Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way, all credit goes to Katsura Hoshino.

Summary: Forced to leave the Order, Allen comes across a secret hidden in the depths of the Ark. Now, hunted by the Noah Clan and considered an enemy by the place he once called home, he has to search for the truth... The truth about Mana, Neah and himself. Where he came from and who he really is. Uncovering a web of illusions and doubts, Allen still moves forward as he promised to do... But what do you do in a war, when you feel like you don't belong to any side?

"This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a whimper" – The Hollow Man, T. S. Eliot.

Act One – Shattered World

His footsteps made no sound.

The silence devoured everything, even fetuses of things not yet born.

He didn't mind. It was better this way. The whiteness surrounding him gave the impression that any sound, no matter how low, would shatter everything.

And what would be left? Shards. Glass's pieces. Unrecognizable and useless…

Allen Walker had never realized before how… Serene it was, inside the Ark…

Yes, serene… With that absence of… Of what? Sounds, people? Everything and nothing? Like the memory of a dream given some sort of physical shape without losing its nature…

He wouldn't be able to tell, but then again, what did it matter?

He stopped walking for the first time since he had crossed the Ark's portal, leaving behind the Black Order. Unable to focus his mind, he had just been wandering around, not knowing what to do or where to go…

It didn't make any difference, anyway…

He could go anywhere….

And nowhere…

Even with the spreading numbness inside, he understood this. His eyes turned to the sky. Always cloudless, in its eternal blue… It was strange, wasn't it? That there was a sky inside the Ark? Allen had once wondered if it was real or just illusion. It seemed a silly thought now.

Did it make any difference?

Was there any importance in this, or in anything else, at all?

It was enough for that sky to exist. It was enough that all that whiteness existed. It wasn't so bad… It… It was alright if he couldn't resist that numbness. It was alright if he couldn't think of anything else but the simple facts of what had just happened. Perhaps it was okay to just… Let it go.

If he was drowning like he felt he was, at least it was serene…

Somewhere inside, a deep point where despair had not yet reached, the white-haired boy knew he should hurry and leave, but the knowledge wasn't more important than anything else. Just a simple fact. His heartbeat wasn't rushed as one might expect… His legs didn't shiver… His breathing was slow, like that of a sleeping person… Body functions that were beyond control and will, merely carrying on their work as they had done for so many years.

So what if he should leave?

So what if the Order had sent Crows after him?

So what?

His thoughts (if they could be called that) passed by, devoid of substance or colors. Fragments floating, shapeless. He didn't bother trying to control them or to focus his mind. It wasn't so unpleasant, so there was no reason to.

He was exhausted.

Too exhausted to resist… Why not allow himself to be wrapped in the whiteness, to close his eyes and feel nothing but the scent of the flowers in the vases left near windows, doors and stairs?

Was that scent real? The flowers never seemed to need water or actual sunlight… Maybe they were an illusion, a lie. It was okay. He didn't mind. He could let himself drown. He could accept the numbness, give in to its lure of nothing feeling anything, be his own heart or his bones.

As long as it made it all just stop, Allen didn't mind.

After all, why resist something that didn't matter? Especially since it was the only source of comfort at the moment? If real or not, it was there. So it was enough…

It was enough…

Opening his eyes, ignoring any part of himself that still remained intact, and tried to wake the rest of his body and mind up, Allen limited himself to observe the many paths among stairs and buildings, everything. White, white, as snow under the moonlight.

Would it matter is he stayed in the Ark forever? He wouldn't mind it…

He was just so tired…

Something pulled his hair.

A little yellow ball waved a long tail.

Timcampy.

Allen had almost forgotten he was there. The golem had been near him, flying around his head and now it bit and pulled some strands of his hair with its teeth. While Allen looked at him, the golem let go and started to fly from a side to the other, agitating its wings and tail. Trying to tell him they had to hurry up.

"Where to? I… I don't know, Tim." Going back wasn't an option. Going with the Noah wasn't either. And there was also the matter of Apocryphos, or whatever was the name of that creature… Even if he ran away, he would be hunted…

And the Order…

He didn't want to think. Not now…

He started to walk again, merely moving his feet without looking around, listening to ghosts of words said by Komui, so long ago…

"First, I'll say "welcome back" to everyone"

Until he had joined the Order, Allen only traveled with his Master. They roamed the world, destroying akumas when they found them, but never with any specific "mission" or "destination"… Allen had never minded that. Before, he had traveled with Mana… A pierrot and an orphan, going from town to town, living off their street presentations, never worrying about the paths they chose… The "where to go" was simple: Always forward and that was enough and they were together…

During all those years, there had never been any kind of thought regarding "where go back to" or even "to who"… And it had not mattered, they didn't miss it, they were mere travelers… They had a home with each other.

"Then I'll wrap my arms around Lenalee and hug her as tight as I can!"

