All credits go to the Author, Arcreed.
Hello, I think many of you might be wondering why am I re-posting the Caped Baldy of Nasuverse. Well, the truth is, since I was saddened to see his stories gone from fanfic (I've been following his story as a guest for years), I came to Arcreed-san with a proposition. I will post his stories for him, that way he doesn't have to deal with the flamers and spams anymore for I could filter it for him, and I will forward the reviews that are constructive and not insulting to his mail. Of course it didn't go as smooth as I hoped for, but after a back and forth discussion with him, I've finally managed to have him agreed to this partnership. For now, I will just post the 1st chapter because Arcreed-san has not sent the rest to me, and also I want to see if this partnership is received well by the readers.
Since this is not my work and all I'm doing is just posting it, every chapter I will post 'All credits go to the author, Arcreed' at the very top. I will try to see if I can convince him to let me re-post 'The Sharingan of the Crimson Princess".
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and the franchises in this story
The day Baldy lost his house (again)
Once, there lived a young girl.
With short blond hair and short aquamarine dress, she was the type of girl one could easily find.
However, the girl was anything but ordinary.
She had a little sister and a father. She had a loving family.
Even so, she and her family were anything but ordinary.
Her father, her sister, and herself were practitioners of magecraft.
They were what would be called magi.
However, even within her extraordinary family, she was inherently far from the common extraordinary that was magus.
She was extraordinary even by the standard of the extraordinary people.
Since her birth, she had been connected to what magi called 'Root'. Otherwise known as Akasha or Akashic Record, the source of all.
No one knew that she was connected to Root, not even her father and sister.
After all it was the dream of all magi to be able to reach the Root of everything, and if those magi found out that she had connection to the thing that they spent their entire life and even generations to reach, who knew what they would do to her.
Even so, what a boring dream that the magi had.
That was what she had always thought.
Once the reached the Root of everything and obtained all knowledge, then what?
There would no longer be things like surprise, expectation, or even dream, for you would already know everything.
All that was left would be boredom. Unquenchable boredom.
She knew, after all that was how she had lived her life up to this point.
She had fallen into despair and her worldview and personality were slowly becoming more and more distorted to the point that she had given up on everything.
She would need to be patient, however.
For now she needed to act like the kind and proper girl that they perceived her to be.
Once the time had come, once 'Heaven's Feel' had started, she could finally end her suffering.
The magi would use that opportunity to open a hole to reach Akasha, she would use that opportunity to reach out to the great evil from beyond.
She would use that opportunity to bring forth the day of reckoning and end the current world.
And so she had to be patience. Until it started she had to keep playing the role that they perceived her to be.
When that moment came, surely she would finally be able to truly laugh, cry, mad, and to truly know what it was like to be alive.
That was what she believed.
Alas, not even this girl who 'had knowledge on everything' knew that at that fateful day 'a person who is a hero for a hobby' would be her salvation, answering her silent scream for help that not even herself, despite her connection to the Root of everything, knew existed.
In a mountain region of Germany blanketed by continuously falling white snow, a large regal European-style castle stood near the riverbank. It was a revered place for magi, for it was the residence of the esteem Einzbern family, a famous and powerful family of magi, and one of the founding families of Fuyuki's Holy Grail War. It was even said that the Third Magic was once belonged to this family but was lost due to some unknown circumstances.
An old man known as Jubstacheit von Einzbern currently headed this family, and their greatest goal was to reclaim the lost Third Magic through winning the Holy Grail War.
And for that, Jubstacheit had created a homunculus, a special homunculus in the form of a woman that would serve as the container for the Holy Grail.
And that homunculus right now was seating on a chair, looking at the Servant that her husband had summoned for the upcoming Holy Grail War.
"Saber, do you want to drink tea with me?" asked the homunculus, Irisviel von Einzbern. She was a beautiful woman with pale complexion and long, flowing white hair. Her pose was graceful, yet her cheerful smile was almost childish.
