A Demonic Infatuation
Chapter Seven: It's Now or Never!
Written By: Amanda/Artiste/Agent Di
The lotus blossom swirling in the bowel of water was slowly losing its petals. With each part of the flower that fell into the small enchanted pool, the demons lost another half hour or so on Earth. And the petals were started to rapidly accumulate in the purified liquid.
We are running out of time!Hsi Wu panicked while chasing after Paco in his ridiculous wrestling mask. Once the last of those petals falls my demon brethren will be sent back into the Void and our wedding will be ruined! Grr...this PACO imbecile won't live long enough to halt the wedding plans!
"Heh, this sky demon man is playing right into my hands." Paco told himself, "Don't worry Jade, I won't let this monster force you to marry him. Not when it's clear that your heart already belongs to another man."
"What are you talking about you sniveling little worm?!" Hsi Wu demanded.
Jade burst out of the chapel and stormed down the stairs to find her husband-to-be chasing down that annoying childhood acquaintance of hers, Paco. Smirking Jade wondered for a moment if it would serve the little meddler right to just allow Hsi Wu to trounce him, he was gaining on the little twerp after all. But no...a glance down at the wilting lotus blossom informed her that they didn't have much time. If we don't hurry and get this wedding over and done with...we won't have a chance to retry. It's now or never!
Lifting the front of her dress a few inches off the ground--so as not to get it dirty or trip over it--Jade made her way to the front of the parking lot to intercept Paco and Hsi Wu before they could run another circle around the chapel.
Paco tossed a look over his shoulder and noticed that Hsi Wu was right at his heels. The creature hissed and bared fangs while his clawed hands stretched forth to grab the oddly attired man. "You will pay for your idiotic interruption mortal!" Hsi Wu seethed with flashing red eyes.
"Ha! I am Paco, apprentice to the great El Toro! No man or beast alive can defeat me in a fair fight!"
"Who said anything about fighting fair?!" the Sky Demon was about to leap upon the guy in the weird Halloween getup when he spotted his fiancée up just ahead. And if looks could kill...
Jade's arms were pressed firmly against her hips, her lips were pursed, and her eyes were narrowed.
Both males stopped dead in their tracks, "J-Jade." Paco smiled sheepishly, "Never fear my love, for I shall destroy the demon and save you from a forced marriage!"
Jade cocked an eyebrow, "Paco-"
"And then I shall whisk you away and take you back with me to my village where we may live happily ever after in simple heroic bliss!" Paco wasn't one who knew when to shut up.
"Uh Paco-" Jade felt her blood pressure rising.
But the not-so-famous wrestler wasn't finished with his overly rehearsed speech yet, "Yes dearest Jade, with you by my side all of the world will tremble before the mighty strength (and charms) of that mysterious wrestler who never removes his mask---EL PACO!!!"
I'm not hearing this.Jade massaged her forehead, "Really Paco-"
"And not only that but-" Paco was silenced when a gray claw clamped his mouth shut from behind.
"LET HER SPEAK, TACO!" Hsi Wu ordered.
"Paco!" came the wrestler's muffled reply.
Taking advantage of the irritating man's position Jade finally got a word in edgewise. "You know something Paco? I thought that nobody could be a bigger windbag than Xiao Fung but boy oh boy did you EVER prove me WRONG!! I mean, just who the heck do you think you are barging in on my wedding like that?! Have I ever been the kind of girl who WANTED to be rescued? Did I ever MENTION that I wanted some white night or a clown in a hand-me-down wrestling mask to come whisk me away?! NO!!!" Jade was furious now and held nothing back (and man did it feel good!). "Get this through your head TACO BOY, I don't need you here. I LOVE Hsi Wu and HE loves ME! WE'RE getting married and you---YOU are going to climb back into whatever bus you got here by and YOU'RE going home!"
A snickering demon released the seemingly stunned wrestler from his silencing grasp. "It was nice meeting you...Taco."
