Hello there. This is my first Fallout-Naruto crossover. Enjoy. Oh wait, I first must go over a few things…

Michael, if you would?

"Fuck off."

Just do it dickweed.

"Fine. I'll do your stupid authors note artard."

Good.

"There will be no bashing of any kind, that's stupid. No civilian council exile bullshit, no overly overpowered characters, no Gary-stus or Mary-sues, no harems, and CERTAINLY no incest. Naruto is going to be REGULAR Naruto. He's going to dress in fucking orange like he always does, have his stupid moments, and overcome his opponents with sheer willpower, Rasen-whatever's (There's like a million variations!) and bajillions of shadow clones. Oh, and kiddies, people are going to die. A lot. Nivlac has no fuckin' mercy when it comes to character death, especially in a series with such a massive cast of characters. Lemme say it one more time. REGULAR NARUTO."

They aren't gold fish idiot.

"No, but the author writing this fic is."

Dick. Anyway, if any of you find any flaws in the story, plot holes, punctuation errors, grammatical errors, etc. Tell me in the reviews, and I'll fix it, or if you want, you could P.M me. Also, if you're with the library of the damned, and this fic is awful, then go ahead, rape my fic if it's bad, I'll read it, laugh, and then get my shit together.

First chapter is short cause it's the prologue.

The Lone Wanderer only felt pain, and looked to his left. The light was an incredibly bright white; so bright that he felt as if his eyes would burn out. Even so, he did not close his eyes, he didn't know where he was, and the confusion that burned in the back of his brain was turning to frustration, as he struggled against metal restraints.

It was cold, really fuckin' cold, he knew that. He felt himself laying on some kind of cold metal object, probably a table, and the skin contact with it made him shiver.

He heard familiar sounds, a language of one of his most hated enemies, and he found himself looking forward.

"Nya nee Na!" He heard one declare, its annoying voice identifying what it was.

When his eyes adjusted to the bright light, he clenched his teeth in fury as he saw himself back in the same situation as a couple of months earlier. Fucking aliens.

Their green skin was the same shade of puke green as it was before, and the sleek white suits that they wore was the same too. Their oddly shaped skulls and large eyes were begging to be met by his fists, but when he tried to break his restraints, he earned a strike on his right thigh from a shock baton by an alien.

The shock rippled through his body, and one insult came to mind.

"Fuck you!" He yelled.

"Yeah fuck you!" He heard another man yell on the table next to him.

Michael turned his head to see another guy on a cross shaped operating table next to him. Tubes were connected to almost every part of his body, and Michael looked down to his own body to see that the tubes were leading into him as well. His eyes widened then he started screaming, which earned him another strike by the baton.

He looked back over to his neighbor and saw that he wore a ripped open green vest with large pockets on the front of it. His pants were a dark shade of blue, and a small bag was situated on his thigh. The sandals that he wore were the same shade of blue as his pants, and on his forehead, he wore a metal headband with a leaf shaped symbol on the front.

His hands were concealed by some kind of odd device. Each one of his fingers were locked into place by a black metal square. The man tried to move his index finger, and the machine shut on the finger, crushing it flat. The man let out a squeal of pain.

The cloth that was attached to the metal part of the headband was black, and was tied to him like a bandanna. Michael looked back down to the tubes and saw that some kind of blue energy was flowing into him from the man, who began to pale. Soon the flow of blue energy stopped, and Michael felt as if he were going to explode.

"Na *Click* Nay nyeanea." Another alien said, inciting a nod from another.

Michael then looked to his right and saw another man wearing sand colored clothing. He was attached to more tubes that also led into Michael. His mind was racing as to what kind of sick experiment the aliens were pulling. The man's clothing had large sand colored ballistic pauldrons on his shoulders, and he wore a head band with a different symbol on it, this one representing an hour glass.

Michael sat and watched as more of the blue energy was drawn out from his fellow prisoner, and into him. Michael's skin was burning, like white hot fire, and his eyes began to bulge. He tried to concentrate on counting his scars, but the pain was overwhelming, it absorbed all of his thoughts, and he felt drool sliding down his cheeks.

Everything that came after was a blur, more people were brought in, connected to the tubes, and their weird blue energy was drained into him, causing Michael more pain. He remembered being dragged into a room and cut open by the aliens. They hooked several blood filled I.V's into him and drained his own blood out of him at the same time. They cut him more, hooked him up to more machines, and his brain felt as if it were melting. More blue energy flowed into him from his fellow prisoners, though it was much less painful than it used to be.

Time ceased to exist as the same process was repeated over and over again. They cut him, drained him, filled him, and repeated the process over and over again. Was this hell? He had no more energy to fight back, the pain had numbed him in his arms and legs. All he could do was grit his teeth in anger.

He remembered being dragged into a cryogenics lab, to be frozen. They would wake him after an unknown amount of time to experiment on him more. This process lasted eternity for him, and no matter how angry he became, he could do nothing more but grit his teeth.

