It's been a long time since I updated this but writing Spaleb just made me sad about how the show fucked them up. I'm considering this getting over the hurdle. I miss them tons & if PLL couldn't give them happy endings I can.
"Spence," Caleb calls out as he walks through the front door of her apartment, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it onto the sofa, "tell me you have something to drink. My train was delayed and now it's a damn blizzard out there and my car is gonna end up needing to be shoveled out in the morning but I don't care. I'm so tired."
Spencer rolls her eyes as he goes on, a smile gracing her lips. He doesn't complain often. She can likely count the times he has on her hand, but as she leans over the counter in the kitchen watching him she finds it amusing. He's been gone for the better part of the week and she's lying if she says she hasn't missed him, but part of her doesn't care either, not when he's a staple in her life. "I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow."
"I took the last train out." He shrugs, leaning himself opposite of her. "Can't have you missing me too much."
"I didn't miss you at all."
"Now I'm hurt." He says with a smile of his own. "Where is, uh, James? Jake? Justin? I can't remember."
She thinks he does that on purpose but only shrugs. "Josh. We ended things."
"Oh." He says softly. "Sorry."
"You're not. You hated him. Plus, it wasn't serious."
"I didn't hate him."
"Uh huh." She thinks he's lying but doesn't push it. It doesn't matter. "So," she taps against the tin that's in front of her before opening it, "I could get you drunk and listen to you tell me awful stories or," she glances up at him, biting down on her lower lip, "we could get high."
"You know," he lets out something of a breathless laugh, "out of all of the people I've ever met I can't believe it's Spencer Hastings who likes to get high."
"Spencer Hastings is uptight and tense at all times. Is that a yes?"
"Where did you get that?"
"I know someone." Just how she knows that someone isn't really all that important. Her connections in D.C. are a little odd at times. "This time it's not someone who works in Ezra's coffee shop."
Spencer nods as she walks over and sits opposite of him. "How'd your meeting go?"
"You're not very forthcoming." Spencer notes as she lights the joint, keeping her eye on Caleb. "So, what aren't you telling me?"
"Nothing." It's a lie just by the way he avoids her gaze. "I ran into Hanna."
"Ah." Suddenly it makes sense and she doesn't even pretend that the smoke filling her lungs won't help with the mention of Hanna. She's an elephant of so many almosts. It sounds like she resents her. She doesn't. She loves Hanna. It's just so odd how close she is with Caleb and Hanna is just someone she's shared so much with. It's true for Aria and Emily, too. From seeing each other every day to texting when they have the time. "How'd that go?"
"Fine." He takes the offered joint from her. "Jordan is nice. Everything she's wanted. She seems...happy."
"You know what would help? If you actually met someone new. Hanna's engaged. Toby is dating Yvonne. I got dumped for some girl from Brazil. You might be our only hope."
"Yeah, you're just gonna end up a spinster. Want a cat?"
"Hey," she laughs, stealing it back from him. "I'm sharing quality weed with you right now."
"You share everything with me."
"It's called being a good friend."
"The best." It's as genuine as he gets, certainly with the soft look on his face as he glances over at her.
Spencer sits herself up on her knees after a moment, moving to close the last of any distance between them. "I'm glad you're here, Caleb."
"Me too." He whispers tucking her hair behind her ear. "Those guys don't know what they're missing."
Spencer thinks they don't matter. None of them. She should, probably. Think about how Toby and Caleb are best friends. How she and Hanna are best friends. Were is something she thinks is more accurate with how much time has gone by. She hasn't actually seen Hanna since before she went to Spain, before Caleb, who is now living in the same city as her, because of her. "Open your mouth."
"Just do it." She commands in a way that even the weed can't manage to rid certain aspects of her away. He complies as his hand drops away from her head and she leans forward, blowing the inhaled smoke into his mouth. She's barely thinking as he grabs her and yanks her so she's straddling him. It's all such a bad idea but it's hard to think of proper self control when she can't think properly at all. He's good. Warm and comfortable. She knows him better than she knows herself some days and only wants to continue to get to know him.
"Ever do this with Josh?"
She lets out a laugh, running her own hand through his hair. "He was too serious, too work orientated, too much into the next bill, which it's fine. I'm just tired of being chained to everything. I want to live life."
"So, you scored some pot and wanted to get high? Alone?"
"I quit my job." She admits, not sure she can keep it from him anymore "I'm tired of getting people coffee, which is totally the snobby rich girl in me talking but I don't care. That's what I realized today. There's so little I care about and I'm sure my therapist is ready to tell me I'm some depressed psycho who needs to be all drugged up to be happy, but maybe some life change is all I need. I don't know. The worst that happens is that I get a new job."
