A/N: As the title says, this is IMMORAL because some things happened and occur. Thank you so much for the support my Filipino fujoshis. I dont even know if I ever wanted to continue this fic but a promise is a promise. But I already plotted the ending and its worst because it's heartbreaking. Goddamn but for now, let's continue what happened.
Please be reminded that this is so bad I don't know what the fvck is happening anymore. I'll probably edit this when I know what I wanted to change, but for now enjoy this sinful chapter.
After that sudden confession Mikaela and Yuuichirou had, the two distanced themselves - mostly Mikaela did. He was not used to the closeness the Japanese is giving.
To be frank, Mikaela was frightened. Those words the raven-haired told him were making the Russian fidget. The affection Yuuichirou wanted was beyond the blonde's understanding. He didn't know what to come up with that kind of bold confession. It was also affecting Mikaela's state of focus. Once, when he was getting medicine from the cupboard then suddenly the Japanese young man appeared from his peripheral view then did he notice that he had loudly push the cabinet door with too much force causing the bottled medicines to fall in the ground. Vials smashed, scattering themselves in the floor.
The other time when Mikaela was cooking dinner, Yuuichirou magically appeared on his back, complimenting the sweet aroma of his cooking. Mikaela unconsciously put his bare hands into the steaming pot. His hands burned from the hot temperature. "Santisima, Mika!" Screamed Yuuichirou, clasping his hands to the blonde. The raven rubbed the redden palms and Mikaela probably forgotten how to breathe because Yuuichirou's lips was inches away from his. His breath smelled like that creamy soup they've just eaten since breakfast. The sparkling emerald orbs shining like real gems when lights reflected in it.
The Russian refugee blushed so bad. How many times did he blushed? He'd lost count already. Everytime the Japanese man was near him, he couldn't help but feel conscious about himself. Is his breath alright? Does his face look presentable? Was his clothes neat and tidy? God, Mika cursed into his mind. He didn't know why he's even feeling like this way towards Yuuichirou but he just wished that the raven would not be this so...attached to him.
I don't like this feeling.
"Mika! Doctor sent us a package." Announced the raven man. Mikaela was washing the dishes when Yuuichirou had told him about a package from the doctor. Wiping his wet palms with dry cloth, Mikaela drags himself towards where Yuuichirou is. He was holding a small box wrapped in paper. It's been three months since the doctor had left the both of them on their own so seeing anything coming from the doctor had given them joy. Mikaela then asked Yuuichirou to give him the package. Slowly unwrapping it, inside, was a hardbound book - two books. The brown leather cover had a fancy script written on it.
Yuuichirou creased his eyebrows in confusion and read aloud the title. "Noli me Tangere." Yuuichirou says. Mikaela had translated it to Filipino. "It literally means, 'Touch me Not.'" He explained. Saying that this must be the finished novel book of the doctor. It had two copies - probably for each of them, Mikaela muses. The raven was excited, saying that he can finally read the novel the doctor was been writing ever since. After that, he offered to make dinner in behalf of Mikaela. "Are you sure you can cook, Yuuichirou?"
"Oo naman!" Yuuichirou pouted. Like the blonde was not belittling his skills. For how months of living together with the Japanese refugee, Mikaela had not even saw the raven cook. Presuming that Yuuichirou is not a good at cooking and he only lives with the doctor's cooked meals or what the villager's gave him when the doctor was out of town. "Ano sa tingin mo?! Hindi mo pa natitikman ang mga luto ko. Baka mapanganga ka nalang kapag nalasahan mo kung gaano kasarap ako magluto. Kaya magpahinga ka muna at ako na ang bahala sa ating hapunan."
He knew that trying to compete with the raven was useless so he just obliged, carrying the novel. Mikaela went towards the dining - starting to read the book. The first chapter, the blonde was already hooked-up with the story. It was a young man naming Crisostomo Ibarra, a young Filipino aristocrat man after finishing his studies in Spain later did he had known the "changes" in his mother country. While he was engaged with the book did he realized that the main character - Crisostomo Ibarra - was a personification of the Filipinas itself and how much the doctor itself is telling the world how cruel Spain is. The story, characters and story is informative but there was one thing that was bothering Mikaela.
"This is madness." He mumbled. Yuuichirou asking what was the matter appearing in front of Mikaela with a steaming pot of something good. Putting the pot into the table, the blonde could see the contents: it was something... watery and soup-related. The color was ranging from orangey to brownish red? yellow? He wasn't sure himself. Floating chunks of potatoes, carrots, and chicken were on it. Doubt beaded on his stomach. Was this even edible to eat? Why is the soup's color orange? Then again... he could never forget how the Filipinos could eat a dish with only greenery vegetables and root crops freshly uprooted into the muddy soils saying it was edible to be eaten.
The blonde raised his eyebrows. "What is your problem?" Asked Yuuichirou. Mikaela eyed the food, hoping that the Japanese knew what he was pointing out. Following his gaze, the raven produced his signature smirk. "Don't tell me you haven't eaten a 'curry' in your entire life?" Mikaela then blushed, his face bearing the perfect color of a tomato. Protesting his accusations saying that this was not his first time seeing such food. "I am just... this is different from what I have eaten in Russia. Especially the color!" pointing the food like it was some of a murderer food. "How is this food even edible?!" He added.
