To my Star Wars geek anon (to be read in a playfully teasing voice). First of all, Luke's wife was not Callista Craycomputer. It was the bad ass Mara Jade. Thou shalt not profane the name of Mara Jade by calling her creepy Callista. Bah!
But the answer to your question is that the team who began the Star Wars franchise anew specifically stated that they washed their hands of the EU (expanded universe). Believe me. No one was more upset than I was. I fully intend to name my daughter Jaina (If/when I have one).
When I watched Ep 7, and I could see Han was about to call his son's name, I was chanting "Jacen, Jacen, Jacen," in my head. I didn't mind Ep 7 for the most part, but I still think the dumbest thing was them naming Kylo Ben. Leia and Han had nothing to do with Ben. They didn't know him. There's no reason they couldn't have at least used the name—an homage to the EU fans who lost so many great characters. I still call him Jacen if I don't call him Kylo. And I so wanted Rey to be Han and Leia's. Sigh. I miss Jaina.
I'm still naming my kid Jaina.
The baby in the bassinet next to them began to whimper, and Edward and Bella groaned. Then, Bella giggled. It was an exhausted, punch-drunk kind of giggle. They were both so tired. She turned her head toward him and grinned. "Looks like two people in this house need a diaper change."
Edward cocked his head, listening to his son. "Is that his needs-changed cry?"
"How the hell should I know?" Bella tittered again. "I don't know him that well. I only met him two days ago."
A grin pulled at the corners of Edward's mouth. That wide smile that hurt his face. He reached out and took Bella's hand, squeezing it tightly. She grinned back at him—tired but happy. They were parents.
They were parents with a gorgeous son whose cries were quickly escalating from whimpers to 'where the fuck are you guys? Worst. Parents. Ever.'
"Right. You take care of whatever's happening down there." He made a vague gesture at his wife's nether regions. "And I'll take the small one."
"You mean you don't want to change my diaper?" She pouted.
He rolled over and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "I would, but the doctor said no kinky business for at least six weeks, remember?"
"Oh, right. And I did swear you'd never touch me again."
"There was also that."
"Go attend to the child."
He kissed her once more and rolled out of bed, hurrying to her side of the bed where their son lay in his bassinet. "Hey, Seb," he said softly, cupping his son's head carefully as he lifted him up. "Daddy's right here. Settle down."
Sebastian wasn't inclined. He waved his tiny fists in fury as Edward laid him down on a blanket on the bed. He kept up while he was wiped and changed. Bella ambled over at that point, sitting on the bed next to Edward and resting her head on his shoulder. "Shhh," she murmured around a yawn, patting the baby's belly.
Meanwhile, Edward snapped his son into a fresh onesie. "This one is much more appropriate." The onesie had a stormtrooper on it with the words Daddy's Storm Pooper. Bella snorted lightly in his ear.
By that time, Sebastian had quieted at least a little. He still fussed, unhappy even as Edward held him close and rubbed his back.
Bella yawned again, bringing her hand up to stroke the baby's downy scalp. "Come on, kiddo. You know you're cranky because you're so tired. There's no reason to fight it. You're literally incapable of focusing your eyes, so I know you're not staying up to binge watch on Netflix. You got tiny little hands, so you can't claim it's a late night gaming session if you can't reach the keys. Sleep now while life is boring."
"You think his life is boring?"
"Eat, sleep, and poop. And it's not even like he's getting a gourmet meal." Bella straightened up, touching a hand to her breast. "This stuff really only comes in one flavor."
"Hmm. Have you tried eating pineapple?"
She smacked his leg. "Ow," he complained. "Seb, Mommy's being violent in front of you."
"There's a Nazi-inspired merchant of death on his shirt. You know that, right?" Bella yawned again.
Edward kissed her cheek. "Go to bed," he said, standing up with his son safe in his arms.
"Where are you going?"
"To the living room to binge watch Netflix and/or subject him to a movie about a small terrorist cell sabotaging government property and murdering thousands."
"Edward Cullen, if you show him Star Wars for the first time without me, I will kill you in your sleep."
"He can't see anything. And he doesn't understand English."
"Death. By lightsaber."
"You know lightsabers don't work, right? Not outside the Star Wars realm." He backed out of the room.
"I'll beat you to death with it. That'll work well enough."
"I promise, this is your mother's way of showing she loves me." He patted the baby's back consolingly. "You're delirious," he called over his shoulder to his wife. "Go back to bed. This is all a dream."
He heard her grumble, but she didn't follow him. Poor love. Sebastian's birth hadn't been easy.
Edward carried his whimpering baby boy into the living room and settled with him in the rocking chair. He pulled the legs up and laid the baby across his knees, content to stare at him. He wasn't over the awe of it yet. He was this boy's father. How had that happened?
