Sesame Street… What was once a vibrant and happy place. is now under the boot of communism. All thanks to their new leader... Kim Jong Elmo. Because as you more than likely already know, (Unless you never paid attention in history class) Kim Jong Il was actually a spiritual being that was made of pure Communism. So when he died he needed a new host. Unfortunately for us, the host he chose was one of our greatest Murican heroes, Elmo.
When the spirit of Kim Jong Il took over Elmo, Elmo began to enforce new rules for Sesame Street. He created focus time camps, segregated humans and puppets, turned the Swedish Chef's kitchen into a nuke kitchen, turned the cookie monster into the veggie monster, and so much more.
At first the citizens of Sesame Street thought Elmo was just joking around. However when they started to notice that all the humans have gone missing, and that anyone who asked Elmo about the humans whereabouts were immediately captured by Elmo secret service agents. They knew that this was not a prank bro!
After Elmo had complete power over Sesame Street, it was time for phase two of Elmo's plan. Elmo announced that he would be giving a televised speech, and that he would love for all the world to watch. The world was unaware that Elmo had become a Communist bastard, so people were happy to see what Elmo had to say. Including a certain long time fan…
Meanwhile Dick Cheney was enjoying his favorite new hobby. Looking at Steven Universe rule 34 fanart. More specifically, the Lapis Lazuli section of it. When Dick Cheney first laid eyes on her in the episode where she tried to murder two children, Dick knew he was in love with her.
However as he was looking through all of the amazing porn, he got an email from his acquaintance Harry Whittington. Dick opened up the email, and the email read "Hey Dick, did you hear that Elmo will be giving a live speech on television today?" Dick Cheney was happy and surprised. Elmo had always be a great Murican role model, and Dick was excited to see Elmo speak again. Mainly because Elmo has such a way with words.
Dick Cheney quickly turned on his small TV that he keeps on his desk, and changes the channel to Sesame Street, There he saw Elmo, however something seemed off… But Dick just ignored it since Elmo looked like he was about ready to give his speech.
Elmo got the ok from the ESSA (Elmo Secret Service Agents), and began to speak. "People of the world, but specifically the Yallnited Steaks of Murica! Elmo has a message for you!" Dick Cheney started to get worried, Elmo's tone was so bitter and heartless. "Elmo wants all of you to know that Sesame Street is no longer a friendly neutral street, but we are now a Communist street!" A tear began form in Dick Cheneys eye. "And for those of you deny Elmo's power!" Elmo then pushes a red button that was on the podium. At first it seemed like it did nothing, but then the camera pans over to the swedish nuke kitchen. The building opens up, and a missile shoots out of it at lightning speeds.
The camera then pans back to Elmo, who is now telling two of his ESSA members to grab something. About a minute later, the two ESSA members return with a large flatscreen TV, and place it next to Elmo for all to see. One of the ESSA members turn on the TV, revealing the Muppets. It appeared to be a live show, with no sound. Miss Piggy and Kermit appeared to be talking to each other, but suddenly they stopped. They began to look around in confusion, and just as Kermit looked up in horror, there was a large explosion. The connection died a second later. The Muppets were dead, and Elmo just stood there and smiled.
Dick Cheney couldn't take any more. He quickly turned off the TV, and began to cry. Dick was hoping that this was just a bad dream, but he knew it was all too real. Dick Cheney cried for about a minute. He didn't know how to deal with this. "Why Elmo! Why have you forsaken us!?" Cryed Dick Cheney at the top of his lungs. He had to do something, but what? Dick Cheney was about to send an email to George W Bush jr, but realized that he forgot to close his Lapis Lazuli porn. Dick decided that one last look would not hurt, and began to look at a picture of a completely nude Lapis.
However as he stared at her blue naked body, he got an idea. "I know what I must do." Dick Cheney said to himself as he went on to Amazon. After about a minute of searching, he found what he was looking for. A Lapis Lazuli gem.
To be continued...