If the Wolf Only Knew

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki, JUMP comics and all affiliates.

Author's note: A/U fic- My twisted mind is at it again. The pressures of organizing a Bachelorette Party for my best friend have had my mind in the gutter for a lot longer than it should. Here's the result of too much exposure to Bachelorette Party websites…and an episode of the Golden Girls.


Saitoh Hajime hated to be injured. The Police Department now gave him the most boring assignments because they thought he couldn't handle himself on the field anymore. He isn't as young as he used to be. When he was in the Shinsen-gumi he had the stamina to police the streets if he was sick with pneumonia. But during a recent swordfight with a renegade prison escapee he fell victim to a vicious jab that punctured the flesh of his right side. The wound bore deep enough to cut into his intestines and the prisoner foolishly thought he had won the fight. Foolish indeed. The Gatotsu's Zero stance finished off the escapee but it also sucked out the remainder of the Saitoh Hajime's strength. He had fallen forward feeling his mind black out and the last thing he remembered was the ground coming closer and closer…

After that the Police Department was convinced that Saitoh had lost his edge. Such a powerful sword master had allowed himself to be seriously injured, and they would have not made such a big deal had his opponent been a talented swordsman. But the fact was that the prisoner had never held a sword until the day he escaped; yet he was able to get past the Wolf's defense. This meant one thing to the Department- Mibu's wolf was now a weakened dog.

Saitoh sat quietly in his office, his arms crossed so that his fingers rubbed against the material that covered his scar. The incident occurred three months ago yet he still felt the pain of the blade as it stabbed through him. He sighed heavily, glancing at his empty ashtray.

How could have I allowed my opponent to get so close?

He stared down at his desk so preoccupied with his thoughts that he did not hear the door open, or the sound of footsteps march toward him. One moment he replayed the fight before his eyes. The next moment he saw a piece of paper shoved absently at him. The gesture was obviously done to startle him, but Mibu's Wolf merely shifted his eyes slowly to meet those of his uninvited guest. A young rookie officer stood at the foot of his desk wearing a newly pressed suit and a wry grin. Saitoh suspected that the boy didn't like him. It didn't surprise him since none of the young rookies took particular interest in him. They were pompous and not the least impressed with the reputation he had behind him. Not that he cared for any of their praise. He was just fine with them thinking he was an old timer. The government recruited so many new officers that he doubted they would miss a few who happened to really annoy him. He stared at the young officer expectantly. It took only a few seconds before his amber gaze made the rookie uncomfortable.

"Inspector Fujita, there has been a disturbance near the Shrine in Central Tokyo. The assignment is going to you." He eyed the piece of paper on Saitoh's desk and nodded toward it. "The address is there and the department wants you leave immediately." The young officer turned swiftly and walked out as arrogantly as he had entered. Saitoh gazed calmly out the door of his office and took a few moments to light up a cigarette. As he inhaled deeply he kept his eyes glued to the spot where the officer had been standing.

That kid is too full of himself. Too many of these rookies are. I should pay him a visit before I head out. He put out the cigarette and chuckled lightly in spite of the miserable assignment waiting for him. One less rookie won't do the department any harm at all…

Saitoh heard the commotion before he reached the town square. The shrine was untouched, however he noted that the disapproving glances of the townspeople pointed in the direction of a particular house and Saitoh knew it to be the place. He sighed heavily and made his way slowly over to investigate why there was loud cackling, and obnoxious screaming coming from the house. When he approached the front entrance the noise grew louder. He raised an eyebrow.

What could possibly be going on there? I hear nothing but women inside. Goodness, they're noisy when they get together. I wonder if Tokio is this loud when she gets together with her girlfriends.

Saitoh took a deep breath of air and wished he had stopped for a smoke before he reached the house. He had a strange feeling that this was going to be a rather unusual investigation. Not wanting to waste anymore time he crossed the entrance frame and walked quickly to the door. Then he stopped dead. A woman in a low-cut kimono stood outside of the door. Her eyes raked over him with a scrutiny he was not used to receiving and he was surprised that the look bothered him.

He shook off the discomfort, knowing that such feelings were unnatural to him and continued up the walkway to approach the woman. He nodded to the woman and tipped his cap.

"Good afternoon, Miss. I am Fujita Goro, from the Tokyo Police Department. I was sent to investigate a disturbance. May I come in?"

