I do not own 'Naruto'
Tsunade Senju was many things. Some good, some bad.
Grand-daughter of the First Hokage, great-niece of the Second and student of the Third. The last of the Senju line. The worlds greatest medical ninja. A drunkard. One of the Legendary Sannin, holder of the slug contract. A bad gambler. The Fifth Hokage and the first female Hokage. A seat warmer-
Say what you want about that last one, she's basically holding the seat for her favorite blond and she knew it.
With all of this, there was one thing that Tsunade wasn't. A fool.
As she read over the piece of paper, she began doubting that last one.
It was a village alliance proposal through marriage from the Village Hidden in Sand. It seemed that they wanted to reaffirm their once rocky alliance, but with a more tangible method.
How'd I get roped into this again? She asked herself. Oh right, him.
Said blond chose that time to barge into her office. Through the window.
"Hey Granny, Shizune said you wanted to see me."
Speak of the devil. She thought as she refrained from hitting him over the remark to her age.
"Well brat I called you here for some important things." Tsunade spoke.
"You're going to give me that hat?" Naruto asked with a smile.
"Close." She answered. "I've been going over your record since you've graduated, and a little before, and I must say that I'm impressed." She stated a she motioned to some files. "Painting the monument, stealing the Forbidden scroll to learn a A-Rank Jutsu in a matter of hours. Helping liberate a country. Then there was the Chunin exams; a little rough but the results speak for themselves." She turned to him. "I've decided that I'm promoting you."
She relished the look on his face as she presented him the Chunin vest. His Chunin vest.
Naruto couldn't believe it! He had been promoted! He was a Chunin!
"Try it on." She urged.
Naruto couldn't seem to get it on fast enough.
Hmm, completely clashes with his orange jumpsuit. Tsunade thought. Maybe I can use that to persuade him to get rid of the thing.
"Yes!" Naruto shouted in glee. "I'm one step closer! And one step ahead of the teme!"
"Settle down Naruto." Tsunade ordered. "There's more."
"More!?" He asked eagerly.
Tsunade took a deep breath as she spoke the next words. This next part was more important than some silly promotion.
"Naruto, I want to talk to you about your heritage."
She watched as he actually seemed to...slow down. It seemed he was processing what she had said.
"What heritage?" Naruto asked curiously. "I'm an orphan."
"Yes, but babies don't pop up out of nowhere." Tsunade joked, hoping to ease the tension.
"Then where do they come from?" Naruto asked.
"...We're going to come back to that one." Tsunade stated.
The blond Hokage pulled out a file and handed it over to the Chunin.
Naruto opened the file to see a few documents that he didn't bother reading and a picture of a red headed woman.
"Who's she?" Naruto asked.
"That is Kushina Uzumaki, your mother." Tsunade answered as she watched him carefully.
Too her utter shock, Naruto hadn't reacted the way she had expected. He didn't have some emotional break down. No angry outburst. No...anything Naruto-like. He simply looked at the photo before he closed the folder and slid it away and looked Tsunade in the eyes.
"What's going on." Naruto demanded more than asked.
"What do you mean?" Tsunade asked, trying to play innocent. "I thought you'd like to-"
"You're one of my few precious people, I trust you." Naruto spoke seriously. "Don't play games with me, I'm begging you."
Tsunade was taken back by his open confession. Sure he was brash, but never...like that. Though she couldn't help but be happy at his confession. The Hokage gave him another once over before sliding the paper from the Sand Village over to him.
"The Sand Village has sent a contract for an alliance between us." Tsunade spoke. "Now please understand that we're on shaky terms because of the invasion. So they thought it best to show a sign of both trust and a symbolization of such an alliance through union."
"Union?" Naruto questioned.
"Marriage." She answered. "A marriage between a Kunoichi of their village and a Shinobi of ours."
"Which Shinobi?" Naruto asked.
If it had been any other Shinobi, Tsunade would have questioned them. But this was Naruto Uzumaki, she knew he wasn't playing around, he was in fact this dense. And she was prepared.