He heard the other victims talking about things, such as enemy shinobi or demons. All of them would reference events in history that had never happened in his world, and one actually tried talking to him at one point. He asked what village he was from, and what… Era? Was that what happened? Was he frozen for so long that everyone he knew was dead?

All the people who tried talking to him seemed to be from different time periods. He wanted to ask them questions as well, but he couldn't muster up the willpower to even speak.

More time passed, he didn't know how much. Michael woke up on the cross shaped table once more, and looked to his right and left to see two men arguing with each other. One of them had jet black hair that stretched over his ears and equally black eyes. Michael could have sworn that for a moment his iris's turned red…

The other man wore ornate plated red armor. It looked like something Toshiro would wear, like the guy just came out of feudal Japan. His hair was short, and his face was round, making him look more approachable than the black haired man.

He caught a few words about their argument. Something about Uchiha this, and Senju that… Michael didn't care, he just wanted the pain to stop…

He just wanted it to stop…

Then their energy flowed into him as well. Something in him felt like it was destroying itself. Then more were brought in, except now the alien bastards connected the tubes to his skull. They didn't even put him to sleep when they did it.

He felt everything.

That was when memories flooded his mind, memories that didn't belong to him. They were all disjointed and foggy, but he could still understand a few of them. Soaring through tree's, throwing kunai, making hand signs, battling the Uchiha, battling the Senju, graduating the academy, and looking at maps.

Those weren't maps of earth.

Michael cried for the first time in months. Or quite possibly years, decades, centuries, he didn't even know anymore. He just wanted to die at this point. Bring fresh water to the wasteland and this is what you get, a lifetime of pain and suffering as an alien fuckin' guinea pig.

One day they just ripped his left eye out, putting it in a jar of liquid, before they ripped out his other eye, presumably doing the same. They froze him again after that, and when he woke up on the table, his eyes were burning, but he could…

See more. He felt his vision go through the walls on the ship into other rooms on board, and he was able to predict every action that the aliens did before they did it. What the fuck did they do to his eyes? Michael looked down to his arms and his breathing grew heavy as he saw that his right hand was crackling with electricity, while his right hand had a ball of fire in it.

The aliens were fascinated by this, and began typing at their little computers in their unintelligible language. Michael paid them no mind, instead looking back down to his hands. Fire and lightning. What the fuck?

It didn't burn or shock him though, and Michael, for the first time in what felt forever, had his willpower back. He concentrated on the fire, trying to control it, and much to his surprise, it worked. The flames turned into a bright white and rose up his arm and burnt off his metal restraint, Michael sat up immediately. He was about to get to work on his other arm, when an alien swung a shock baton at his head.

It was as if the creature was in slow motion, and Michael simply back handed the alien with his flaming hand. It flew into a white steel wall and dented it, the alien sunk to the ground, dead. Michael didn't care at the moment, he would have time to contemplate later. He ripped out the tubes in his body, ceasing the burning pain, and burnt off his other restraint. His breathing was fast, he had to get out of here. He stood up from the table and fell, falling on all fours.

He stood up again, and two more aliens appeared in the doorway that led out of this hell. Batons crackled with electricity as they charged him. Michael threw the two balls of fire and electricity at each of them, burning one to ash, and electrifying the other.

The Lone Wanderer leaned down and coughed some blood up on the surprisingly clean floor. He wiped his mouth of any remaining crimson, and continued out of the operating room. That's when another alien whacked him in the face with a baton. Michael's face contorted with rage as he smashed the alien's skull in with one punch, sending green brain matter everywhere.

Michael flashed a mad toothy grin, he had almost forgotten the thrill of killing. Time to up the body count and get the hell out of here… there was one thing he had to do first though.

Find his armor.

The Third Hokage enjoyed the night sky. Which is why when he was out star gazing after a long day of paper work, and saw one of the stars that was in the sky since before he was born fall out of the sky, he was only slightly panicked.

Slightly being major really.

A few days after that incident, a summit was called between all the Kages. They all had seen its fall, and they were certain that it was no mere comet. Though two comet like object did seem to detach from it as it fell, and all three landed somewhere on the ocean. A team of Jonin from every nation was sent to investigate both the star and its detachment. There was more focus on the larger celestial body though, Hiruzen had sent some of the best of the best.

Except the Jonin which had Genin teams. The people were already spreading rumors about the fallen star, saying that it's the sign of the end of the world. Funny. If it was really a star like he believed his entire life, then the planet would be destroyed. A star was a big hot ball of gas in space, it can't just fall on a planet.

The people do have their superstitions though.

Hopefully this wasn't something that would prove troublesome. Like Naruto. The boy had just gone on his first escort mission, Kakashi would keep him and the bridge builder safe he hoped.

I do hope you liked it, and if you don't leave a review…

I will eat your first born.

"Now work on your familiar of zero crossover fuck face! There are like four hundred people waiting for an update on that shit!"

I AM WORKING ON IT!

Sorry, thank you for reading.