With the last word, the raven laughed. His voice ringing in every corners of the room. Mikaela would be lying to himself if he didn't found his laugh enjoyable. The echoes of his laugh was like a song singing specifically just for him. Just thinking about it had made the blonde even more embarrassed of himself. "Just relax. I promised you that this might be the most 'delicious' food that you have eaten in living." Assuring that there was no way that he'll poison the blonde. "Ho-how can I have your assuarance?"
Yuuichirou pouted and sighed. Grabbing a spoonful of the dish, blowing to make it warm. "Come on, say 'aahh'." The spoon almost near towards his mouth. Smelling the aroma of the dish - he was tempted to give in and do as what the raven ordered him to do but there was a lingering feeling of fear and embarrassment pooling in his mind. A string that's almost on the brink of snapping. If he gave in any further, who knows what Mikaela would do? Slowly, Mikaela opened his mouth, swallowing the dish. Once chewing, a burst of flavour mixed in his tongue: the sweet potatoes, the chewiness of the carrots perfectly blending on the sauce's spiciness and the chicken's taste that makes the dish have a whole level of deliciousness. He could feel the motherly-love in just eating Yuuichirou's dish. Like he has poured his heart and soul in just making it.
A tear formed between his eyes. Mikaela couldn't helped but be awed at the food. Yuuichrou halted, dropping back the spoon to check upon the Russian refugee. "Oi. Mika. Are you alright?" The blonde nodded. Wiping away the tear in his eyes. Apologizing for showing a tearful expression. "I am just..." Said Mikaela, a sorrowful smile plastered on him. "The food is delicious, Yuuichirou."
The raven sighed. Relief plaster on his sun-kissed face. "I told you this was delicious, now, eat up or you might find the curry all gone." He teased and Mikaela chuckled. Helping himself into the food that Yuuichirou had beautifully made. There was another reason as to why the Russian felt like that towards Yuuichirou's cooking.
He remembered the warmth of his mother's, Krul's, cooking. The tenderness and worried look her mother would give if Mikaela is not feeling well. The warmth of her mother's hand when she starts to sing a lullaby for the only prince to lull him to sleep. And especially the smell of pine and lavenders - her mother's perfume that she always remind Mikaela that nature is important and needs to take care of.
Despite running a whole country, Queen Krul never misses a day wherein she and Mikaela would eat together, talk about each other's day. She may, as what the other leaders call her as "the midget queen" for being the smallest leader but there was no doubt on how amazing she is as to how she can rule a nation without batting any second-thoughts. The little queen could fight and defend Russia towards intruders and will not go down without a fight. Mikaela was fascinated about her mother's braveness and wished to be like her but being Krul, he had never forced Mikaela into politics. Rather...she didn't want him to be involved into the affairs of the country and would rather wished for him to do whatever his hearts desires.
When the two had finished eating their dinner, Mikaela offered to wash the dishes again. "Oh don't worry about this. You seem pretty tired, Mika. Just rest. I will do the rest after a few minutes." The blonde didn't argue and went towards his room along with the book the doctor gave him. Inside, he plunged himself into the soft cushions of the pillows and mattress, opening the novel from where he stopped and continued reading until he could feel the drowsiness overpower him.
Morning came, the blonde woke with a loud bang! slam! And clack! In his surroundings. He got up quickly and went in the hallway to see what was the commotion was about. Apparently, Yuuichirou got into him first to the scene and he could have sworn that his hair - untamable with the way his strands poking in different directions. Even his upper shirt was loosely hanging and Mikaela could see the rich skin of the Japanese's chest - stop looking Mikaela! "What is going on?" He asked as he wiped any remains of the sand in his eyes. Yuuichirou greeted the blonde a good morning, not moving his eyes away from the window. Curious, Mikaela then did to have a look whatever was going on.
He wished he didn't let his curiosity get to him. The images embedded into his eyes were...inhuman. A group of Filipino people tied up together, forming a line as they walked. Their clothes discolored and torn apart revealing their swollen and reddened skin. Blood was even visible from the visage of their clothes. Among them were three to five guardia civils holding on what Mikaela assumes to be a whip. He could hear the cries and pain of the Filipinos begging for the guards to stop their whippings. Even women and children were present but being the cruel officers, they kicked the people away from them like they have some of kind of an infectious disease, slashing and whipping the Filipinos away ordering them to continue walking.
The blonde backed away - how could someone - or better yet, how could the Filipinos can stomach this torture and mistreatments towards them by the Spaniards? This was the first time that Mikaela saw something like this in his life. Even in Russia, they do not used this kind of torture towards a criminal. Even if they did, they would never publicize it wherein everyone can see. What's even worse was that women and children are also being punished. He clenched his fist, he wanted to do something. The Filipinos... Mikaela would never question how kind and hospitable the people living around here. Just being a foreigner, they accepted Mikaela and treated him equally as a normal person.
"They were punished by Spain because they cannot pay their taxes. If you cannot comply with Spain, death awaits you." Yuuichirou spoke, folding his hands. His expression was blank. "But this is unfair!" The blonde shouted. "The Filipinos here aren't even rich or came from an aristocratic family. All they do is farming, being a servant to the Spanish family living here and being treated like dirt! How could they even pay for the taxes if it's more expensive from what they earn for a living?!" The blonde was furious. He may not be a prince but he knew the rules and how to run a country, thanks to his mother.
When Yuuichirou turned to look at Mikaela, his eyes showed bloodlust, anger and revenge. The way he was clenching his fist - is as if he was going to war. "This is the true lifestyle of the Filipinos, Mikaela. Power, government, agriculture, etc. The Spain rules them all." The raven told the blonde to drop the subject and decided to head to the kitchen and start their day but Mikaela...just because Yuuichirou told him to stop does not mean that he will. He won't.
