Chapter 6- Revelation
*****Severus, Day 7*****
Harry arrived at seven thirty the next morning. Severus had instructed him to arrive any time after eight, not wanting to rouse the boy too early when the child clearly didn't get enough sleep. But it had been enough time that the potion would be accurate without further delay. There wasn't anything to distract either of them that morning from the reality of what they had been doing. Severus nodded at the boy in greeting and turned to their potion. Severus filled a phial with the potion base that he had spent a week making in Harry's company. The boy had become just 'Harry' in Severus's mind sometime in that week, though perhaps not fully until the child walked into the classroom that morning. He held the phial out towards Harry in one hand with a knife in the other, "Just a drop is enough," he said, his voice suddenly horse. Severus couldn't even say that he had been speaking too much to the boy because he knew it was nothing compared to his weeks of lecturing. These days many hours were spent in complete silence and solitude when he wasn't around Harry. Too quiet. Severus could tell the boy's hands were shaking and knew what would happen even before the child hissed, finger cut deeper than needed, the boy still placed it over the phial to provide the requisite blood. Severus waved his wand and healed the cut without even thinking about it.
"Thanks," Harry said, the first word the child had spoken that morning.
Severus nodded stiffly, slicing his own finger over the phial to provide the last ingredient. They didn't have to wait for the color to change, giving them the result. The effect was almost instantaneous.
"It's negative..." Severus heard the boy say, straining to process everything around him.
*****Harry/Severus*****
"It's negative," Harry whispered, unable to keep the tears from his eyes. He had cried too much after Sirius died and hadn't thought that he had any tears left to shed. "It's good that I didn't tell anyone- not that I would have if it had been positive. It was a completely insane thought. I don't know what I was thinking. And I know it wouldn't change anything anyway, because you wouldn't want to tell anyone- I mean, I know you couldn't because of the- because of everything, but of course you wouldn't want to anyway-"
Severus held the black phial in his hand. He should be thrilled that it wasn't the red hue that would indicate a paternity match. He couldn't abide by a stronger tie to the boy, couldn't stand to be in the same room with that Potter face. He'd hated the child for the entirety of the boy's life. But was that still true? The boy was crying. The child who had little more than a week ago led five other mere children to face the darkest forces of their time was crying because a man he had hated for five years wasn't his father. Severus tentatively placed a hand on the child's shoulder and had never been more surprised than when Harry Potter turned into his arms and latched on, sobbing into his teaching robes. Frozen for a full ten seconds, Severus slowly brought his arms to rest around the boy, holding him until the child cried himself out several minutes later and squirmed away muttering. Some tears might had slipped from his own eyes as well. The blankness, emptiness was creeping in.
"I'm sorry- I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm sorry, I can leave- I'm sure you don't want-. And I'll bring your book back," the boy said quickly. "At least you won't have to have me in your class next year, because I'm sure I didn't get an "O," and I won't even appeal to Professor McGonagall, I promise…" Harry rambled. Harry.
What the hell was he supposed to do? Severus hadn't prepared for this conversation. He hadn't prepared for any conversation really, but... he had expected, really believed that the damn phial would be red. Why wasn't it red? All of the reasons the boy had stated made sense. They were insane, but plausible. There had been that Halloween night…
WHY WASN'T THE DAMNED POTION RED?
Calm. He needed to be calm. "You will see me in class next term, I am certain. And regardless of any nonsense that came from the mouth of Sybill Trelawney that may or may not come to pass, you'll need training- adequate defense training that you have not learned at Hogwarts from the myriad of incompetents that have taught your class in the past. None of the students at Hogwarts will be prepared for a qualified defense instructor next term." He wasn't even sure how he was forming words when he could barely tear his eyes away from the phial still clutched in his hand. He- wanted to distrust his potions ability- believe that something went wrong in the brewing process, but he knew that no error would mimic a negative result.
The boy was trying to collect himself, "I- I told you they weren't all so bad, Lupin and even if Crouch was well- and what makes you think Dumbledore actually managed to hire someone competent this time, after Umbridge?" Harry asked, looking at his shoes.