Sebastian had stopped fussing, but he wasn't asleep. Edward tried to find familiar features in his son's face. Mostly, he couldn't see himself, though he thought perhaps Bella was right about his nose. He could see the similarity. His nose.
His father's nose.
Edward didn't really remember his parents. His biological parents. They were blurry around the edges of his memory. It was strange to wonder if his own father had done this very thing; if he had stared at baby Edward, looking for himself and his mother.
Stranger still to consider that his father must have wondered, like Edward did now, about what his son's life would be like. He sighed, a strange melancholy settling over him.
"What if, Seb. What if." What if, when his son had a child, he'd be in a whole different family?
Edward shook his head, and worked his finger into his son's hot little palm. He smiled as Sebastian flexed around him. "So, this is your life, little boy. I can't tell you where you'll end up, but I can let you know more about what you've gotten yourself into. I guess this is your first bedtime story, isn't it? In the comic book world, we'd call this your origin story. "
He lifted the baby into the crook of his arm and settled back, beginning to rock." You were born to a fallen cop and a beautiful, brilliant free spirit." Edward smiled. He did see Bella in the shape of his son's lips and the wisps of brown hair on his head. "Your mother, little guy. I can already tell you she's going to be the one with the pearls of wisdom." His lip twitched. "Granted, they might all be quotes, but she knows how to break it all down. Did you know she assaulted me not even a minute after we met? Of course, you didn't know that. Everything is new to you."
Sebastian blinked, rolling his lips and making baby noises. Edward took that as a sign of approval and continued. "Here's the possibly tragic part about your backstory. See, Mommy and I are quasi-celebrities. It's Mommy's fault. Well…" Edward grimaced. He and Bella had many arguments about this subject during her pregnancy. "I guess it's my fault for running into a collapsing building. But we're maybe just a little bit famous. Nothing crazy, but we have a fanbase and best-selling books. That kind of thing.
"I'd say it's not what I wanted, and it isn't. But I became a cop to help messed up kids like me. Don't know if I've mentioned that. Your daddy was this close to not having any of this because I was a screwed-up kid." Edward cleared his throat. "Anyway. As it turns out, I was able to help a whole lot more people after I got myself benched. I started a charity, and that, plus your mother's witty, nerdy as heck videos, means we kind of keep a spotlight on ourselves. Not my intention, but you know what they say about life.
"It doesn't have to mean anything horrible for you. It makes me nervous—the idea of sharing you with the world. Some people have an unhealthy obsession with us as it is, and it only takes one." Edward shook his head and forced himself to take a calming breath. He didn't want his son to pick up on the anxiety he felt sometimes at being so damn accessible. "But Mommy made a good point. Everyone already knows we had a baby. They're going to obsess about you anyway, and I don't want you to be afraid of going to events with us. So, probably you're going to make your small-screen debut in a day or two.
"If it turns out attention isn't your thing, don't worry. There are some great perks. Do you know how many nerdy onesies we own?" Edward whistled and smiled. The baby's eyelids were starting to droop. "Your uncle Emmett said he bets you're not going to be a nerd. He says you're going to be as straight-laced as they come and wonder how you ended up with such geeky parents. Maybe that's true. But until you're old enough to fight back, your clothes are going to kick some major ass. And don't even get me started about what your mother has planned for Comic Con."
Unconcerned, Sebastian had drifted to sleep. Edward rocked a while in silence, just staring again. After some minutes of this he stood and went back to his room. He settled the baby carefully on the bed in between himself and his sleeping wife. He didn't intend to go to sleep. He just wanted to look at his peaceful little family for a while longer.
It only took a minute more before Leah jumped onto the bed and curled up on his hip. He had no idea how that could possibly be comfortable. Not to be left out, Jake jumped up on the bed too. He came over, sniffed the baby, huffed his approval at Edward's diaper changing abilities, and curled up at his little master's feet.
Chuckling, Edward spared a pet for both the dog and the cat before he rested his hand on Bella's waist.
~6 Months Later~
"I can't believe you did this."
Bella quirked an eyebrow at her husband. "Excuse me? We've been together for an adequately long time now. How does this surprise you?"
Edward chuckled as he got their still-asleep child out of his carseat and settled him in his stroller. "I suppose you have a point there. It's just that you had to go through a lot of trouble to dress a baby as the Winter Soldier. It's not like it's a common costume."
"Hello? Your child is named after the Winter Soldier, and Captain America is out in DCA. How is this not a prerequisite for his first Disney trip?"
"Most parents want the first pic with Mickey."