Even when his master had "ran off", leaving him to find his way alone, it hadn't been like now… And back then, the Order was only a "destination", a "place" like many others. He had to go there in order to officially become an Exorcist…

No more and no less…

But now…

"As for Allen, well, I'll just have to make sure there is a ton of food for you"

It was different, now…

Being part of the Order, living there… Slowly, day by day, it had become natural and everything else had remained in a pale past… His mind no longer associated the Order with a mere "place", a mere "Exorcists' Headquarters" and, for the first time, Allen had learned what it meant to have a "place to go back to".

To have a place where people waited for you…

A home.

"Right about then, I daresay Lavi will just end up falling asleep. I'll make sure there's a blanket for him"

Heh… He had been surprised when Lenalee had told him about the individual rooms, hadn't he? He had never had a room, one that was actually his…

When they came back, no matter where from, didn't people always say "Okaerinasai" ("welcome home") and were answered with "Tadaima" ("I'm back")? A mere exchange of words, but that carried so much more inside and made you feel warm?

"And the older ones will want to have some wine and make a toast… We'll all throw a huge party"

It was where he belonged.

The place where he "wanted to go back to"…

It was his home…

"It'll be great"

But now…

He had nowhere to go.

He had nowhere to go back.

He had… Nothing.

"I'm alone…"

He looked at his hands, without feeling them… The left to the akumas, the right to the humans… It was what he had decided, but what about him? Which side did he belong to?

"This cruel memory of Noah and Innocence. You carry two monsters inside of you." It had been what Tyki had told him moments ago. Allen hadn't been able to answer that, because it was the truth.

And did what that make of him?

Suddenly, his nails went against his forehead, digging flesh and hiding his face as if ashamed of his existence, that he no longer was able to comprehend. The nerves not yet taken by the numbness shivered, dissected by sensations. Maggots under the skin.

"I'm alone…"

An inarticulated sound escaped from his throat and the echo ran through the streets and among buildings as if in search of another sound, any sound… Allen also looked around, at the walks, the light brown floor and the stairs, the flowers, yellow and pink with green leaves… And that sky.

How he would have liked to just sit there and stay… Be wrapped by the mist and…

From the corner of his mind where rationality was still possible (or maybe it was just survival instinct), was born a thought in which still remained roots of some lucidity.

"Keep walking." The memory of Mana seemed to whisper.

"I decided to keep walking no matter what happens…"

If he gave in and sat down, even for a second, he would no longer be able to stand.

Timcampy landed in his shoulder, rubbing his wings against his face.

He could only go forward.

But the question remained… Where to?

If he didn't have anywhere to go and nothing mattered, then any place should be good enough… He had nothing with him besides Tim, but he supposed he would have to worry about that later…

"And the Order will be chasing you…" Unable to hide from the thought, Allen was forced to accept it. Yes, but maybe he could hide his trail… Tim wasn't like the other golems, he had no tracker in him… And he… After opening a new portal with the Ark and close it, the Order wouldn't be able to determine the localization he had chosen… He could also open a few random ones at the same time, just in case… It was worth a try…

The nature of what he was doing ripped his nerves and blood. It ripped him.

That was an escape plan.

Not from Apocryphos or the Noah…

An escape plan from the Order…

The Order where he had lived, where Lenalee and Komui and all the others were… His family… The people he loved… If there was one thing that wouldn't ever change was what he had just told Lenalee: He would always be an Exorcist.

The Order was his home!

Was he really running away from his home?

His body shivered with something new. It took Allen a moment to realize it was a laugh. It… It was impossible, right? A paradox that, by itself, couldn't have a place in reality… He was part of the Order and yet…

It was all so senseless… That it was almost funny.

"From now on, Allen Walker shall be classified as a Noah"

The memory came as if he was unconsciously trying to find a justification, an explanation, anything to give support to what was happening, to give sense back to the world. This only served as another crack, another way for blood to flow.

One more crack among ruins.

Why?

Why?

"Damn it" The young man muttered to himself. "Damn it…"

The sound of his voice disturbed him and he became quiet. It was better to not bother the silence, hungry for words.

Aware enough now, Allen tried to rid himself of those thoughts and change his attention to his next steps. Still, the essence remained in his system, between the grooves of his brain, a poison only waiting for the new opportunity to present itself.

He could follow this idea, open some portals and use any of them. After that… Well, he would have to think about what to do next… Maybe he could…

He stopped abruptly.

He had been just wandering aimlessly, a part of his soul still stirring in the misty cocoon that caged him inside himself, but now, Allen blinked, having noticed something strange, strange enough to make things stop in a different way than before…

During the last months, with the Ark in its possession, the Order had not only started to use it as a means of transportation but also conducted several kinds of studies and tests. Much of it still remained a mystery, some areas remained unexplored, a few doors opened to apparently empty rooms while many more remained sealed. Most were alike in appearance, bearing almost no difference from one to the other…

Allen saw one of the few that wasn't.

