"AAHAHAHAHAVEEE! MARIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAA!" The church choir sung into the long halls of the Haghia Sophia, their sweet voices piercing the hearts of the 10000 attendees. All at least, except for Ramesses. Every Monday the people of Thebes would crowd in to the Haghia Sophia or other assorted nearby churches. Every Monday, all three million people of Thebes would empty their wallets into the donation baskets in the name of their lord, unaware, of course that their hard earned money would be spent on Ramesses' lavish Yacht parties and what not. Of course, as church was the 'event of the day' on Mondays, the attendance of the Pharaoh was mandatory.
The Pharaoh was not a religious man, he was a cynic, a questioner, a curious monkey. He never trusted anyone, or anything. He was also a deceitful man, considering he had managed to trick and empire of twenty-five million into believing that there was a Santa Claus up in the heavens, deciding whether you were naughty, or nice, if you should go up, or down. Nonsense of course, nonsense that would keep an empire which was teetering on the brink of collapse in check, at least temporarily.
By the time the last sad organ note rang out into the building, Ramesses was resting his eyes, dreaming about a world where Mondays (and church) were never created. He abruptly awoke however, at the sound of a triangle ringing into his ears. The long line of Priests and Priestesses, nuns and deacons, walked down the unending cloisters of the magnificent church. At the forefront of the 'holy line', walked a ornately dressed boy, clanging that infernal chime right into the Pharaohs petite ears. The Pharaoh groaned and shot a murderous stare towards the poor little boy.
After the last churchman had walked painfully slowly down the cloisters and on to the sanctuary of the church, the head priest began his sermon. It would undoubtedly be long and pointless. The priest cleared his throat and began to speak "Today, in commemoration of the founding of Thebes and the death of its most beloved man, Prime minister Enwar El Sadat (Egypt had a formal and powerless prime minister) we will sit in introspective silence for the next two hours." The Pharaoh slumped off his extravagant pew and on to the floor. His tiny spectacles slid down to his bulging stomach. The Pharaoh quietly screamed for the following two hours, his head buried in his hands