A/N: Because ya'll have been breathing down my neck to do this, I am writing the various weddings. A wedding per chapter….





To Have and To Hold






Chapter One: Snape-McGonagall







Harry sat in the hardwood pew, waiting impatiently for the ceremony to begin. Ginny sat next to him and Astra sat behind him with Draco beside her. Ron and Hermione were sitting in front of him.

"Geez.. How long does it take for the woman to get ready!" growled Astra from behind him.

"I think I'm gaining cobwebs on me…." said Ron.

Hermione elbowed him. "Both of you! Stop it!" she hissed.

Astra rolled her eyes at Hermione. "Whatever you say, Herm…."

"I just hope that you don't take as long, Granger.." Draco drawled as he stretched in the pew. Hermione shot him a warning look, but he didn't seem to register it. "That's it… Astra, we aren't getting married in a church…. These poo things are horrible!"

"They're pews, Draco, and I agree… oddly enough… These things are horrible!" Astra fidgeted in the pew uncomfortably. "We're getting' hitched outdoors…." She grumbled.

The music suddenly started. Out came the best man, of whom Harry couldn't see very well, and the groom with a few people trailing behind them. When they reached the front, Harry had a closer look at who the best man was.

"Sirius?!" exclaimed Ron just before several people turned around and made the "hush" gesture at him.

"Sirius is the best man!" Ron hissed at Harry.

Harry stared at the best man. Sure enough, it was Sirius Black in the role. He had the largest grin on his face that Harry had ever seen. Harry was beginning to worry what Sirius was thinking.

"What is that guy grinning about?" Astra muttered. "He looks like a serial killer…"

"How ironic…. He was a serial killer…." Harry smirked at Astra and then winked at her. She smiled and shook her head at him.

Again, several people turned around and made an angry "hush" gesture at them. Harry shrank in his seat. Astra growled at them and they turned around quickly.

"Who says you can't talk during a wedding…" smirked Draco.

Then, the bride's music started. Out came Professor McGonagall in a long white gown that hardly showed any skin on her at all. "Oh, she's so pretty!" gasped Hermione, Ginny and Astra in unison.

Harry noticed that she had Professor Lupin on her arm. "Is he giving her away? What happened to her family…." Harry asked.

"Do you KNOW how old she is?" asked Astra incredulously.

"Take it back…" Harry said.

They stopped in front of the priest. "Who gives this woman away?" he asked.

Lupin perked up. "I do…" Then, he handed Snape her arm. Snape hooked his arm through hers and they stood rod stiff in front of the priest. Lupin walked over to Sirius and they started whispering something through almost closed mouths.

"You're right, Harry… what are they planning…" asked Ginny.

Snape shot Sirius and Lupin a warning glare and they gave him a nervous smirk. "It looks as though they got caught though." Said Hermione

"Don't be too sure of that…" Astra yawned. "I wouldn't put much of anything past them.

"Dearly beloved…. We are gathered here to witness the union of these two wonderful people…." The priest announced.

"Suddenly, I have the urge to vomit…" drawled Draco. Then, there was a distinctive grunt from him. Harry guessed that Astra had elbowed him.

The priest kept talking and Harry was beginning to wonder how long this was going to keep going. Then, he had a horrifying thought. He would be the up there in a few months. He would be the one squirming as he stood instead of in a crowd. The thought alone made him shrink into his seat again.

"Sit up, Harry… people are starting to stare…" Ginny whispered to him frantically.

Harry had given in to Mrs. Weasley's prodding and asked Ginny to be his bride. Unfortunately, he didn't know exactly how he was going to stand for that amount of time and not move in the slightest.

After what felt like hours, the priest finally got to the lines Harry was waiting to hear. "Do you, Severus, take Minerva to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, to honor and obey, 'till death do you part?"

Snape twitched suddenly and McGonagall nudged him slightly. "I do…" he said stiffly.

The priest smiled and turned to McGonagall. "Do you, Minerva, take Severus to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, to honor and obey, in sickness and in health, 'tll death do you part?"

"I do…" McGonagall smiled.

Then, the priest turned to the crowd assembled. "If there is someone here that has a reason that these two should not be wed… let him speak now or forever hold your peace…"

There was silence. Suddenly, some man ran in and huffed out. "WAIT!"

Snape nearly fainted. McGonagall looked as though she could incinerate the man with her gaze. The man was tall and thin and he had black hair that fell in his eyes.

He ran up to the altar and took a look at McGonagall. Suddenly, he had a sheepish grin. "Um… opps… Sorry about that! Wrong church I guess!"

