Rating: PG-13 for now, eventual R
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. This non-profit, non-copyright infringing fanfiction belongs to me under international copyright laws and taking it is plagiarism. Don't steal and don't sue. Thank you *Phantomness bows*
Characters: Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Mikoto, Uchiha Fugaku, Team 7, Team 8, Team 10, Team Gai, Sai, Ami, Fuki, Kasumi, later Hashirama, Tobirama, Hiruzen, Akatsuki, minor OCs
Summary: Apparently, saving the world and wandering through the desert was not enough to atone for Uchiha Sasuke's sins. The gods have decided to test him to see if he can really redeem the Uchiha Clan and become Hokage – as Uchiha Satsuki. Time Travel, AU. Dimensional travel, Female Sasuke
Warnings: female Sasuke
Notes: I'm going to say the Academy started in August, so I can set up the kunoichi training lessons when there are flowers blooming and later on have Ino's birthday party.
Sasuke still thinks of himself as male, so I use Sasuke and male pronouns when he refers to himself. To outsiders, I use female pronouns and Satsuki.
Chapter 1: The Beginning
Uchiha Sasuke had not enjoyed a peaceful night's sleep in several weeks. However, he had dropped off the last few missing-nin, or at least their heads and forehead protectors, and currently, had enjoyed a real bath, a decent meal, and a soft bed, courtesy of the Kazekage. It was somewhat peculiar that he was dreaming of the Sage of the Six Paths, but he tried to pay attention. The gods, it seemed, were unhappy with him. They were, however, giving him another chance to redeem not only himself, but the Uchiha. And that was a chance Sasuke could not afford to lose. So of course, he said yes. They had even given him a gift, of sorts, a permanent blend of ninjutsu and genjutsu, to hide the Mangekyo Sharingan and Rinnegan in his eyes, and for that, he was grateful. However, when he awoke, it took him a moment to realize that they had also had a sense of humor.
Uchiha Sasuke was now a female.
He slowly slid out from underneath the covers. His pajamas, he noted, were at least a tasteful shade of dark blue instead of being pink. He glanced in the mirror. He was approximately six years old and honestly did not look much different, although his hair was a longer and perhaps his eyelashes as well. His center of balance was slightly lower. Sasuke shrugged and proceeded to the bathroom. So he would have to sit on the toilet to urinate. That was a small price to pay for the chance to save his clan and see his parents and older brother alive again. After brushing his teeth, Sasuke checked his closet and was relieved to see that it was mostly in shades of black and dark blue, with a few greens and reds. There was no pink or orange in sight. He settled on his usual outfit of a black shirt and shorts and then headed downstairs to breakfast.
Unfortunately, Itachi was not there. Sasuke greeted his parents, and tried very hard not to cry at the sheer fact at seeing them both smiling at him and alive. He blamed it partially on the fact that he was a child and partially on the fact that he was a girl, but nonetheless, they were alive and real. Breakfast was traditional, miso soup and rice, a dish of pickled vegetables, and broiled mackerel. Sasuke ate slowly, glad that no one hurried him up, so he could study his parents, memorizing their features. Eventually, his father put down his cup of tea and morning newspaper and left for the police station, and he plucked up his courage to ask his mother if he could help wash the dishes. Mikoto was slightly surprised, but pleased, and said of course. What a thoughtful child Satsuki was.
Sasuke asked his mother when Itachi would be returning from his mission, but unfortunately, all Mikoto could tell him was soon. Sasuke was not completely certain as to how he would react when Itachi came home. He knew for a fact that Itachi loved him, which brought a slight blush to his cheeks, as his last memory of Itachi was Itachi disappearing as Edo Tensei was released and telling him that he would love him forever. With that memory firmly in place, even if Itachi were to ignore him, he could deal with it.