His mother, Krul have told him about the nature of other countries. But seeing it right before his very own eyes. The exiled prince could not stomach how gruesome can one Powerhouse country can slave a tiny nation, treating them as livestocks and an entertainment of their own countrymen residing in it. He had remembered the scene in the novel about where Padre Damaso had belittled young Ibarra in front of his beloved person, Maria Clara about the death of his poor indio, father. Later did he realized something as to why would the doctor is crossing the world in order for him to have his novel be published? How much the doctor is spending all of his riches to go back and forth to other countries and would rather be printed in a foreign land than his own.
"Is this the reason?" Mikaela asked. The raven stopped walking, listening as to what would the Russian has to say. "Is this the reason as to why is the doctor is writing this novel?" There was no response and Yuuichirou continued himself from walking. He didn't need an answer, just from how the Japanese halted, it was already a fact that the doctor is trying to tell the world how unjustifiable the governance of the Spaniards.
The doctor is fighting the Filipinas's freedom.
With the use of literature and writing.
Their arranged schedule featuring Yuuichirou with his teaching duties towards the poor Filipino children on weekdays while Mikaela would work nonstop on the doctor's house and tend the patient's in the weekends. Their schedules would go on vise-versa. Between the both of them - Yuuichirou's job was more stressful. Mikaela was could only guess since he has never gone out of the house (not unless if he would buy ingredients for food) and been invited by himself whenever he have teaching duties.
For Mikaela this was a peaceful enountance. He could finally have peace and quiet after tending patients in the wee hours of time. But most of all, he was free from any emotions, particularly at Yuuichirou. "Oh heto na po ang inyong gamot, Natividad." Said Mikaela. A woman named Natividad was his last patient of the day. He was having a light cold that Mikaela prescribed a medicine in helping her ease the pain. Even gave him specific time to come back if her cold old worsens.
Thanking the doctor's apprentice, he gave him a small token of appreciation - a necklace made of pearls and corals from the ocean. "Naku, nag-abala pa kayo. Hindi ko po matatanggap ito."
"Sige na tanggapin mo na ito, hijo." Natividad insisted, pushing the ornament into the palm of the Russian. "Alam mo ba na kapag humiling ka dito sa kwintas na ito ay magkakatotoo ang minimithi mo? Sige na, Mikaela hijo. Magiging panatag ako kapag tinanggap mo ang aking munting regalo." Mikaela then gave the necklace another ounce-over. It was very well-made, that much he can tell. The colors of the shells were sparkling. Some even have a small trace of the ocean sand stuck into the deepest corners of the shells. What most attracted Mikaela was the seashell in the center - an emerald colored pearl. It reminded him of the Japanese's eyes. Yuuichirou's gem-like orbs. At the thought of the said apprentice, the blonde flustered - earning a crimson colored face.
Taking the accessory with shaking hands. "Maraming salamat, Ginang Natividad." And the woman nodded, taking her leave.
Still holding the ornament, he decided to put it somewhere. He needed to clean up the house. Who knows when the owner will come back? He indicated soon, Mikaela concluded. He decided to start scrubbing and sweeping the whole house. Plus it was almost time for lunch. "Has Yuuichirou already done eating lunch?" He paused, shaking his head. Didn't understand as to why is he asking himself that question. He is already an adult and can take care of himself. There is no need to bother myself about him. Yet somewhere deep inside, he wanted to know.
"Stop thinking about his well-being, Mikaela." Saying to himself. Letting his mind off from the Yuuichirou, Mikaela busied himself in scrubbing the wooden floors. Making sure there's not a speck of dust visible. Wiping the empty vials in the cupboard, washing the the medical instruments of the doctor then keeping it in the medical room. After a few hours, when he was done - proud of what the outcome of his skills. The entire house was spotless! That much was Mikaela was so proud of himself.
Sometimes, Mikaela would laugh. A prince... now doing mundane chores and could not afford any luxurious foods he had once eaten from Russia. Will never wear aristocratic clothing and no servants to do his bidding.
But being Mikaela, he never did blame God for whatever has happened. He was taught that everything happens for a reason. That's what would his mother always tell him. With her gone, Mikaela did...once...blame and question as to why is he being punished. He knew his mother's way of ruling the country needed sacrifices in order to achieve freedom. Was this the payment? Is this what karma does? He didn't know.
And now being sent to a foreign country, without his title or fortune and having this... infatuation with another male.
He wanted it to stop. Sometimes wishing that he would just die.
But he cannot. No matter how much he desires, the face of Amane Yuuichirou would always popped into his mind. His ethereal voice, his beautiful emerald eyes, those sun-kissed skin, and that chapped yet cracked lips.
"Tao po~" taking him back from reality, a voice of a child distracted him. Outside the entrance, there was a young boy standing. His clothes smudge with dirt and sweat. "Magandang tanghali, bata. Ako si Mikaela, ano ang maipaglilingkod ko sa iyo?" He says, kneeling down to have eye contact with the young boy. He was surprised, amazed at what Mikaela's feature. "Ginoo! Napakaganda naman po kulay ng inyong buhok. Parang sinag ng araw." The child replied, reaching to the blonde locks of the foreigner's hair. The child was enjoying the warmth and fluffiness of Mikaela's hair and didn't want to be rude.