It stood between two pillars, at the end of a small stair and under the shade of a path above, almost as if hidden.

In his lethargic state, Allen wouldn't have cared for the door at all if its details weren't enough to provoke curiosity in him. He had never seen it before (which, in itself, wasn't that surprising) and came closer, under the impression that there was something weird about it. Its blackness was a smear of ink, tainting the pristine white around. At its sides, two lines of silver went up, forming a spiral each. At the top, a circle with a few lines converging to the center where white lines shaped a flower turned down, almost resembling a bell. He saw the inferior corners also boasted a flower each, though they looked different.

What called his attention was the center of the door where two circles held strange silver markings between each. Runes? He thought so and narrowed his eyes… Whether it was a trick of the eyes or not, at times it seemed that something was running along with the circles, as if the paint (or whatever they had been made with) was alive, moving like a lazy line of liquid.

He wasn't that surprised to see a pentagram at the center of the inner circle. But what did it all meant?

Tim flew around his head with clear agitation.

Without giving much thought about the whim, merely accepting it along with the inquisitiveness that moved it, Allen touched the silver doorknob, feeling the crafts shaped as leaves under his hand.

It moved with a soft "click".

Allen frowned. Actually, he couldn't say he had expected the door to really open.

He hesitated. What was he doing? It wasn't the time to start exploring and just opening a door inside the Ark that had once belonged to the Noah, a place whose workings were still unknown, without any backup, well, it didn't seem like a good idea. Let alone a door that was branded with a pentagram, the symbol so easily associated with the Earl and the Noah family.

Apparently, Tim didn't share his worries. He just flew inside.

Allen followed, entering a medium-sized room, drowned in darkness. Though it had been closed for probably a long time, it was impregnated with a strange and soft scent. Something light and with a touch of wilderness. It invoked the image of flowers offered to forgotten tombs under the moon.

The only source of illumination came from an image on the floor, casting light to something being held above it…

"What the…"

Allen blinked. What he saw was enough to clear his mind a little more.

There was a person, suspended by chains, in the middle of the room.

Taking careful steps, the boy approached the body in silence.

The figure of the floor was of two crescent moons with their backs to each other, holding two circles, one inside the other like the image on the door, with more ancient runes between them and again, a pentacle in the middle, this time accompanied by other symbols Allen didn't know. But it was easy to guess it served more purposes than mere decoration.

The whole thing emitted a strange white-lilac light and this time, there was no mistake. Something flowed along the lines of the drawing while the light reflected itself on the chains holding the body above its center. Approaching, Allen tried to see the person's face, ready to back away should he or she be feigning unconsciousness or gave any sign of danger.

"Hello?" There was no answer.

It was a girl. Head inclined, almost the position of someone who had just fallen asleep, hair falling in front of her. Allen leaned to her, trying to see the face hidden by strands of hair, wondering if she…

He stiffened so fast that one almost could hear his back's bones crackling as his heart jumped and went out of rhythm.

Upon her forehead, there were black marks.

That girl… Was a Noah?

That didn't make any sense.

Any.

His mind at once ran through everything he knew of the Noahs. Throughout the ages, there were only thirteen and the strange "Fourteenth" (who had gained such a title exactly for being a numeric anomaly), the one that had betrayed them thirty-five years ago. True, Allen didn't know all of them or even if they had all "woken" up already, but in a way or another, finding one in this state seemed far too illogical: It didn't look like something the Millennium Earl would do to one of his own.

He didn't think anyone of the Clan would do that.

He stopped any thought regarding the Fourteenth.

Instead, he looked at the girl, involved in chains and looking like a rejected toy…

Allen knew far better than to judge by appearances, but right now she seemed harmless (a sneer trembled inside him. Oh, yes, she seemed as harmless as Road had the first time he had seen her as she asked for tickets for the play or Tyki when they had played poker). Maybe it had been a trick of the weak light and his tired mind…

With how the light created a wave of lilac, he couldn't even be sure that her skin was grey as typical of the Noah…

Warily, not touching her skin, he slowly pulled away some of the strands that covered her face.

Black stigmas laid there as scars.

No doubt.

Why there was a Noah in here? And chained?

"But what now?" Walking around her, trying to study the situation regardless of how weariness weighted his mind, Allen evaluated his options and the possible consequences as he stared at her. She remained unresponsive. Her hair fell almost to her waist in uneven ends, as if someone had tried to cut it with a shard of glass, making a line of "V"s. Her feet were naked, held more or less thirty centimeters above the ground.