Bella waved a hand. "Screw Mickey. The smartest thing Disney did was acquire Marvel and Star Wars. Our must-have photo ops today will be a Stucky pic and a Darth Vader pic. The latter preferably when Seb is beet red and crying."
Edward looked at her with a horrified expression. She stared back innocently. "What? Come on. We can have Vader pretend to be Force-choking him."
"Don't worry, kiddo," Edward said to his son. "I've got your back. I'll keep you safe from the sadistic Dark Lord your mother wants to subject you to."
"Vader wasn't a sadist. "
"He likes choking people. I think I've seen that porno."
"Now who's the crappy parent? Talking about porn in Disneyland."
By the time they go through security, got on and off the tram and made their way to the main gates, Sebastian was awake. They switched the stroller so he was sitting up, and watched him as he stared around at all the people and chaos. He craned his head, looking up at her. "Gah!" he exclaimed.
"Yes. Gah indeed," Bella agreed. She snapped a picture of him with that caption and sent it out on Instagram. Their viewers were dying to know how baby's first Disney visit went.
In another minute, Seb was festooned with buttons—First Visit and I'm Celebrating. He gurgled and poked at them with his tiny fingers, fascinated as they wheeled through California Adventures.
After a brief argument—mostly to get revenge for his snark—Bella insisted Edward be the one to take Sebastian up to meet Captain America. The woman beside her in line snickered at the sight. "I've read this fic."
"What?" Bella asked, not sure if she heard right.
The woman blushed and pointed between Captain America and the Winter Soldier baby. "Fanfic between them is a thing."
Bella grinned. "That's why this picture is happening."
The woman's eyes brightened. "And have you read de-aged fic? Like when one of them gets hit by some kind of prototype weapon and turns back into a kid that the other has to take care of until they can figure out how to fix it?"
"Yes!" Bella laughed. "Though I prefer de-aged Destiel to Stucky."
They were still chatting, heads bent together, when Edward came back with the baby. Edward stopped short, staring warily. "You found a geek."
"Yes. In a Starbucks in a galaxy far, far away." She flashed him a cheeky grin as she took her son from him.
"Or Los Angeles. You know. One of the two."
The stranger gasped. "Oh my God. I thought you looked familiar. I know you!"
Some minutes later, they'd bid goodbye to their fan and headed down to the wharf for a meal. Bella stayed with the baby while Edward got Mexican, and he stayed with the baby while she got Chinese.
When she got back to the table, Edward was staring across the way at something. She followed his gaze, spotting a ragtag group of kids being herded out toward the main park by a harried-looking pair of adults.
"What's wrong?" she asked, turning back to Edward.
"Nothing. Well…" He nodded in the direction of the group. "They're orphans. Or at least, that one is." He pointed to a dark-haired little girl, scowling as one of the adults adjusted his grip on her wrist.
Bella's lips tugged downward. "An ornery orphan?" she guessed. It wouldn't be the first time Edward saw himself in an angry child.
"Yeah. She was doing her damndest to pretend she didn't want to be here." He sighed and looked Bella right in the eyes. He rested his hand palm up on the table between them. His smile returned when she put her hand in his, and he squeezed her fingers. "I've been meaning to ask you something."
"We don't want Seb to be an only child, right?"
Bella smiled. She thought she knew where this was going. "Right. Two kids."
"I know now isn't the time, but what would you think about adopting? When we're ready, I mean."
"Adopting an ornery orphan?"
Edward shrugged. "There are a lot of kids in the foster system. A lot of kids who need parents. I could love a kid who wasn't mine biologically. Like my mom and dad."
Bella got up. She went to his side of the table and squeezed him tightly to her. "I say we do it. I know it's old news now, but I've always wanted to go to Comic Con dressed as Daenerys with my kids dressed as dragons."
He snorted, wrapping an arm around her waist as he grinned at her. "Mother of dragons?"
"Exactly. And we do need more than one. Mother of dragon doesn't sound nearly as cool."
"So we'll do it for the cosplaying."
She nodded and then kissed his lips. "And because I love you." She kissed him again. "And I love seeing you as a father." And again. "And okay more kids does equal more cosplaying capabilities. Come on."
He laughed, taking her face between his hands. "You're such a geek." His expression turned tender. "I love you."
A/N: Many thanks to my Facebook group for being a constant source of inspiration for this fic. I took several ideas from the group over the course of this fic. I'm sorry I'm not organized enough to thank everyone by name. It was a collaborative effort.
Thank you to Mina, Betsy, Eleanor, Packy, MoH, and Julie for all their help as always. I have such a great team of amazing people with me.
Thank YOU, reader for being so patient and kind. I'm glad you enjoyed this extraordinarily nerdy foray.
Yes this is the end, although I'm sure if the nerdy itch ever needs to be scratched…