Overall she had a 'high class yet innocent lady' kind of feeling coming from her.
The person whom she addressed as Saber was a blond-haired girl in an armoured dress. One might felt the aura of royalty and nobility coming from her in her presence. That was because she was none other than the legendary King Arthur of Britain, and she had been summoned as a Servant to fight in the Holy Grail War as a Servant of Emiya Kiritsugu.
Publicly, though, she was known as a Servant of Irisviel.
The girl, Saber, shook her head and returned her attention to the sight outside the window, specifically to the two individuals who were playing on that snowy forest.
"It confuses me..." Saber voiced her thought for Irisviel to hear. "Irisviel, what manner of person is my master?"
"Hmm…" Irisviel put a finger on her cheek, contemplating on the question. "Instead of asking me, why don't you decide by yourself by seeing his actions? I'm sure you will understand what a great person Kiritsugu is," Irisviel said. Her face was beaming with innocence-filled belief on her husband.
Saber could only smile wryly seeing her 'master's' innocence, thinking it was ironic that this homunculus was able to show a far more human-like emotion than her human husband.
At the same time in Fuyuki, a golden-haired Servant was observing the world, the domain that was and had always been his, through the eyes of his 'servants' from his throne in the manor that belonged to the Tohsaka family, another one of the founding families of Fuyuki Holy Grail War and the owner of the land.
The golden Servant scowled as he took in the view of the current world, making no effort to hide his distaste of his subjects.
"Tokiomi, it seems that in my absence the number of mongrels has increased exponentially," the golden Servant said to a gentlemanly-looking middle-aged man who was standing near the wall.
He was a tall man with slightly tanned skin, wearing a red-suit, and complete with a goatee on his middle-aged face. He radiated the aura of antiquity and old fashioned European noble. To put it simply he was a very traditional person, adhering strictly to the tradition and lifestyle of a magus.
Tokiomi bowed his head in humility towards the golden Servant.
"Please show them your mercy, my king. Since your time of death, humanity has been divided over and over until they finally lost the strength and pride that they were once proud of," the current head of the Tohsaka family pleaded, causing the golden Servant to snort in disdain.
"Hah! Tokiomi, you spoke as if you are any different from them," the golden Servant said, causing Tokiomi to flinch slightly. "Remember this well, it doesn't matter to me that you are a magus, mongrel is still a mongrel. Those who claim otherwise are simply fools who forget their place."
Tokiomi remained silent as he kept his posture. Then, he nodded his head in compliance.
"I will carve your words in my heart, my king," Tokiomi said, showing his off his humility and obedience towards the Servant. Deep down, however, he was frustrated at his Servant's behaviour and his own inability to control him.
The golden Servant snorted, returning his sight to the bright moon outside the window. The light of the moon almost looked ominous, as if signally the upcoming disaster that would strike the world.
"Those Servants better worth my time, or else…" the golden Servant spat, his eyes filled with contempt.
There was a proverbial phrase 'be careful what you wish for', and in this case the golden Servant still had no idea at this time that he would receive far more than what he was expecting.
"Quite an unsightly spectacle…" a man in a priest clothing whispered to himself as he silently listened to the conversation between his teacher and his Servant from behind the wall.
"To lower himself, swallowing his pride, casting away his self, all in order to reach his goal…I could never understand how magus operate," the man thought.
His gaze then shifted to the shadow that was crouching on a tree outside.
"No matter…I will just do what my father and my teacher expect me to do…for now."
"W-wait up, Rider!"
"It's fine! It's fine! To let bottles of wine being displayed likes trophies is in itself a sin that this King of Conqueror could overlook!"
"That doesn't mean you can just go and rob the wine shop!"
A big, burly red-head man and a young, slender boy exchanged a heated conversation (well, heated in the boy's eyes only, though) as they quickly made their way out after busting the wine store, carrying dozens of wine and beer bottles back with them.