"What kind of life change?" It's his turn to fill his lungs with the smoke, pulling her forward, lips touching as the smokes fills her.
"I don't know." She breathes as she looks down at him, finding it harder to keep up the conversation without thinking of less pure things to do to him. "Be like Melissa. I never have any idea what she actually does other than make my parents proud just for breathing."
"They're proud of you."
"She's engaged to Wren again. They hate him but it's still like the best news they've heard in forever. They probably like you more than me."
"You're too uptight for this." He smiles, still handing the burning joint to her, "I don't think this is working."
"I'm just that uptight and frustrated."
"You're not, not lately." He only moves closer to her, so their lips are near touching, yet, not taking the leap to cross the invisible line between them. "Uptight, I mean. You kind of look like you're about to claw out of your own skin."
"I am." She admits carefully, Caleb stealing all of her attention. What little focus she has is spent staring at him, thinking, wondering about things she shouldn't be wondering. She only takes a hit to distract herself from him, how she's straddling him and how her shirt is riding higher, how he's so Caleb beneath her. Whatever that actually means. "The frustration is a little harder to get rid of. I tried with...Josh."
Caleb swallows, his hand resting on her thigh, not daring to take his gaze off of her. "Your sexual frustration."
"Yeah." Her word is breathed out softly, barely audible, feeling her body hit with an arousal she's desperate to rid herself of. She feels on all the time. She is on all of the time. She knows why. The man below her is why and she hates herself for it. Hates that he means something to Hanna and she can't cross the boundary. Her subconscious knows that the weed is necessary to broach the topic. It's not as if she means to, even. They were just supposed to get high and laugh. They've done it before. Sat, talked, laughed. Had fun in the company of other another, but the way he tugged her on his lap just shifted her. "We shouldn't talk about this."
"We talk about everything."
"I know...I just."
"What?" Caleb questions as his free hand moves to her hip, fingers against her exposed skin.
She doesn't reply as she pulls away from him just enough. Her eyes are on him as she takes the last drag and she fills with smoke. It's interesting the way his eyes watch her every move. Until her lips are on his, the smoke moving from her to him, nothing interests her in breaking apart. She feels good as if it suddenly just hits her in a true wave that hadn't before. She's calm and happy in a way that is artificial but that's fine with her. At least for the time being. When she attempts to move back, however, he steadies her there, gripping her shirt, making it near impossible for her to move. She knows if she wants to move he'll let her go. It's just that she doesn't. She wants to be there, too close, toeing a line they both shouldn't.
"They've both moved on," he whispers against her lips, "maybe we should, too."
"We're not thinking clearly."
"We've exercised more self control than you're giving either of us credit for."
It's true. So true she's just staring at his lips and thinking about how much she wants to kiss him. She's wanted to kiss him for a while. Thought so highly of him before anything changed. Her mind is fuzzy, though. In a way where she can't properly entertain the risk and reward. The reward is she doesn't feel like she's about to burst out of her own skin, but the risk is...it's too great. "Caleb."
"We should control ourselves."
"If I'm going to control myself you have to get off me."
Spencer doesn't move, unable to move, as if she's suddenly glued to him. "When did you get hot?" She whispers to herself more than him. "When did I become the biggest slut who can't find a guy of her own?"
"I'm not dating Hanna."
"I know, I just…" She only pauses for a moment, trying to collect thoughts that are just escaping her, "I want to fuck you. That's what makes me so...I'm finding it hard to care, impossible. I just wanna…" She doesn't say anything more as she kisses him in ways she's thought about for too long. One night, right? She can give herself one night. She'll judge herself in the morning or later when the high runs out.
He kisses her back and instantly moves to unbutton her shirt, pushing it off of her shoulders. Spencer only parts when she needs to tug his shirt off of his head and finds her lips against his, the kiss so much more than she ever imagines it can be. It's different with him than with the others. The others satisfy a need in the moment but he's there to satisfy something that exists inside of her almost constantly.
No, she needs to think. One hand rests on his chest as if she needs the created inches to stop herself. "We're doing this?"
"If you want me to stop…" Caleb whispers, looking at her, a raw desire in his gaze.
"No, don't stop." Her body answers for her as she rocks against him and feels that rush inside of her. She needs him, wants him, and can feel him hard beneath her. For as many times as she's thought about this the couch seems to be the place she shouldn't but she doesn't bother herself with it. Just lets herself feel. Feeling is good, great even. Makes her ache and pulse in ways that only thoughts of him brought. She won't admit to just how often she's thought of this, here, with him, his hands everywhere, his lips along her skin. It's so much more than she's able to process.
