The History of the Age of the Three Titans.
by Maester Ludwin.
In my long years both as a simple man, an apprentice and a full fledge maestar to the Starks I have seen many great things, some wonderful, some terrible depending on who you ask.
The most remarkable of all was during the arrival of three most extraordinary individuals to our world.
The had no recollection of how they got here and where just as surprised as we where when they returned to their domain, but their impact on our society was truly astonishing.
I am speaking of course of the three Titans.
They came a few years before Robert's Rebellion and took us by storm, of weirdness but mere mortals can't be choosers.
Some might call if hubris to name them Titans nothing more than braggers tails, but when you saw them being littered with hundreds of arrows, buried under whole mountains, burned by wildfire, run over by mammoths and sustain all manner of blows that would kill regular men a hundred times over and emerge from that with nothing more than a few bruises and sooth on their skin at best you might reconsider your opinion.
The three where as followed:
Lord Ed of House Mono-brow, the Undefeated, his hose words are "Gravy!"
The strongest of the three he was a simple person, a close companion to the Stark's Hodor, he was famed for uprooting whole threes and houses from the soil, tossing them at his foes with the ease a child would a pebble, breaking whole mountain with his head, eating huge amounts of food and being a great chicken farmer and perhaps the only person the Hound liked.
A gentle soul who prefer books, plays and illustrations, he was always friendly with all despite his god like strength and was a favorite of many Lords and considered to this day the very pinnacle of knighthood, not only for his great strength that made whole armies surrender rather than facing him, but for his kindness, as he often treated everyone from the lowliest peasant to the greatest lord with kindness and friendship.
A peerless individual, if you could only ignore the smell
The Second Titan was Lord Double D, the Smart, of House Sockhead, his house word was "Messy, messy, messy"
A maestar of maestars, he was known for creating the majority of wonders that the young of today see as normality.
He could take a simply bottle, steel strips and some magnets and make radios, create flying machines with cardboard and rubber band, build all manner of machines, steam engines, roads with nothing but his wits and tools.
Within a few years his machines turned us from mule drawn wagons and oil lamps, to steam engines and electric light bulbs.
The writings he left behind describe and show how to make even more advance technologies, detailing concepts like electronics, quantum physics, genetic modification.
Despite their clear and simple way of explaining it we still have trouble understanding, let alone applying the knowledge in the books left by him, for no one maestar or even all maestar could hope to match the Great Double D or for that matter understand what he was saying.
The third and final Titan was Lord Eddy, Silver tongue of House Scam, his house words are 'Only 25 cents'
A shrewd negotiator and orator, he was known for tricking lords out of their castles, bankers from their vaults and shopkeepers from their magazines.
The leader of the group, a most loudmouth and temper prone person, yet decent enough to be with, as long as you remembered to never buy what he was selling.
Despite their great talents none ever sought or owned and often refused lands, keeps, castles or daughters from other lords.
They kept their titles, but whenever the subject was brought up the leader lord Eddy always brought up the mythical city of legend that I theorize is what they where supposed to find while they where here.
I do not know or can imagine what wonders it contains, but the land of Snoresville truly must be a land of Gods.
No, these three spent their time traveling the seven kingdoms and beyond, building wonders, fighting enemy armies, solving unsolvable catastrophes and their only desired reward (besides money) was some candy, particularly a great sphere of sugar which they called Jawbreakers.
I never understood why they would treat simple sweets as if they where ambrosias, but considering the ambitions of other men and what their lust and desire often lead too i do not judge them to harshly.
And so they travelled by boat, balloon and a rather peculiar running poses across the land and with their passing things where never the same.
They where weirder than before but never the same.
For although the three where ready for this realm, Westeros, Esos and all of the lands where not ready for Ed, Edd n Eddy