Send in the Clown


Penelope Decker is in town for her grand daughter's birthday. She meets Lucifer and wraps him around her little finger.

(See additional notes at the end)

Her hands buried deep inside the lush feathers, Chloe immersed herself into the wings, giving to their divine appeal. God knows she'd never been the religious type, but the wings were gorgeous, irresistible. She purred with contentment, taking it all in, senses in overdrive. Overwhelmed and panting, she crashed against the warm body they were attached to.

"Lucifer," she moaned when he pressed her against his chest with a devilish smile, eyes glowing red.

"I promise I shall fulfill every desire you may possess in this life, Detective,' he said, and she woke up with a start.

What the fuck! She hadn't had a good sex dream in like forever and she wakes up before she reaches some kind of release? She rolled over to her back, huffing in disappointment. Why didn't she dream of Dan instead? Scratch that. She knew he wasn't ready to let her go and maybe he was right, they could patch things up. But to sleep with him again, it was a bad idea even if they weren't technically divorced yet. She shook her head. Nah, definitely a bad idea. If she slept with Dan, she'll never see the end of it. She wasn't even attracted to him any more. It would be like putting on old running shoes. She deserved better.

Lucifer, was he any better? Lusting after her rich womaniser sidekick was one thing, acting on it, as much as she wanted to, it was the mother of all bad ideas. She drew two columns in her head. In the pros, she pondered, well, to be honest, he was… he was… She seethed in frustration. Yes, he was. It was the main reason she could never ever sleep with him. Best case scenario, it would be messy and she'll end up hurt with no self-esteem left.

On the other end, why not, she mused, combing her hair with her fingers, the pros and cons still running in the back of her head. She was a grownup woman with needs, she was divorced, almost divorced, she pondered. There would be no strings attached, after all he was Lucifer fucking Morningstar, playboy extraordinaire. Nothing could ruffle his feathers. She repressed a chuckle. And yes, she was attracted to the man, anyone with a pulse was attracted to him. But was it enough? He would put her career in jeopardy, something she couldn't afford, not with the Palmetto case hanging in the balance.

She glanced at her alarm clock on the bedside table. Not even seven. Well, at least, she'll have time to get the party rolling. Trixie was turning eight today, it was a big deal. When did that happened, she smiled to herself. She sat up on her bed and folded forward, reaching for her toes. Yep, plenty of time to whine about her love life or lack of when the day was over. Maybe call Lucifer later, have a drink at Lux, try to feel alive again? She paddled to the kitchen, ignoring the butterflies in her belly, brew some coffee and went to sit in the patio.

"Mom, when did you get here?"

A statuesque woman in her early sixties stopped her Tai Chi routine and turned around. "Oh, late last night. Did I awake you, I'm sorry, darling…"

"No, I figured I'd get everything settled before Trixie wakes up."

"Trixie, really? It sounds awfully like a hooker's name, you know I don't like it."

"She likes it."

"She's eight for heaven's sake, how would she know? Well anyway, you're right, how should I know? I wish I remember when you were her age, but I don't," her mother shrugged matter-of-factly. "I was too busy with my career," she air quoted with a smirk. She hugged her daughter, making the coffee dangerously slouch inside her mug. "Really I'm sorry dear, biggest mistake of my life."

Chloe made a face and hugged her back. "T's alright, I survived. Are you okay Mom?"

"Just peachy. Boulder is a doozy, Julian is still madly in love with me, I'm kickstarting a new sci fi project à la Galaxy Quest, and I'm glad if this horrendous house is of any use to you."

"Yeah, I know you always hated it, but Trixie loves it here. You're a life saver."

"What about your soon to be ex? Always the tool? How someone like you could fall for this insignificant jerk, it's beyond me. It's a miracle you finally got over him. Oh, I forgot, you didn't, he cheated on you, yeah!"

"Mom don't, you may not like him but he's still Trixie's dad."

"And you're still my daughter, forgive me for taking sides," she huffed. "What did you plan for my grand daughter? A studio tour? A trip to Las Vegas?"

"Well, banners, an inflatable bounce house, chocolate cake, more chocolate cake, and plenty of band aids."

"No clown?"

"A clown?" Chloe frowned, "why would I…"

"Come on! You're not over it yet? I'm sorry Chloe, you weren't meant to see that movie."

"Well, I cannot unsee it, can I," she mumbled, taking her coffee back to the kitchen. "I better get started with… Lucifer? What are you doing here?"

Lucifer bowed elegantly in her general direction, sitting a bunch of wrapped gifts on the kitchen counter. "Good morning to you too, Detective, aren't you ravishing this morning," he teased her. "Your little ensemble is quite becoming. I never pictured you as a Minnie mouse fan, suits you perfectly I must say. I understand it is Beatrice's birthday today. I grant you this is all quite annoying but isn't it customary that little humans get presents for the special occasion? I couldn't decide which one was more appropriate, so I thought I shall get a selection."

"Little humans?" For a split moment, Chloe found it endearing he remembered her daughter's birthday. "Lucifer, why are you in my house?" she spat, trying to look the sterner she could and failing.

"Detective, I take it you're not a morning person. Do you want me to start again?"

"How did you get in?"