"Here's a file on him." Tsunade spoke as she handed him another folder.
Naruto opened and found an image of himself.
"Uh, granny." He began. "I think you made a mistake. You gave me my file."
"I know." She answered with a smirk.
Tsunade watched in mild amusement as the gears began to turn in his head. She watched as his eyes widened and how he paled when realization hit.
"Oh no, oh no!" Naruto began paling as he backed away.
"Calm down." Tsunade ordered.
"Calm down, you expect me to calm down when you're telling me I'm getting married!?" Naruto screamed. "Not happening, no way!"
Tsunade sighed, she had expected this.
"Sorry to tell you this Naruto, but you don't have a say in the matter." Tsunade stated, feeling bad as the look of dismay came unto Naruto's face. "As a Shinobi, it's your duty to sacrifice life and limb for your village. Well sacrificing your life doesn't always mean death."
"So I have to take on another burden." Naruto muttered without looking at the Hokage, that actually broke her heart.
"N-Naruto, I chose you for a reason!" Tsunade snapped back. "Believe it or not Naruto, I'm doing this to help you." She stated honestly.
"...How?" He asked, looking her in the eyes.
"Politically, this will be an important move for both Konoha and Suna." Tsunade explained. "Something like this, the actual symbol of our alliance, is both a great and grave responsibility. It will look good on your Hokage Resume. Naruto Uzumaki, he married a foreign Kunoichi for the sake of his village."
Naruto couldn't deny that it was true. Self sacrifice was a nice image for a leader.
"It's for the good of the village Naruto." Tsunade stated almost pleadingly. "We need this alliance. Konoha is still suffering from the invasion from the Sound-Sand alliance, and so is Sand." Tsunade explained. "This leaves us vulnerable to attack from the other great villages, and the minor ones if they get any ideas. Kumo and Iwa have always held negative feelings toward us."
"So why do I have to get married?" Naruto asked, trying to understand.
"After their betrayal, even if it was mislead, we are on shaky terms." The Hokage stated. "We need something that symbolizes out alliance, the marriage. Them sending a kunoichi here is a sign of trust, which we return by accepting. Our actions afterwards, such as how she's treated will show how well we can work together in the future and, if we're lucky, build a greater alliance."
"Do we know who she is?" Naruto asked quietly.
"Temari...Temari...Temari." He played the name over trying to place it. "It sounds familiar."
"It should, she was here for the Chunin exams. The daughter of the late Fourth Kazekage." Tsunade stated. "As well as Gaara's sister."
An image of the blond kunoichi came into his mind. Her use of the fan as a weapon and her cruelty to TenTen. Naruto began to pale at the thought of being married to a woman like her.
Wait, Gaara's sister!? He thought horrified.
Then came the image of Gaara. The demon container and his maniacal...episodes. The blond shivered at the thought of having him as a brother-in-law.
"I understand...some of this." Naruto admitted. "But what's this got to do with my heritage?"
"I'm sure you know that there would be...complications if people though such an important situation was going through someone of...low lineage." She explained as best she could. "Especially someone with your... complicated background."
"Translation; shit would hit the fan when people found out a something so big was hanging on a no named pariah." Naruto stated.
"...You're catching on." Tsunade stated before she gained a shit-eating grin. "Plus, I just want to stick it to the Council."
"What about the downside of choosing me?" Naruto asked nervously.
"Such as?" She asked.
"Well you know a lot of people in the village don't like me because of the fox." Naruto stated sadly. "It'd be unfair to make her go through that. Plus, what if she's just like them. And she's from the sand village, a lot of people are still mad at the because of the invasion."
You're really thinking this through. Tsunade thought impressed. And for more her sake than your own.
"Naruto, I'm not going to lie, you two are going to have it rough." Tsunade stated. "Political marriages are hard enough, but you are going to go through things I can't hope to understand. You're the host of the demon fox and being married off for the village. To a village that we have strained relationships with. But I believe there's hope?"