Well, the choices were, in the end, only two: Leave and pretend he hadn't seen anything or release her and… Take her along, he supposed. His throat went dry. Should the circumstances be different, he would have told the Order and he knew that... And he couldn't avoid the claws that grasped his heart with that thought.

But with things as they were… Neither option was particularly appealing.

To just turn back and leave her there seemed, at the very least, wrong and even cruel…

However, to release a Noah, one that he had never seen before and whose reaction and personality he couldn't guess, was far from a sensible idea. At least he knew some of the others enough to consider what they might do and prepare himself. Jasdevi, for example, would likely try to attack and he might've attempted a conversation with someone like Tyki or Road and, as such, avoid a fight that, right now, he had no strength to engage in.

"And she might be locked up for a good reason…" One might consider that if the Earl had really been the one to left her there, then perhaps he could release her. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that, but Allen knew how weak this theory was. In a sense, this could actually be taken as a reason to not interfere.

He looked at how she was kept in place. While normally the chains would end up in shackles around the wrists, hers wrapped themselves around her arms, in the manner of snakes and ended in what resembled shoulder plates, the other extremities stuck to the opposite walls. It was the same with the two chains involving her waist.

Maybe one day they had been silver, but now the metal (if that was what it was) had faded almost to black. What Allen at first had thought to be the light reflecting in the links, at closer inspection, looked to be actually something flowing inside of them. No doubt it was an effect of the shadows creating the impression that, whatever it was, it was going inside her body. It had to be it.

"If the Order finds her, they will kill her on the spot. Without hesitation…"

The thought bothered him…

It also bothered him to think for how long she had been left in here… Once again, she looked like a rejected toy, despite the chains. Something that was no longer wanted or useful.

Left alone to rot.

"This Ark was almost destroyed once…" He had no way to know if, during the download, the Earl had planned to transfer this room and its occupant to the new Ark, but did it matter? If he had, she would have remained in here until… Until when? And if this room wasn't going to be transferred, then she would have died.

He stood in front of her again.

"I'll regret that…" It was the last time he used the Ark, this he had already decided. Regardless of anything else, regardless of the circumstances, to walk away now meant consciously abandoning that girl to either forsakenness or death. He lifted his left hand. To regret helping someone was better than to regret not doing so.

He struck one of the chains with his claws, expecting to feel metallic resistance and meeting a silk-like touch in place. The links shattered as though they had no real substance. The Noah's arm hanged at her side and the remains of the chain that still were around her flesh slipped and fell with a sound of crystals. The shoulder piece fell as well, with the same sound.

Allen repeated the process. Once freed, the body hit the floor, hair spreading over it as a pool of dark ink, light shining among some strands.

She didn't move.

"Could it be that she is dead?" Still careful, Allen slid his fingers to her neck, unsure… No, there was a pulse. Weak, but it was there.

He couldn't afford to lose more time.

He hesitated for a moment, but ended up arranging the girl on his back and carried her out the room. Closing his eyes, Allen sighed and concentrated the power that moved the Ark.

"The power of the Fourteenth…"

"Oh, shut up!"

The doors around came alive with their own glow and, deep in his gut, Allen chose the destinations they should connect with, concentrating in areas that still had no portals created by the Order, not wanting to take any risk.

Regarding his "destination"…

He had nowhere to go…

So any place was good enough, right?

XxX

Lenalee heard the people speaking to her, but didn't bother to listen… The little that her mind processed held no meaning either, words heard from underwater…

"I love the Order and all the people here… I'll always be an Exorcist…"

Those had been the last words Allen had said… They echoed in her skull, repeating in a never-ending cycle that she was unable to stop or to drown with other thoughts. Nothing of what had happened just now felt real, just a mess of events with no connection. A nightmare.

Except there was no waking up, no matter how much she pled.

She had remained in there, kneeling in the cold grass even after the Ark's portal had closed, tears running down her face, flesh shivering as if her body wanted to rip the skin that involved it.

"I love the Order and all the people here… I'll always be an Exorcist…"

She had watched as he entered the passage whose light created a halo around him and grey shadows on his white hair.

Then, the portal had closed.

The light was gone.

After a while (the exact time, she did not know), she had stood, body moving automatically and taken the path back to the headquarters, being found on the way by one of the groups sent to chase Allen.

Had they tried to talk to her? Maybe.

Lenalee didn't know.

Nor did she care.

Everything around had turned into ice and she didn't want to move or do anything that could break it even more.

"I love the Order and all the people here… I'll always be an Exorcist…"

Now, it was Levelier who was trying to talk to her in the Science Department's room while her mind played, again and again, the last moments, as if by doing so she could discover some information, notice some detail that she had let slip by, find out where exactly things had started to fall apart and why...

Find something that would fix everything and make it how it was…

"Lenalee!" Levelier called her attention with vehemence. Her body, obeying only to instinctive commands and reactions, turned her face to him. Usually, she became nervous just seeing him, but this time, she wasn't really there.