After helping with the dishes, Sasuke returned to his room. It was a week before he was to enter the academy, he found, from the calendar. That was fine. His chakra reserves, while higher than they had been when he had been six years old in his original timeline, were pitifully low compared to himself at nineteen years of age, as was to be expected. He shrugged and began to go through a few basic kata, being careful not to attempt anything beyond what he would know at this point in time, based on his memories of being Uchiha Satsuki. He could handle this. Yes, he would be a kunoichi, instead of a shinobi, but surely, it would not be all that different? And, perhaps, he would finally figure out what the girls actually did when they went off for kunoichi training in the afternoons three days a week.
Three days later, Itachi returned. Sasuke had prepared ahead of time, as much as he was able, to lessen the shock, and seeing Itachi with one arm in a sling after his perfect mission record would have been a shock to anyone, not just Satsuki, so it was perfectly reasonable for Satsuki to shout for her older brother, and then promptly throw herself into Itachi's arms, despite Itachi having one arm in a cast.
"Calm down, Satsuki," Itachi said, having managed to catch Satsuki with his good arm. Behind him, his teammates made their farewells as his father and mother rose to greet him.
"What happened?" Fugaku asked. Itachi was a prodigy, the pride of the Uchiha clan, but even geniuses, it seemed, could make mistakes. Mikoto gently helped Itachi sit, Satsuki still attached to her older brother like a limpet.
"It was a multiple layered trap," Itachi explained, and then he and his father engaged in a technical discussion involving genjutsu and several earth techniques that they assumed went over Sasuke's head while Sasuke just cuddled and reminded himself that Itachi was alive and safe for now and he didn't miss the fact that his brother was going to be on medical leave for at least the next six weeks until his arm healed naturally.
For the first time in a long while, Sasuke smiled.
"So, how was your first day at the Academy, Satsuki?" Itachi asked as he and Sasuke walked home. Sasuke smiled up at his older brother.
"It was not too hard," He replied, resisting the urge to say that it was easy, as he had already been through the academy before. Kunoichi training had been interesting, although a tad disappointing. While he understood the need for a kunoichi to portray herself as an ordinary woman in order for a successful infiltration mission, he did not quite understand how flower arranging played a role. Perhaps he could ask his mother later. At least he had seen Ino and Sakura amiably chatting with each other, and what a relief that he was now female so they were no longer competing over him. Instead, they divided their attention between Namikaze Naruto and Yamada Sai.
Nonetheless, Sasuke was still a mischievous child, so as they passed a convenience store, he paused, an idea coming to mind. Itachi looked mildly curious.
"I need to buy something, niisan. It will only take a few minutes." Sasuke explained. "It's for homework."
"I'll wait outside," Itachi replied, bemused, wondering what sorts of supplies Satsuki would need from a convenience store for her homework. Was that also part of kunoichi training? Satsuki emerged a few minutes later with a large paper bag, but without another word, a smile on her face. Itachi raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, and the two of them went home in silence. Satsuki said nothing unusual at dinner, either, save for requesting his help, and of course, Itachi was happy to give it, although he was curious that it was not a request for extra training.
Ten minutes later, Itachi was feeling much less sure of himself. He realized with a sinking feeling that Satsuki had indeed taken her kunoichi training to heart. So here he was, in front of a large mirror, hair pulled back neatly, with a towel draped over his shoulders. Satsuki had thoughtfully bought not only a one-hundred color palette of eye shadow, mascara, foundation that perfectly matched their skin tone, several shades of blush, a dozen lipsticks and an eyelash curler and tweezers, but also two Emory boards and several bottles of nail polish, along with cotton balls, nail polish remover, and some cold cream in case she made mistakes.
"Are you ready, niisan?" She asked politely.
"Ah… Satsuki," Itachi hesitated. "Perhaps you should ask mother to help…"
"Niisan," Sasuke said, makeup brush in hand, his Sharingan on, not willing to miss an instant of this. "You promised."
