I'm sorry. I know everyone hates Author's Notes, but this is really important, so please give me a chance to explain.
I have come to a very unfortunate conclusion yesterday, that will likely not sit well with most of you. I realized I can't continue writing my stories.
The reason is actually quite simple: Writing isn't just a hobby to me, it's my life. It's the only real outlet I have. My entire life, I've lived in my head, and that won't ever change. The outside world is only one thing to me, and that is the cause of stress. However, through writing I could open up in ways I never could in any other way and I have been using it since I learned how to write.
I actually still have stories lying around I made when I was seven years old, and I still read them every now and then when I feel particularly nostalgic. But that's not the point.
The point is that I lost that part of myself lately. Over the past couple of months, I've been feeling miserable and strung out and I lost all my will to continue. Writing had become a cause of stress instead of a stress reliever. I didn't write what I wanted anymore and instead I started writing what I thought others would want to read.
My stories have become empty to me. They don't fill me with the sense of pride and accomplishment they used to.
I have always told myself that I don't care about what others think of my writing, that I write for me, but that hasn't been the truth in over a year. I started looking for praise to make myself feel better about the hollowness my stories instilled inside me, but all it did in the long run was suck me dry.
I need to rediscover my love for writing again, and that can only be done in one way:
I need to stop posting them. At least for now.
No, this isn't goodbye forever. I'll start posting my stories again eventually, but I can't tell you with certainty when. Maybe it'll take months, maybe it'll take years. All I know is that it won't be soon. I need time to find the meaning of my stories. Of my Life.
I hope you can all understand this is important, and that I am not doing this out of spite or anything like that. You have all been nothing but supportive and kind, and I am truly grateful for all you have done for me.
I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you in return.
I will come back eventually, but I can't promise I'll come back specifically to this story, so instead, I'll post all of the ideas I had for the continuations of them. Perhaps one day, I'll be able to finish them, or someone else will take them over. These stories I shared with you aren't truly mine anymore anyway. They're yours now.
Please take care of them for me. I put part of my being in them, no matter how small a part it was. I put my heart and soul in every single word I put out for you guys.
I love you, and thank you.