Paco stood there unmoving for a moment before shifting his gaze from the infuriated Jade to the smirking half-transformed demon and back again. Then a look of misconceived comprehension washed over him and he spoke in an amused tone, "Oh Jade, you do not have to worry about protecting me from you captor with such lies and false declarations. For I shall vanquish this creature and you'll no longer feel obligated to do as he bids you."
Now it was Jade and Hsi Wu who exchanged looks of outright confusion. "Is this fool touched in the head?" the demon questioned.
Jade's confusion changed into full blown ire and Hsi Wu backed away as she drew a clenched fist into the air and sent it sailing right into Taco Boy's smug face.
Paco was knocked backwards--literally head over heels--onto the pavement. Rubbing his jaw he sat up on his elbows, "Jade, I don't get it. Have you been brainwashed??"
"URGH!!!" Jade screamed and proceeded to beat the crap out of the dense meddler.
After a few moments of watching with rising glee Hsi Wu observed that the lotus blossom was quickly wilting out of sight. "Jade my love," he returned to his full human form and wrapped both arms around his fiancée's waist to pry her off the battered wrestler, "as amusing as I find this display, we really must be getting back to our wedding."
Jade's fury was checked and her mind returned to the present ceremony, "Oh crap! The wedding!! C'mon Hsi, we've gotta get back in there before our families rip each other apart!"
The Sky Demon and his lover raced back up the chapel's stairs. Just before dashing through the double doors Jade spun around and shot Paco a warning glance, "AND YOU'RE NOT INVITED!!!"
Paco stared at the disappearing couple through his left eye while rubbing the black eye (on his right) that he'd received from Jade. Apparently his childhood crush didn't reciprocate his feelings. And in Paco's aching mind that could only mean one thing..."Yep," he declared, "she's definitely been brainwashed."
But I'm probably a lot safer this way...he thought as the remaining shred of his mask fell from his black and blue face.
At long last the ceremony was complete and Hsi Wu and his beloved Jade were pronounced man--ur--demon and wife. And thankfully, there were just enough petals left on the lotus blossom to last the other demons through the reception.
"Care for some punch?" Captain Black teased the immobile Shendu.
"One day I will escape these retched confines mortal," the dragon demon vowed, "and then I shall DESTROY you all!"
"Just like ya did last time huh?" the agent snickered.
"Congratulations honey," Jade's mother threw her arms around her grown-up daughter. "I'm so happy for you...and uh...your husband."
"That's right pumpkin," Jade's father hesitantly patted the disguised Hsi Wu on the shoulder, "why I'll bet I'll be the only guy at the office who can say he has a demon as a son-in-law!"
Jade was relieved to see that Hsi Wu took the remark as a compliment. "Thank you, Dad. I would be most honored to be bragged of so. And Mom-" Hsi Wu wrapped an arm around the shoulders of Jade's flinching mother, "I shall make it a point to visit you both in Hong Kong as often as possible."
"Oh dear," Jade's mother forced a smile, "don't trouble yourself sweetie."
Jade giggled to herself, she could tell that it would take drastic measures to make her mother comfortable around her new son-in-law. And Hsi's not even in his demon form now.
"Well Jade darling," Hsi Wu turned to his bride and motioned for her to take his arm, "we should really be getting on with our honeymoon now."
Jade nodded and allowed him to lead her outside.
Jackie and Tohru sat at one of the long tables across from Tso Lan and Bai Tsa. "Looks like it is about time to throw the rice." Jackie muttered.
"Humans have such ridiculous customs!" Bai Tsa spat.
"And I think that I shall miss those witty remarks of yours the most once you are back in the Void, Water Demon." Chan scoffed.
Bai Tsa simply hissed at Chan through unveiled fangs.
"Enough," Tso Lan held up a set of his arms, "we are all family now. And we must all come together to wish our newly wedded relatives a happy marriage."