"The Crows informed me that, when they found you, you were crying" There was a moment of silence. The attention of the people there was fixated either on the girl or on the Inspector. "You found Allen Walker, did you not?" The man inquired, without moving, looking taller than he was. Only his eyes were turned to the girl.

Lenalee didn't answer right away.

"I'll always be an Exorcist…"

"Please, Allen, you have to come back" She had told, no, asked of him. Why…

"I did…" There was no sense in lying and she knew it. Levelier replied with a nod, something in his eyes alike satisfaction in finally receive an answer. Upon returning, Lenalee had gone straight to the Science Department room, for no reason if not because the team had a familiar aura. They were all in silence, no one wanting to talk. All that they could do was to think about what had just happened, as if they couldn't comprehend what it had been. And how could they? How anyone could? It had happened so fast… Never had she missed so much the old building of the Headquarters, especially when she noticed some people whispering to each other.

She knew well the nature of those whispers.

Now, Levelier had come in, commenting that he had been looking for her and wanting to know details of what had transpired and ignoring Komui's protests, who had positioned himself behind the couch where his sister was sitting, hand firm upon her shoulder.

If it was up to him, Levelier shouldn't even be talking to Lenalee.

"He went…"

The girl knew, not consciously, but in her nerves, what Levelier meant. Just like she knew what those people had been whispering about.

"He didn't go with the Noah…" Lenalee muttered before the man could say one more word, eyes fixated at some point on the floor. Under her flesh, tremors still ran hidden, memories of fear engraved in veins, starting to react to Levelier's presence and also to the things that had happened in the last days which had culminated in this.

Allen leaving the Order.

"Everyone saw Walker leaving with that golem of his. He was accompanied by two Noah." The other said, never changing his tone.

"Inspector, I must insist…" Komui started, receiving a glare that while cold, was strangely empty.

"And some Agents confirmed to have seen one of them while they searched." At this, some of the whispers increased and some people tensed up. No doubt thinking it was a miracle the Agents hadn't been killed or perhaps recalling what had happened with Alma and how the Noahs had invaded the Order.

Komui showed no reactions, but was assaulted by the sensation that there was something strange with Levelier… The Inspector had never been one of revealing much of himself, usually keeping an efficient and cold exterior, however, there were some occasions when it was possible to notice some flame in his eyes… Tonight, there was nothing.

In a corner, Johnny watched the exchange of words along with Reever and other members of the Science Department that had stayed together. Both felt words shivering in their throats, but even they couldn't decipher what they really wanted to say.

"How?" It was the only thing Johnny could think. "How did everything come to this?"

"I'm sorry to say, Inspector, but after everything that occurred just some weeks ago with the Third and…" Komui avoided mentioning Kanda and Alma, it was not necessary. "I would say the Noah made clear enough that they want Allen, therefore…"

"And we left him incarcerated and alone…" He reflected. "If he is with the Noah now, it is not by choice…"

Allen might have not left with them, but if they got him…

Komui didn't want to think about it…

Lavi was also missing and there was the chance that…

"Even so, it doesn't look like Walker showed much resistance. One of the Noah was seen riding Timcampy. And the golem was carrying Allen and another Noah in its mouth." Levelier told in a suave voice.

"He didn't go with the Noah…" Lenalee repeated, fighting the impulse of closing her eyes and, not for the first time, she wished it all to be a nightmare.

And it was.

Only that it was a real nightmare.

The Inspector's eyes weighted over her. As always, they made her shiver, the same way an abused dog will when seeing a known whip in the hands of its owner. Every time he stared at her that way, for some seconds, she was once more that child tied down to a bed.

"Howard Link is dead."

The reaction to those words was instantaneous.

"Dead?"

"I can't believe it…"

"One minute!"

"Sir, do you think…?"

"You can't really think that…"

"Maybe he…"

"Allen would never do such a thing!"

"Didn't people see the Noah with him? Of course they…"

"But…"

"Silence" Levelier growled. The words died at once. "We have already confirmed that Allen Walker is the Fourteenth. We can take no risks. The Central has already made an announcement. From today on, he is a Noah and must be treated accordingly."

"He didn't go with the Noahs." The young girl hissed. This was impossible, something that had no place in reality. "He went away alone. The Noahs were not with him…"

Levelier tilted his head to the side, raising his eyebrows a little.

"Curious… So, if he had no intention of joining them, why would he leave, for starters?"

"I don't know."

"If he had no intention of joining them, why do we have witnesses that saw Walker's golem carrying them as well?"

"I don't know"

"If he had no intention of joining them, why it seems that he offered no resistance?"

"I don't know."

"Lenalee, I must insist that…"

"Enough."

The silence that followed was alike one following an unexpected bullet.

