'Hello, my name is Waddles Pines and I am a Pig.'
'My origin story is not much different from other pigs. I was born on a farm, destine to be someone's dinner/breakfast and maybe a sandwich for a snack. But fate had other plans for me. It all started when me and a few of my brethren were taken to a cheap county fair and used as a prize. It was here where I met this most unusual human Mabel Pines. I do not know why it is, but she got this strange notion that I was oinking her name. When in actuality I was just coughing.'
'Needless to say she won me and took as a pet, naming me Waddles. Don't know why she bothered since my name was 15 poundy, but whatever. My time with her was some of the best I've ever known, I get to eat, sleep, have dance parties, and roll around in the dirt. Life was good. Then one day something amazing happened. Mabel's brother was collecting delicious mushrooms for me. Don't know why he grounded them up and spread it over his face but his sweat did add a nice salty flavor to them. That's when it happened, somehow I became self aware. I knew things I never knew before. Do things I could never do. Best of all I could finally communicate with the humans via my typing board that I modified to turn my words into sounds. As I started to enjoy my new found intelligence, building things with Dipper for the townsfolk, I was faced with a dilemma. Do I continue on with my work and try to make the world a better place? Or do I sacrifice everything I have gained for the love of one little girl? Looking into Mabel's eyes I knew there was only one choice. Setting my machine to drain my vast intellect and reduce myself to a mindless squealing animal.'
'While I was fully prepared to accept my place as Mabel's pet, but once again fate had other plans for me. As I have stated before, my little pig feet are cute and adorable, but they are also completely useless. Especially when it comes to wiring complex machinery. Even though I set the machine to drain my brain, instead it shorted out and increased my brain power exponentially. I felt myself evolving. Becoming more than pig, becoming more than life itself! I was being flung around the universe until I moved beyond it, beyond reality, beyond imagination.'
'Before I knew it I found myself at the hall of the Divine Infinite Congressional Senate or D.I.C.S. as some refer to them as. It was here that I learned that the members of this Senate are some of the most powerful beings in the multiverse, and that their goal is to preserve the balance. Curiosity peaked I found myself being mentored by this giant woman named Rose Quartz, who was the previous new kid. Thanks to my heighten brain I learned quickly and before I knew it, I was given a seat on the senate, and the timing couldn't have been more perfect.'
'Shortly after I was given a seat, the balance of the universe shifted to the side of light. While most beings would consider this as a good thing, we all knew better. We understood that the universe wants to be in balance. Not too dark and not too light, but just that perfect shade of gray. This of course meant that the dark forces will make their move to restore the balance; and the way things stand, they can destroy an entire continent and it still won't be enough.'
'Since we have no way of knowing how the dark forces will act, and the fact that we can't retaliate until the scale tips in favor of the dark again, I made a bold proposition: to recruit a team of normal humans to serve as my agents to track down any suspicious activity and neutralize it before anything disastrous happens. A controversial plan at best, but one I believe is the best chance to preserve the balance without the world succumb to chaos.'
(A/N: Read Amazing Mystical Warriors Unite for the details.)
'Now that I got the go ahead, I'm going to need my team. In order to make sure I don't disturb the balance any further, I cannot recruit superhumans or those with magical talents. That will make things complicated. Also the senate has only authorized me the maximum number of recruits for a new agency, 7. 7 may be fine for a team of superheroes, but not for a team of humans. Fortunately I can work around this. According to the regulations agents are allowed sidekicks to assist them in their tasks. This means I can technically recruit 14 people on the grounds that half of them are partners. Partners who needed to work well together. Possibly best friends or siblings. While this has greatly reduced the number of potential candidates I originally had, mainly because many of them either act alone or are part of a larger team and won't like to be separated, I think it will work out for the best. Now on to the recruits, first off:
Norman Babcock/Neil Downe (from Paranorman)
They say dead men don't tell tales. That is true except for Norman, a young boy gifted or cursed to see ghosts. It was through this gift that his bloodline kept the Witch of Blithe Hollow at bay. Though Norman has since ended the curse he still regularly converses with specters. This ability will be useful as he can use dead to gather vital intel and find out forgotten histories directly from the dead.
As for Neil, not much to say about him other than he's a loyal friend to Norman often providing good moral support. At least since his ordeal with zombies, he's finally decided to follow his older brother's advice and started working out. Hopefully he'll be strong enough for what is to come, or at the very least he might be useful as canon fodder.