Tohru nodded and got up to follow the Moon Demon outside. Bai Tsa and Jackie took a moment to scowl at one another before rising from their seats, sticking out their tongues, and trailing after the others.
Uncle was outside with Xiao Fung and Po Kong complaining about his jacket. "This jacket is TOO HOT! Uncle shall surly perish out in this heat!! No one cares about the poor chi wizard! Never mind that without MY help half of the guests would still be trapped inside the Void!"
"Oh shut up old man." Xiao Fung growled, "You've only been out here for three minutes!"
Po Kong waved a Chinese fan before her sweaty face, "Heat is not something that a Mountain Demon with big bones can stand for too long."
"Just don't eat the rice before the 'happy couple' makes their grand exit." Xiao Fung growled irritably.
Jade and Hsi Wu slipped their luggage (packed in backpacks) onto their backs and prepared to be bombarded with droves of rice. Hsi Wu's wings burst forth and he shifted back to his demon form while Jade tossed her bouquet and slang her long train over her shoulder.
"Still a tomboy," a familiar voice chuckled causing Jade and spin around and smile, "good luck Jade. Have a nice time." Viper hugged her niece lovingly.
"Thanks Aunt Viper, for everything." Jade suppressed the tears threatening to spill forth from her eyes.
Tchang Zu slapped his little brother heartily on the back, "You've done it you imp! You finally managed to marry the Chan woman you've been fawning over!"
"And you did so without allowing yourself to become too-" Dai Gui cringed, "-affectionate."
"Jade loves me both as Seymour her best friend, and as Hsi Wu the terrifying Sky Demon." Hsi Wu beamed triumphantly.
"Just make sure you keep your wedding night electrifying brother," Tchang Zu hinted, "there's no greater victory than a satisfied mate."
Hsi Wu felt like a typical younger brother receiving embarrassing advice from his older siblings. "Oh, but there's one favor I must ask of all of you," the Sky Demon suddenly recalled the agreement he'd made with a certain mortal earlier.
"And what might that be?" Dai Gui inquired.
"You see that young man over there in the glasses and with that puny goatee?" the bat-winged demon pointed to Drew. "He agreed to be my best man under the condition that he got to meet some real, live demons."
"I see." a wicked gleam flashed in Tchang Zu's eyes.
"Say no more brother, we shall fulfill the mortal's desire." Dai Gui rubbed his hands together maliciously and went to gather up the rest of his siblings.
"Consider it our wedding present to you Hsi Wu." Tchang Zu chuckled.
"Excellent," Hsi Wu gave a toothy, sinister grin, "only---wait until Jade and I have departed---wouldn't want to spill any blood on that pretty white dress of hers."
The Thunder demon complied and stepped aside so that Hsi Wu and Jade could take flight. Lifting her up in his arms the Sky Demon gave his love a wink before kneeling down in preparation of taking flight.
Rice rained down upon the newlyweds, Captain Black having to throw Shendu's of course, and Hsi Wu launched himself up into the wind and soared with his bride up to the Heavens.
"And just what are you so happy about?" Po Kong questioned her uncharacteristically cheerful sister as she approached from behind a blanket of thrown rice.
Removing her hands from behind her back Bai Tsa revealed a red pen, a roll of tape, and a pad of white paper. "I just thought of one more human custom for wedding ceremonies that I didn't want our dear brother to miss out on."
Regarding her sister with a curious stare Po Kong gradually lifted her gaze up towards her departing brother and his wife. She nearly cackled out loud at what she saw dangling off his back, just between his gray, leather wings.
There--plain as day--flapping in the wind, was a large white sign with red lettering that read 'JUST MARRIED!'.
*Hi! This is NOT the end. I repeat, there is MORE to come! Lol, ya don't think I'd leave ya hanging with regards to the wedding night (honeymoon)? Not after all those great reviews anyway. ^_^ Keep the comments/compliments/etc. (except flames) coming!*