"Hope?" Naruto repeated skeptically. After admitting you don't understand.
"Naruto, I believe Temari is the only option for you from that village, this is another reason to make me believe she's a good choice for you. Hell, I think she's a better choice than most women here." Tsunade stated. "Her brother is like you so she can at least sympathize, and if I'm right, she'll also have experience at being...ostracized. And I hope, that with time, you two can grow to both care and maybe even love each other. "
But...she was afraid of Gaara. Naruto thought sadly. "But-"
"Plus, as the daughter of their late Kazekage, she would have been groomed to be, at the very least, professional in this situation." Tsunade informed.
"So why me?" Naruto asked. "If this is so important, why not someone from a famous clan, like the prodigy Neji Hyuuga, or even the last Uchiha?"
"Honestly, I believe it's because they're afraid of you." Tsunade admitted, causing Naruto to tense.
"D-Do they know about the..."
"No." She answered. "As far as we can tell, they know nothing about the Kyuubi."
"You managed to single-handedly defeat Gaara." She explained, not hiding how impressed she was. "Their strongest Shinobi, who is also their trump card as a host, and you did it at such a young age. Apparently, not even a squad of their best Shinobi could accomplish that."
"Yeah, I'm awesome." Naruto chuckled as he scratched the back of his head.
"Now they probably see you as a trump card for the village." Tsunade explained. "This is good, as it will also keep them from trying anything."
"So, I'll basically be keeping Suna back...while also helping us by teaming up?" Naruto stated confused. "That seems...contradictory."
"Yeah, but that's politics." Tsunade admitted.
"Can I ask a question?" Naruto asked uneasily, gaining a nod. "Who was my dad?" He asked. "If my mom is here, then you must know who he is, right?"
Tsunade eyed him for a moment as she considered the actions of telling him. It wasn't that she didn't want to, that wasn't it at all, she just didn't know if he could...handle the news. After a moment of contemplating, she decided to go with her gut.
"...Naruto, what I'm about to tell you is a very great secret." Tsunade stated, as she pulled out another file. "In this file is your father, but you must not tell anyone-anyone until the time is right. This can't be revealed until your...wedding day."
Naruto stared at the lady before he turned to the file that lay before him. In it was the answer to one of the greatest questions he had been wondering all his life. Who was his father?
He took a deep breath as he steadied himself. Well, here goes.
Naruto opened the folder...before slamming it shut.
"Tell me this is a joke." Naruto half demanded half begged. "Tell me this is a bad joke for calling you granny and old and...just tell me it's not true!"
"It's true Naruto."
Naruto opened the file again and read the name, not that he needed to. He knew who the man was the minute he laid eyes on him. The man that was supposed to be his father. Minato Namikaze, the Fourth Hokage.
The very man that sealed the demon fox in him and made his life a living hell.
"I'm sure you have some questions." Tsunade spoke patiently. "I'll answer as bes-"
"Why me?" Naruto asked.
"...Best guess, he was either desperate or-"
"He couldn't ask someone to do what he himself couldn't." Tsunade stated. "How could he, the leader of the village, ask someone to give up their child when he couldn't do it himself?"
Naruto practically glared at the file. "If I'm the son of the villages greatest hero, why was my life hell?"
"Fear, anger and pain of loss can cause people to do terrible things, even let it cloud their judgment." The Hokage stated. "Until you showed up, I was a testament to that."
"Why wasn't I allowed to know who my family was?" Naruto asked.
"Probably to keep you safe, your parents had a lot of enemies." Tsunade stated. "Kumo once tried to kidnap your mother because of her Uzumaki heritage and Iwa underwent a massive...loss of numbers thanks to your father in the last great war."
"Your mother was originally from Whirlpool, an ally of the Leaf."
"Do I have any family out there?" Naruto asked hopefully.
"Not to our knowledge." Tsunade stated uneasily. "Your father himself wasn't from a clan and nothing of his family is known. The Uzumaki clan was wiped out in the last war by the combined might of the enemy villages. If there are any survivors, they're scattered out in hiding and probably know nothing of you."