"I take it all the preparations have been completed?"
"Do not worry, Sola-Ui, with this network of familiars, no matter the who the master is and what manner of Servant he has, none of them will slip through our detection."
"Humph, I expect at least this much. What about Lancer?"
"What about him?"
"Are you not going to give him his order?"
"Why yes, but not now. No, the right time will come soon.
"Patience…soon…soon…the chance to strike down our prey will come…"
"Ryuunosuke, this is how you preserve 'art' as long as possible."
"WHOAAA! That's like, SUPER AWESOME! I didn't know we could do that to the human body.
"Master, it appears you have much to learn. Come, let me share my knowledge on 'art'."
"Seriously? Man, you're awesome!"
She was dancing.
Her heart was in joy.
All the seven Servants had been summoned, leaving none for her to participate in the 'war'.
Even so, her heart leaped with joy and she could not stop herself from dancing with giddiness.
"It is here, it is here, the moment it is born everything will perish~," the girl sang.
She was standing in a deep, dark and large cave, below Mount Enzo in Miyama.
She was dancing in joy because this was the site where 'it' could be born.
She had no need for regular Servant with a normal class.
'It' was a Servant that would allow her to fulfil her wish.
She could summon 'it' because she knew there were flaws in the system of the War and that the Grail itself had been corrupted.
So she danced with joy.
For 'it' was an existence so evil and corrupted that 'it' would bring forth nothing but destruction to the world.
The incarnation of 'All the World's Evil'.
Once she had summoned it, the melody of ruin would automatically begin to play from within the miracle.
She had lied to her father and sister, telling them that she would summon the mightiest of all Servants and opened the path to Akasha.
Ah…what would their faces look like when they finally realize what she was about to do?
She could not contain her excitement at the prospect of discovering that unknown territory.
And so she sang her incantation with joy.
Fill Fill Fill Fill Fill
Fill the Cup Ten Times and Empty the Cup Ten Times
Destroy the Cup Five Times and Rebuilt the Cup Five Times
Repeat the Process Until Nothing But Blackness Remains
Oh Ye Who is Cursed By the World and Curse the World
Oh Ye Who is Hated By the World and Hate the World
Oh Ye Who is Outside of Order and Bound to Chaos
Oh Ye Who Despise and is Despised by the Order
Oh Ye Who is Both a Subject and a Sire Of Chaos
Life is a Lie, Death is the Truth
Life is a Curse, Death is Salvation
From the Plane of Gaia, I summoned Thee From the Root of Everything
Heed My Call as the Avatar of Akasha, Oh Harbinger of Death
The girl finished her incantation and a wicked smile etched itself on her face as the whole cave started to glow with ominous purple light, the sign that her summoning was successful.
As the beginning of the fourth Holy Grail War was all but started, in another world completely different from where the Servants and masters lived in, a certain bald man was having a casual walk.
His look, his aura, everything about this man screamed nothing but average. If it weren't for his bald head and the hoodie with the word 'Oppai' displayed as clear as the sun on the chest, people wouldn't even think twice about paying attention at the man.
The man himself was content with people not paying any attention for him; reason why because he didn't give a flying F about what people thought about him.
And also because he had a far more urgent thing to be done.
"Where is it?" the bald man muttered, his voice crackling and his body was drenched in sweat.
The bald man was in pain.
It was almost unbearable and if he's careless for even a second, he felt it would be over for him.
Even so, he had to do this.
He had to find its whereabouts.
To do it somewhere else was out of question.
The bald man slowly brought a hand to his stomach.
As the bald man held his stomach with his hands, his eyes fell upon the salvation that would finally relief him from this pain.
What his sight fell into was a door…with the word 'TOILET' displayed clearly.
"FOUND IT!" the bald man ran into the supermarket where the toilet was, smiling, knowing that the nightmare would finally be over.