He chuckled, "May kailangan ka ba? Magpapatingin ka ba kung may karamdaman kang iniinda?" The child shook his head. Saying that he was only here because he was asked by an errand by Yuuichirou. "Sabi po ni Ginoong Yuucihirou kung maari daw po ay ipagdalhan niyo po siya ng tanghalian. Nakalimutan niya po kasing maghanda at magluto." He raised an eyebrow. Really? Yuuichirou, of all people would have forgotten to make his own food. "At bakit niya naman nasabi na susunod ako sa kanyang kagustuhan?"
"Dahil daw kasi siya ay inyong ahhh... ano nga ba yong salita na yun... ahhh! matalik na kaibigan" At those words, Mikaela was even more annoyed. How dare he send a child and tell him complicated words to them in order to follow his will. "That insolent bastard..." He muttered.
The child's eyes grew wide. As if that he had understood the word. "Ginoong Mikaela, masama po ang magmura." The blonde blushed bowing his head out of embarrassment. He apologized to the child and told him to wait for him in the kitchen as he prepares for lunch. Even offered to eat together with him if he wishes. The child (which Mikaela finally knew his name was Diego) grinned happily and gladly accepted the offer of having lunch. Mikaela produced a tie on his pocket, tying his hair in a low ponytail. His thoughts filled on how to confront the Japanese.
I will deal with you later on.
The place wherein Yuuichirou was teaching the children was far-away. Far-away was an understatement. You have to travel 3 rivers, 2 barangays, and a 15-minute walk before they could reached their destination. Mikaela was too tired and exhausted. There is no way he can keep up - moving his legs were already a pain. Diego, on the other hand didn't seem to mind the long travel time. Not even breaking a sweat!
Mikaela was catching his breath, a lot of his energy were already drained just by walking. He was not used in getting in shape with his body. Diego was already 2 meters ahead with the exiled prince. "Bilisan niyo po Ginoo! Malapit na po tayo." Said Diego, he was pointing Mikaela on the small nipa hut house. It may be small in their peripheral but there was no doubt that he could see, even from a 10 meter range those onyx hue of hair. Yuuichirou.
Finally caught his breath, Mikaela decided to walk to catch up with the young child.
The nearer he goes, the more he saw the interior of the said house. It was made of small bamboo shoots. The foundation was a lone single thick wood known as narra. The Filipinas's national tree. A large green chalkboard hung upon the four corners of the kawayan. A crowd of children were sitting in the only long chair. Half of it already on the verge of breaking up while the other half was trying its best to keep and survive. Letting the children a comforting place to relax their bottoms.
What amuses Mikaela more was the expression of the Japanese refugee. He was smiling. Not the normal annoying-smile nor the flirty one, a smile full of joy, happiness and love. Also the laugh that Mikaela had almost forgotten was full of life. He had never seen him in this kind of atmosphere. Yuuichirou was raising his hands. Asking if how many fingers does he has.
"Sampu, Ginoong Yuuichirou."
"Tama pero ano ito sa wikang Espanyol?"
"Ako po! Ako po!"
"Sige Antonio, ano ang sagot?"
"'Dies' po Ginoo."
"Muoy bien, mga bata."
Mikaela's heart soften. The way that Yuuichirou taught the children was outstanding. He was very good with children and they like him. Very much. The blonde had also forgotten as to why, even in a foul mood in the first place. "Ginoo nandito na po ako! Kasama ko po si Ginoong Mikaela." Diego announced. Pushing himself towards his co-children. All eyes towards them. The children gasped at the appearance of the blonde.
"Napakaganda naman ng buhok niya."
"Kasing tingkad ng mga ginto ng mga palamuti na isinusuot ng mga Espanyol."
"Tignan niyo yung mata niya!"
"Kulay bughaw. Kasing bughaw na katulad ng himpapawid."
"Ginoo ang balat ninyo, kasing puti ng mga ulap. Ayos lang po ba kayo?"
A horde of questions came crashing into Mikaela. He was a little...uncomfortable. Being surrounded by a lot of people, especially children. Being the only child, Mika wasn't allowed to go outside. Queen Krul had putted that the prince would be homeschooled that he did not know about friendship.
He was scared. Mikaela did not know what to do. "Oh sige na. Tapos na ang ating klase. Pwede na kayong magsiuwi sa inyong mga tahanan." The children whined, not wanting to yet, especially they had just been visited by someone so beautiful. The Russian was blushing, stuttered even because he was on the verge of either ran away and go back home - no...Scratch that, he will never sacrifice his newly restored energy to travel that far again.
"Ginoong Mikaela bakit po kulay dilaw ang inyong buhok?"
"Ahhh... kasi...ano...ganyan na kasi yung kulay ng buhok ko noong ako ay ipinanganak."
"Napakaganda niyo po. Bakit po 'Mikaela' ang pangalan ninyo?"
"Kasi...iyon ang nais ng aking ina na ipangalan sa akin."
"Ginoong Mikaela, para po kayong isang anghel na bumaba sa langit."
"A-anghel? Nako hindi... Isa lamang akong hamak na mortal na taong katulad ninyo."
"Ngayon lang po namin kayong nakita. Kaano-ano niyo po si Ginoong Yuuichirou? "
"Isa akong sa bagong estudyante ni doktor sa medisina."
"Ohhh! Si doktor."
"Ahhh... mga bata...kasi..."
