I'm trying to get momentum on CVN again, but it's difficult, so I thought I'd try something else.

In this world, Sarah is the CIA's (or at least Graham's) version of IAD, so as well as being their top spy. She was supposedly assigned to work Larkin for two years (and had to sleep with him to pull off her cover, far less than he wanted but far more than she did) to get the dirt on him, but Graham's been playing games, who'da thunk it? A number of others aren't what they seem, either.

Usual disclaimers, no rights to any characters portrayed, and this ain't the real world.


Agent Sarah Walker was furious as she headed into the stupid retail store, after two years of working that sleazy bastard Larkin, Graham takes her off the assignment temporarily for one mission in Budapest to check out someone else and Larkin somehow breaks into a highly secure NSA facility? Something stank here, there was no way that Larkin had the ability to get past the security controls to break in, now the fact that he was killed trying to get out though, THAT she could believe.

So after Graham's screw up caused this to happen, he tells her she has to get to California to fix his mess (luckily she was already here), that part at least was believable, that's what she'd been doing ever since that evil bastard managed to blackmail her into joining the CIA, because while she was OK with the idea of her father getting what was coming to him, she couldn't let Graham go after Mama.

She knew Graham was playing games though, because she'd originally been sent here to look into Larkin's buddy Woodcomb and try and retrieve what Larkin stole. She could believe that Larkin would send it to him because they were tight, she'd heard all about Larkin growing up with him back in Connecticut and knew that he and Larkin were two of a kind. But now she was here though, Graham was sending her after some other guy who'd supposedly been Larkin's buddy at Stanford? That just didn't make sense, Larkin had never talked about this guy, something wasn't right with this!

When she walked in the door she scanned the store, recognising her target over at the 'Nerd Herd' (what the hell was that?) counter with some retarded Latino leprechaun yammering at him while he was trying to speak to someone on the phone, and she smiled to herself as she advanced on the target, this should be easy! He was beat-boxing something about Vicky Vale? that the other one said, which was kind of cute, if dorky, and she had to smile when he dropped the phone as soon as he looked up and saw her. She was totally unprepared for this wholesome admiration that she was getting from him though, she was all too used to those leering looks that made feel unclean, like she was getting from that other little turd, NOT the look she was getting from Chuck that made her feel warm inside.

They made their introductions, and Chuck's banter was cute, though his buddy didn't appreciate it when he shot down what he thought was his chance of making himself look suave. But Chuck's eyes and smile were really throwing her off balance, so she had to fall back on the standards, coming out with the lame old 'oh, my phone is broken' ploy. That didn't buy her much time though, as he had it fixed in a jiffy, damn he was good! She was trying to come up with something that would free her from the spell of his eyes, so she was actually relieved when that rude bastard came running up, dragging a little girl in a tutu with him, and pushed in saying that they had to help him because the camera didn't work.

Chuck, took the camera and opened it, to find that there was no tape in it. He was trying to politely point out that it couldn't work without a tape, over the idiot's protestations of 'but it's digital!' and that his wife was going to kill him, as well as the little turd's comments, when he looked at the little girl. She was about to cry, and at that, Chuck turned to HER with an apologetic look, saying 'I'm so sorry' and told the little turd, Morgan, that he needed 'the wall', whatever the fuck that was.

Sarah was stunned, she was the very best at what she did, that was why Graham used her, she worked the best spies and wrapped them around her little finger, but when this little girl looked as though she was going to cry he blew her off? That had NEVER happened to her before! Now she was thinking that there had to be more to this guy, he couldn't be the simple mark he was supposed to be, so she carefully watched and listened to everything he did and said. When he gave the little girl the confidence she needed to go for it by telling her the 'secret' that real ballerinas ARE tall though, Sarah felt a warm gooey feeling that was rapidly spreading through her from her nether regions, that never happened to her before either.

When he'd pulled off the impromptu ballet recital and saved that little girl's day, Chuck turned back to Sarah, but she'd suddenly remembered why his eyes and that smile were so familiar and had such an effect on her, this was fucking Charlie, her 'boyfriend' from when she was three, as his big sister Ellie had kept telling him! Luckily she was saved again, by some Chinese goblin this time, who cut Chuck off and started yammering at him like some demented Asian Hitler, so Sarah took that opportunity to drop her card on the counter and run, as there was no way she could put on the act she'd need to fool Charlie now!

