Hello everybody, and welcome to my new story. In case you didn't bother reading the description, this is a sequel to my previous Wander Over Yonder story, "The Game". Not much else to say, except that Wander Over Yonder is owned by Disney, so let's just jump right into it. Enjoy.
The Second Date: Chapter 1.
The ultimate instrument for cleansing the body, the mind, and the soul.
This is a fact accepted by over one hundred million species throughout the known universe.
However, unbeknownst to all but a select few, this hot, wet, swirling vapor can do much more than just open pores.
When used properly, and in the right intensity, steam can open doors.
Doors into the past, the future, and even into other planes of existence.
Which is why, for the past eleven or so minutes, the lovely lime-skinned seductress known professionally as Lord Dominator sat quietly within her black marble bath, staring unblinkingly into a sea of pure white mist.
"I am ready." She spoke up suddenly; a sinister grin spreading across her face. "Let the ritual begin."
With that said, Dominator gave her neck a few sharp cracks, and after a quick clearing of the throat, she spoke again.
"I give you a coin I carved from bone. I give you a song I stole from the earth." She chanted, her voice echoing off the high ceiling of her private bath. "I give you a knife from the deserts of Skrill. And a stick that I stuck through a blind man's throat."
As the strange words left her mouth, the black marble columns that lined the room began to vibrate; giving off a loud high-pitched whine that Dominator didn't seem to mind.
"I give you a claw I ripped from a cat. I give you a name that must never be spoken." She continued; her voice growing steadily louder. "I give you the blood I drained from a stone. And the feather I plucked from a peacock's tail."
As the whining grew louder and louder, the waters in her swimming pool sized bath began to churn. And yet still she remained unfazed.
"I call you, O Lord of the Mists! I summon you with poison and with passion! I light the way and open the gates!" Dominator continued fervently, clearly about to reach the climax. "Coin and Song! Knife and Stick! Claw and Name! Blood and Feather! Through the Mist! Through the Mist! Through the Mist! Through the Mist! Through the Mist! I command you! Appear!"
Suddenly, a loud splash was heard; as if something very big and very heavy had just been dropped into the massive bath. Moments later, the whining ceased and was immediately replaced by a loud unearthly voice.
"What fool dares to summon Ogilac, Lord of the Mists and Breaker of Minds?" asked something, in a voice that was neither male nor female. "What poor, unfortunate creature had the arrogance to rouse me from my sound slumber and drag me to this den of self-indulgence?"
The owner of the voice was obscured by the steam, but Dominator could just barely make out a silhouette. Whatever it was, it was big; at least five times her own size. It also appeared to have three long swanlike heads and an incalculable number of writhing tentacles.
"What lowly, insignificant insect has the gall to…"
"Cut the sales pitch Oogie. It's only me." Dominator interrupted playfully. However, instead of enraging the otherworldly entity, the lime-skinned queen of evil earned a delighted squeal.
"Deedee~ Oh, my dear sweet child! Why didn't you say so?" the malevolent entity, apparently named Oogie, gushed with almost girlish glee. "Oh my Grop, how long has it been?"
"Too long, old friend. Much too long."
"Clearly! I mean, just look at you. All grown up and pretty. Just like your mother."
"Oh, stop it Oogie." Dominator replied cutely; a touch of pink appearing on her greenish cheeks. "You're embarrassing me."
"Sorry, I just can't help myself." Oogie apologized before letting out a jolly snort. "So tell me darling, to what do I owe the pleasure of this summons?"
"Well… it's kind of a long story, but I'll skip to the main point." Dominator began, pausing only for a moment for dramatic effect. "I'm in love!"
"O-M-Goodness~" the silhouetted horror squealed excitedly. "Well don't just sit there leaving me in suspense! Give me all the juicy bits! What's his name? Where did you meet him? How good is he at giving foot rubs?"
"In that order; his name is Wander, we met when I made my big debut in this hick galaxy, and I'm not really sure, but now that you've put the image in my head I can't wait to find out!"
"Well, I'm just thrilled to pieces for you darling. Tell me, what's he like?"
"Oogie, he's the one."
"That's nice dear, but can you be a little more specific?"
"No Oogie, I mean he's 'the' one."
A sudden silence fell over the room; almost as if Dominator's vague declaration had eliminated all the sound in the universe. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the eldritch horror spoke up again.
"You… you don't mean he's… 'the one', do you?"
"That's right~ The very 'one' from the prophecy you told me when I was a little girl." The lime-skinned villainess professed joyously. "The Traveler. The Bard. The Good Samaritan. The man whose love for me will rot his pure heart from within, turning him into my King of Darkness."