However, as his hand reached to the knob and spin it, his expression turned to one of horror.
"SOMEONE'S USING IT! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK!"
The bald man fell to the ground as he wailed at this denial of salvation.
To truly understand what exactly happened to the bald man and how it happened, we must go back to around half an hour ago.
~ Flashback ~
"Aah…my stomach hurts…" the bald man muttered as he entered his toilet. "Eh…" As his eyes took the sight of his toilet, he noticed a peculiarity.
"Where's the tissues?" the man thought. He was sure he had stock it up a week ago, but now there's not a single sheet left.
Where did it go?
No, more importantly…
"Guess I've got no choice, I'll just go to a convenience store or public toilet."
And so the man ran to the public toilet, but once he arrived there, he could do nothing but look with twitching eyes.
'CLOSED FOR RENOVATION'
The man looked at the sign, scratching his head as he turned away from his first option.
"Oh well, guess I'll just have to use the one in the convenience store."
And so the man ran to the closest convenience store, yet once he arrived there for the second time he was greeted with similar sign.
'CLOSED FOR REPARATION'
With a blank look, the bald man silently left as he went to search for another toilet.
And thus the man ran to the department store near the station, yet once he arrived there he was greeted with an army of toilet users.
The number of people that needed to use the toilet was so high that the queue went outside the department store.
"1…2…3…" The bald man started counting how many more until it was finally his turn, but once the number hit double digit he started to sweat a bit, and once it hit triple digit his face turned pale. "731…732...733…"
The man instantly held his stomach. The call of nature was becoming unbearable.
And so he abandoned the department store and searched for another toilet.
'CLOSED FOR REPARATION'
'NEW TOILET IN CONSTRUCTION'
'CLEANING IN PROGRESS'
"Umm…this toilet was demolished three days ago…"
"Hey! Stand in line, baldy!"
The bald man panted, not from exhaustion but from the sheer fact that every single toilet was either being serviced or he had to stand in very long line to get into one.
And so…the man screamed as the gravity of the situation dawned upon him.
"Hu!" the man started to sweat as he felt the call of nature became more intense than ever before. "If it came down to this, maybe…" The man looked at the bush.
That bush looked like it could hide a grown up adult…
The man instantly shook his head, erasing any thought of answering the call of nature in its natural habitat.
"If there isn't one in the city…then what about outside!?"
Thus the man ran again until he finally reached the first supermarket just barely outside the city.
And thus that was how the man reached the situation that he was currently in.
"Manager, is there other toilet here?" the bald man asked.
The shopkeeper looked away from his newspaper and observed the bald man who asked that question.
"That's the only one," the shopkeeper answered, devastating the bald man. Then as if that wasn't enough, the shopkeeper informed the bald man of the cruel reality. "Also, there's no other supermarket or convenience store beyond this point. If you want to use the toilet, either you wait until that person finish or you use the public toilets in the city."
The bald man looked as if he had given up on his bottom.
But then he had a bright idea…that made him instantly lament why he didn't think about it earlier.
If he didn't have tissues, all he needed to do was to buy them of course.
With his speed, after he bought tissues he could instantly run back to his house and use his toilet.
Having thought about that, the bald man reached out to his pockets…only to discover that he forgot to bring money.
The bald man was shattered, and he limply made his way out of the supermarket.
"Hey, you're not gonna wait for the toilet?" the shopkeeper asked.
"No…I have accepted that it is my calling to return to 'it' directly to mother nature," the bald man weakly replied.
"?" The shopkeeper tilted his head in confusion, but shrugged off the bald man's condition and returned to his newspaper.
The bald man walked limply as the calling of the stomach became more and more intense.
The man fell to the ground.
"Is this…how it ends?"
"At the very least…at the very least…if only I have something to wipe it…" the bald man lamented. A wizened chuckle immediately grabbed his attention. The bald man looked up and saw an old man standing over him.
