Chapter Two: What to do to a naughty squirrel?
"Like oh my god you could have at least like called me or something honey." The grey Chipmunk started in with the whole lecture about how Conker had once again been irresponsible staying out all night while, she sat at home fuming and wishing they would do something together like the good old days when they were younger. "You know Conker I love being a bit wild myself but honestly this is ridiculous! How am I supposed to know whether you were really at that pub or god forbid getting mugged and beaten up in an alley somewhere?" Sadly she was not even halfway through her lecture when her idiotic boyfriend decided to heave last night's adventure all over her floor. Meanwhile the red squirrel was trying to look pitiful and sorry but it was not easy seeing as how not only he smelled like the lockup of a drunk tank but now, had dug himself deeper into a relationship hole any further and he just might drill into the lava and burn up with his love never forgiving him again.
"Listen sweetheart" deciding that he should make an attempt to sweet talk even though his stomach was as sturdy as a wet cardboard box since it felt like any attempt to even breathe would cause another upset. "I know things are not the way we pictured it but we can still make this work out. Who cares about our flaws or what my friends said at the bar about us ending in tragedy all we need to d-"The squirrel suddenly had a panicked look on his face and rushed to the bathroom where he deposited the last of his drinking game with friends of the previous night. Once he was done "worshiping" the porcelain a shudder ran through his body and he passed out still covered in filth and unaware of how far into trouble he had gotten himself into.
Berri found him slumbering like a toddler who had decided to make mud pies all day while gorging on sweets. She winced noticing the odor coming from the toilet hitting her nostrils combined with the sour aroma of the now soiled floor. Still she could not help but smile in a mischievous way thinking of all the ways she could get back at him for the amount of work she was now going to have to perform. "Hmm" She mused "I could get some makeup and give him a work over like I did last time the guys at the pub kept giving him grief for it about six months." She shook her head remembering how not only was he not ashamed but even joked around as if nothing had happened. "I could get a bucket of ice cold water and dump it on him demanding he clean up this mess." Instant no as she remembered how bad he scratched the countertop and that mysterious stain in her favorite rug the last time she put him on kitchen duty for punishment. "I could hide his wallet and try to keep him from going." Yeah fat chance he just gave her the sad eyes and acted all charming towards her until she relented. I guess taking a minute to think about an appropriate revenge is better. Besides knowing him he will be out for almost two days unless someone tries waking him up plenty of time to plan. Berri headed to her room as the petulant odors started making her light-headed. She slowly crawled onto her bed and passed out no time to do anything else.
A/N: Hi all me again not really going to make excuses to why I was gone so long just know that I procrastinate a lot. Being a little sluggish and lazy does not help matters either but to make it up to you all I will be working on the third chapter right away. Anyways hope all who read this enjoy if I can make you interested even for a little bit then a job well done!