"Silencio!" Yuuichirou shouted. All attention went to the raven. Even the children trembled at his voice. His aura was almost menacing. He folded his hands and raised his eyebrow. "Didn't I told you guys that you need to go home? Your parents would be worried about you." The raven ushered the children to fall back in line, repeating every sentence he makes. In the end, they were all convinced to go home. Bidding a "Sa susunod ulit, Ginoong Yuuichirou" to the Japanese refugee in unison.
When everyone left, it was just the two of them. Alone. Again, the blonde was a little insecure towards the raven. Said raven heaved a sigh, ruffling his already unmanageable mane. "Sorry about the mess and for bringing my lunch here." He said. The blonde pushed the banana leafed wrapped onto Yuuichirou's stomach. Saying that he didn't really did it because of him. "Plus you owe me a free ride back home." He retorted.
Yuuichirou rolled his eyes, mumbling something that he was expecting something like this to happen. And agreed that the both of them would go home together. The raven invited him to join him to lunch. "Ahh no thank you, Yuuichirou. I have already done mine."
Yuuichirou rolled his eyes taking a bite of his lunch. It was a dish that Mikaela had made for the firt time. A delicacy in his home country. "Oh god, this is delicious. I can eat this every day for the rest of my life." Now this made the ears of the blonde go red.
Having the raven praised his cooking - which especially came from Yuuichirou. Moving his face away from the raven when he noticed a stack of papers with colorful drawings. He guessed that this was all from the children. Must be an activity Yuuichirou asked them to do. Looking at them one by one, Mikaela can't help but to smile. A small token of happiness, their little minds filled with dreams and wishes. "Beautiful is it not? The drawings I meant." Said Yuuichirou.
Mikaela nodded, all of them have bright dreams. It was a shame that these children have been stripped away by their freedom to have education and live a life they wishes. All because of the slavery and the power the Spaniards has towards the Filipino people. The people living in their own country, slaved by another country who uses violence and mistreating like they did not deserve to be living in this world.
It made Mikaela sick in every fiber but there was nothing he could not. He is and will forever be a foreigner in this land and should not meddle with the affairs of the other countries. Deep in thought, the blonde didn't realized a heavy burden onto his right shoulder. An arm was draped around him. It was Yuuichirou's, finally finished with his lunch. "As outsiders of these country. There is nothing we can do to them," the raven said gazing towards the clear sky. Mikaela knew that this kind of atmosphere, he did not come across in Russia due to the fact that it was always covered with blankets of whites - snow.
And now seeing such a clear blue sky, it was indeed breathtaking to see. "We cannot meddle in the affairs of another country." Added Yuuichirou. He has a point, Mika thought. As non-Filipinos, both of them have no power.
"But why does the doctor out so much effort in writing a novel. You said it yourself. Spain is a powerful country no one had dared to question. How can a mere writing frighten them?"
Yuuichirou spoke louder, his voice serious and has that atmosphere to not question it. "I believe in the doctor. If anyone can do it, he can. He is already plotting something sinister that would make Spain wished they were never born."
"Naiintindihan kita, Yuuichirou. I believe in the doctor himself." Mikaela said. True to his words, he decided to drop the subject. It was almost three in the afternoon, he needed to get home. Back to their lovely abode. "I'll take you home since I am already done with class today."
The blonde guffawed. How can they even get back?! If walking was the only option, plus, the kilometers was beyond far. Never again will he endure that heat. "How can we even go back home. This place is way farther than you have imagined!" Tapping his shoes, he will not take another step outside this little shelter. Raising his brows, Mikaela glared daggers at the raven. "Well?" He added. Yuuichirou sighed, telling him to follow him at the back of the nipa hut.
Following Yuuichirou, the two of them went towards the back where a small shed was present filled with hays. A stench of something... disgusting wafting his nose as he pinched it - blocking the smell. Inside was something Mikaela never ever imagined will see.
There was a black horse.
A beautiful black horse accentuating Yuuichirou's raven hair.
And he did not tell him about this creature?
"A horse," Mikaela said. "You have a freaking horse all this time and you did not inform me about this?!" He was fuming with rage, another reason to doubt whatever feelings he is harboring towards him.
"Hey, you didn't asked in the first place," the raven answers defending his end. "Besides... Asuramaru is one of my pride and joy." Asuramaru?!
"You have named your horse. How do you even pronounce its godforsaken name?" Mikaela wanted to know on how he even acquired the black mane. Not even trusting his words, Yuuichirou explained that some happenings - which implied illegal doings. A bastard guardia civil who was supposed to be doing his job, guarding the gates, challenging anyone near the vicinity whoever can make him drop onto his knees. Yuuichirou, being the competitive type of person accepted the challenge. Mikaela didn't want to know every details but one thing's for sure, he won and a horse was his reward.
Yuuichirou caressed the horse's head, whispering complimenting words. Asura, (the blonde decided that he, she whatever its gender was, will call him by that because saying Asuramaru was a mouthful) neighed, slowly standing up to his perfect form. The raven fixed himself, strapping the saddle onto Asura's body and positioning himself onto the horse. When finished and made another caress to Asura, Yuuichirou extended a hand to the blonde.
"Well, come on then." Said Yuuichirou. "There is no way I am riding that monster with you! I did say that you owe me a ride but not like this!" There was just no way would Mikaela ride that creature, not because he has a phobia with horses, more like he has always been an animal-hater.
Animals hate him ever since he was a child, since his memory was clear as glass. He tried (he really did) to befriend any of the animals near the castle but alas, it was either they would hissed, ran away or even scratch and harm with just a mere - inch - proximity of touch. Even asked his queen of a mother as to why do animals hate him but he had gotten nothing.