Spencer breaks from him in a way that makes her rush to get her jeans off before she's on his lap. There's a sense of urgency. Almost as if they'll chicken out if they don't push through. It's not true. Not when she takes a moment to just look at him. She's seen him without his shirt before but it's different with how heavy his breath is. His jeans are usually tight but they are tighter with how hard he is. She doesn't kiss him again, not yet, not as she pops open the button of his jeans and pulls him free from the confines.
Her eyes lock on his as she strokes him. There's almost a sense that she's daydreaming over it being any kind of reality. She had a few too many fantasies playing in her head prior, but now, now it's a reality and he feels so nice in her hand. Her bra slips to the floor and his mouth finds her chest. Kissing and sucking at her pale skin in a way she knows she'll be marked tomorrow. It only manages to make her wetter.
When his hand slips between her legs she wonders why she left anything on at all. It's not enough the way he palms at her and she's entirely certain her panties are ruined anyway. She only grinds down against his hand with a desperation, her own hand making a working of him that she's almost worried she'll hurt him. The moan that seeps from him is enough to prove she isn't.
"I need you." It's matter of fact as her teeth sink deeper into her lower lip. "Don't tease me."
Caleb smirks, only putting a firmer pressure against her. "I'm sorry. What was that?"
A huff falls from her mouth as she lets go of him. If he's going to be difficult she can just let him suffer. Letting him suffer leads to her suffering but the pure desperation doesn't lead to her doing much thinking. "Fuck me, Caleb. Before I find someone else."
"You won't." It comes out in his own matter of fact tone but he doesn't bother to test the waters anymore.
The lace fabric is moved aside just enough for him to slide inside of her. It's better than good as she simply relishes in the feeling. He hasn't even lost all his clothes and she knows the freedom would be better if they both did, but it doesn't matter. Not as she moves near instantly, taking what she's desired for so long. He's nearly unreal inside of her. A pulsing she's only managing to feel more of. As if the drugs in her system are making her feel everything differently. They are. There's probably some dumb study she's read up on trying to validate her thoughts but it's only Caleb that manages to keep her attention.
She's slow at first, just letting them feel it, watching him as she moves. It's more intense with the way his eyes pierce through her like they are playing some sort of game. They are, she supposed. She's used to the games but it's different. Different as she leans herself against him a little more, wrapping her arm around his neck, and finding a new speed that makes it impossible for her to stay quiet.
His hand threads through her hair so tightly it almost hurts. It doesn't, just almost. All it does is spur her on as she sucks at his neck and lets the sounds of them fill the room. She's too tightly wound most of the time that there's a freeing sense in being with him. Caleb offering her something no one else can. His hands feel as if they are everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. Gripping her and exploring. She wants to explore. Thinks about all the places her hands and mouth can be. Later, a promise to herself more than a suggestion.
"We should have done this long ago." Caleb whispers into her ear as she kisses along her jawline. His arm snakes around her and just holds her there, nearly keeping her from moving, as his thrusts become the thing giving them both pleasure.
"Mmm." There's soft hum that comes as she bites at his neck, marking him for her own pleasure. "Let's make up for lost time."
They only manage to get sloppier as they move together. The control they start out with is slowly gone and she's a mess. There's no other way to put it. She feels almost too wet if that's even humanly possible in this situation. He's gripping at her in ways she's close to begging him to just leave his mark. There's something primal in all of it, like they are just fucking. Pure and simple. They are even as she knows Caleb is more than some guy she's horny for. He's something, everything in a way, he's just Caleb. A guy she trusts and wants and needs wrapped up into someone that's so much more than just a guy who knows what he's going.
Does he know what he's doing.
Her body is on fire and she's practically quivering in his arms as she feels the build up. She finds his mouth suddenly, gripping his arm with her hands, nails digging into his skin as she attempts to regain some kind of control back. It's push and pull. As if there is some war moving between them. She likes it. It's different. She trusts him more than she trusts anyone else.
There's no warning she gives him before she comes, losing any sense of control. She's just lost against his mouth as a moan louder than anything she's spoken all night slips out in waves. She's shaking and only grips at him harder. He's the only thing managing to keep her steady.
He explodes in her near immediately. It feels like the part she's been wanting, like that was the thing that solidifies it's more than just random movements her brain is still attempting to register.
She doesn't dare move from him, only falls into him more, both her arms wrapping around him as a far more gentle kiss is pressed into his neck. "Stay the night." It's almost a silly request given he already said he would, but there's a shift between them. It's different now and she wants to cling onto that.
He kisses her on the side of her, letting his lips linger. "I'll stay."