"Are you sure?"
"One thousand percent." Dominator answered. "All the signs are there. He's a nomad, he sings, he goes out of his way to help people; just like you described. Plus, he's just so darn cute and corruptible that I wanna cuddle him forever on a mountain of fluffy pillows~"
"Yes… well, that all sounds just lovely. But what does that have to do with me?" asked the monstrous silhouette confusedly. "If you're this smitten, then there can be no question that you've found your man. So what do you need me for?"
"Well… it's like this, Oogie." Dominator began. "See, I've already taken the first step; I've planted the Seeds of Attraction deep within his pure heart. Now I just need to find the best way nurture them, so that they grow into the pitch black Roses of Lust and Desire. Any suggestions?"
"Ah~ So it's another look into the future that you seek?"
"If it's not too much trouble."
"For you my dear, never. Just give me a minute."
And with that said, the giddy horror began to hum.
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm~" Oogie droned; causing the surrounding pillars to vibrate once again. "Yessss~ I can see through the Grand Illusion and peel back the Veil of Time~ Yessss~ I see… I see… A Ring!"
"Yesss~ A Ring surrounded by a sea of grasping palms~"
"Hold on, just give a moment. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm~ I see… two figures~ A man and a woman~ Standing side by side~ Hand in hand~ Amidst an ocean of blood and death~"
"Uh-huh, what else?" asked Dominator, suddenly sounding very excited.
"As the world around them crumbles and falls, the two figures stare longingly into each other's eyes~ Slowly their faces move closer and closer together~ Until~"
"Until they kiss~"
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~" the vile villainess squealed like a lovesick schoolgirl, as her heart exploded with unbridled joy.
"It's been a while since I've been in this dimension, was that a sad sound or a happy sound?"
"It was happy, Oogie." Dominator replied as she allowed herself to calm down a little. "Happy, Happy, Happy."
After about a minute or so, the lime-skinned beauty let out deep sigh; finally regaining her usual composure.
"So, let me see if I get this straight." She began; her tone both playful yet matter-of-factly. "All I have to is find this ring or whatever, and that will somehow lead to an epic and fully consensual make out session between me and my little Pumpkin?"
"Well, I can't say for sure. My visions aren't always so literal. The ring may very well be a metaphor for something else. As could everything else I saw. Even the kiss itself could be symbolic for any number of other… Your little what?"
"Never mind, just finish explaining."
"Yes, well… as I was saying, don't take my prophecy at face value. And don't try to force it either. Just go about your business as usual and be open to whatever the universe presents you."
"Okay, I'll keep that in mind." Said Dominator with grateful grin. "Thanks Oogie. You're the best."
"Anytime, my sweet. Anytime."
(Three Weeks Later)
"Obviously a scam."
"Ugh, that is one ugly cat."
It is a little-known fact that when a villain, especially one as feared and as powerful as Lord Dominator, suddenly finds him or herself with absolutely nothing even remotely evil to do, nine times out of ten their first instinct is to do random searches on the internet; the tenth time is usually a tossup between sleeping all day or ordering takeout, but that is neither here nor there.
All that matters is that Dominator was bored beyond measure, and the local broadband wasn't helping.
"Jeez! What's with this ultra-lame galaxy and its ultra-lame internet!" the lime-skinned villainess exclaimed as she leaned back into her command chair and huffed childishly. "No cool fighting games, no decent shopping, and way too many stupid cute cat videos!"
Letting out a groan of frustration, Dominator casually fired a tiny stream of lava from her index finger at one of her adjacent Dom-Bots; first impaling it, then causing it to exploded. With that little bit of catharsis out of the way, she then returned to her seemingly futile quest for entertainment.
"Oh well, I guess I'll check out the Galactic Villain Message Board." She said as she typed in the site's URL. "Maybe one of those second-rate hacks actually found something worth stealing."
With one final click of the mouse, Dominator was on the Message Board and almost immediately her eyes lit up like supernova. Within the last thirty minutes, the site had become flooded with new posts and comments; all of them carrying a similar theme.
Dudes! There's this Ring of Invincibility on top of the Blasteroid Asteroid Formation, and I'm totally gonna nab it!
SkeletorElectrico#1SuperStar replied to MacDaddyKingShark12:
Fat chance Fish-Face! I'm gonna get that ring first, and then I'm gonna use it to destroy you and everyone else who gets in my way!
DiabolicalMonteCristo replied to SkeletorElectrico#1SuperStar:
You're both idiots if you think you're going to get to that ring before I do.
