

"Don't you even think of passing me, plumber boy. I can and will hit you with a giant replica of my own shell !" Bowser shouted to Mario who was driving parallel to him.

He was referring to the Bowser shell item from Double Dash but this wasn't Double Dash, so immediately Bowser realized how stupid he had just sounded.

"Silly Bowser, that item isn't even in this game," Mario teased stating the obvious. He cut a corner that allowed him to pass Bowser slightly.

"What are you talking about?! This is not a game, my life is on the line here!" Someone whined from behind them.

It was Toad with the dreaded thundercloud above him meaning that he was about to get shrunk and also confirming that this is Mario Kart Wii apparently.


Toad was shrunk allowing Yoshi to take third.

"Yoshi! Yoshi!" Yoshi cheerfully called.

"Why are these freaks getting as much narration as us?" Bowser complained.

"Yeah, I thought this was about OUR rivalry?" Mario added. He wouldn't exactly consider his friends freaks though, (well, most of the time) but he did see Bowser's point.

They both snatched item boxes. Mario was in first so statistically he was probably going to get a lame item like a fake item box. Bowser was second so statistically he was probably going to get a red shell because this is MKWii and it hates the person in first place.

To their surprise and/or relief they both got single green shells.

"So it looks like we're even, Koopa!" Mario said while defensively holding his shell behind him to protect his rear end.

"Yeah right, pasta face. Don't you know that I'm the best green shell bouncer in Dark Land? I'm gonna hurl this shell at that wall and hit you from the front. You won't see it coming, plumber!" Bowser bragged, thinking he had just made the best plan ever.

" I won't see it coming? Well, if it's coming from in front of me, I think I will see it. Even then, you just revealed your whole plan!" Mario said rolling his eyes.

"Ugh! Whatever! He-yah!"

Bowser threw the shell at an wall to the side of Mario. It hit the wall (one of the few walls on Rainbow Road) and immediately fell off the track. Mario wasn't scratched.

"Best shell bouncer huh?" Mario teased again. " Maybe YOU were shell bounced as a baby." Mario laughed as he entered the final cannon warp thing on the course. Bowser growled ferociously as he entered right after them and wished he had the ability to use his fire breath in the Mario Kart games.

The moment they emerged from the cannon warp thing, they got lightning zapped by 12th place Donkey Kong. Why? Because people in last place deserve to be rewarded for it. This made Mario loose his green shell protection and now he was on equal footing with Bowser.

Bowser caught up with Mario and rammed into him, trying to knock him off of the edge. The hit didn't shove Mario much, because they were both tiny. Mario took this rare opportunity of being the same weight as Bowser and shoved back.

Just then, Yoshi popped up again. He had unshrunk before them and easily caught up, knocking both Bowser and Mario off the track.

"Noooo!" They both screamed.

"Yoshi! Yoshi!" Yoshi cheerfully called...again.

Before Lakitu could rescue them, everyone else had passed the finish line, even Donkey Kong.

"Could you take any longer?!" Bowser screamed at Lakitu while being fished up.

"Look, I work all day using this stupid rod to fish up you idiots then I have to go home to clean up the house, do my community service, and take care of my family. I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN!" Lakitu unexpectantly screamed back.

Bowser was shocked. So shocked that Mario sped off, having been rescued as well and claimed 11th place. Bowser tried to move but his car mysteriously stopped working, because that's what happens in MKWii if you're in 12th place and everyone else has finished.

Later after the race, the participants were in the Mario Kart lobby...

"GAAAAHH!" Bowser screamed in frustration.

"Hey, I lost too, Bowser. It's not the end of the world," Mario reassured him. "But I did do better than you!" Mario gave him a sly look. Bowser stomped the ground.

"Whatever! I want a rematch, mustache moron!"

"Fine, name the place the time the-"

"Hey guys," Yoshi interrupted. He could speak English suddenly and was holding the gold trophy.

"Oh, I didn't see you. Well, congratulations Yoshi," Mario said, giving Yoshi a pat on the back.

"Hey, stay out of this! We were clearly trying to schedule the next time we'll try to kill each other!"

"Bowser, be nice," Mario said as he tried give Bowser a pat on his back with his other hand.

They both jerked away from each other (awkward). Bowser's back did have spikes after all.

"Don't touch me! Listen plumber, I'm gonna call you on the phone and we will meet again. And you WILL lose! Bwa ha ha ha- *cough* uh...BYE!" Bowser ran off.

"That's Bowser for ya!" Mario said laughing.

"Yoshi! Yoshi!" Yoshi cheerfully called for the last time.

His English speaking phase was over. Maybe it never happened. Maybe Mario should lay off the the shrooms. Maybe Mario should treat his hand which was now bleeding slightly. Either way, Mario would look forward to that call because that's what frenemies are for. Frenemies forever.

To Be Continued...

Life lessons:

Thunderclouds suck.

You should be rewarded for being 12th place.

Don't pat Bowser on the back.

Author note: This is a story adaptation of an older hand-drawn comic of mine I wrote primarily in 2008. It was called "J-Man and the Dragon" referring to Mario and Bowser obviously. I'm going to try to make this a series of sort, loosely following my comic. No, the comic isn't posted online anywhere so you'll have to take my word for it, but hopefully you will enjoy this series. I based this particular chapter off of Mario Kart Wii, which is my favorite Mario Kart despite the craziness of it. Feel free to critique!