"I see." Naruto muttered.
"...I have a little good news on the topic." Tsunade stated almost desperately. "You have a family member inside the village, though very distant. I hope it isn't a problem."
"Of course not!" Naruto shouted. "Who is it!?
"You're looking at her!" Tsunade stated proudly. "My grandmother was Mito Uzumaki, making us relatives."
"...I guess you really are granny Tsunade now!" Naruto shouted in joy.
"You brat, we're cousins!" She shouted, though there was no anger. "Now, back to your earlier statement." Tsunade spoke. "You're lack of knowledge of the...Birds and the Bees."
"What do birds and bugs have to do with anything?" Naruto asked.
Tsunade stared at her fellow blond for a moment too see if he was messing with her. All she got was that clueless but innocent look.
"Get me Anko Mitarashi." She ordered through the intercom. "Immediately."
"Anko?" Naruto questioned before he paled. "That crazy snake lady, what she got to do with this!?"
"As the soon to be husband, there will be...obligations you need to fulfill." Tsunade spoke as her cheeks began to redden.
"Like what?" Naruto asked suspiciously.
"Well, consummation." She stated.
"Con...summation?" He repeated. "Like eating?"
"Oh there will be some eating alright." A new voice spoke up. "At least, if you're a considerate lover."
"Hello Mitarashi-San." Tsunade greeted. "You got here pretty fast."
"Hello Hokage-Sama, my awkward senses were tingling." Anko returned. "I take it you want me to give this lovable brat 'The Talk' for you."
"What's 'The Talk' you two are going on about?" Naruto asked both suspiciously and nervously. "Why can't you give it to me?"
Naruto didn't get an answer because the Hokage was already out the door.
Naruto ran to the door to open it, but the nob wouldn't even budge.
"Don't bother lover boy." Anko spoke happily. "It's been locked."
"W-What're you going to do to me?" He asked nervously. I'm trapped in the room with the crazy snake lady!
"I'm going to send you on a class course on hanky-panky!" She admitted. "Alrighty blondie, let's begin!" Anko began cheerfully. "When a mommy and a daddy love each...no, no that's no good. Let's be realistic here, it'll happens with or without love." She stated casually. "You ever have angry sex, it's pretty fierce!"
Anko took a thinking pose as she began pacing around the room, muttering to herself. Naruto took this time to inch his way towards the windows.
So close! He thought.
"I've got it!" Anko shouted gleefully. Anko sat on the desk and spread her legs. "Naruto." She spoke. "This is a vagina."
Tsunade stood there patiently as she waited for Naruto's whimpers to cease. Once it did, she released he hold on the door.
It's for his own good. She assured herself.
"So why didn't you tell him the stuff?" Jiraiya asked.
"Because I'm too embarrassed to do it." Tsunade admitted. It was bad enough with Nawaki, never again.
"So why not send in I, Jiraiya the gallant?" He asked as he struck a pose.
"Because I don't want him coming out a ruined pervert."
He couldn't help but raise an eye brow. "...Yet you send in Anko."
"She can at least get laid without paying for it." Tsunade stated before walking off.
-Thirty minutes later
Tsunade had assumed that enough time had passed for Anko to have covered the basics. The rest would have to be learned the same way as everyone else. Through the trial and error of a jittery virgin. She had decided to wandered back to her office.
"So how...was...it?" She asked.
As she entered the office, she took note of Naruto curled up in the fetal position of her floor with a lot of blood flowing from his nose.
"Goodbye innocence." Naruto whispered.
"Alright, enough with the drama." Tsunade spoke. "There's more that we need to go over."
"Can you guessed why I had Anko-"
"Ruin my innocent mind!" Naruto declared.
"Why I had Anko educate you on...reproduction."
"...Cause I call you granny?" Naruto guessed.
"Is he getting dumber?" Anko asked.