While he spoke the woman had continued to size him up, going over every detail of his appearance as closely as she could from where she stood. She gave him a sweet smile. "I'm glad that you came Officer Fujita. I'm Kengo Mine. My friends and I have actually been waiting for you and will be most honored if you came inside. You're a little older than what I expected, but you look to be in wonderful shape. You're absolutely perfect."

Saitoh needed a few moments to get over that one. He shook his head wearily- this was going to be a strange investigation indeed. The woman moved aside to let him in, but the space looked wider than it actually was so he ended up brushing lightly against her as he stepped through the doorway.

"Excuse me," he said apologetically, letting Fujita Goro the peace officer take over the investigation. The Wolf of Mibu, Saitoh Hajime was not the right personality for this kind of assignment.

"That's alright, officer. Go right in." A wry smirk formed on the woman's face and Saitoh immediately felt the suffocating notion of being trapped.

What kind of an assignment did the department give me?

He didn't have much time to think the question over, because the woman brushed past him now, passing a hand lightly over the hilt of his katana as she motioned for him to follow her. In a normal case any person who touched his katana was as good as dead, but this was a different situation entirely. He had to handle this more carefully.

The woman sashayed ahead of him and led him down a dark hallway where he heard the outrageously loud giggles of the rest of the women. He fumed silently. They had no regard for the kind of noise they made. He wondered what Tokio would think of their behavior. They stopped before a door where the noise was now unbearable. He sighed heavily before he reached out to slide the door open, but the woman stopped his hand and leaned into his ear to whisper, "These ladies have been waiting a long time for you. They're all yours." Then she closed her hand over his and opened the door for him.

Saitoh wished he had called in sick today. The room was filled with ten women who looked at him, all with that same wanton stare. He had to admit that he was more than uncomfortable now. In all of his years with the Shinsengumi he had faced deadly enemies, close to losing his life each time, but what he faced now made him feel he would lose something more important than his life. He shook his head.

What am I thinking? These women are harmless. I have nothing to worry about here. I'll just ask my questions, give them an earful, and then be on my way and forget I ever had this bullshit assignment.

He cleared his throat. "You ladies are making quite a bit of noise. There have been some complaints about you from the townspeople. What is going on here?"

Mine shrugged. "You've got this all wrong, officer." Her hand went behind him and touched him where only Tokio was allowed to touch him. "We're just having fun." She had strong hands, for one of his cheeks throbbed after being pinched with her fingers. He gripped his katana tightly. Then he shifted his amber gaze to eye the woman fiercely.

"I will say this only once, madam. Do not touch me."

Her eyes grew wide and she turned to the other females. "Wow, he's good," she said to a lady near her and proceeded to closely inspect Saitoh's uniform. She tugged on his shirt collar and leaned into his ear to whisper, "So when are you going to start the show?"

Saitoh almost fell over. What the hell is she talking about, he wondered as he wrenched the woman's hands from him. "I'm conducting an investigation. You women are disturbing the peace and I'm here to take care of that. May I suggest you take a seat before you find yourself inside of a nice, comfortable grave?" He had gone too far. The room filled with one gasp after another as the ladies looked at each other in disbelief. Then all eyes were on the angry wolf.

"Boy, are you a convincing cop. I almost believed you were going to arrest me," said one woman who stood up and began to dance. She went up to Saitoh and grabbed his hand. "I'm not too good at this. I'm sure your moves are much better." She winked. He glared at her. "Whoa! Those eyes are so intense. It's such a sexy glare!"

What's so sexy about being so close to death, Saitoh thought to himself as he pulled his hand out of the woman's grasp and shoved her back. He had it. He was ready to commit Aku Soku Zan on a roomful of women, and he wouldn't think twice about it. He had never felt the urge to harm a woman before, but this group was asking for it. And then they did something to encourage his wrath even more…they ripped his shirt open.

"Hey come on! I'm not paying you to stand there and look cute. Take it off already!"

"Yeah, cut the act and get on with it!"

One woman after another began to gang up on the Wolf of Mibu and before he knew it he had drawn his sword. They collectively gasped and backed off.

"Shit, this is too much. I didn't order someone like this," Mine said as she shivered nervously next to her female cohorts. They eyed him warily and wished that he would go away. Saitoh held his sword poised at his side and waited for one of them to move. If they were going to make it so difficult to conduct a simple investigation he would just have to take care of it his own way. He didn't know what had gotten into these women, but he had enough of them. To hell with questions, and arrests- his brand of justice was about to begin.

