It was probably bad form to invoke Merlin's name and use it against Sarah but if it would get results then she'd promise to deliver him up on a platter. Perhaps it was wrong to play on Sarah's obsession with Merlin. After all, she knew with great clarity the allure Merlin presented. He was incredibly hard to resist and so ridiculously easy to become obsessed with. She'd been obsessed with him in many ways over the years, even in Camelot she was obsessed with the great Emrys without knowing it was Merlin. Sarah and Morgana had that in common, their obsession with a certain warlock. Only difference was Merlin seemed to be also the tiniest bit obsessed with Morgana. Reciprocal obsession. That gave her the upper hand. That and the fact she clearly had a tighter grip on her sanity than Sarah did. Also, she had the hairpin Merlin had pushed into her hand. Though she did think he was putting a little too much faith in her lock picking skills. Morgana watched Sarah as she sat in the chair and stared back at her. The more she looked at Sarah, the more she could see Morgause in her. It was the small things, gestures and expressions. She didn't hold herself with as much confidence as Morgause had though. Morgana wondered what Sarah had been like as a child, had she been warm, affectionate, and full of life and laughter? When did her innocence start to seep out of her? When had Morgause put the burden of the knowledge of their past onto her child?
Morgana waited for Sarah to say something. Do something. Anything. But she just stared at her.
Morgana wasn't sure what she preferred: the incessant chatting or the silent staring. She sighed; she decided she probably should get Sarah talking if she were going to convince her to let her go. Which meant she'd have to start a conversation, ask questions and not mock Sarah. She had to play nice. Even if she couldn't find it in herself to feel sorry for the girl who was her niece. So, where to start. She knew where to start. All roads led to Merlin. But she didn't want to share even a little bit of him with Sarah. But at the same time she was genuinely curious.
"So, Morgause asked you to get close to Merlin, then?" She asked. It was as good as any place to start. She could picture her sister using her child to get the result she wanted.
Sarah sat up straighter and fidgeted in the chair, "No. I met Merlin purely by chance. At University. It wasn't until we became friends that Mother informed me he was the Merlin."
Morgana didn't think it was purely coincidence. She was sure Morgause had engineered the whole thing, had manipulated the situation. "You didn't know he would be in your classes?"
Sarah shook her head and then frowned, "No," she said slowly, "but I hadn't originally been going to take history, Mother had encouraged me to take it. She'd practically insisted."
And there it was. Daughter was realizing her mother had played her. It was a little sad to watch. Morgana watched as Sarah realized a moment she clearly treasured had been orchestrated. She expected anger but instead Sarah slumped down looking defeated.
Morgana sighed, "You're not the first to be manipulated by Morgause. She had a way of getting people to do exactly what she wanted and making it seem it had just happened or even that it was your idea."
"She was my mother but I never felt that she loved me. The only thing she ever cared about was you." Sarah said bitterly.
Morgana knew what it was to have someone in your life that was more interested in their own obsession than you. She knew what it was to feel like you were just there to be moved around and manipulated and used for someone else's cause. And honestly she couldn't imagine Morgause as the maternal type, but she could imagine a sad little blonde girl desperate for some attention and some love.
"I'm sure she loved you in her own way, Sarah."
Sarah laughed, "No. I really don't think she did."
"What was it about Merlin that made you like him?" The question made Morgana's skin crawl, as did the thought of Sarah convincing Morgause to let her keep him.
"I don't like him. I love him. And I could have made him love me."
Morgana shook her head, "You can't force someone to love you. You can't make someone feel love."
"I could have!" Sarah screamed, "But then you had to waltz in looking perfect and understanding things about him that I can't and you ruined everything!"
She winced as Sarah yelled and came toward her with that damn knife, she honestly thought Sarah wanted to slice her into little pieces and put her into the freezer. She tried for a smile and a soothing tone of voice, "I'm sorry about that."
"You're not sorry for anything," Sarah crouched in front of Morgana in much the same way as Merlin had, though Merlin had enticed warm, comforting feelings in her, Sarah was more an annoyance, something that had to be dealt with, "How could he see anything good in you after everything you did?"
Morgana shrugged, "That's a question only he can answer."
She'd love to know the answer to that one herself. Sarah moved and sat cross-legged in front of her and reached out and tugged lightly on the ends of Morgana's hair, "You really are far too beautiful. But beauty isn't everything. I'm a better person than you."
Morgana nodded, "You probably are."
Sarah straightened and she went back to being less weepy and more angry and determined, "But he'll realize. He'll see that I'm better for him. I can make him love me."
Morgana sighed as she felt the conversation once again going around in circles, "And how are you going to do that?"
"I need to find a way to get rid of you for good and then I can console him over the loss of you and we'll grow closer and then without you there to blind him, he will see that I've been there all along, that I'll never leave him." Sarah smiled and nodded.
Morgana rolled her eyes, it was definitely time to get out of here, not that she feared Sarah could actually kill her but because she wasn't sure she could listen to anymore of this insanity.