The next thing he knew, the images were blur that he did not expected the next scenarios and he was finally on Asura. He was perplexed. "Well then, now that my princess has finally come to his senses, let us embark on our journey on our way to our castle." Grinning towards Mikaela, making his face flustered with embarrassment.
"I swear Yuuichirou Amane, if you ever call me 'princess' again, I will make sure to put poison on your food on our way h- Aahhhhh!" Couldn't finish his sentence when Asura started running. Mikaela was could not comprehend, his mind automatically ordered him to snaked his arms onto Yuuichirou's waist, gripping as his dear life depend on it. Leaning his face closer to his back, eyes closed. He felt fear because this was the first time he had ridden such a majesticcreature, let alone not harm him in any ways.
When he calmed down, Mikaela was...amazed. He could practically feel the wind pass through his body, feel the breeze tickling in his earlobes. The sight was even more beautiful, the flat greenery grasses and trees every time they pass through. Forget that the blonde was also hugging the lean back of Yuuichirou, he'll never admit how it was a comforting, feeling like lying on the clouds.
Thump thump thump thump
Here it goes again, thought Mikaela. His heart pumping madly again. There was just no way could that he have feelings for Yuuichirou and yet his mind and body was doing the complete opposite. Does he like Yuuichirou? More than a normal way? Why? Just why? His thoughts clouded with questions Mikaela is not familiar with. He knew the word of being in love but not the point the he, himself will harbor and with the same gender as him as well.
From the books that he have read, there were some like from the Greeks that having an affair and being affectionate with the same gender was something they didn't mind. But these were tell-tale stories, and myths that doesn't have any facts or proofs that it was true. The blonde shed a tear, he wished he could just bury himself onto the depths of the earth and slumber until the end of time and yet he cannot.
"Yuuichirou," Says Mikaela. "Have you ever been in love with someone?" It was a stupid question! His face red as he asked the question. The sounds of Asura's stomping feet can be heard. Before Mikaela repeats the questions, he heard the raven yelled, "Hyaaaahh!" leaping towards a big chunk of stone. Asura the horse leaped so high that Mikaela almost lost his balance and let go, luckily Yuuichirou turned towards the blonde, positioned his hands again onto his torso, even saying to not let go. With wide eyes, he did, hugging him tightly. He was so infuriated of himself. Mikaela Tepes was a logical person. He could understand situations but when it comes to himself, even his functioning mind isn't recuperating about the events occurring to his daily life.
A total mess.
When the hurdle was finally gone, the raven apprentice finally spoke. "Hmmm... Of course I've been in love. But that is something private that should not be shared. If I told who, then it would be a waste. I want that person to say his feelings for me. I know it may sound ridiculous but hey, seeing the doctor with his swooning skills, I may be such a romanticist if only that person is aware to his feelings as well." The blonde didn't understand and just nodded. The pace went slower, as he could finally gaze upon the doctor's home.
I could finally rest, Mikaela says in his mind. A few minutes, they were already in the staircase, Yuuichirou got off to Asura to help the blonde get down. Mikaela grabbed his hands when all of a sudden, two hands encircled his waist, Yuuichirou carrying him. thump thump thump thump. His face closed to the raven, just a mere closer he could taste his lips. His heartbeat beating faster, his cheeks getting redder. His entire being enraptured by Yuuichirou's emeralds.
"Mika." He says, leaning closer to him. The way Yuuichirou says his name, a jolt of electricity came into him. No no no no no! Stop! Don't do this! He wants to taste his lips, feel Yuuichirou's scent, wants to bury his pale hands onto his onyx locks.
Mikaela did the one thing he regretted in his life. He leaned closer, crashing his lips onto the Japanese refugee. Hands cupping his face. A small fire lit onto his body, he didn't know why he was doing this but the feeling the raven's mouth was intoxicating, and he wanted to drown himself.
Mikaela was kissing Yuuichirou.
He was kissing another man.
He jolted pushing him back. He was scared, didn't know what got into him. Tears flowing in his eyes. "Mika?"
"I...I...I'm sorry!" Running towards the stairs, pushing himself inside the house and into his room. Burrying himself deep into the cushions of the soft pillows. His tears won't stop flowing in his eyes. Regretting everything he did. Mikaela wiped away the sensation from his lips, the taste of Yuuichirou's sweaty yet minty flavor of a mouth. Remove it! Remove it! Mikaela did but the taste was still there. Touching his lips, he remembered the wonderful feeling of having Yuuichirou's mouth onto him, cheeks flustered at the memory embedded in his mouth.
Knock! "Mika, we need to talk." Knock knock! "Go away!"
Knock! Knock! "Please Mika, let us talk about what happened downstairs. Open this door."
"No! Leave me alone."
"I said leave me alone! Get out! It was a mistake. I do not know what came to me, so please...just... leave me alone." Tears still flowing into his eyes. He was hurt – no – he wasn't physically injured but emotionally... he was embarrassed at himself. Mikaela didn't really as to how, it just did. How could he do that? By doing that, he had just confirmed whatever affection he has towards the Japanese refugee is real. And not a trick of the mind.
I love Yuuichirou.
I am hopelessly in love with Yuuichirou.
Why? How? Why him?
Why are you punishing me like this?!
Haven't you had enough just from taking my mother away from me?!
What more do you want from me?
Please...I do not...
I do not want him to leave me.
If Yuuichirou leaves me because I have feelings for him...
