Turnabout Dick

(note this used to be my fan case but it got taken down for EXCESSIVE SWEARING (bullshit i know) so it will live on through this story but if things are weird it's because this wasn't supposed to be a story)

phoenix wright was in the lobby of the courtroom where he had trials. his friends where there too and they all introduced themselves

"i'm phoenix wright. i'm a lawyer. i'm here in court because dick got arrested for murder" said phoenix wright.

"save me pal" said dick.

"okay" said phoenix.

"i'm maya" said maya.

"me too" said pearl.

"no" said maya with tears in her eyes.

"okay let's start the trial now" said phoenix.

in the courtroom phoenix was very surprised to see that his usual judge was not the judge.

"i'm guy eldoon, i'm the judge" said the new judge, guy eldoon. "i decide if dick is innocent or guilty so you better lawyer good faggots"

"okay" said phoenix and he looked over at the prosecution

but the prosecutor was his normal judge!

"what!" said phoenix

"i'm a prosecutor now" said the judge

"give your opening statement" said guy eldoon

"dick did it" said the judge

"wow that's really convincing" said guy eldoon. "okay call a witness"

"okay" said the judge. "i call my worthless brother"

so the judge's brother took the stand

"OBJECTION" said phoenix wright

"what" said guy eldoon

"he's canadian" said phoenix

"objection sustained" said guy. "testify anyway, maplefucker"

so the judge's maplefucker brother testified

"dick did it" he testified. "this security tape shows that he did it"

the security tape was added to the court record

"shit" said maya "how do we counter that"

"i have no idea" said phoenix. except he did.

phoenix rewound the testimony to when the maplefucker said "this security tape shows that he did it." then he presented the security tape

"OBJECTION" said phoenix. "you said this tape clearly shows dick doing the murder"

"yeah" said the maplefucker

"but it actually shows PEARL doing it!" said phoenix

objection 2007 plays

"oh shit" said the judge's brother

the gallery murmured and oldbag was in the gallery

"OBJECTION" said the judge

"what" said guy eldoon

"i want a recess" said the judge

"why" said guy eldoon

"because i quit" said the judge

"okay" said guy eldoon. "two minute recess to find a new prosecutor"

"did we win nick" said maya

"probably not" said phoenix wright

so there was a recess and it ended.

"so what's the deal did we find a prosecutor or what" said guy eldoon

"i dunno let me check" said phoenix

so he checked

and he was very shocked

because the prosecutor was MIA FEY

"MIA!" said phoenix wright. "YOU'RE DEAD!"

"yeah i know" said mia

"well let's hear the little girl's testimony" said guy eldoon

"OBJECTION!" said mia. "don't make my daughter testify i have a better witness"

"okay" said guy eldoon

"the prosecution calls donald trump to the stand" said mia

phoenix was silent for a moment as he processed this. then he made that shocked face of his

"FUCK" said phoenix as he realized he had lost. meanwhile donald trump took the stand

"hi" said guy eldoon. "please testify."

"okay" said donald trump and he testified

"dick did it" testified trump. "you can trust me, i'm the donald" he continued. "if it wasn't dick, who else could it have been?" he finished.

phoenix was stumped and turned to maya for advice.

"i'm maya" she said

"no shit" he replied

phoenix thought and then he realized what he had to do.

he turned the testimony back to "if it wasn't dick, who else could it have been?" and presented pearl's profile

"OBJECTION!" shouted phoenix. "you said it could only have been dick. BUT IT COULD HAVE ALSO BEEN PEARL!"

objection 2007 plays. the gallery, which still has oldbag, murmured.

"oh shit" said trump. "yeah you're right"

"prosecution, stop stalling" said guy eldoon. "let's hear the little girl's testimony"

"okay" said mia defeatedly. "i call pearl to the stand"

pearl took the stand

"pearl don't let them bully you" said mia. "stay strong i love you"

"okay mom" replied pearl. "i love you too"

so then pearl testified

"maybe i did it" testified pearl. "i'll confess if you tell me who i killed" she finished.

phoenix was speechless.

"shit this is really hard!" he said

"yeah it is" said maya

"i can't remember who she killed!" finished phoenix. but then he remembered. he rewound the testimony to "i'll confess if you tell me who i killed" and presented his attorney's badge.

"OBJECTION!" he shouted. "OBJECTION!" shouted mia. "no" said mia.

phoenix was penalized

"whoops my bad" said phoenix. this time he presented apollo justice's profile.

"OBJECTION!" he shouted "you killed apollo justice!"

objection 2007 plays

"shit" said pearl. "you got me"

"no!" said mia. "don't confess, my baby! i'll get you out of this!"

"it's okay mom" said pearl. "i'm ready to take the punishment for my crimes"

"well i guess that's it" said guy eldoon. "the court finds dick GUILTY!"

...

"just kidding. NOT GUILTY!"

dick takes the stand

"thanks pal" he said

"no prob" said phoenix. then he realized something. "heh dick"

(it worked better as a case but this is still good okay the end look out for the sequel turnabout edgeworth which WILL be a case :))