Coraline Jones/Wyborn 'Wybie' Lovat (From Coraline)
Coraline, while lacking in the powers department, is not one to be underestimated. After all she is the first to beat the Beldam at her own game. After her adventures in the other world, Coraline has taken a more friendlier approach to her neighbors, even picking up a thing or two from them. Acquiring such skills as learning how to read tea leaves and crafting magical trinkets from hard candy from April Spink and Miriam Forcible. (What a waste of perfectly good candy) As well as acrobatics and mice taming from Sergei Bobinsky.
Wybie, while having no real set skills to speak of except maybe mountain biking, is very innovative. Allowing him to think outside the box. He is also very protective of Coraline fearing that the Beldam might still come after her.
James Neutron/Cindy Vortex (from Adventures of Jimmy Neutron)
Jimmy Neutron, boy genius whose inventions just seem to defy the laws of physics. While he doesn't normally deal with paranormal problems, he has on occasion saved the Earth from alien threats. His biggest problem is his ego which borderlines on arrogance.
Cindy Vortex, an above average student while not as smart as Jimmy she is still brilliant. Not only does she have intelligence, she is also a gifted athlete, musician, actor, and martial artist. Bringing in several skills that might prove even more useful than Jimmy's brain. She's also the only person that can keep Jimmy grounded.
Dib Membrane/Zim Irken (from Invader Zim)
Dib Membrane, rumored child prodigy of Professor Membrane, Dib is incredibly intelligent. Though he tends to use his intelligence more for chasing ghosts rather than anything productive. Still this makes him perfect for my needs. While I had considered making his sister Gaz his partner, taking into account her personality, it is most likely she would side with the dark forces so I had to reject her. Plus she just freaks me out.
Because of this I have chosen Zim to be his partner. An odd choice I admit since Zim is an alien trying to prepare the world for conquest by the Irken Empire. Unbeknownst to him the Tallest have no interest in Earth and only sent him here to exile him. While Zim has no desire to protect the Earth, he is determine to make sure it stays safe until he conquers it. Making him a usable pawn. Plus since his alignment is already evil, that helps with the balance department.
Elizabeth Thornberry/Darwin Thornberry (from the Wild Thornberrys)
Eliza, a good hearted girl with a love for animals. Which is why it came as no surprise to me to find out that she was gifted with the ability to speak with them. This will be handy as she will almost always have an army at her disposal. Thanks to her wild lifestyle, due to her parents hosting a nature show, she's an expert scuba diver, mountain climber, and all around survivalist. Add the fact that she lives in a mobile home that travels around the world, she has a better chance of finding trouble spots in remote regions.
Darwin Thornberry, Eliza's pet chimpanzee. Surprisingly very cultured for his species, he is also a voice of reason. Not only that, but as an ape he is already 3 times stronger than the average human with incredible agility.
Creepella Creecher/Skipper Tarantula (from Growing up Creepie)
Raised by bugs, Creepie isn't freaked out by outward appearances. Often finding humans to be more disgusting than bugs. So she isn't afraid of what goes bump in the night, and would go head first into danger. Her knowledge of the insect world allows her to command them, so like Eliza, she practically has her own army. But her greatest strength is her negotiation skills. Able to find that common ground that will allow all species to coexist peacefully. Which could prove useful if we want to prevent an all out war.
Skipper (Tarantula Boy) like Creepie was raised by insects. Technically arachnid, tarantula to be exact. Skipper grew up in a traveling carnival freak show as a human/tarantula hybrid (even though he's fully human). Eventually becoming an action movie star. As an action star doing his own stunts, Skipper has a well toned body, trained in martial arts for the fighting scenes, and an expert with the movie prop weapons. Even though he doesn't have any spider powers, he can still climb up walls like the best of them.
Cornelius Fillmore/Ingrid Third (from Fillmore)
While neither of them have any experience facing off against the supernatural, both have overcome incredible odds. Cornelius Fillmore, former delinquent now turn student safety patrol, is a natural detective with a keen eye for detail. Coming from the wrong side of the tracks he knows how the criminal mind works and often how to outwit it. He's also an expert on interrogation techniques making him ideal for questioning potential suspects.
Ingrid Third is also an excellent detective in her own right. While not as street smart as Fillmore, she does have a photographic memory that will come in very handy when tracking down the dark forces.