The battle for the Ring of Invincibility has grown quite fierce. I only arrived a few minutes ago and already I've lost nine… uh, twelve Wingmen to enemy fire. It looks like just about every Level 6 Villain and above is here, but so far no sign of Lord Dominator. If that psycho gets the ring first, we're all as good as dead.
PitchBlackTesseract replied to WingDingKing34:
Dude, whoever gets that ring first, everyone else is as good as dead.
BloodStainedPussyCat813 replied to PitchBlackTesseract:
Unless Lord Hater gets to it first. That guy's so dumb he'll probably break it, or lose it, or drop it in a black hole before he can use it.
DrBananaMan62 replied to BloodStainedPussyCat813:
I'd say that statement 'Rings' true!
PitchBlackTesseract replied to DrBananaMan62:
O-Holy-Cow! This battle is nuts! Lasers blasting, explosions everywhere, guys getting thrown at other guys; this is turning into a real brouhaha.
TheFlamingPigGod replied to WatchHogAccountant99:
I know what you mean. I just saw that that old geezer Mandrake set some poor guy on fire.
WatchHogAccountant99 replied to TheFlamingPigGod:
I heard about that, but I thought it was just an urban legend.
TheFlamingPigGod replied to WatchHogAccountant99:
Dude, this battle started twenty minutes ago. How could there already be urban legends about it?
WatchHogAccountant99 replied to TheFlamingPigGod:
Hey, what's everybody talking about?
There were at least two or three dozen more comments relating to this subject, but Dominator didn't bother reading them. She didn't need to. She already had all the information she needed.
"So… there's a Ring of Ultimate Power out there and every second-rate conqueror and two-bit miscreant in this stinkin' galaxy is trying to take it for themselves, eh?" she mused to herself as she recalled a certain conversation she'd had several weeks prior. "How very interesting. Computer! How far is it to the Blateroid Asteroid Formation?"
"Calculating…" replied her ship's onboard computer as it began searching its massive databanks for the answer. "The Blasteroid Asteroid Formation is exactly 2.45 Parsecs from our current location."
"Excellent…" said Dominator in a stereotypically sinister fashion. "Fire a long-range probe! I wanna see what I'm getting into before I bust in there and school all those dorks."
(Five Minutes Later)
"Ugh!" Lord Dominator groaned childishly as she impatiently tapped her fingers against the arm of her command chair. "How much longer is this going to take?"
"Calculating…" replied the ship's onboard computer. "Estimated time it will take to synchronize with long-range probe: twenty seconds."
"Well can hurry it up? If I don't see some violence soon, I'm gonna start making my own."
"Synchronization complete. Visual link established with long-range probe."
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Now put it up on the big screen!"
With an almost fearful urgency, the ship's computer complied and a split-second later Dominator's black heart swelled with unimaginable joy.
The scene playing out before her was like something from a dream. Watchdogs fighting Fist Fighters, Schmartians fighting Beefeaters, lasers blasting everything, explosions going off everywhere, guys getting set on fire, and sitting right at the top was a great big ruby red ring of invincibility; the perfect cherry for this sundae of carnage.
"Oooo~ Ho~ Ho~ Ho~ Ho~ Hoooo~" the lime-skinned villainess squealed with delight. "Oh man, I can't believe all these idiots are in the same place. And they're all practically clawing each other's eyes out just so they can snatch some dinky little Power Ring. I'm almost sorry I have to bust in and remind them all who's boss."
Dominator was just about to burst into a fit of evil laughter, when she noticed something very strange at the bottom of the screen.
"What the heck is that?"
"Insufficient Data. Cannot provide appropriate response."
"Just shut up and zoom in where I'm pointing!"
And with that said, the camera zoomed in on a small rock formation located at the very bottom of the asteroid field. There, much to her immeasurable shock and amusement, she saw the unmistakable form of Zbornak dorsal fin and an oh-so familiar green hat.
"O~ What is this?" Dominator asked, suddenly sounding amorous as well as excited. "The biggest rumble in the universe and my sweet little Pumpkin and his loser sidekick are caught smackdab in the middle of it."
She paused momentarily to lean back into her chair and shudder with ecstasy.
"Oh~ Mama like, Mama like~" Dominator swooned before finally straightening herself up. "This is going to be… The. Best. Second. Date. EVER~"
End Notes: And so ends chapter one. Right now, I'm planning on this one being a little bit longer than the first one. At least four or five chapters, depending on what I want to do with it. Anyway, be sure to fav, follow, and leave a review if you liked it. Catch you on the flipside.