Bantering was easier than really thinking when he could barely focus on a conversation, "Yes, a werewolf who nearly killed three students including yourself was the best defense teacher you have had to this date, in firm competition with a lunatic disguised as a different lunatic. He'd have been caught if he were trying to pass himself off as a sane man," Severus knew he was rambling, "For the coming year, however, Professor Dumbledore has granted me the position. He informed me just yesterday in the private meeting I mentioned."
"Are you- no one's lasted in that position for more than a year for- well, is there really a curse on the position?" the boy asked, visibly startled out of his previous distress and onto a new one.
"Quite possibly yes. No one has held the position for more than a year since Tom Riddle was refused the position many years ago. I- am trying to think of this as Albus thinking the students finally need a decent teacher rather than thinking I will be disposable before the end of the year."
"You're not disposable," the child leapt out, embarrassing himself to a further blush, "er- who's going to teach potions?"
An easy, non-personal question there at least, Severus thought. "Albus is going to attempt to lure Horace Slughorn back to the post- he was the teacher before he retired and I acquired his position. In fact, I believe Albus intends to use you as bait of sorts to convince the old man to rejoin the faculty. Sl- Horace had a habit of attempting to draw close to students who he believed would do well in their future and later benefit him, and it does seem unlikely that he would refuse the opportunity to draw closer to the newly reinstated hero, Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived."
Harry was shaking his head vigorously, "I don't want to be that." Yes, Severus did know now that this boy didn't want that fame, particularly at the cost of that particular attention, losing his parents, and now his godfather too.
"Horace is mostly harmless, and he has connections that can be useful to his favorite students. They were called the 'Slug Club,' a term he embraced eventually."
"I don't want…were you part of his club?"
Severus made a noise that was dangerously close to a snort, "Me, a poor, unpopular Slytherin half-blood? I was not exactly an appealing acquisition. Not that he strictly held to blood purity, but rather to those students he thought would amount to something in the wizarding world. Your mother was one though, and she dragged me to one Christmas party in our fourth year," he said more softly. "I might find some pictures somewhere," he offered lightly, throat tight.
"I- that'd be great. But, I mean, you don't have to keep being nice to me. I mean, I'm not a kid- I know you can't be nice to me around other people, not that you'd want to anyway, but it meant a lot that you were nice to me this week and I wanted you to know that. Coming here every day- it gave me something- I don't know- meaningful to do, something that wasn't sitting, staring into nothing and hating myself for killing my godfather," he held up a hand just as Severus was opening his mouth, "Which maybe wasn't totally my fault. But I only know that thanks to you. I wasn't listening to anyone else," the child admitted and looked at him with the biggest eyes. Lily's eyes. Harry's eyes now, and those were pleasant to see even when he wasn't thinking of the child's mother. The boy who he was beginning to think of as his son, though he never would be. How the world had changed…
"You are not the child I thought I knew, Mr. Potter. And- Potter?" he asked, pausing for a moment over the name. It pained him to call the boy as such, but what was he to do- the boy was Harry Potter, "You will not allow yourself to slip. No lurking by high windows, cutting, starving, or harming yourself in any way," he said over the boy's immediate protests. "I'm not saying that you have been, just instructing you not to. You are not the first- distraught teenager I have encountered. You're too thin as well. Eat as much as you can during meals without making yourself sick, and get some sleep. I can have an elf deliver a few phials of dreamless sleep potion, but half portions at most and no more than three nights in a row." It was similar to advice that Poppy Pomfrey had given him when he was about the boy's age and he had lost the friendship of the person who mattered to him most.
The boy nodded, looking nervous again as he looked up, "Professor, if you don't hate me, when- when no one else is around, can you just call me Harry? I- still don't really like being called Potter."