No... God please...
Make this go away...
I beg you...
Five days have since that incident and still the both of them didn't talk. Both were avoiding contact as possible and did their respective jobs. They eat together but no conservation occurring, not even a 'how was your day?' The blonde did more patient tending while Yuuichirou was busy with household chores, or the next day left early to go to the little school house. Never forgetting to leave Mikaela his portion of breakfast.
Sunday came and Mikaela decided to visit the church to hear the friar in his sermon. Another purpose was to repent and seek for the Lord some guidance. There wasn't much patients at this kind of the day so he decided to have himself a rest from work. The nearest church wasn't a long ride to the doctor's house and he wanted to have some guidance about what to do.
Right on time, the mass has just started, Mikaela entered the holy place, blessed himself with sacred water into the basin. People – Filipinos and Spanish present though the Filipinos have their own place they belong or where to put themselves into but nevertheless, you can see that feuds were set aside putting all their faith into the Creator. Prayers of Ava Ginoong Maria, Ama Namin, Cordero and other prayers Mikaela isn't familiar with listened to them regardless. Once it was done, the friar started reading a passage or verse in the holy bible context.
"And the Lord himself upon creating Eve and Adam, he had taught the people to create more love one another, never sin like what Eve had done causing him to punish her. Exiling her into the Garden of Eden." Once done, the singers - chorale - sang another song before the friar went towards the pedestal to his own interpretation about the said passage.
"Alam niyo naman siguro kung ano ang nais ipahiwatig ng berso na iminungkahi ko kanina lang. Ang Panginoon ay gumawa ng babae at lalaki. Tanging sila lang ang may kakayahan na magsilang ng isang sanggol." He said, the words he left his mouth was some kind of a disease that wanted to release out of his system. He added about the culture of the Greek people that having an affair with the same gender was a mortal sin. When the blonde had heard that, he stiffened. He was bothered because that, was, he was having right now.
The friar slammed his fists onto the pedestal. His face contorted, eyebrows creased together. "Whoever Gods they are worshipping is exactly a disgrace! Is not worth of being respected by anyone?
If you have this kinds of feeling then I suggest you get out of town. Leave Filipinas before the guardia civils would come looking for you by having disgusting infatuations. I will see to it that the governadorcillos would be informed about this decree!
I will show no mercy for this. Mark my words." The Russian willingly removed himself out of the holy place. He knew if he continued, he'll be more disappointed and loathe about the current events happening in his life. Tears came running while traveling his way back to the doctor's home. Mikaela pitied the life he had right. He didn't deserved this, much more about suffering by himself in a foreign country. If throwing one's emotions was easy, he would've done it already.
While walking, he was thinking about Yuuichirou. Oh god, he cursed himself. Why now?! His frustrations were piling up in his mind and yet the one person – the last person he wished not to think about was already showing in his mind. Mikaela screamed on top of his lungs how Yuuichirou is making his life and his emotions run amok. How whenever the Japanese refugee is near, his heart won't stop beating like crazy, how his presence makes his knees go weak and could not think straight at all.
A few minutes have passed and Mikaela finally reached the doctor's house. The voice of the Spanish friar was still embedded inside the blonde's head. Couldn't think straight, didn't he realized that he slammed himself into the wooden door connecting it to the face. A loud thud can be heard then the voice of Yuuichirou shouted, "Sino ka?!" When Mikaela didn't replied, footsteps came running towards him seeing Yuuichirou in that rolled-up sleeves of his dirty-white tunic, Mikaela can't help but feel scared.
Scared about the fact that his heart was beating so fast when he saw the Japanese man.
When Yuuichirou saw the befallen blonde, he knelt, reaching out in tending Mikaela. Said blonde slapped the tan male's hand away from him. Saying that he didn't need any help and definitely he didn't want Yuuichirou to help him. At all. "Mika what the hell?!" the raven retorted. His hand grabbed Mikaela's waist pulling him closer to the raven teacher. No! Yuuichirou stop this! Stop!
"Mika what is going on with you?!" The raven asked. The blonde could not face the Japanese. Not like this. He thought. Not like this! He trembled with fear. Mikaela was losing his mind.
"Hahaha!" the Russian refugee did a hysterical laugh, his voice echoing throughout the entire home. He was like a maniacal young man who has just discovered something horrendous about someone. "What's wrong? You asked me what is wrong?!" Mikaela lunged himself towards the raven. His hand fisting the collar of Yuuichirou's shirt. His eyes fuming with lust and guilt. The sexual frustrations he gets just from seeing the raven.
The raven, Yuuichirou looked eyes with the blonde. His emerald orb swarming reflected in his sapphire eyes. "The problem…." His mouth leaning closer to Yuuichirou's. "Is you."
At the sound of his name, the raven blinked. Confused as to how is this his fault. Asking for an explanation. Mikaela didn't let him. Still pinned down towards the wall. Their mixed sweats because of the heat. Silence ensues the entire room. "I always get annoyed looking at your face. I hate you. You are always making that smile.
That smile of someone who's thinking that living his life is perfect. I hate the fact that whenever I see you, I always get the feeling here in my heart that it is about to explode into a million pieces. Your messy hair getting messier whenever you try to comb it with your fingers, the way you bit your lip whenever you are in a foul mood, your eyebrows creases whenever morning came and you have strange habit of getting up to bed in a god awful time, you do not realized but you always leave your room like it was been visited by a storm. I get so nervous whenever you are in a proximity of closeness towards me like a sick female if his infatuated significant other would notice him."
