One day, four intrepid heroes and best friends sat around in a homework circle. Tennessee was dedicatedly reading a book, Captain Maryland was writing some Chinese characters, and Captain Bae and Nick Maple were playing League of Legends. These four were all best friends hanging out, how this fits into the canon of Nick Maple I am much too lazy to explain, but they originally became friends because of Dominoes pizza, hatred of Voldemorte, and a little bit of magic.
Anyways, Captain Maryland looked up from her studies and looked at her friends. She realized that they all had separate interests, and they would soon be sent to different corners of the earth to fight crime. She needed to come up with some sort of glue to keep the homework circle of friendship together.
"Captain Tennessee?" She asked.
"I'm doing homework," was the response.
"I think that we need to do a bonding activity."
Captain Tennessee snapped her book shut. "Bondage? S & M?"
"No. I was thinking more of M & M."
The boys did not look up from the League game.
"We need to bond! Get closer as a group! We should pass around the M & M pants."
Captain Tennessee was immediately overprotective. "But those are my pants. They are a fashion STAPLE in my closet."
"Can't you share? I'll make you some hot chocolate."
Captain Tennessee reconsidered. "Fine. But I doubt they will fit us all."
"Just get them."
"Ok…" Captain Tennessee got up and got her lucky M & M pants out of her top dresser drawer. These were the first pants that she had even fought crime in—they were special. She also looked unbelievably sexy in them, something that she knew could be difficult for the other members of the group.
Captain Maryland took the pants and tried them on. The boys were still playing League.
"They fit perfect! You look smokin'" Said Captain Tennessee.
Neither of the boys looked up.
Captain Maryland put the pants on Captain Bae's laptop. Captain Bae paused his game and tried them on. He, too, looked smokin'. Next, they draped the pants over Nick Maple's laptop. Surely the pants wouldn't fit him, too? But they did! The pants looked smokin' on all four of our honorable heroes. And so they designed a plan. They would pass the pants around, mailing them from one person to the next, as a symbol of friendship. No one would be allowed to wash or alter the pants, they were obviously magic to be so smokin'.
The next day, the four heroes parted ways.
Captain Maryland had the pants, and she planned to mail them to Captain Bae soon. She was fighting dating pigeons in China, and on her way to the post office, she was attacked by some pidgeons reminiscent of those pelicans bird things in Finding Nemo, they were all simultaneously chanting: Our smokin' pants, our smokin' pants, our smokin' pants…
TO BE CONTINUED