"…Who is this old man? Cosplaying as a wizard…does he not have anything better to do?" the bald man thought as he took in the old man's appearance
The old man really looked like a wizard. With black and purple robe, complete with a cane, he had to be a really hardcore cosplayer.
The old man bowed his head down to get a clearer look at the bald man. "Need a help, young man?" the old man asked.
"…Uh, no, not really."
The old man laughed merrily. "No need to be reserved, I know you're in quite a pinch right now."
"…Yeah? How did you know?"
"That's because I'm a 'magician'," the old man answered, grinning mischievously.
The bald man stood up, and he admiringly put his hands on the old man's shoulders.
"I'm impressed old man. You've dedicated yourself to keep your purity for such a long time."
The old man blinked, not understanding what the bald man was saying. "What exactly are you talking about?"
"Well, weren't you able to become a magician because you stay single and a virgin the whole time?" the bald man asked.
Instantly the old man hit the bald man with his cane. "…You totally got the wrong idea. I'm not that kind of magician."
The bald man remained unfazed and unscathed even though he had been hit really hard with the old man's wooden cane. "Then what? Are you gonna pull out something from your sleeve? A bird maybe? If so, take it somewhere else. I have no time for this," the bald man said. He started to lose his patience, especially since he could already feel the thing moving down from his stomach to somewhere in his bottom.
"Something like that, but what I will pull out will solve your problem," the old man said. He reached into his sleeve and then he pulled out a long red cloth. It was long enough that he could probably wrap it around his waist four times.
"Okay…" the bald man could only mutter that word as he was far from impressed with that cheap display of trickery. "Now what?"
"Now…I give this to you," the old man said, handing over the cloth to the bald man.
The bald man looked at the cloth and then at the old man. "I get it now. Old man, you're actually a door-to-door salesman, aren't you? Sorry, but I don't need this. I don't have any money with me either," the bald man said.
"That's for free," the old man said.
"That is a failed product, you see. It did not turn out as I was expecting," the old man explained.
"…Wait, isn't this very dangerous, then? Why would you give out a failed product to me?" the bald man complained.
"You see…" the old man walked closer to the bald man, and he brought his mouth closer to the bald man's ear. The old man then whispered, "Instead of wiping out inorganic things, that cloth instead turned out to be very effective in wiping out organic objects."
Revelations dawned upon the bald man, as he started to understand the old man's words. "So you're saying…."
"It will feel really good after you use it, you know? Your bottom that is…"
The bald man looked at the red cloth as if it was his salvation. He instantly bowed his head in gratitude towards the old man. "Old man, thank you very much!"
The next instant the bald man disappeared, leaving behind the old man who was laughing from seeing the bald man's vigour.
The old man stared into the distance, specifically to where the bald man was heading, and then he heaved out a heavy sigh.
"Will you be able to change the scenario of ruin that has been playing for so long…Saitama, no, Caped Baldy," the old man whispered. He then took out three rolls of tissues from his robe, three rolls of tissues that he had obtained from the house of a certain baldy. "Now…what should I do with these?"
The girl's heart leaped with joy.
The summoning was complete.
In the middle of the cave stood what appeared to be a rectangular box made of stone.
It was without a doubt the 'cage' where 'All of the World's Evil' was sealed in.
The girl playfully jumped towards the 'cage', all the while thinking how many years, months, weeks, days, hours, seconds, had she waited for this moment.
She affectionately caressed the 'cage' where it remained dormant still.
All she needed to do was to break it open. Once it revealed itself, it would automatically begin spreading its corruption to every corner of the world.
"Show yourself…Angra Mainyu," the girl joyfully sang.
Black tentacles appeared from beneath her feet, from her left, from her right, it was all around her. In fact the whole cave had been covered with black tentacles that the young girl had created.
She was an extraordinary existence.