Sally Bollywood/Doowee MacAdams (from Sally Bollywood: Super Detective)
Following in the footsteps of her father, who is a PI, Sally started her own detective agency called SBI. Again while she has no real experience with supernatural, she is still a highly skilled individual. Not only a natural detective, she's also a master of Kalaripayattu an Indian martial art.
Doowee MacAdams is Sally's partner and tech support. Often creating gadgets that rivals Kim Possible's. Including special goggles that have finger print recognition and a camera that makes masks of people for disguise.
Riley Daring/Todd Daring (from The Replacements)
Todd and Riley were two orphans who were adopted by Richard Daring (Dick Daring) and Karen Mildred (Agent K). Respectively a professional daredevil and British secret agent. (I still can't fathom how that happened) Thanks to their parents these two have considerable skills, such as creating innovative vehicles like duck taping rockets onto a bathtub and rocketing over houses, and breaking into most of the government buildings around the world. But their greatest weapon is their connection to the Fleemco Co. Not only does Fleemco produce a variety of consumer products, it also is very efficient in the firing and hiring of personal or the Replacement Program as they like to call it. This could give Todd and Riley unlimited resources in terms of manpower and special assistance.
Edgar Schadenfreude/Ellen Schadenfreude (from Edgar and Ellen)
A unusual choice I admit considering their hobbies. Abandoned by their parents, Edgar and Ellen are renown for causing mischief and mayhem. Never the less they are both equally brilliant bordering on mad science, just in different fields. Edgar can build incredible machines out of junk and Ellen grows carnivorous intelligent plant life. Often misusing their genius for pranking. Still these talents make them excellent trap masters and strategist. They'd most likely survive most ordeals that would kill others. Plus I think they'll find the idea of going up against evil masterminds to be an entertaining idea. I only wish that they wear something other than those striped pajamas.
#18/#23 (from American Dragon: Jake Long)
Another odd choice considering their backgrounds. #18 and #23 (or is it #32?) were both members of the Huntsclan. However they were kicked out of the Huntsclan Academy after numerous bouts. While fighting is taught and encourage, fighting each other on a regular basis over boys is highly frowned upon, eventually getting both girls expelled not only from the school but from the clan as well. Ironically this ended up saving them when a wish was made to destroy the Huntsclan, since technically they weren't a part of it anymore. (Magic is weird that way) Despite not being part of the clan anymore, the two continued to use their training, hunting down magical creatures and selling them, or rather parts of them, on the black market. While the Huntsclan have a twisted sense of honor, they honestly believe that they are the protectors the world. Hopefully I can use that to persuade them to join me against a new threat to this world.
Marco Diaz/Janna (from Star vs the Forces of Evil)
Another strange choice since Marco is famed for being a safe kid. (Seriously, he wears a helmet and life preservers in the shower.) Strangely enough he also has an adventurous spirit and is renown for fighting monsters. Even though he's just a green belt at strip mall karate. Never the less he does have experience traveling to other dimensions and he has a magic vacuum. Not really sure what it does though.
Since I cannot recruit Star Butterfly, on the grounds that she's a magical princess from another dimension, I have selected Janna to be his partner. Janna seems to have great interest in monsters and shows no fear even in life threatening situations. Plus she's a natural pickpocket which might come in handy. Though I do question her sanity.
Clarence Buttowski/Gunther Mangnuson (from Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil)
Clarence or Kick as he prefers to be called is an amateur daredevil on a constant adrenaline rush. He is highly skilled performing stunts/extreme sports and has a high threshold of pain, almost able walk it off whenever he wipes out. He also seems to have the ability to warp the laws of physics using what he calls the laws of awesomeness. (Yeah I don't get it either and I have a brain that can see things in 10 dimensions.)
Gunther hails from a proud Viking family that is deeply set in the old ways. While normally nice, calm, and collected; when aggravated or on a sugar rush from drinking too much Cheetah Chug Gunther shows incredible strength and almost animal like rage. This leads me to believe that he may be a descendant of the Berserkers. Apart from his fierceness, Gunther's greatest attribute is how he always seems to have exactly what Kick needs when he needs it. Such as having the blue prints of the dog pound tattooed on his back.
Pablo Da Vinci/Zoe Da Vinci (from the DaVincibles)
Pablo and Zoe are world class treasure hunters. Practically Indiana Jones level, able to sniff out traps like a pro. There isn't a old temple or unexplored regions on the Earth that they cannot conquer. Pablo is a natural athlete and can almost always find his way out of any life or death situation. Often at the expense of his family in the process. Zoe is a walking encyclopedia, she knows almost everything there is to know about ancient civilizations and art.