What if the potion had turned red, if the child had been his- he would have then, wouldn't he? Did blood really matter so much? He didn't care for most of his own blood relatives and neither did the boy. Another thing they had in common. Did the child's face really matter that much? "That is- acceptable, Harry. And let Petunia know that I may- that I will be dropping in periodically, to check on the progress of your summer studies. You are to have full access to your books this summer," he said, remembering the boy's comments about sub-par summer work because his books had been locked away.
"You know my aunt?" the boy said, perhaps more startled by this than anything else that day.
"Unfortunately. I doubt she has become significantly more pleasant in the last twenty-odd years. I met her at the same time as your mother, when I was nine years old. I grew up just a few streets away from the Evans house. I may- I am certain that I can find some pictures from those days as well."
"Thank you," Harry whispered, uncomfortable and overwhelmed with eyes wet. Almost before Severus Snape the spy knew what had happened, Harry Potter gave him a brief hug and left the room, cheeks pink and without looking back. Severus stood, staring at the door long after Harry left it. His middle felt a bit less cold than normal where Harry had hugged him. He finally bottled the rest of the cauldron, more out of a feeling to not waste the last week than out of having any plan for its use.
*****Harry*****
"Are you alright, mate?" Ron asked, sounding more concerned than his friend usually was. Hermione looked at him oddly as well. Harry wondered if they had planned this conversation before talking to him. They were giving off the 'we need to talk' air. Harry looked back down at his pudding at the End of Year feast. It really was delicious. Harry had been forcing himself to notice such things as appetizing food lately. He was even having a second portion of pudding. If he didn't- dwell on the good things, he'd slip back out again, to the anger or the numbness.
"Yeah. I think so. Not as bad as I could be anyway. There's some stuff I need to tell you two, stuff Dumbledore told me, but I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it yet."
Hermione nodded a bit too much to be casual, "That's fine, Harry, so long as you know we'll listen to anything at any time. You've been- off a lot lately, away I mean. We haven't seen you as much."
"I'll - ah tell you about that later too. Maybe after the thing with Dumbledore. I don't think I can talk about that one for a bit, but I wasn't off alone, and I do feel better, I guess because of it."
Ron looked confused and curious but nodded along anyway, "Whatever you need, Harry. We're here, you know? Like Hermione said."
"I know. And thanks," he said, forcing himself to smile even if he didn't really feel it. It would be better eventually, Harry was now fairly confident.
The night passed after the feast, packing his few belongings, wondering if he might make a stop to buy new clothes that summer. It was stupid to keep wearing worn clothes that made him unhappy to think about how little his relatives cared about him. Harry slept the night, blessedly free from nightmares thanks to a sip of the potion his- his professor had delivered as promised. The ride away from the castle, by the thestral-drawn carriages and then the train, was not so bad. The thestrals couldn't control any of the bad omens around them, and they didn't do anything to deserve the reputation. They were strong, useful beasts. Harry reminded himself to be glad of every young face who looked right past the beasts, seeing a horseless carriage as Harry had once seen. Even though the world was crumbling around him, most young students had been touched by it yet- surely that was what hope was?
It didn't bother Harry too much when Uncle Vernon was gruff picking him up at King's Cross. It wasn't like Harry expected any different. Some of the Order actually made an appearance to tell the Dursleys that they would be watching and in contact that summer. Harry hoped that some of them would actually come inside the house like Professor Snape had said. Aunt Petunia might have a heart attack if Mad-Eye Moody set foot in her kitchen, or Mundungus Fletcher, or Tonks. And if Professor Snape dropped by himself, like he had said he would (but Harry hadn't quite hoped for yet)- that would be an interesting confrontation to say the least. Harry smiled faintly but genuinely as the car pulled away from the station.
A/N: End of Term! End of Part One. I do have plans to write more, but here is a good resting point with some closure, so updates might take a while to continue. Please leave reviews as I am hoping to be inspired to pick this one back up. I wrote everything up to this point before I started posting anything, and I am very happy with what I have written so far, so I really hope you are too. Until then, I want to focus on Morphed Secrets, my longer Severitus story that is currently in year 2 and will have another chapter posted there within the week.