Sirius had to hold back McGonagall from clawing the man's throat out. Snape was still too unconscious to even register anything that the man had said. Harry was sure that Snape would actually succeed in killing the man.

Then, the man ran out of the church with a few Snape family members behind him yelling angry curses in his direction. Remus had succeeded in reviving Snape from his own personal "La-la land" and had him standing next to a furious McGonagall.

The priest coughed. Then, he went back to his bible. "If there is anyone here that has reason why these two should not be married, let him speak now or forever hold your peace…"

There was silence. Then, Miss Snape stood up. "Hold it!"

The priest sighed and McGonagall had to hold back Snape. "Hold on, honey.." she said.

Everyone stared at Miss Snape. She held up a fan to her face and laughed her horrible laugh. "Oh ho ho ho! Do you honestly think I was going to stop them from being married!?" There was a long pause. "I need to go to the bathroom… do you all mind waiting a little bit so I can witness the rest?"

"YES!" came a collective cry from the entire church.

Miss Snape glared at them all and sat down without a word. The priest coughed again and began the sentence once more. "If there is anyone here who has reason why these two—"

"I have a package for Mr. Severus Snape.." came another voice from the door.

This time the priest had to be the one to be held back. Remus walked over and took the package and shut the door on the man. Snape opened it and revealed two small black boxes.

"Oh! The rings! I forgot about these!" Snape said.

The priest hit Snape on his head with his bible. "Get back there so we can finish this!" he growled.

After a few moments of the priest dragging Professor Snape back to the altar by his collar, Snape stood next to McGonagall with a faint smile. The priest began again.

"If there is reason for these two to not be wed… let him speak NOW or forever hold his peace." Then, the priest gave everyone a warning glare before smiling and moving on. "Give each other the rings…"

Snape took McGonagall's ring out of its case and put it on her finger. He smiled at her as she took his ring out and put it on his finger. They then turned back to the priest.

"I now pronounce you husband… and wife…" The priest smiled at them. "You may now kiss the bride…."

Snape hesitated and then brought a hand to McGonagall's cheek. He leaned his face closer to hers and then kissed her lips. Harry heard Ginny, next to him, sigh dreamily. Hermione was doing the same in front of him.

"Good God… they're just kissing!" grumbled Astra.

Hermione shot Astra a warning glare. It bounced off of Astra as she glared back with equal fervor. Hermione turned back in her seat. "Honestly!"

Outside, Harry thought he heard the man that had come in earlier running around screaming. "GET AWAY FROM ME! AAARGH!"

At the party, someone clinked their fork on their glass. Harry and Ginny turned to see Sirius standing up with a microphone. This was confirming Harry's worst fears.

The serial killer grin had come back. "First off… I want to congratulate my DEAR friend, Severus, for getting married to such a lovely bird…. Even though she's older than God…"

McGonagall twitched suddenly, and Snape had stiffened suddenly. Harry guessed that he was holding McGonagall to him, though the glare he was fixing Sirius with could've given McGonagall a run for her money.

"I know most of you know that I and my colleague Remus have always been WONderful friends with Snape here… so good in fact that we are going to do a great song number for him and his new bride!"

Sirius motioned for Remus and Remus shook his head fervently. Sirius motioned again and grabbed Remus' wrist. They stood up in front of the table and Sirius gave Remus a microphone.

"Let's get it on!" they sang.

"You know want my body…" Sirius sang.

"Come on and love somebody!" Remus sang.

"Let's have it all!"

"Come on, just one time…" Sirius sang as he shook his rear end and slapped it.

"I want to feel you're mine!" Remus sang and spanked Sirius as Sirius shook his rear at Remus.

"Let's do it aaaallll night!" they sang together.

Harry held his hand over his mouth in shock. He glanced over at Astra and Ron and Astra said in a worried voice. "Those two are going to die!"

Suddenly, Snape vaulted over the table and landed on Sirius. "Watch out, Sirius! He's vicious!" Remus called.

Sirius punched Snape on the nose and Snape was thrown backward. Sirius was laughing so hard that he hardly noticed Snape getting back up, blood coming out of his nose.

Snape punched Sirius on his jaw, snapping his head back and making him fall on Remus. Sirius recovered and punched Snape in the gut. Snape fell backward and McGonagall caught him.

She glared at Remus and Sirius dangerously, holding her wand in her wand. They paled and ran out of the party building. Harry turned to Ginny. "That's it… I'm not inviting either of them to the ceremony…"