As a magus her magic circuits was beyond measurement, to the point where the word phenomenal would severely undermine its quality, and with its abnormal, unprecedented composition, combined with her connection to the Root, she could accomplish things that no other magus could.
It was not even an exaggeration to put her on the same level of those who carried the miracles from the Root, the 'magicians'.
The girl commanded her tentacles to break open the 'cage 'of 'All the World's Evil', and so they did.
First the tentacles ripped the right side of the 'cage', and then it tore apart the left side and the top simultaneously.
Once it had finished, all that was left was the wall in front of her.
The wall that prevented her from meeting her 'Servant'.
The girl commanded the tentacles to shred the wall in front of her.
Her Servant…All the World's Evil was hers.
That was not the reaction that she herself had expected.
She herself didn't know she could have such a reaction.
Reason being, instead of the incarnation of 'All the World's Evil', what stood in front of her was…
"…The hell did you do that for? You got a problem with my bathroom?"
…a naked bald man.
The girl was speechless as she stared at the man stood in his birthday suit in all its glory.
For the second time, the girl herself didn't know she could have a reaction like this.
The bald man's eyes were fixated upon the girl.
After he had finished answering the call of nature, he decided to take a nice long bath when the power suddenly went out.
The bald man did not realize that at that time the red cloth that he used to wipe his bottom clean was softly glowing with purple light, and that his bathroom was enveloped by similar light.
When he was about to put on his clothes again so he could go out to see the cause of the blackout, suddenly his bathroom was torn apart and a little girl stood in front of him…with a baffled expression on her face.
"No, no, it's me who should be confused," the bald man thought.
"…The hell did you do that for? You got a problem with my bathroom?" the bald man asked, irritated that his brand new bathroom was already roughed up when he had only used it for a week. "Wait a second, where did my house go? It's gone again?" the baldy asked as he realized his apartment room had been replaced with a giant cave. "Oh well, at least I didn't pay for it," the bald man thought, casually tossing aside the fate of his new house to the back of his mind.
"…Angra Mainyu is actually a pervert exhibitionist baldy?" the girl asked, completely unable to belief that the incarnation of all evil was a giant pervert.
Instantly, cross-popping veins appeared on the bald man's head. "Oi! Who do you call a baldy, huh!?"
The bald man totally ignored the fact that he was also called a pervert exhibitionist.
The girl dismissed the bald man's anger, and simply carried on with life like it was nothing.
"No matter," the girl began. "Servant Avenger, I am your master Sajyou Manaka. I have call upon you to carry forth the true purpose of your existence. To participate in the Holy Grail War and bring forth corruption and destruction upon this world." the girl, Manaka, explained.
The bald man slowly picked his nose.
"The hell you're talking about? I'm no servant, I'm a hero," the bald man said.
"Besides, causing destruction upon the world…little girl, even an office lady who is bored out of her mind wouldn't do that," the bald man added.
"Wait, it is your nature to destroy and kill every human, right? You are Angra Mainyu, after all."
The man picked his nose again, not understanding a single thing that the girl was blabbering about.
"No, like I said, what are you talking about? I have not a single clue about it. Also, my name is not Angra Mainyu, it's Saitama," the bald man, Saitama, revealed.
"S-Saitama?" The girl was exasperated. Could it be she had made a mistake somewhere in the summoning ritual? But it couldn't be. Plus, for some reason she knew nothing about this man after hearing that name. Usually information from the Root was sent into her head once she identified something, but there was nothing about this man.
Manaka took out a book from her bag.
That book served one purpose.
And that is to show the information of the Servants.
Since he had revealed his name, the full details of his information should have appeared in the book.
Manaka opened it, skim through the pages, and smiled once she found what she was looking.
She became speechless, though, as she read the class of her newly summoned Servant.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!? Servant Class…INAPPLICABLE!?"
As the cave was filled with the surprised screaming of a young girl, the Servant, the Caped Baldy, Saitama, was wondering what he would have for dinner.
End of Chapter 1