Why Can't Aoko Get A Date? By Icka! M. Chif

Aoko's question:

"Why can't I ever seem to get a date?"

The answer:

Enter one background character. Nice enough guy, average looking, doesn't talk much except for the occasional background noise and prank fodder. One of those dime a dozen types you see in mass crowds.

Only this one has a slight crush on Aoko. There are just some small, slight deterrents to his acting on this crush.

Deterrent #1: The Close Female Friend.

Keiko was the first one to notice his interest in the blue eyed girl. She quietly observed for a while, then walked up beside him.

"You like her, huh?"

He nodded.

Keiko mused this information for a moment, then patted him comfortingly on the arm before walking off. "Hope you can run fast."

Deterrent #2: The Detective.

Hakuba was dense. He was slightly aware of it and did his best to compensate, even if certain human behaviour did and always would escaped his logic. But he had discovered that he could discover certain patters of behaviour through observation.

Such as a sudden interest in the vivacious Nakamori Aoko.

Not an intelligent move on the other person's behalf.

He calmly walked beside the other boy's desk, where he was sitting and caught his attention. "I have a shovel."

The boy blinked. "Huh?"

"That I will use to beat you senseless, disembowel you, cut off your head, and bury your body where no one shall ever find you again with, should your conduct towards Aoko-chan become inappropriate." He deadpanned. "Are we clear?"

The boy paled and squeaked. "Perfectly."

"Good." With that, he turned and walked off as if he casually delivered death threats every day.

Deterrent # 3: The Sorceress.

Akako didn't waste much time on meaningless pleasantries when she felt it wasn't necessary. She took it as a mater of pride and did her best to go by this when ever possible.

Case in point.

"You hurt Aoko-chan in anyway, and I'll turn you into a kangaroo rat." Aoko may have been a rival for Kaito's affections, but she had long since figured out that harming the wild haired girl would not earn her any points in the magician's book. Therefore, being friendly to the girl was in her best interest.

The boy blinked, taken back and sputtered. "Eh?!"

Akako smiled, a grin so sharp it could scare the first two rows of teeth off a shark before she turned and sauntered away. "My hyenas are hungry."

Deterrent #4: The Best Friend.



*nervous fidgeting*

*sloooooow smile*

*nervous sweatdrops*

Kaito grinned and held up a saw. "Wanna see if I can saw you in half?"

Since most of the deterrents are not around outside of school, our guy hatches upon a plan to ask her out in the one place she should be away from any potential problems.

Her house.

Deterrent # 5: The Father

Nakamori Ginzo wasn't a mountain of a man. Or a bear of a man for that matter. He was more of a yowling, hissing, screeching cat of a man. Lots of bark, and when it came down to the wire, a mean bite to back it up as well.

But deep down, despite his gruff exterior, he was really a nice person with a kind heart.

You just had to get past the temper first.

Which was never improved by coming home early in the morning from pulling an all-nighter down at the station and having someone knock on the door while he was in the process of taking his gun apart before putting in the safe while he slept.

So therefore it seemed decently logical to his sleep depraved brain to bring it with him when he went to answer the door.

The guy just stared for a second at the large angry looking man, then the weapon in his hand and squeaked.

"Whaddya want?" Nakamori growled.

He quickly adlibbed. "Uh... I'm here to sell newspapers?"

"We already get the paper." The inspector growled before slamming the door in his face.

He quickly left.

Home plan having failed, he came up with another plan: After school.

Deterrent # 6: The Temper

"Um... excuse me?"

"Honestly!" Aoko growled, in a royal funk after Kaito had flipped her skirt, resulting in her chasing him around with a mop for most of the last class period of the day. "Boys are such PERVERTS!"

The last word was said with a great deal of force as she swung the mop down onto a desk with enough force to break the desk.

He quickly turned and walked away. Aoko was a nice girl, very pretty and all that, but there were safer things he could do with his time.

Like jump in front of a herd of stampeding rhinos.

And that is why Aoko can never get a date.


This is another 'Ysabet's Fault' fic, thanks to an early morning conversation about Fathers, Weaponry and Potential Suitors for Daughters. (mine prefers a large knife and a grin like an overly friendly bear.)

Thanks, Ysabet!!!

Thanks also to Neechan for the lessons on proper shovel etiquette. Hakuba's line is a close to dead on quote.

.In retrospect, my family is scary ^_^ *laughs*