Few of the people present had ever heard Komui Lee speaking in such way and the whip of his voice made some of them, caught by surprise, to recoil a bit. Behind the glasses, his dark eyes glared at Levelier, severity marking each trace of his face.

"This night is being too long." He carried on, inflexible, eyes of steel. "And with the news of Link's death, we are all very shocked. So if you want to interrogate my sister, I must insist that you wait until after she has rested and willing to answer your questions."

For some seconds, Levelier didn't answer. Both men stared at each other, none giving signs of intending to back down.

Lenalee held her breath without noticing it. Komui still held her shoulder, the touch firm but gentle and at that moment, she thanked him for being there.

But her brother was right… Link… Dead?

She didn't take into consideration that Allen could have done this, not even for a second…

No.

What had truly happened, she didn't know… However Allen was not responsible, he wasn't.

"Allen… I wish so much that you were here… Why didn't you come back with me?"

"Very well." Levelier acquiesced, putting his hands behind his back in an official-like pose. "We'll schedule a reunion regarding the subject. Good night."

Only when he had left the room, Komui and some others breathed in relief.

Lenalee only stared at a window, her blood cold with fear. Fear of what the morning would bring. Fear of the future. Fear of what would come to pass next time she met Allen.

That if she ever came to see him again.

"Allen… Where are you?"

Outside, the night breeze ran among the trees, making the leaves wave.

How could everything outside look this calm while inside here everything felt so much like chaos, despite the apparent calmness?

Inside her, in the Order, in her "world"… Nothing more was complete. There was no firm place to stand on.

"Where is my world now?"

XxX

A forest of England, close to a small city, had seemed a good option for Allen.

Now, wandering among trees, the boy didn't regret it… The place wasn't much different from the forest near the Order's Headquarters… This offered, at the same time, a strange comfort and an equally displeasing sensation.

Maybe for being so alike, but not the same?

He sighed to himself.

The moon shone full in the sky, dripping its light on the forest and showing the way among fallen leaves. A night breeze caressed his face, carrying wild scents and, excluding the call of an owl or the shiver of the leaves, there was no sound but that of the moonlight touching whatever it encountered.

Slowly, Allen laid the young Noah's body between the roots of a tree. If they walked a little more towards the west, soon they would arrive in town… He wasn't sure of the time, but he supposed he could try getting some money by gambling, enough to pay for a room for the night and maybe a bit of food… If not, he would content himself with sleeping on the street…

But before anything, he should at least try to wake the girl.

He crouched before her and now, under the moonlight and with no hurry, he could see her, truly see her for the first time. Back in that dark room, Allen had thought that she didn't seem to be in her best shape and now, there were no doubts that she had seen better days…

For just how long had she been in that room?

There, lying among old and twisted roots, she looked more than never like something that had been forgotten by a child on the way to adulthood… The black stigmas could be taken not as marks, but cracks on her skin.

Allen took a deep breath before holding her shoulder and shaking it gently.

"Hey?" He muttered, awkwardly, voice a bit hoarse. "Hm… Hello? Wake up…"

He was already taking into consideration that the girl could be in some sort of coma when an instinctive grunt was born from her throat. Her eyelids shivered.

Allen could only hope he had not made a terrible mistake.

Her eyes opened slowly… They blinked, stayed still, and then moved to Allen, covered by a veil of mist. Her face turned to him. At her lack of immediate reaction, Allen decided to stay still until she situated herself. So slowly that it was almost imperceptible, the veil started to dissipate towards inside her eyes, as shadows being chased by the dawn. The Noah seemed to try to move, or at least something rushed through her muscles, but the body she had inhabited for all her life had clearly been asleep for too long and it could only tremble clumsily. It was as if she had forgotten how to control it.

But it looked to Allen as though she was trying to get away.

"Easy… I'm not going to hurt you…" Considering the fights he had had with the members of her Clan, this sounded kind of silly, but the girl was strange. He didn't know much about health and medicine and such things, but he didn't know a coma could have certain effects when the person woke up. Was that what had happened?

The girl looked at him. Her eyes were that animal-like golden of the Noahs, almost shining in the dark. Although the muscles of her face were still as those of a corpse, Allen recognized the confusion in her.

She opened and closed her mouth a few times and the boy was about to believe her unable to speak when, finally, the vocal cords remembered how to produce sound and her voice worked (husky, maybe due to the time without use).

"Who… Are you?"

"Allen Walker" He hesitated, wondering if she would attack, especially once she took notice of his Innocence, but the Noah only blinked a couple of times, in silence. Well, it was not like his answer clarified anything, but…

Then, she spoke again.

"Who… Who am I?"