Four hours later, Fugaku finally kicked the two of them out of the bathroom so he could take a bath. Mikoto took one look at Itachi's face. "Why, Satsuki," She said. "Itachi looks lovely."
Satsuki beamed. Itachi tried not to scowl. He had suffered through precisely thirty-two different iterations of Satsuki's astonishingly talented makeup skills, but she not decided which one was perfect. And, on top of that, she had taken pictures of every single one with her camera. "But," Mikoto continued. "I thought you were doing ikebana today?"
Itachi's brain stuttered to a halt.
"We were," Sasuke admitted, without a trace of guilt. "But I cannot understand how flower arranging helps one to pass as a lady. And if one is passing as a spy, perhaps the enemy can see through a disguise technique. But with makeup…"
Mikoto chuckled quietly. "All right, Satsuki. I will explain it to you later." She said. "Itachi, why don't you go clean your face off? Satsuki, you still have homework to do, don't you? You should go work on that."
Sasuke nodded and walked off to his room, leaving Itachi staring after him.
"She tricked me," Itachi muttered dumbly.
"She is a kunoichi now," Mikoto replied, with a smile on her face. "We may not be as skilled in direct combat as shinobi, but we are practiced in the art of deception."
Itachi dearly loved his little sister, but this was the first time in his life he felt for one instant, the murderous impulse to strangle her. At the same time, however, it was the first time he actually respected her as a fellow ninja.
Mikoto put her hand on his shoulder, as though she knew what he was thinking, and smiled. She had not seen this much emotion out of Itachi in a long time, and as usual, it was Satsuki who had brought it out of him. "Satsuki did buy cold cream, didn't she?" She asked. Itachi nodded. "I'll lend you my makeup remover," She told him. "You must be tired of cold cream by now."
"Thank you, mother," Itachi replied, and realized that he meant it.
Two days later, the next phase of Sasuke's plan was ready. The man running the photo counter had very kindly made four copies of all the photographs Sasuke had taken of Itachi, and it was a Wednesday, so he would have kunoichi training in the afternoon again. Ami and her cohorts, having been soundly told off – and attacked – by Ino after picking on Sakura on Monday, had turned their eyes toward easier prey, and Sasuke had 'accidentally' bumped into Ami before leaving class yesterday. He had no doubt whatsoever in his mind that they would be picking on him today. The stage was set.
Upon arriving early at the Academy, he discreetly slipped select photographs of Itachi into the lockers of Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino, Yamanaka Ino, Akimichi Chouji, Nara Shikamaru, and Hyuuga Hinata. After a moment's hesitation, he added one to the locker of Namikaze Naruto as well. It had been a surprise to learn that not only was Naruto acknowledged as the son of the Yondaime Hokage, the Fourth was still alive in this timeline. He would have to adjust his plans. Sasuke did not like acting on incomplete information, and he had even less information on the Fourth Hokage than he did on the Third.
The morning class was uneventful, although he felt the glares from Ami all through Iruka-sensei's lecture. Sasuke kept his eyes alternatively on the teacher and alternatively on his textbook, paying them no attention. It was rather pitiful, to be honest, compared to real killing intent. Nonetheless, he tolerated it until the afternoon session, when they broke for kunoichi training. They were doing origami today, which was perfect. Sasuke accepted an instruction booklet and a small stack of pretty paper and took a seat in the back of the room. Then, he took out his remaining stash of Itachi photographs.
Almost immediately, Ami and her followers zeroed in on him. "What do you have there, Satsuki?" Ami simpered as she grabbed the photographs. "Oh, were you trying to look pretty?" Sasuke tried hard not to roll his eyes. Were they really that stupid that they couldn't tell the difference between a six-year old girl and an eleven-year old boy?
"Well, it didn't work! I can't believe you even drew lines under your eyes! You look uglier than ever! I'm going to show these to everyone so they'll see just how ugly you are!" Ami snickered as the two girls behind her nodded.