A.J./Chester McBadbat (from Fairly Odd Parents)
A.J. is a scientific genius able to create a time machine using only paper clip and yarn. Despite the fact that his brilliance can save the world, he deliberately holds himself back so as to stay with his not so smart friends at school. Which I can respect.
One such friend is Chester. Short on brains but big on heart. Always puts others ahead of himself. Which is impressive on it's own but when you consider that he lives in poverty, that makes his selflessness even grander. While having no real set of skills, Chester is able to use his braces in the most creative ways, such as digging a tunnel out of jail, using them to bridge cracks on a skate ramp, and even using them as a weapon against coyotes.
Ace McDoudal/Athol Savage (from Get Ace)
Speaking of braces, Ace McDoudal, a proverbial monkey with dynamite. After accidentally receiving special spy braces equipped with 50 high tech gadgets and weapons meant for a super villain. He uses it mainly to slack off or to show off. Often being more of a threat to himself than any villain he crosses. Never the less he seems to manage to pull through somehow, beating all odds. Although I am a bit concerned that he seems to talk to himself a lot. Hopefully his friendship with Athol will help him mature.
Athol is a misunderstood gorilla. (I think) Again small on brains but big on heart. For years he's been ostracized by his peers and teachers due to his immense size and strength, often intimidating most without any ill intent. In truth he's very gentle and really cares about others especially Ace who he keeps calling Face. He befriended Ace after Ace accidentally saved his life and is now completely devoted to him.
Lee Ping/Biffy Goldstein (from Detentionaire)
Accused of a vicious prank, Lee was giving a years detention earning him the nickname Detentionaire. Hoping to clear his name, Lee took it upon himself to investigate the prank to find out the truth. During which he had to break out of detention, sneak passed teachers and Hazmats, interview suspects, and make it back in time to make it look like he's carrying out his punishment. While his goal was simply to find out the truth behind the prank, he soon stumbles on a plot to use mind control to take over the world by a race of humanoid lizards. Fortunately for him he's immune to mind control.
Biffy is a gentle giant, with a brain the size of his biceps. Not only can he break most things with his bare hands; he's also a master with cell phones. He can use them for a variety of tasks, such as tracking, spying, and coordinating Lee in and out of tight spots. I wouldn't be surprised if he could make his phones sing and dance as well. Like Lee, Biffy also seems to be immune to mind control.
Gage Allen/Christopher Savon (OC created by The Keeper of Worlds)
Gage Allen has paranormal sense and extreme empathic (able to feel other's emotions). He is your roughly average kid who never fit in one social circle. He made friends with few, and was bullied a lot for being a good student and a so-called teacher's pet. Over time he learned about his ability to feel emotions and sense paranormal things, and used them to hunt down a cult trying to evoke the seven sins.
Always by his side Chris Savon. A loyal friend through thick and thin, he helped Gage be confident to defend himself and keeps him active with weekly spars.
Dipper Pines/Pacifica Northwest (from Gravity Falls)
Finally Dipper Pines, my owner's twin brother. Incredibly brilliant, though admittedly not as smart as he pretends to be. He is a natural detective with an interest in the paranormal. As for his physical abilities, they seem to be inconsistent. One moment he's strong enough to take down monsters like the Gremgoblin, the next he can't even throw a water balloon pass one ft. (Maybe he's like Popeye and only gets strong when he eats spinach?) Either way he's met up with countless ordeals and have managed to survive them, and now he has access to his Uncle Ford's tools and weapons. That will aid him greatly.
Normally I would have selected his sister Mabel...Mabel (sigh). His sister Mabel to be his partner being that they are the Mystery Twins, but I've come to realize that she's not very reliable in most situations. Often getting easily distracted especially when there's a boy, something cute, or sugar involved. This is why I've opted to recruit Dipper's girlfriend Pacifica instead. While she has an attitude problem, she is more focused than most. Pacifica is also a lot smarter and physically more capable than most people give her credit, and unlike with Wendy, Dipper won't get too distracted working with her.
Waddles looked over his list of potential candidates. "19 teams, 38 individuals," he counted off. "Every single one of them would make an excellent agent," Waddles sighed sadly as he looked over at the 7 invites with 14 pink pig head shaped badges attached to them. "But I can only recruit 7 pairs. I wonder who should they be?" he thought to himself.
A/N: Who do you think Waddles should choose? Please go to my profile and cast your vote.