XxX

At the moment the young Noah surfaced from a sea of unconsciousness so deep that it was almost from the realm of lost souls, an old sensation ran through his very blood… He had been reflecting about the next steps, after learning from Tyki how the assault to the Order had ended and had been worrying about Road, hoping that she would be able to recover without major complications when that wave came, wrapping each and every one of his nerves, agitating his blood until it reached the depths of his old soul.

He knew what that meant, but even then, he couldn't believe it.

That sensation… The presence it was connected to… It couldn't be real.

In the other room, Tyki had been repeating what had transpired to the others. Until some seconds ago, Sheryl had been screaming in blind fury about the disappearance or Road and wanting to know what had been the nature of the relationship between the Fourteenth and his "daughter"…

Now, the silence reigned.

He knew why.

The others had felt it as well.

That sensation came from their essence, waking a dark river in which there were mixed feelings that ranged from pain to happiness. The memories of Noah were restless and reacting…

They had felt another Noah.

But the Earl knew that this one had no reason to be alive.

He sat down, not knowing what to do for a moment (something that wasn't frequent)… First the Fourteenth waking inside Allen Walker, now she…

Different events... This wasn't the genes of the Noah's memory waking again in another host, it was not another incarnation… No, he had felt it. It was her…

The same from thirty-five years ago.

"Lero." He called as he stood up. The umbrella golem came towards its master, who was picking up his usual yellow coat. "Gather the others… I have matters to discuss with them."

"Lero… And the Exorcists, Earl-sama?"

He almost smiled upon remembering the prisoners.

"Tell them to leave some akumas Level Four watching. They can't do much anyway, not with Fidora's worms still inside the younger one." He didn't believe that damn old man would take such risks or try to escape by himself, he wasn't that stupid. And the redheaded brat was more dead than alive… None of them were in conditions to even try running away.

Not that they would be able to, given their location.

It showed how useful their beloved Innocences could be.

He pushed both away from his thoughts. Right now, he and his family had more important affairs.

Apocryphos had appeared, attacking Walker. He had been able to feel the danger, reason why he had sent Road and Tyki. Instead of bringing the boy back, even by force, Road had been hurt and Walker had escaped… It wasn't the ideal result, but it wasn't a defeat either. Tyki was wounded, but it was nothing serious. Road had received a direct hit, however, she had only recoiled to her dream dimension, where she could heal better and at least Walker hadn't been absorbed by that bastard.

Still, he couldn't say he was happy with how things had turned out.

Could it be that there was some connection between that and her "return"? There was no way of knowing for sure now, but when it came down to Allen Walker, every possibility should be taken into account.

Allen Walker…

The Millennium Earl admitted having some… Admiration for the boy, though he had turned out to be a bother ever since he had enlisted in the Order and their paths had started to cross with more frequency. Yet, it couldn't be ignored how Walker, at fifteen of age, had more value than what he expected from someone of this age, recovering even when he was supposed to be dead and returning to the battlefield still with that flame of determination.

To underestimate a foe was a foolish move.

And now, there was the fact he was Neah's host.

During the battle of Alma Karma and Yuu Kanda, the Earl had been very close to "retrieving" Walker to his side. And he had been nothing if not honest: He had been willing to stop it all if the boy gave in. And he had also been right when saying he couldn't stay in the Order anymore. For what Tyki had told them, the boy had been found in a dungeon and his golem restrained.

Nothing in this scenario had surprised him.

The Earl had already heard some Exorcists commenting about how the Order was their "family" and other pretty lies they told themselves, drowning in those addictive poisons that covered the truth as flowers can hide the corpse from which they're blooming. And those who truly believed such a thing from the bottom of their hearts were deluded fools.

Allen Walker was a proof himself: He had been an Exorcist for a long time now, had helped them to destroy his factory (and the memory was still cause of a great ire), but the past made of loyalty and servitude had been reduced to garbage as soon as they had found out he was a Noah's host. Instead of considering that Walker could be suffering some sort of kidnapping (although it was, in reality, a rescue), apparently, they had had no hesitation in classifying him as an enemy, even before trying to gather evidence to understand what had been truly happening.

Pathetic.

"I told him he couldn't stay there anymore." The Earl reflected as he exited his room and went through a hallway in the Black Ark. "I wonder if now he understands it."

As soon as he entered the room, the other Noahs turned to him. Some were standing such as Toraido and Sheryl, while others like Fidora and Tyki were sitting down. Everyone's agitation echoed in the air still, their bodies were unable to contain it.

"Did you feel it as well, Road? Did you notice?"

"What does that mean, Earl?" Devit rose from where he was, incapable of remaining still for longer, moving the gun in his fingers, dragging one foot against the floor.

"The presence we felt now… It wasn't the Fourteenth." Toraido affirmed with a controlled voice, though his golden eyes had that flash that one could never be sure if meant something good or bad.

"It can't be the Noah of Wrath, it wasn't the same…"

"You felt it as well, didn't you, sir?"