He chuckled. "You know, secrets of the trade and whatnots. I wouldn't beat myself up if I were you."

"Why are you here?"

"Are you broken Detective, I answered that a minute ago," he said, a surprising mixture of concern and boredom. "You're not going to throw me away again, are you? I'm merely here to help with the festivities," he smiled mischievously.

"I don't need your help, you're not her father!"

"Of course I am not, what a terrible idea," he protested heartily. "Speaking of the devil," he grinned, "where is Detective Douche?"

"Well, well, well, what have we here," a voice interrupted their bickering. "This piece of eye candy doesn't fit in one of the closets so where did you hide him, Chloe? Or maybe I'm mistaken and he's an intruder? Shall I call 911? Oh, wait, no need, you're a cop, right? Give me your gun and call it self defence."

Lucifer did a double take at the sound of the voice and turned around. "Rest assured I would not dare to intrude, Madam. Where are my manners?" he said with a flourish. "May I introduce myself? Lucifer, Lucifer Morningstar," he extended a hand.

The seasoned actress glared at it and crossed her arms on her chest. "Why in hell did you pick such a ridiculous stage name, and I've known a few," she chuckled. "And more importantly, what in god's name does my daughter see in you, except the obvious?" she asked.

"My father has nothing to do with my presence over here. I'm a colleague of your daughter's and a friend, I hope," he beamed. "And you are Ms Penelope Decker, former B movie queen."

"Are calling me a dinosaur?"

"I apologize, I did not mean to cause offense."

"Didn't you?"

"It is an honour to meet you, Ms Decker. Your daughter did not disclose the fact you will be in attendance to this family event. I was looking forward to meeting you. I assure you I am your biggest fan. Sinners and Flesh Eaters of Demon Town, The Return of the Creepers, Fear and Loathing in Encino…"

"You're certainly one of the tallest," she stopped him, giving him a critical gaze. Totally unimpressed, she turned to her daughter. "What is he doing here? He's certainly an improvement from your poor travesty of a husband and a fine specimen to boot..." Lucifer puffed himself up. Both women rolled their eyes in perfect unison. "… despite his appalling taste in movies. Great hands, probably fantastic in the sack, and the accent is an added bonus, I give you that. Why haven't I heard of this new crush? I thought my long string of beaus should not have encouraged you to follow in my footsteps."

"He's not… he just a colleague!" Chloe protested, making a show of emptying the dishwasher. To her dismay, she couldn't help the pinkness from creeping up her ears.

"Just a colleague? Highly unlikely. His shoes alone could reimburse the national debt of a Caribbean dictatorship."

"Thank you," Lucifer cheered. "Obviously, I am a consultant." Penelope tilted her head. "With the LAPD?" a puzzled Lucifer added with a frown. He turned to Chloe. "Is your mother's age impairing her faculties?" he whispered to her ear with a side glance.


"And she does seem immune to my natural charm," he commented out loud, looking somewhat distraught.

"How would I know, you just met her! Why don't try your little trick, ask her about, you know."

"Oh, certainly, I can do that. But it is no parlour trick, it works, except for you of course, you weasel."

"So you say."

"I'll demonstrate then," he smiled. "Dear Penelope, tell me. What do you desire more than anything else in this life?"

Penelope gave an inquisitive glance to her daughter. "Please, be gentle," she mouthed back silently.

"Why is it any of your business Mr Morningstar? My deepest desires? Are you for real?"

"I take it you don't feel enticed to share?" Lucifer asked.

"Oh god, Chloe! Good looking, arrogant and self absorbed. Can you please stop falling for the same combo all over again? And for your information, Morningstar, don't you dare Penelope me again without my permission. "

"Yes Ma'am," a subdued Lucifer nodded.

"Granny, Lucifer!" Trixie cannonballed into the kitchen, and hugged Lucifer's waist with obvious glee. "How did you know it was my birthday?" she asked, eying the presents.

"How could I not? You're my favourite little human." With that, he patted her awkwardly on the head.

"I am?"

"Isn't she a bit young for you?" Penelope quipped.

"Mom, please, I'm actually quite fond of Lucifer," Chloe said. Lucifer's eyebrows quirked in puzzlement.

"Are you now?" Penelope smirked. "The little brat as well it seems. It's settled then, Lucifer stays. Let me guess, do you expect more losers? If so, I'd have to fetch some liquid courage at the next store."

"Mom, seriously, it's not even eight!"

"Kidding. Fifty four months sober and counting. Don't worry, I promise I'll behave in front of the children. So, losers?"

"Dan can't make it," Chloe sighed. "He's busy with… with work. He'll make it up to Trixie next week."

"Of course he will. Now let's make sure Mr Morningstar's presence count."

"I am entirely at your service, Madam," Lucifer bowed again.

"In this case, Lucifer, I feel I'm on the path to redemption."

"I don't like the sound of it," Chloe frowned.

"Well, isn't it obvious? Beatrice just got herself a clown you both like already. You won't deny Lucifer is perfect for the task and you know what they say, Chloe, better the devil you know. Come on Beatrice, let's have some breakfast."

Note: I thought I'll introduce Penelope Decker. She clearly deserves it.