"You're dismissed Anko." Tsunade stated as she pinched the bridge of her nose. Once the kunoichi was gone, she turned back to Naruto. "The reason I had her inform you is because there will be more obligations than marrying a stranger."
"Like?" Naruto asked suspiciously.
"Having a child so-"
Naruto said it so firmly and so calmly that Tsunade had to do a double take. He was standing firm and looked Tsunade eyes, he wasn't planning on backing down on this.
"Ask me to sacrifice myself for the village, fine, I've been doing that since the day I was born." Naruto stated honestly, causing the woman to flinch. "Ask me to save someone, friend or stranger, and I'll put my life on the line. Hell, you can ask me to kill someone and I'll hunt them down. But don't think I'll make my child bare a burden." Naruto stated. "Not for you, not for the village, not even for the Shinigami."
"What about for your family?" Tsunade challenged, catching his interest. "Naruto, for all we know you are the last of the Uzumakis, we know you're the last in the village walls. If you go, then your family and all it was goes with it."
"Better to fade with silent dignity than to scratch like a beggar." Naruto stated.
"But your child will be a sign of hope for your family." Tsunade stated. "A chance to start anew, the kind of life you would have wanted."
That made Naruto pause in his determination. If it was just him, then it would have been fine, he had lived without any title all his life and could go the rest of it the same way. All he had wanted was knowledge of his family, not titles of grandeur.
But I don't want my kid to grow up a no-named one like me. Naruto thought. Being a no one was something that he had hated almost as much as being an orphan. Especially after being in the same class as most of the villages clan heirs. It was like salt to his wounds.
He doubted he could make it to Hokage in time for the kid to be born.
"So my kid would be the hope of the clan?" Naruto asked.
"That's not all, as your child he-"
"Or she!" Naruto corrected.
"Or she-will be the bridge between the two villages." Tsunade informed. "And as the child of a...host and such a promising kunoichi, your child or children will be strong, there's no doubt about that."
"Just being born would make the kid special." Naruto thought proudly.
"Every parent thinks that." Tsunade stated with a roll of her eyes. "I've delivered so many babies with each mother and father thinking they'd be the next messiah or revolutionist."
"Well mine can and will prove how special thy are as soon as they take their first breath." Naruto countered.
The more he thought on it, the more it appealed to him. Naruto really liked the idea of having a family.
-In The Village Hidden in Sand
The Suna was currently informing their chosen kunoichi of her new...task. It was not going over so well.
"Please Temari, you must understand that...!"
"What I understand is you're trying to sell me off to that Tree Hugger village!" Temari shouted.
"We expect you to do your duty as a kunoichi." One of the Clan heads stated firmly. "That village of Tree Huggers, as you called them, is our only hope. Suna is weak from the war and after that stunt pulled by the treacherous snake, we're in desperate need of help. No one will trust us and we were already falling because of our economic crisis."
"It's only a matter of time before we're invaded." Someone stated, which the Council agreed with.
"So send me on a few hundred S-Rank missions, and-"
"This is a mission." Baki stated calmly. "A life long mission to ensure our villages' survival."
"As the only daughter of our late Kazekage and one of our most promising Kunoichi, you have certain...obligations."
Temari wasn't really surprised by all of this, she knew that there was always a likely chance of this happening. She had just thought that she'd have more time! Time to carve out a name for herself as a kunoichi. Time to reconnect with her brother. Time to have her own life!
"Who is she to marry." Gaara demanded.
Though Gaara had regained his sanity, for the most part, he was still feared. He had a bloody history for one so young, more so than your average Shinobi has in a lifetime. That kind of thing doesn't just go away. There was no promise that he wouldn't lose control and kill someone. It wasn't like there was much they could do if he did.
Temari paled at the name. She didn't know anything about the boy other than he defeated Gaara and the demon inside of him. To her, no normal person could do something like that. The only thing that could beat another monster like that was another monster. Plus he didn't appear to be all that smart.
"Hmm." Gaara thought it over. "I approve."
