Well… it's been something like three months since I've posted anything. Lobts of reasons. Health (poor and going downhill) work (aka the man keeping me down) and an obsession with finishing my novel (oh gods… its killing me, it really is…). But I have to post something, if for no other reason to let you all know I'm still alive.

            So here it is. This is kind of a companion to "written among the stars", basically detailing how Usagi felt about the fact that most of her friends were turning out gay.

"Impressions"

by Michael Treiber

Dear journal,

            How do you tell your second best friend that you think she's lying to your face? For weeks now, I know Ami has been hiding something from me, but refuses to talk about it. Whenever I ask, she just blushes and stammers something about everything being fine.

            We (the inner senshi) have never really had any secrets from each other… what can be so bad that she wont tell her best friends… her sisters!

            I'll just have to be patient… she'll spill eventually.

Dear journal,

            Is there something wrong with me? For weeks now I've been trying to get Ami to confess to me… and whom does she turn to? Makoto! She spends almost all her free time there, and whenever I ask what they do, Makoto shrugs, Ami blushes, and they give me a story about tutoring, or cooking lessons. But why wouldn't Makoto invite us ALL over for a cooking lesson? And if Ami needs to tutor Makoto, why wouldn't she just do it during our study meeting?

            Secrets, secrets, and more secrets… I'm getting sick of all the secrets our friends are building between themselves.

Dear journal,

            Oh…Haruka and Michiru had the most BEAUTIFUL wedding ever! They were both so pretty (hehehe… Haruka wore a dress). I hope my wedding is half that nice… well, I would, except that I know it'll be TWICE as good!

            Hmm…Mamo-chan better start saving up now.

Dear journal,

            Well, now I know. Ami and Makoto… Well, I can't say exactly, in case SOMEONE reads this (that means you Chibi-Usa, you little brat).

            Everything seems different now. At first I was to shocked to react, but now that I've sat back and thought about it for a while, it really weirds me out, you know? All those times we were drooling over some boy, and Ami just ignored him.. should I have picked up some kind of clue? Or how about Makoto and all those boys that she chased… was it just a cover, to throw us all off?

            I…I just wish I know what to feel.

Dear journal,

            I can't believe that last entry. I'm such an IDIOT!

            Do you know what happened today? Ami SMILLED. In public. Repeatedly. How should I feel? I've never been happier for Ami, or Makoto. It's obvious that they… well, the just fill in all the little holes that have always been there, but we all just kind of ignored… until they were gone.

            -sigh- I wish my Mamo-chan was here…

Dear journal,

            I had the weirdest conversation with Minako's mom today. She kept asking me things about Rei, and how much time she and Minako had been spending together. And weather either had a boyfriend, or was even interested in boys.

            You don't suppose…? No way, not in a million years.

Dear journal,

            Ok, so that was a quick million years. I'm convinced… Minako and Rei… well, I should be used to it by now, what with Ami/Makoto and Haruka/Michiru. They haven't actually TOLD us yet… but I can tell.

Dear journal,

            Setsuna. I keep repeating the name in my head. Setsuna. And Minako. And Rei.

            WHAT?

            I keep thinking that this is some really odd (but strangely, not too unpleasant) dream. Especially concerning Rei. She seemed so traditional, we all expected her to be the first one (except me and Mamo-chan) to get married and half three kids.

            Or Minako. All those times we went boy hunting. But now that I think about it… the whole Haruka obsession thing makes sense….

            And last, but not least, Setsuna.

            This is going to take some getting used to, but… they're my friends, and I love them. I don't really have any choice in the matter. When it comes to this kind of love, your friends become a "love us or leave us" object. And I love them, so Ill never leave them.

            Never.

Dear journal,

            I can't believe I found this dusty old thing!

            Well, one of the best Valentines Day's ever. It was nice hearing the full versions of everyone's stories.

Dear journal,

            Ami and Makoto's wedding was lovely, though I could tell not having any family to be there with her hurt Makoto. But Ami's mother has pretty firmly drilled the idea that she's a second daughter into her head, so it wasn't as bad as it could be.

Dear journal,

            I think its time for Chibi-usa and I to talk about her relationship with Hotaru. Not that I necessarily object, mind you… I  just don't want to see her hurt.

            -sigh- At least she'll be in good company… it seems to be a fashionable trend for my soldiers.

Yes, powerfully short. Ill try and get another piece of FF out before I get sucked back into the novel (I just finished the second novella… about the first 90 pages done). I tend to hit a down spot on my ability to write original between stories. Well…usually. This time, I'm still hungry, even after a 14000 word novella. Maybe I'm finally turning into a real author. Ha!

Anyhoo… like I said, Ill try and get something out. But…to be honest… fanfiction just doesn't do it for me anymore. Ill probably keep dropping a piece or three every couple of months, but… I don't know. Maybe Ill post some of my original stuff on ff.net. Only… I'm really nervous about that, what with having no control over what people do with it and all. With FF, it doesn't matter, cuz its not mine anyway. But original… -shrugs-