Sarah peeled out of the carpark as quick as she could, her mind going several times faster than the Porsche. What was with this name, Bartowski? That wasn't their name before, what had she been told to call Auntie Mary at the start? 'Missus Bartol', that was it! Why had they changed their name? She had to laugh at herself at that 'Yeah Sammie, why would CHARLIE change his name?'

She went back to the Maison23 to try and sort this out, she couldn't tell Graham that she knew the target, that would just be asking for Graham to go after him, but she KNEW that Charlie wouldn't be tied up with anything that Larkin was doing. When she opened the file that had been delivered while she was out though, she was sure that she knew what was going on, as Charlie was living with his sister, Ellie, and her boyfriend, fucking Woodcomb!

That HAD to be the link, Larkin and Woodcomb were thick as thieves (fitting description for them), so Larkin must have sent it to Woodcomb, and the idiots at the CIA just got it wrong and thought that it went to Charlie. She did wonder what happened to Auntie Mary and Uncle Stefan, but she couldn't worry about that now, her priority was to clear Charlie and get away from here before he recognised her and found out what she'd become, working for Graham!

As flashing her cleavage at Ellie would distract her even less than it did Charlie, and she was more likely to recognise little Sammie now that she was all grown up than Charlie was (given that she'd been nearly eight when Sammie was three and Charlie was four), Sarah decided to use a ninja outfit to mask her identity when she infiltrated their apartment, strapping her breasts as tight as she could stand and moving like a man to minimise the chance of being recognised as a woman, let alone Sammie.

She had no trouble getting into their apartment and went hunting for what it was that Larkin sent, but she ran into another problem, as the only internet connection and computer in the apartment were both in Charlie's room! When Sarah realised that she'd somehow spent over half an hour in there, just looking at Charlie's things, she swore at herself and quickly searched for any external storage devices, not finding any, she unplugged the computer to take back to the local CIA point of presence (because they didn't have stations in the United States as they officially didn't operate on U.S. soil), to clear Charlie and get out of here.

As she was heading for the door to leave, however, it opened and Charlie was there, with that little turd from the store. Sarah put the computer down and assumed the stance, and the little turd started throwing things at her. Sarah noticed something else, though, Charlie was fighting his instincts to engage her, obviously he was covering up because of that other one, so she deflected the things thrown at her back into Charlie to put him off guard. She was paying more attention to Charlie than the turd, though, so SHE was caught off guard when he threw something heavier, and it got Charlie right in the family jewels when she knocked it back, her heart went out to him then.

When the idiot hit him in the head with a vase and had the gall to scream "Do something!" at him, Charlie started advancing on her (and she knew at least some of that pain he was showing was real), so she decided to put an end to this. Throwing the computer to him, she swept his legs out from under him and then kicked him across the room as he caught it, catching the computer in turn and putting it on a shelf while she took out the turd, only to have the shelf collapse and smash the computer into smithereens when she'd done so.


Sarah took off then, heading straight back to the unofficial CIA station and demanding to see the SAC. When he came out, she threw the keys for the basic black Porsche at him (taking some pleasure from his look of pain as they hit him in the chest) and said "That piece of shit's been seen, so it's compromised, have the Black Carrera Cabriolet that I originally asked for delivered to me at the Maison23 by morning or pack your bags!"

The man puffed his chest out "Who do you think you're talking to agent?.."

When Sarah shoved her credentials in his face, he froze. "Yes of course, Agent Walker, a black Carrera Cabriolet will be delivered and the keys left for you at the desk by morning!"

Sarah nodded, saying "And I need someone to drive me back there now!"

"At once Agent Walker, Johnson! Get the Towncar and drive Agent Walker to the Maison23!"

The man stared at him, wondering what the hell was going on, and he screamed "NOW!" That got him moving.

Once she'd left, he grabbed a bottle of whiskey and downed a quarter of the bottle in one swallow.

The others in the station asked what was so important about that skirt that they had to find her a new car in the middle of the night? At which he stared at them "Are you brain dead? That's Agent Walker, the Ice Queen, Director Graham's fucking Enforcer! If you cross her you're dead! It'll be me she comes for in the morning if she doesn't get that fucking car, so get fucking moving, there better be a pristine black Porsche Carrera Cabriolet waiting for her at the Maison23 when she gets up in the morning or your families will be trying to find out what happened to you, GO!"


Back in Echo Park, Chuck was watching the surveillance video of what had happened here before he arrived home. Most of it was obvious, this woman, who was for some reason pretending to be a man, was hunting for something in their apartment, but it was the footage from his room that he didn't understand, she'd spent over half an hour in here just looking at his things, she wasn't searching, it appeared as though she was reminiscing!