There sensation of relief was a nearly physical from those in the Council chambers. It seemed that they wouldn't be crushed under sand, today.
Temari on the other hand was not relieved. Sure, she was happy that her brother was no longer a killing machine. She wasn't happy that he was agreeing to have her married off.
"Gaara, you don't actually want me to marry this guy for political reasons, do you?" Temari asked, feeling hurt. "Do you honestly think that highly of him. Sure, he's strong, but he's-well, he's an idiot!"
"I think he's a strong idiot with a heart of gold." Gaara stated honestly. "I want you to marry him because I know that he believes in protecting his precious people. As one, I know he will keep you safe and care for you with his life. That's all I want for my sister.
"Oh Gaara." Temari spoke with tears in her eyes. That's so sweet.
"And I'll crush anyone that tries to get in the way of that." He added with an ample supply of Killer Intent.
There's that psycho we all fear. They thought.
"Minus the fact he beat and changed Gaara, why would you all want me to marry him?" Temari asked skeptically. "I'm sure there are other eligible men, Shinobi and civilian alike."
"Yes, there are eligible men there." One admitted. "As well as those from prestigious clan, but we're looking for something a little more in the long run."
"We see great promise from this Shinobi." They answered. "Our Intel says that he may become an important figure for Konoha in the future."
"Such as?" Temari pushed, she needed all she could from him.
"He was seen as the ward by the Third Hokage and seems to have a close bond with the Fifth, who is the granddaughter of the First and great niece of the Second as well as a student of the Third." Someone explained. "It also seems that he's the current apprentice of the Toad Sage, Jiraiya."
"Wasn't his original Sensei Kakashi Hatake, the Copycat ninja?" A council head asked. "The son of the White Fang?"
"And also one of the students of the Fourth Hokage."
"Though we can't confirm it, we believe he is a descendant of the Uzumaki Clan."
"Never heard of them." Temari stated, thinking they weren't important.
"They were the key clan to the Whirlpool village." Baki explained. "Feared for their Fuinjutsu, as well as their unique chakra and unnaturally high vitality. They had a marriage alliance between the Senju clan."
"He also has an amazing record." Someone stated. "His first C-Rank mission turned A-Rank and that was the same mission that killed Zabuza Momochi, the Demon of the Mist, and liberated an entire village. He is now the hero of that village after helping free it, and now he has a bridge named after him."
"As well as he helped stop a traitor with an A-rank Jutsu, that he learned that night."
"How long has he been a Genin?" Someone asked in awe.
"Not even a full year!" Another answered just as astonished.
"Hm, he's looking better and better." A councilwoman stated. "I might ask if my daughter can participate in this marriage...to increase the villages' bonds of course."
Temari felt her anger go up at the woman. First they want to give her away as a piece offering, now they have the audacity to such a weak excuse to...join in! The nerve!
Calm yourself Temari. She mentally ordered as she took a breath. You have to focus.
"What would my responsibilities entail?" She asked quietly.
"Though it won't be for awhile, you will have to produce at at least one child." A councilman answered. "This will further seal the alliance on both ends."
"And what will happen to the child?" She asked tensely.
It was one thing to be asked to sacrifice yourself for the village. It was another to ask you to sacrifice someone else, even more so for your own child. She had seen what that can do to a family, just look at hers.
"The child will have duel citizenship and be raised to be the liaison between Konoha ans Suna." Someone answered. "From there own, it's basically the life of an unspoken ambassador and emissary, trying to keep the peace. But something like that won't come until he or she reaches adulthood."
Temari breathed a mental sigh of relief at the information. Likely both sides will be able to try...influencing the child but under her roof she could give it the proper tutelage against those that would manipulate him or her.
Naruto Uzumaki huh? She thought. Temari Uzumaki.
A little rocky, but I think it's a decent start, don't you?
I've told you that there will be bashing, will Kakashi be bashed, or will he be good. Or will he earn back the chance for forgiveness? You decide!
Others added to pairing if you'd like, not too many though.