Hook, line, and sinker, Sasuke thought, hiding a smirk as Ami and her two cohorts walked off, before turning his attention to the origami.
"Mom, Satsuki-chan put this picture in my locker. Do you think she likes me?" Kiba asked between bites of a chicken leg.
"…That isn't Satsuki…" Hana said slowly, as Kiba shoved the picture across at the two of them. "That's Itachi."
"Hahaha! So that's what the Uchiha gets up to in his spare time? No wonder the Uchiha are so screwed up!" Tsume barked out a laugh as Kuromaru peeked over her shoulder. The four of them stared at the picture of Itachi Uchiha, lovingly lipsticked, with vibrant red eye shadow.
"…I am so glad I wasn't one of his fangirls." Hana muttered.
Shino and his father, Shibi silently ate their simple meal of vegetables and whole grains, while studying the picture of Uchiha Itachi, wearing quite neutral-toned eye shadow and pale pink lipstick. No words needed to be said, as from the chittering of their kikaichu, it was easy to tell that they were just slightly disturbed.
"Does Satsuki-chan have an older sister?" Ino asked her father. "I wish I had an older sister, so I could dress her up too."
"Ah," Inoichi scratched his ponytail awkwardly. "Satsuki-chan has an older brother."
Ino frowned for a moment. When she looked up, she had a gleam in her eye. "Dad…" She said. "Can I dress you up then?"
"So, Satsuki-chan put this picture in your locker, then?" Shikaku asked his son.
"Troublesome," The man said with a sigh.
Chouji helped himself to another serving of pork spareribs in black bean sauce while his father, Chouza, studied the photograph with a smile.
"We all have different ways to deal with stress, Chouji." He shrugged.
Chouji just nodded as he took another bite of rice. He thought Itachi looked rather pretty. He wondered if Satsuki-chan would look that pretty when she grew up.
"Do you know why such behavior is disgraceful in a ninja, Hinata?" Her father said coldly from across the table.
"N-no, f-father," Hinata stuttered, staring down at her plate.
Hyuuga Hiashi put the photograph of Itachi down with disdain. "Even in his leisure pursuits, a ninja must always be perfect." He declared. "His lipstick is smudged – there."
Hinata almost choked.
Yondaime Hokage Namikaze Minato studied the picture of Itachi with a slight smile. He was ever so glad he had decided to put Itachi on medical leave. It was clear that Itachi definitely needed the break.
Naruto just slurped on his ramen.
"Don't you think Itachi looks beautiful, dear?" Mikoto asked her husband at dinner that night, showing him the assortment of photographs she had collected from several of her neighbors and fellow clansmen while grocery shopping.
Fugaku tried not to choke on his noodles. "Yes, dear," He agreed weakly, wondering if he would ever live down the shame of seeing his eldest son wearing makeup. There had been quite a few jokes and ribald comments about it at the police station…
Sasuke beamed as he showed them the origami hawk and crow beating up the snake and the fox he had made.
"Where did you get this photograph?" Itachi asked very calmly.
"Not telling," Shisui ruffled his younger cousin's hair, despite the killer intent Itachi was radiating. Next to him, Kakashi chuckled.
"The blue eye shadow really does bring out your eyes, Itachi-kun."
"And is that pink nail polish you're wearing?" Shisui added cheerfully.
Itachi still couldn't figure out where Satsuki had hidden the camera.
It was not all about the humiliation. Sasuke wanted to make the Uchiha Clan seem a little more approachable, a little more human. And it just so happened to be that Itachi was the genius of the Uchiha Clan, so bringing their genius down to earth…
Needless to say, tomorrow would be an interesting day.
I will try to keep the characters in-character as possible. However, I am also attempting to write humor, so please excuse any OOCness. Before the massacre, Sasuke was a happy child and eager to please. In this AU, there is no massacre.
…Who said Sasuke isn't vengeful? I blame his makeup skills on Orochimaru.
No pairings as of now, unless you squint – they're six years old!