"Hello ladies!"

Saitoh's amber glare shifted to a young man who had suddenly appeared in the doorway. He was an extremely handsome youth dressed in a police uniform unlike the ones that other policemen wore. Saitoh noticed that his pants were just long enough to cover the top half of his thighs leaving the rest of his legs exposed, and his policeman's shirt was merely a tank top with half of the buttons undone. The wolf couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

I know that the department is making some cuts, but if this is supposed to be our new police uniform, then I quit.

The young man sauntered into the room and headed straight for the women. "I hear that there are some bad girls in this house. I'm here to take care of that," he said and pulled one of the frightened females into his arms. "There's no need to be so nervous. Just relax."

The woman gave him a blank stare. "You're the stripper right?" He knotted his brows uncertainly and nodded his head slowly. She gestured to something behind him. "Then who's that?"

The young man turned and looked right at the point of a katana. "Whoa! Either I'm invading someone else's gig or he's a real cop." He backed away into the group of huddled women when the katana jerked forward. "Ah! I was told to come here and dance for the ladies. I didn't know they gave you this gig too!"

Saitoh pulled the sword back an inch. He was intrigued. "Dance? For them? And why is that?"

Kongo Mine raised her hands in defeat and stepped forward. "It's what we hired him for. You see, our friend Mitsuga Tomiko is getting married next week and we wanted to throw her a party so we hired Inspector Sekushi to make it fun for her. So when you showed up we thought…" her voice trailed off as she lowered her gaze bashfully.

Saitoh found it hard to put two and two together. The grabbing, the dancing, the looks that made him feel beyond uncomfortable, and the hands that had torn his shirt; he didn't want to think about what they had had in mind and what might have happened if the young man hadn't showed up when he did. Saitoh wasn't sure about what was going on and he decided he didn't want to find out. If they kept their noise to a minimum they could have their little party with Inspector Sekushi. What did he care? He lowered his sword and placed it back into the sheath. Everyone sighed with relief.

"You know officer, I'm really sorry for the misunderstanding. I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that." Saitoh saw the young woman Mine, come forward giving him a coy smile as she brushed lightly past him. "I'm almost sorry you're not here for the party. I feel so sorry, that I think I want to get arrested." And with that she reached behind and pinched Saitoh's posterior again. She bolted out of the room before he could react. The women in the room hollered after her.

"Woo-hoo! Mine, you're too much!"

"Oi, control yourself, Mine! He's a cop for goodness sake!"

"Ah, let it go, Mayo. He's a hot cop!" All eyes were on Saitoh again. "You know officer, if you want you can stay and join Inspector Sekushi. We'd love to have you both."

Saitoh felt the blood drain from his face and wasted no time in declining the offer. "Sorry, but I have to run ladies. Everything looks fine here. Don't make too much noise, okay?" He tipped his hat and inched out of the room as quickly he could without making a run for it.

When he was safely outside of the gate he leaned heavily against the concrete wall and just gazed absently into the sky. How is it that he ended up with such an assignment? Was it some kind of a joke from that damned rookie? Well, if it was it was certainly his last one…

Saitoh regained his composure and took out his cigarettes. He smoked entirely too much, and Tokio so wanted him to cut down or quit altogether. Ah, Tokio. Her name brought a smile to his face as he placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it. He inhaled deeply sighing with relief.

I'm so glad that I have a wife like Tokio to come home to. She works hard to make things comfortable for our family. I should let her know more often, how much I appreciate her.

Saitoh decided to stop by the market and pick up some red snapper. He was going to make her favorite meal for a change. She deserved it. He knew how lucky he was to have her. She wasn't like those women at the house. They were loud, obnoxious, and entirely too friendly with strangers. Saitoh shuddered, and his posterior ached slightly at the memory. He was so glad that Tokio wasn't like those women. She would never agree to that kind of a gathering. Saitoh was sure his wife had no such party when they were about to get married.


Ten years ago, after the Bakumatsu, a gathering of single women assembled in the home of the lovely,Takagi Tokio to celebrate her upcoming wedding. After many cups of sake, Tokio couldn't help but dance with the lovely young men that her friends had invited to the party. They were half naked and she danced with two of them who moved in close and sandwiched her between them. Tokio had lots of fun at her party.


Saitoh finished his cigarette and started to walk. No, Tokio would never have had that kind of party.

Sure. If he only knew.