"C'mon, c'mon everyone, calm down, please~" He raised one hand and the others quieted down, Devit biting his lower lip to stop himself from keep talking.

Noahs, by nature, were able to sense each other's existence and, depending on a certain distance range, even their general locations. Another, more powerful sensation, came when the memory's genes woke in a new host and it persisted while the body went through the changes, regardless of where they were. While it still wasn't a precise feeling in the matters of localization, this still happened so the family could find their new member. And, like with Skin Bolic, they always felt it when one of them died.

But in this case…

This had been different. Since she hadn't been dead after all, the sensation had not been the same.

"But I felt her disappearing… We all did, we felt her fading…"

Due to the extensive damage, their memories had suffered thirty-five years ago, the others clearly didn't remember her, just like they didn't remember Neah… Only he and Road did… And probably Wisely, who hadn't manifested himself about it yet and only studied the others, hiding any feeling.

"The presence you all felt now… I admit I'm also surprised, actually. Me and Road, we thought she was dead… Well, well, surprises never stop happening, do they~?"

He looked at his family. Another generation of Noahs, one more in a long list, and all of them had always been at his side for years… Each unique, each different and each of them had been his family…

And he missed all those who had already left this world.

"I don't know how or why she is alive, but she is…" He decided to carry on before someone started making questions again. The time to remember the past could be postponed. Her presence had burned fiercely and then weakened, like a lamp shining brighter just before going out, warning them that she was alive. The problem was that, since this was not a real awakening, it hadn't lasted long enough to give them a sense of location, as generic as it might have been. This meant it could take time until they found her.

"You'll search for us as well, won't you?" He wondered, but it was a silly question. It was obvious that she would and the idea of seeing her again made him smile. He only lamented that Road wasn't there at the moment.

"So, it's two we have to search now…" Fidora muttered, opening a smile to the idea. "Well, this will be fun!"

The Earl smiled. He hadn't expected any other reaction. If there was a member of their family out there somewhere, the most natural thing to do was to bring them back.

After all, they belonged together.

Always.

"Hey, Earl, can we go fetch her? Can we?" Jasdero was already at his brother's side, excitation dancing in his eyes. Once again, the Earl was not surprised, nor were the other Noah. Devit and Jasdero were not known for their ability to stay very long without having what to do.

"We can find her faster than the others!" Devit insisted.

"This is not a game, nor is it a race" Toraido commented dryly, casting his serious gaze upon to the twins. Devit waved his hand, dismissing his words.

"Sadly, we don't know precisely what kind of situation this is, so it will be better to make a field recognition per say" He wanted to believe this was not needed, but knew better than to rush into things like this. The Noah Patriarch turned to one of the Noahs who had remained in silence, the one who had until now kept her favorite shape, of a black panther. "Lulubell, use the Ark. Try to find where she is, but just that… First, let's find details about what kind of condition we're dealing with."

Jasdero and Devit grumbled.

"But what for? Once we go find the girl, we bring her back right away! Hee!"

"If we know she is awake, wherever she is, we'll find her for sure!"

Tyki, still seated, chuckled to himself before asking in a tone of one wondering about the weather.

"Like when you found and exterminated Cross?"

"Shut up, Tyki!" They screamed together. The subject of the redheaded general who had fooled them was still an open wound in their pride.

Ignoring the three of them, Lulubell lowered her head to the Earl and went out, a living shadow moving, tail waving gently. Meanwhile, Devit and Jasdero still complained about Cross, pointing out how Tyki also hadn't been able to kill Allen Walker.

The mention of the boy made the Earl's thoughts go back to the possibility that Apocryphos' appearing and Walker's running away were related to the girl's resurgence… Could it be that… No, no, it wouldn't do to make conjectures, they needed factual information.

In one thing Devit was right, though: Wherever she was, she would be found.

Maybe, once she was, he would rather go fetch her himself…

As well as Allen Walker…

"And even so, why Lulubell? We could do that without a problem!" Devit's words only made Sheryl and Tyki exchange looks, Tyki hiding a small smile. The idea of the twins in a mission that involved subtlety was, in his mind, the perfect translation to an absolute disaster.

"Now, now, no fighting. She disappeared years ago… Before doing anything, I'd rather know the details…" The Earl ran his sharp eyes over the others. "But make no mistakes. We will bring her back in one way or another… And since you mentioned him…"

His eyes narrowed dangerously.

"This applies to Allen Walker as well"

Finally! I've planning this story since last year! This is my first fic of D. Gray Man and I'm really excited about it! Now, while this is NOT an Allen/OC story, there will be pairings later on.

Please, bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if there is any error, please tell me!

As you can see, this whole story sets place right after when Allen leaves the Order, but there are some later chapters of the manga which will be ignored and not be part of it.

Thank you so much for reading it, please, leave a review!