From the height and build, it was a good bet that it was that beautiful blonde woman, Sarah, who'd come into the store earlier, though any commiseration he may have had for how painful it must have been for her to bind her breasts that tightly was tempered by the bag of frozen peas he was holding to his family jewels at the moment. To be fair though, he had recognised that she was trying to not hurt him too badly, and that the one he should be mad at was Morgan fucking Grimes, none of this damage would have happened to him if it wasn't for Grimes!

Chuck activated the electronic counter measures and initiated a video conference with Aunt D. When she answered, he cut to the chase and asked her what she knew about Sarah Walker? She looked at his image for nearly a minute and then said "She's Director Graham's Enforcer and she's going to arrive in L.A. tomorrow to engage you and try to retrieve what the records show Bryce Larkin sent you. How do you know that name?"

He sighed "She isn't arriving tomorrow, she's here now, she came into the store this afternoon, and she was here tonight. There's something wrong about her Aunt D, I'm sure that I know her from somewhere, and when she was here, she spent over a half an hour here, in my room, looking at my things."

"You mean searching?"

"No, just looking at my things. I've sent you the video files from here, and you should have the footage from the store."

"Yes, I'm looking at the store footage now, you're right Chuck, there's something familiar about her, but I can't put my finger on it. I'll go over the house footage when it's come through, but I was going to call you tonight anyway, is Ellie home?"

"No, she's still at the hospital."

"I'll have to tell her tomorrow then, this is the situation. Bryce Larkin supposedly broke into a highly secure NSA facility last night and stole something extremely valuable..." Chuck snorted and she nodded "I did say 'supposedly', we're looking into what actually happened at the moment. Anyway, Larkin stole the current files for the Intersect project that your father did the initial development on and then blew up the facility, we've got about twenty dead guards and technicians so far. Major Casey shot Larkin as he was trying to escape, but he apparently had the files keyed up to send before he came out, and after Major Casey shot him, he hit 'send' before he died. Here's the strange part through, the records show that he sent these files to you, do you have them?"

Chuck went white and she said "Oh Chuck, what did you do?"

"After my birthday party, I got an email from Larkin, it was a Zork file, that game we wrote together, sort of, back at Stanford, I got rid of Grimes and I answered the Zork prompt."

"Chuck, you're smarter than that! Why would you do such a thing?"

"I know! I was three parts tanked and I guess I was hoping to hear the reason that he and Jill screwed me over like that so I could put it all behind me! Anyway, when I did, the screen started flashing with thousands of images, and the next thing I knew it was morning, I was laying on the floor and Grimes was yammering in my face."

It was Aunt D's turn to go white then "Those images, they were the encoded Intersect files, do you have copies of the files?"

"No, the computer was totally fried, which I guess Sarah would have found out if she hadn't spent so much time doing god knows what in here."

"Shit, that means that Graham's still going to want to get his hands on you. As I said, Walker was supposed to be coming in tomorrow, at the same time as Major Casey, Graham must have wanted to get his hands on you first. I'll have to look into how the hell he got her there so quickly. I'm sending Agent Wu over to spend the night with you for protection until Major Casey gets there!"

"No! Please don't do that Aunt D! Every time she comes over, Anna insists that we need to sleep together to make it more believable, I like Anna, but I DON'T want to sleep with her."

"I'm sorry Chuck, but Agent Walker has a higher kill count than Major Casey, I can't take the risk of leaving you without any protection in case she's got orders to get rid of you."

"Aunt D, you know that I can look after myself, let me do it!"

"Will you shoot first if Agent Walker turns up?" Chuck looked conflicted "Exactly! You'll be trying to work out where you know her from and why she'd be looking through your things like that, and if she has orders to kill you, you'll be dead. I'm sorry Chuck, but I promised your mother that I'd look after you and Ellie, I'm sending Agent Wu!"

Chuck nodded resignedly. Aunt D thought that injecting a little humour here could help "Well at least I know what to get you for your birthday, a new computer!" He nodded again half heartedly, and they wound up the call.

When Anna came over, she gave him the usual enthusiastic kiss at the front door, but once they were in his room, once she'd changed into a tank top and sleep shorts in case anyone knocked on the door, she turned professional and set up in the corner where she could cover both the door and the window. She had a good idea that the admonition that she was there to protect Chuck and nothing else had come at least in part from him, and she wasn't too happy about that!

A/N So, does this strike anyone's interest?