"Why are you telling this to me–"
"Because I am somehow infatuated with you!" Replied Mikaela making Yuuichirou, shut his mouth up. Finally, the blonde has said it. His vented up feelings – finally released.
"Your face, your smile, your eyes. I love all of them. Whenever the females would speak to you and you laugh and smile at them," holding up his chest, tears pooling into his eye creases. "I always get this feeling like my heart is being constricted into knots. Call me crazy but I want it that I would be the only one you will show that smile of yours." His face flustered with embarrassment as Mikaela says the words in front of the same man he has confusing feelings with. Burying his head onto the raven's chest, he couldn't – scared even to show his face towards Yuuichirou.
Minutes has passed and both of them were still in the same position: the blonde still in a fetal position with Yuuichirou. After that, he could feel the rise and fall of the Japanese young man. "Goddammit…" He said, combing his hair slicking it to one-side style. Chuckling, Mikaela could feel hard hands encircling on his waist.
"Yuuichirou?"Asked the blonde but was been shut up with a mouth enclosed in his lips. The tears of the exiled prince won't stop as he slowly snaked his hands towards the raven's hair and feeling the onyx strands and how soft are those. His eyes widen with shocked as he tasted something inside. Mixed of saliva of him and Yuuichirou, nipping his bottom lip. It was so sensual that Mikaela allowed the raven to explore more of him.
When they pulled away, both of them were catching their breaths. Their cheeks rich in deep red color. Yuuichirou cupped the pale's blonde. Hiding his face away from his hands, Yuuichirou stopped him, "Don't." He ordered. Mikaela halted mid-way and let himself be absorbed by those amazing emerald orbs. The voice of the raven soothe the wrecking beating of his heart. "I want to see your face. Please. Do not look away, Mika." He didn't. Too preoccupied to look away, the blonde couldn't elsewhere.
The raven started to caress the porcelain skin of Mikaela. "You're beautiful. You're too beautiful, Mikaera, my love."
"Shh….." Hushed the raven, putting his index on the tip of Mikaela's lips. "Mika. Now I know what you meant to me. I adore you, I want to be with you forever, would anything to make you happy." Patting the fluffy blonde locks of the other person. Said person was flushed about the confession. He was still not sure if this was a right thing for him to take. Shaking his head, Mika replied. "But Yuuichirou, I am man. You are a man as well. Two men are not supposed to have feelings with each other," The grasped the already creased tunic shirt of Yuuichirou. "What we are doing is wrong. Wrong in the eyes of people. Wrong in the eyes of the Lord. Please just tell that you are not in love with me and I will be contented with that answer just–"
"I have already forgotten about the Lord. Do you not want to forget about what you believe in and let your heart do what it dictates you?"
For a moment, Mikaela was lost at words. He was right. For all of his years, Mikaela always does what's best and is following all the things that he knew that are right. Never questioning, nor asking if what he was doing was right, wrong and justifiable or not. Even his mother, the queen taught him to never question the will of the Lord. But for once, he asked this to himself if he – somehow didn't follow the teachings of the Lord, will he called a sinner? Will his soul be rot in the deepest parts of hell? Will he never get to know salvation? And right now… the actions he was doing, the feelings that he has is now a mortal sin. He was having romantic feelings towards his fellow male.
"No." Mikaela flatly says. Yuuichirou was right, for once… Mikaela wanted to follow what his heart desires. Just this once, he thought. He wanted to know the feeling of having a person – a person beside who will be there for you and will not leave by your side. The blonde looked at the raven again. His eyes full of determination. Yes… He wanted to know this, to feel this what it is to be in love. "Can I kiss you again?" Yuuichirou asked.
He nodded in respond, and their lips meshed again. The taste of cinnamon and curry. He let the raven explore his tongue onto his mouth. As the intimacy gets longer, a new source of heat coming into the lower part of his body. He could feel something hot in between his thighs. Yuuichirou then snaked his arms inside the blonde's shirt, feeling the miniscule of the raven's fingers onto his chest, Mikaela let out a sultry moan. "Ahhh… Yuuichirou!" The raven continued and drawing circles onto the plump chest of Mikaela. "How are you feeling, Mika?"
He huffed as if his lungs has taken out all of his breath away. Mikaela could not think straight. The surge of pleasure coming from Yuuichirou's hand was occupying his mind – his entire being going numb. "W-weird… My temperature is getting hotter whenever you touch my chest. W-what is this sensation? This feels weird, Yuuichirou. Take it off!" He protested, pushing the hands of the raven away from his body. Yuuichirou didn't and continued to explore his body. He then grabbed the shirt of Mikaela's, pushing it upwards.
When the clothing was finally off, Mikaela was embarrassed at himself. One is that he was half clothed in front of another person. Two, it was in front of Yuuichirou, which was even more embarrassing. The blonde covered his bared chest, his face in deep red. The raven smiled, moving closer towards the exiled prince, pushing his hands out of the way. "You're really beautiful Mika. Inside and out." He grabbed the other hand of Mikaela, kissing the back of its palm. "May I?" Mikaela nodded and soon he felt Yuuichirou's lips again on his bare chest. "Ahhhh! Yuuichirou…"
What is this feeling? Why am I getting hot all of a sudden? His breath all of a sudden – were making lewd sounds. His temperature rising as he felt the fingers of Yuuichirou slowly going down towards his abdomen ––
"Mikaela? Yuuichirou? What is going here?"