Disclaimer – Ranma ½ is the property of Rumiko Takahashi. Teen Titans is the property of DC Comics. Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Adrien Agreste are the property of ZagToon. All are used without permission.
I – In Which Roy and Donna Try To Kill Ranma
Akane and Marinette were standing over together at one side of the Titan Tower's rec room, chattering with each other happily. Marinette's partner and boyfriend Adrien sat near them, occasionally interjecting with a comment or a question, but sometimes perpetrating a pun. The two girls would either groan or glare at him, depending on how rotten the pun was, and Adrien would simply grin back at them unrepentant.
Ranma watched all this from the main couch, feeling amused. He always enjoyed watching his fiancee interact with the younger French girl, for Akane and Marinette had become very good friends in a short amount of time, and their byplay never failed to invoke a warm, fond feeling in Ranma. He was sipping a Coke, about ready to go over and join the conversation when Adrien said something that he did not quite catch but the girls evidently found very funny. Akane laughed, covering her mouth with her hand, while Marinette giggled and shimmied, wiggling her pink-denim clad derriere left and right.
Ranma choked on his Coke, sputtering softly and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Are you okay, Ranma?" Akane asked.
"Yeah, fine," he said a little hoarsely. "My drink just went down the wrong pipe." Akane nodded and turned back to her conversation with Marinette and Adrien.
"Now that was a breath taking sight," Roy said softly as he walked up behind the couch. "Seeing Marinette jiggle like that would make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window."
Ranma looked at him incredulously. "Say what?"
Roy laughed. "It's from Chandler, dude. Don't you read anything other than martial arts manuals and crime reports?"
"Yes, I do," growled Ranma, feeling a little nettled. "And should you really be staring at Marinette's rear? Last time I checked you had a girlfriend."
Roy shrugged. "Yeah, but just because I have a girlfriend doesn't mean that I'm dead. If you can't take the moment to admire a cute butt then there's no hope for you." Ranma stared at Roy skeptically. "C'mon, like you weren't checking Marinette out along with Akane."
"I was not checking them out," retorted Ranma, slightly indignant. "I was just watching them talk and Marinette took me by surprise with that... whatever that was."
"That's a shame," said Donna as she joined her two friends, kneeling behind the couch and throwing an affectionate arm around Ranma. "Because both Akane and Marinette have asses worth admiring."
Ranma turned his head to give his friend a wide-eyed look. Roy snickered at his expression and was ignored.
"Are you serious?"
"Of course I am. One does not grow up as an Amazon of Themyscira without cultivating an aesthetic appreciation for a woman's cute butt."
"What does you being an Amazon have anything to do with... uh... that?"
Donna grinned at him, bopping him on the nose with her forefinger. "Because, my dear, innocent big brother, being an Amazon means that by cultural inclination I am what you'd call a switch hitter."
It took Ranma a moment or two to parse that. He closed his eyes tight, bringing a hand up to his temples as if trying to ward off an incipient migraine. Roy sat down behind the couch, trying not to die from laughter. Donna simply grinned.
"Right," said Ranma, gently removing Donna's arm. "I'm going away now. Like, away from you two. I'll be back in maybe a month." He stood up and stalked off for the kitchen.
Donna and Roy looked at each, grinning. "Hera, he's so fun to mess with, sometimes," Donna said with a laugh.
"Yes, yes he is," agreed Roy. He fell quiet for a moment, then smiled like a fallen angel. "You think maybe we could get Akane to learn how to do Marinette's little butt-wiggle? She did that in front of Ranma, I bet you twenty bucks he'd pass out."
"And if she was wearing one of her tighter skirts or maybe some yoga pants, he'd get a nose bleed as well," added Donna, grinning.
"It's worth a shot," said Roy with a waggle of his eyebrows. "Let's talk it over with her."
"You know she'd never go for it if we tell her why." Now Donna's grin turned wicked and her eyes sparkled with mischief, "But, if we can get Marinette to 'teach' her that dance…"
Catching on quickly, Roy couldn't help but chuckle as they headed over to the girls in question.
Author's Notes: I originally wrote this up for my own and PurseMonger's amusement, with no plans on actually publishing it, since this would take place something like six or seven stories into the future of my Shadows-verse (how pretentious). However, PurseMonger really enjoyed it and she encouraged me to consider posting it, so here we are. Hopefully you found it worth a few minutes of your time.
Many thanks once again to PurseMonger for her pre-reading and invaluable suggestions.